Bombast World Exclusive:-

Firstly the disclaimer:-
This is probably not really a review - more a series of observations.

You may wonder what the difference is, but I think to submit a review
you must be able to at least see and hear a fair bit of the event. This
was not the case for me at the M/cr Beirkeller........ here goes.

The Fall at Cool(aka the bierkeller) Manchester UK 02 October 2003.

I arrive in Manchester a little later than planned, due to the second
rate public transport system. Met with friends in Wetherspoons and soon
realised exactly what I didn't like about this part of town. The
clientele - attracted by cheap booze - were a mixture of old codgers,
young drunks, the odd pimp + floozy and some guys counting lots of
money(?)
I had on the wrong shirt and should have worn Eminem or Slipnot rather
than Chumbawamba......it got some real drunken scowls.

We were un-nerved by the atmosphere, had a swift drink and headed for
the door. Next into the Piccadilly Tavern to see if we could find
Yousef. This was BETTER..... we sat down and could relax without people
glaring at us. Had a couple of beers and then realised that it was 10:15
and we should be heading for t'club. At Cool(yeh...right) they had the
house full signs up. I wondered if "The Fall - Sold Out" sign was an
omen.

The bouncers were making a bit on the side, by letting people pay even
though all the tickets had gone. This resulted in far too many people
packed into the tiny basement venue. As I came down the stairs into the
room I started to feel queezy. I had last visited this venue over 20
years ago on a stag night and vowed never to return. It was then a
popular German style beer house complete with dodgy food, steins of beer
and an Ooompah band. I half expected to hear them as support to the
Fall. That night I was really ill from over consumption and my music
appreciation took weeks to recover from the blarting Bavarian polkas.

I took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Little had changed, only
they'd got rid of a lot of wooden benches so that they could cram 'em
in.
I could hear a support band racket coming from the stage but couldn't
see a thing. We couldn't even find the bar at first - it was that
packed. I immediately bumped into fellow Bombastards Simon & Yousef and
we had a brief conversation, and I headed to the bar expecting to get
served. This was almost impossible. What a crap venue for a gig. Five
deep at the bar, about 3 staff serving and crap acoustics if the support
band was anything to go by.

In a recent interview MES said that he picked that venue because the
students wouldn't go there. Well that looked about right, the usual
die-hard Fall fans, many whom I now recognise. Took 20mins to get a
beer, then the lights went down and MES's Panda ramblings blarted out of
the PA. We assumed this was the "play on" for the band.... but it
continued for ages. The occasional irritated Fall fan jumped on stage
and shouted through the mic, which relieved the boredom. The poor sound
guy couldn't see what was happening. The ceiling is so low and the stage
only about a foot high - the bodies were packed in front of him. He was
using his mobile phone to find out when the band were coming on and what
was happening on stage...... chaotic. I noticed he put the phone down,
smiled and looked relieved towards the stage. THIS WAS IT and we pushed
forward over the broken bottles and glasses. The band were on and
straight into it - no messing. My first glimpse of the new Mrs Smith and
I was surprised that she looked OK - for him :o)

After around 3 mins MES came on and mumbled "we are the Fall" and they
were away. A lively starter that I didn't recognise. Presume it was one
of a few songs from the new album. The sound at this point was awful and
boomy with occasional screeches of feedback. The acoustics in the place
are terrible and the sound engineer appeared to be having a real grapple
with the mixer. To compound things MES was doing his usual walk about
which was adding to the problems because the engineer couldn't see the
stage or MES to drop the monitor volume when Smith was pointing the mic
at it. On the plus side the band played good and tight and MES looked
healthier than I've seen him for some time. Elenor must be doing
something right.

I'm not familiar with this band line-up. Obviously not Jim on bass, but
I may have seen the guitarist before. The drummer, who I couldn't see,
had a great powerful style - which was a highlight for me. Elenor looked
deadpan and inscrutable throughout and the keyboards were VERY low in
the mix - a sensible option, I think.

Second up was a super funky Telephone Thing. A surprise for me as this
is the first time I can remember hearing this song live. This was a good
version. The sound was beginning to get a little better, but things
didn't improve drastically. I don't think any blame can be laid with the
band/engineer or PA for this. It was just a sh*t sounding venue with too
many bodies in the way. At the back of the room it sounded like a miked
up ghetto blaster.

Some songs appeared that I didn't know but we were treated to a cracking
version of Bourgeois Town, which was really fast compared to the album.
Mr Pharmacist was rocky and well received. Nice to hear Other Side of
the Counter and the punky football chants of Sparta FC(a first for me).
Groovin with Mr B and Loco Man were also good versions.

I was just getting warmed up when BANG, it was all over. A short 50
minute set. The band came back and I went to catch a quiet moment at the
bar. When I got back MES had tired of Big Prinz and handed the mic over
to the audience. A few got up on stage and we had a Fall karaoke. Smith
left 'em to it, and to their credit the band played on relentless over
the various grunts and groans. It was amazing that they even seemed to
know which part of the song they were in. I'd completely lost track. I
thought I saw a flicker of concern cross Elenor's brow when the stage
was getting packed, but she kept pressing those silent keys like a
trouper. The band even started up an extra(bonus?) karaoke song to give
the punters another crack. Can you imagine this at an REM gig. Stipe
vacating the stage and punters queuing up to sing Loosing My Religion or
Shiny Happy People with the band. Very liberating..... more bands should
do this.

Despite the howls for more, that was it. An hour tops. I'm just glad I
didn't get into Cool earlier, I'd had enough of the place by that time.

Summary is sh*t venue, sh*t service(rip off prices), sh*t sound but
amazingly an enjoyable performance. Band sounded good and well
rehearsed, MES looked good and was on form with all the growling and
hand gestures etc.. If the new songs were anything to go by, the next
album could be interesting.

Everytime I see the Fall now, its like seeing a tribute band. You just
go to see MES and whoever else is in the band doesn't matter. I
remember(ooooh the good old days) when I used to look forward to seeing
Scanlon/Hanley/Wolstencroft & co and thinking that they played so cool.
I am a musician and I'm not being unreasonable when I say that I could
play in the Fall now, and no-one would know any difference - except me,
as I couldn't stand the pay cut!!! I mean no disrespect to the current
musicians but it never used to be like that. I used to come home from a
Fall gig and KNOW that I could never play the way they did, because it
was so special to the Fall. Smith's policy of rapid hire/fire has
resulted in a diluted dumbed down Fall. These guys know that in 3 months
they may be back playing Aerosmith covers.

Maybe it will all finish up as Karaoke, with no band and MES ranting
over some well prepared arty backing tracks, which is funnily enough
just how it sounded from the back of the venue.

Who's he gonna punch then?
--
Graydon