The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 16, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time - 89.7FM
Metallic Onslaught Web Page - http://devoted.to/onslaught
WEOS Web Page - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost
Every Saturday Night at Midnight till 6am Sunday Morning - Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM - East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca
And you can tune in on-line...
The Last Exit for the Lost direct page: http://www.TheLastExit.org
WVBR Web Page: http://WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during the show:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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If you want to be removed from this list, please just reply and let us know.
And feel free to pass this on to anyone who may find it interesting.

BANDS AND LABELS! IF YOU WANT YOUR NEWS OR SHOW DATES INCLUDED HERE - SEND
THEM ALONG!!!
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The attached picture is of Lotus Project with various Last Exit members
piled on them...

Recap from Fire Eater Wizard...

On The Metallic Onslaught:
Things were pretty much what is a normal Friday night on MO. Shoebox was
again absent as he was attending and performing at a comedy convention in
Chicago. Maury was there and was claiming to be 'Metal' now, and to be
through with his love of things un-metal like "Gilmore Girls". However, no
one believed him... There were the usual beat downs and violence...

On The Last Exit:
It was an extremely busy and insane night with many guests. There were 2
bands up for interviews. First up was Lotus Project. They were there for the
first couple hours of the show. They talked about their new CD which we
heard some songs from. They're cool. Next up was the band Special Unit 2,
who apparently has as they're manager, one of the member's grandfather. A
very old man. He sang on one of the several songs of theirs which we got to
hear. He was in a wheelchair. Friend was there and the poor old man had to
endure the suffering that goes along with a visit from Friend. Well, it is
suffering for everyone except Just Joe, who seems to like Friend's
attention, but that's just because he's weird and strange. By the time
Special Unit 2 left, poor Grandpa was either unconscious or quite possibly
dead. The Easter Bunny was indeed there (played by Just Joe), and the whole
night was spent trying to kill him, which he said could not be done. The
Enforcer was there as well. He kept choking out the Easter Bunny who
suffered much beating all night long. However, he was still alive at the end
of the show. In very bad shape, but alive. There was a lot of violence and
messiness as there was a bunch of Easter eggs around and, as you can
imagine, many of them did not remain intact for long. Great show! 2 cool
bands, and much craziness...
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I have to say, The Easter Bunny, aka Just Joe, brought us a basket of eggs,
you know, the kind that normally contain candy. He passed them out, and,
not surprisingly, they were empty. He gave one to friend when he showed up.
That was the wrong thing to do. Freind freaked out when his egg was empty,
beat the crap out of Joe, and spent most of the rest of the night searching
through the eggs hoping to find something. Lotus Project have some music up
online if you want to check it out, and I would highly recommend that you
do, as it was damned impressive. Go to http://ping.cs.man.ac.uk/~lotus/ to
check out their songs off their demo, ECHO, as well as their fun cover of
Run to the Hills. There are also lyrics and liner notes. As for Special
Unit 2, check out their site at http://myspecialunit.com/. They will be
playing tonight with Bent Peg at The Haunt. I shall be there.

Not sure what is up for The Onslaught. Maury is still working on his Metal
image though... On The Last Exit for the Lost, we will have up, Haunted by
Angels who will be debuting tracks from their new CD
(www.HauntedbyAngels.com) and at least a couple of The Plank Boys will be up
(www.Plankboys.com) and possibly Evan from 3 Monkeys Named Bob
(www.3mnb.tk), the latter two will be playing at Castaways on Sunday night,
and it may be The Plank Boys CD Release show. Not sure what else will be up
for the show, you'll have to tune in and find out.
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Boiler's Trailer Park Wisdom
http://www.boilerny.com

Howdy there Ladies & Gentlemen! Welcome to BOILER's
TrailerParkWisdom. I am your host, Fail-A-Tor, the superhero who
fails at everything. There's a big show this Friday in Syracuse, NY.
to tell ya all about, but first yer TrailerPark Wisdom:

A small Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very
difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian
determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat and to make matters
worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Bubba,
a redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the
animal's cages. Bubba, like most rednecks, had little sense, but
possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The park
administrator thought they might have a solution. Bubba was
approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with
the gorilla for $500.00?

Bubba showed some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over carefully.

The following day, Bubba announced that he would accept their offer,
but only under the following four conditions.

"First," he said........ "I don't want to have to kiss her on the
lips."
The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second," Bubba said......... "you must never tell anyone about
this."
The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third," Bubba said........ "I want all the offspring to be raised
Southern Baptist."
Once again the administrator agreed.

And last of all Bubba stated.......

"You've got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00."

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Friday, April 16th
Club Tundra - (former Lost Horizon) -Syracuse NY
9pm / 18+ / $TBA
UMTV Benefit show
BOILER w/ Undergang, Last American Virgins, Inborn & Lick the Wound
BOILER plays @ 11:30
*There will be a 16 seat passenger van leaving The Haunt no later
than 7:00pm sharp. Anyone wanting a FREE ride with a DESIGNATED SOBER
DRIVER are welcome to get on board! FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED*

**********************************************************************

BOILER newz & crap:

BOILER is now on The Sedation Metal Comp. It's from Austrailia the
band is proud to be one of those chosen. For info on gettin' a copy,
go to this http://www.sedationmusic.com

BOILER is about to be on another comp. called "The Best Of The Back
Yard". The Dog, a radio station out of Syracuse NY., will be puting
it out sometime soon.

Fer more BOILER happenings, take a peek at this
http://www.boilerny.com

**********************************************************************

That be it fer now. Don't let yer crab cake.

Fail-A-Tor, master of my own what-not....signing off.

**********************************************************************
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NEWS FROM GORGAR

In an exclusive interview with BW&BK, CELTIC FROST mainman Tom G. (Warrior)
Fischer speaks about the recording of the band's forthcoming album which has
been four years in the making. Fischer, alongside original bassist Martin
Ain and Fischer's longtime song writing partner and APOLLYON SUN
cofounder/guitarist/producer Erol Unala have just entered the studio to
record the tentatively-titled Probe opus - the official followup to 1990's
Vanity/Nemesis. About the delay, Warrior laughs: "The reason for the delay
is basically that we're not all that young. We don't feel we have to prove
something. We're not in puberty, we don't have to release an album every
month. Right now what's important to us is that we do an album we like."

TWISTED SISTER guitarist Jay Jay French answered the question "Will TS Ever
Do A Real Tour?" in the SMF Slamboard on the band's official website,
www.twistedsister.com, with the following response: "We play when we can.
Enjoy it if we come to your town. We only play 15-20 shows per year
world-wide. In reality, the band has personal and professional obligations
that absolutely prevent us from playing more then weekends twice a month. We
all agreed that this was our situation and we play based on this agreement.
I will never say never but I don't see how this will ever change. Like I
said, enjoy this while you can because this will not continue indefinitely

CHASTAIN will release their new album, In An Outrage, worldwide in June via
Leviathan Records and in Japan through Toshiba/EMI. Joining vocalist Kate
French and guitarist David T. Chastain are original VICIOUS RUMORS members,
drummer Larry Howe and bassist Dave Starr. Tracks set to appear on In An
Outrage are: 'Souls The Sun', 'Hamunaptra', 'Bullet From A Gun', 'Tortured
Love', 'Malicious Pigs', 'Rule The World', 'Lucky To Be Alive', 'Women Are
Wicked' and 'In An Outrage'. In An Outrage is the band's first release since
1997's In Dementia. Leader David T. Chastain comments, "In Dementia was the
stepping stone from pre-Kate Chastain to the current model. We are now
touching on influences that run the gamut of old school and new school
metal. Overall the sound of the CD is very strong. Probably the best mixed
CD of the Chastain discography." For more info go to:
www.leviathanrecords.com/chaslist1.htm In related news, also in June
Leviathan Records will be releasing Chastain's The 7th & The Voice. This
release is a remastered, repackaged, reissue of the classic Chastain albums
The 7th Of Never and The Voice Of The Cult, on one CD. Both albums featured
the studio lineup of David T. Chastain on guitar, Leather on vocals, Mike
Skimmerhorn on bass and Ken Mary on drums.

LEATHERWOLF have posted two more MP3 clips featuring featuring new vocalist
Jeff Martin (RACER X). Head to www.leatherwolfmusic.com to hear 'Behind The
Gun' and 'Disconnect'.
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: April 11, 2004
(R) = Requested

Background: Steve Roach "Streams and Currents"

Lilitu "I Can Not Be Saved"
Disillusion "Alone I Stand in Fires"
Divinity Destroyed "Crestfallen / Disciple"
Lotus Project "Storm / Nelumbo Lucifera"
After Forever "Beautiful Emptiness"
Death Angel "No"
Worm Quartet "Great Idea for a Song"
Lotus Project "Burning Alive"
Subterranean Masquerade "Observation Through Metamorphosis"
Dragonforce "Fields of Despair"
Black Label Society "House of Doom"
Elvenking "White Willow"
Lotus Project "I Bleed"
The Plank Boys "Under the Influence (Over the Circumstance)" (R)
Haunted by Angels "Fallen Angel"
G-Soul "Me"
Superdrive "Blistering" (R)
Lotus Project "Run to the Hills"
Illnath "The Creator's Biggest Pride"
Edguy "Down to the Devil"
Eyes of Fire "Anyone"
Ektomore "Only God"
Special Unit 2 "Don't Waste My Time"
Bent Peg "Fun Drab"
Suffocation "Surgery of Impalement"
Tony Goldmark "The Further Adventures of Johnny Explosion"
WASP "Sister Sadie (And the Black Habits)"
Special Unit 2 "Coward"
The Old Dead Tree "It's the Same for Everyone"
Lugosi's Morphine "Nothing for You"
Soulfly "Mars"
William Hung "YMCA / Shake My Bon-Bon" (R)
Dismember "Me-God"
Ceremony 7 "Ghost Dance"
Pro-Pain "Implode"
Special Unit 2 "A Frayed Knot"
Hearse "In Love and War"
Amaran "Without Stains"
In Flames "Evil in a Closet"
The Pushrods "Tie Me Up"
Special Unit 2 "Don't Waste My Time (Reprise)"
Dionysus "March for Freedom"
Aghora "Kali Yuga"
The Model Sons "We Both Win"
The Gathering "Marooned"
Aina "The Seige of Aina"
Hypocrisy "The Departure"
Uranium 235 "God Thing" (R)
Tidfall "Neo-Torment"
We're All Gonna Die "The Things I've Forgotten"
Tarot "Undead Son"
Neverafter "Cold"
Krokus "Stayed Awake All Night - Live"
Warrior "Naked Aggression"
Hanoi Rocks "Dead By X-Mas"
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SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, April 16, Bent Peg, Special Unit 2, and The Degenerates at The Haunt,
Ithaca

Fri, April 16: Haunted by Angels at The Hopkins Youth Center, Elmira
(6-10:30 - 3-4 Bands - All Ages)

Sat, April 17: Electric Frankenstein will be doing a Book signing of their
book, “The Art of Electric Frankenstein” at The Record Archive at 5pm

Sat, April 17: Haunted by Angels and Sonarfist at Bush’s Bullpen, Montour
Falls

Sat, April 17: The Pushrods and Man Alive (on World tour from Israel,
(www.manalive.com) at Albies, Utica

Sun, April 18: 3 Monkeys Named Bob, The Plankboys, and Location at
Castaways, Ithaca (9PM - $5)

Tue, April 20: Queensryche at the Turning Stone Casino, Verona

Thurs, April 22: A Static Lullabye and Christiansen at Xtreem Wheels Indoor
Skate Park, Buffalo

Friday, April 23, 7pm
Idols Of Perversity (Ithaca punk, http://www.idolsofperversity.com), The
Pushrods
(Elmira punk, http://www.pushrodsrock.com), Stuck In Motion (Ithaca rock,
www.freewebs.com/stuckinmotion),
Los Pepiniyoz (Puerto Rican Punk).
See Spot Community Artspace, 108 The Commons. 277-7560. $5.

Sat, April 24: Haunted by Angels, Torn from 6, Pretty Suicide, and Divinity
Destroyed at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, April 24: Burnt By The Sun, If Hope Dies, FireBorn, Corpus Dei, and
Machina Infernus at Palmeri’s, 1514 Pine Ave., Niagara Falls

Sat, April 24: Cave In, Clearmotive, and 27 at The Xtreme Wheels Indoor
Skate Park, 356 Hertel Avenue, Buffalo (716-871-9361........$7 door
only.......All Ages)

Wed, April 28: Everytime I Die, Throwdown, Walls of Jericho, and 36
Crazyfists at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

Thurs, April 29: The Model Sons, The Loved Ones, and Medling Kids at The Bug
Jar, Rochester

Fri, April 30: Superjoint Ritual, Six Feet Under, Zeke, and The Heavils at
Infinity, Williamsville

Fri, April 30: Haunted by Angels at Oak’s Tavern, Corning

Sat, May 1: Project 86 at The Xtreem Wheels Indoor Skate Park, Buffalo

Sat, May 1: Superjoint Ritual, The Heavils, Thine Eyes Bleed, and Zeke at
The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Fri. May 7: Superdrive and G-Soul (Gargantua Soul) at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 7: Fallguy, Inherence, 5 Mile Line, and a Day without Rain at The
Bug Jar, Rochester

Sat, May 8: The PushRods and Plan 607 at Monty's Krown Lounge, Rochester -
9PM

Sat, May 8: Bleeding Through, Comeback Kid, and Between The Buried And Me at
The Xtreme Wheels Indoor Skate Park, 356 Hertel Avenue, Buffalo
(716-871-9361........$10/10.......All Ages)

Mon, May 10: Clutch at The Haunt, Ithaca

Wed, May 12: Jagermeister Music Tour – Prong, Dog Fashion Disco, All That
Remains, Beyond The Embrace, and Stemm at Palmeri’s, 1514 Pine Avenue,
Niagara Falls (716-282-9726......$10/13......All Ages)

Thurs, May 13: The PushRods and Plan 607 at The Haunt, Ithaca

Thurs, May 13: Worm Quartet and Torsos from Space at The Bug Jar, Rochester

Sat. May 15th:The County Proper Band (featuring members of Never The
Sunshine) at West's Lounge 9:30pm, Mansfield PA

Tue, May 18: Life of Agony, Candiria, 7N7, and Camel Clutch at The Penny
Arcade, Rochester

Sat, May 22: Haunted by Angels, Enertia, Inherence, and Thoughts Lost at The
Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 28 The PushRods and Torn from 6 at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 28: Lacuna Coil, POD, Blindside, and Hazen Street at The ESL Sports
Center, Rochester

Wed, June 9: Stretch Armstrong, Terror, Between the Buried and Me, and Out
to Win at The Xtreem Wheels Indoor Skate Park, Buffalo

Thurs, July 22: Worm Quartet and Torsos from Space at The Bug Jar, Rochester
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TOP STORIES

-------------- You Can Never Be Too Careful ----------------

GERMANY - If you need to be insured against being abducted
by aliens, losing a lottery ticket, or marrying a bigamist -
Knut Karsten Eicke is your man. Eicke's company, Sir Huckle-
berry Insurance, also sells policies aimed at covering
flyers against being harmed by turbulence, fathers fainting
at the birth of their children, stock market crashes and
employees being fired for playing computer games at work.
"The alien abduction one is a big seller," says Eicke. Any-
body who is taken away to Mars against their will stands to
gain some cash - and there are additional premiums if you
wish to be insured against being used in sex experiments in
space. The company has been in business since 1985 and
covers the usual range of house, fire, flood, life and
accident policies - but the recent addition of "fun insur-
ance" has sent its stock soaring.
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-------- History Repeats Itself - Just Press Rewind --------

According to a large chunk of the British population, the
Battle of Hastings never happened and Adolf Hitler is a
fictional character. Robin Hood was real, Harold Wilson
saved Britain during World War II and Mussolini was not a
real historical figure. Researchers conducted interviews
with over 2,000 people for Blenheim Palace to mark the
300th anniversary of the Battle of Blenheim. They made the
startling discoveries that a third of the population
believes the Cold War never occurred and another six per-
cent think The War of the Worlds, H G Well's fictional
account of a Martian invasion, did happen. This altered
view of history is a result of the strong influence of
Hollywood films and the fact that many individuals are
not moved by academia.
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---------- Human Sushi Dishes Too Hot To Handle ------------

KUNMINQ, China - A Japanese restaurant that features near-
naked girls covered with sushi has caused an uproar in the
conservative Chinese city of Kunming, Sky News reported.
Manager Li Ailing said she never expected the "Feast on a
Beauty's Body" promotion to be so explosive and controver-
sial. "The purpose of this promotion is not commercial, but
to spread Japanese culture," Li said. Known as "Nyotai Mori"
in Japan, the feasts date back to ancient times and are
usually offered to aficionados on request, the report said.
The restaurant in southwestern China charges $120 per person,
but the pay for the fair-skinned college girls was not dis-
closed. At Japanese restaurants in Britain and the United
States, women's activists have routinely protested such
occasional "Sushi in the Raw" events, calling them offen-
sive and degrading.
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PEACE PUNCH: A group of people who went to a police station to
complain about police brutality were beaten up by officers, a Papua
New Guinea newspaper reported. "The policemen refused to receive the
summons from the villagers and instead turned their anger on the
villagers," The National daily reported. Officers denied the charges
yet left the complaints bruised, battered and missing several teeth.
Odd how people can plead innocence while demonstrating guilt.
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MOUTHING OFF: Couples caught kissing each other's lips in public
could be jailed for up to five years, according to proposed laws in
Indonesia. "I think there must be some restrictions on such acts
because it is against our traditions of decency," legislator Aisyah
Hamid Baidlowi said, according to Sky News.
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FROM INFERNAL COMBUSTION.com

MACHINE HEAD ALREADY PLANNING TO DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM BRAND-NEW ALBUM

Long-running Bay Area metallers Machine Head are riding high on a
resurgence of popularity, as new album Through the Ashes of Empires is
prepped for an April 20 release in the USA. Already out overseas, the album
has been hailed as the band's best work in years – the best, in fact, since
their debut, Burn My Eyes, put the band on the map.

As the band plans its marketing strategy, guitarist/vocalist Robb Flynn has
been reading his past interviews, conducted after the release of The More
Things Change (1997), The Burning Red (1999), and Supercharger (2001).
“Lookit this,” Flynn points out. “Couple years ago, I was saying
Supercharger ruled, and that The Burning Red was weak. In '99, I was talking
up The Burning Red to high heaven, saying how The More Things Change was too
much like Burn My Eyes II. And in our European interviews this winter, I was
talking shit about Supercharger.

“Well, I'm no mathemagician, but I can see a pattern, man. I figure if we
wanna get back on top of the metal world, we gotta get ahead of the game
here. So let me be the first to say that Through the Ashes of Empires is...
well... we were just trying too hard, man. It was a really dark time in our
lives, we owed the label a lot of money, and I was struggling with some
personal demons.

“Not the same personal demons I had conquered when I was talking up
Supercharger, though,” he hastily added. “I think it was, uh, maybe a
recurrence of the ones I thought I beat when The Burning Red came out. I
think. Fuck, I need to make a chart with all this shit on it, so I can keep
track.”

Flynn pre-blames Roadrunner Records, internet downloading, and guitarist
Phil Demmel for the “huge problems” the band had – or, is about to possibly
have – with TTAOE. “Yeah, re-signing with Roadrunner, what were we thinking?
And bringing Phil back into my life [Demmel was a member of Flynn's previous
band, Vio-lence] was a huge mistake – you can't go home again, you know?
Even when you haven't left yet. Or something like that. I'm glad we finally
sacked that guy. Or we're going to. Or we are – were – did – fuck, I still
don't have the hang of this yet, do I?”

Roadrunner Records, when contacted for comment about Flynn's controversial
statements, responded by releasing six “limited edition” versions of Through
the Ashes of Empires, each with a list price of $21.98.
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FROM THE ONION

Almost No Effort Made To Stop Kid From Eating Cigarette Butt
HALLOWELL, ME—While waiting for a bus Tuesday, Stan Geraldson watched
2-year-old Jason Kemper pick up a spent cigarette butt and place it in his
mouth, but made only a minor attempt to stop him. "Hey, ah, you
shouldn't..." Geraldson told Kemper, whose mother was engaged in a
conversation a few feet away. "Don't... eat that." Geraldson said he would
have done more to stop Kemper if the item had been fiberglass or something.
__________________________________________

------ Beauty Is Literally In the Eye of the Beholder ------

AMSTERDAM - Move over body piercing and tattoos - a new
fashion craze is in town. The new look starting in the
Netherlands is eyeball jewelry. Dutch eye surgeons implant
a 3.5 mm (0.13 inch) piece of specially developed jewelry
called "JewelEye" in the mucous membrane of the eyes under
local anesthetic. So far the cosmetic surgery has been
performed on the eyes of six women and one man at an
ophthalmic surgery research and development institute in
Rotterdam. "In my view it is a little more subtle than
(body) piercing. It is a bit of a fun thing and a very
personal thing for people," said Gerrit Melles, director of
the Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery
(www.NIIOC.nl). The institute developed and patented the
jewels made with special materials and the surgical proce-
dure, and has a waiting list for people wanting the
implant.
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------------------ Talk About Hard Labor -------------------

In what is thought to be the first case of its kind, a preg-
nant woman in Mexico performed a caesarean section on her-
self with a kitchen knife and gave birth to a healthy baby
boy. The 40-year-old woman lived in a rural area without
electricity, running water or sanitation, and it was an
eight-hour drive from the nearest hospital. "She took three
small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife,
sliced her abdomen in three attempts...and delivered a male
infant that breathed immediately and cried," said Dr R.F.
Valle, of the Dr Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo,
Mexico. The woman told one of her children to call a local
nurse for help before losing consciousness. The nurse
stitched the wound with a sewing needle and cotton thread,
and the mother and baby were taken to the nearest hospital.
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This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...