The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - September 24, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

Attached pic: The Last Exit Crew, River Chicken, and The Pushrods...

** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Despite claiming that he would be there, Shoebox
was (big surprise) in fact not there. Everyone else however, and this is
extremely important, was! When Jeffie got there he claimed that he was the
one who was responsible for Shoebox's absence this time. (all the other
times, who knows?) Jeffie said that he had glued Shoebox to his seat, and
that he was still stuck there. Jeffie then went on to say that he had a fun
surprise coming up for Lance...He said that they were going to have lots of
fun with glue. A few minutes later Joe tried to take a call from Jeffie but
there was no sound on the phone (either because Joe is too old and senile to
use a phone correctly, or because Jeffie is too stupid to place a phone call
correctly, or, most likely, both.) But, a few more minutes later, Joe was on
the phone again, saying that Jeffie had promised that he would be on the
phone. Now then, why would Joe even try to take a promised call from Jeffie?
Once again, must be senility. At first there was again no sound...Then,
Lance's voice was heard sounding far away and saying that he needed help..
Jeffie also could be heard laughing. It took a minute to determine what was
going on but it did not sound good for Lance. Then the details emerged. It
seems that they were upstairs (I don't know how Jeffie actually managed to
get upstairs. Perhaps the strange force that prevented him from reaching the
top of the stairs has finally weakened or gone, but, at any rate, that's
where they were) and Jeffie had glued Lance to a chair and he was stuck
there. Joe and Rick went to help. In the attempts to free Lance, Lance's
pants got ripped off. Then Jeffie decided that since Lance was pantless, he
would remove his pants as well. Which he did to everyone's great dismay. The
next talk break, Lance had found a pair of pants to put on, but Jeffie,
unfortunately, was still without his. After having impersonated Rick last
week, this time Jeffie claimed he was Joe for a bit, using some of his words
and phrases and making cracks about being old. Then he was Jeffie again and
was trying to get Joe's cell phone again (even though he was not wearing
pants to put it into.) Joe turned the phone off, but Jeffie did manage to
get it, but could not figure out how to turn it on so it could vibrate. The
next break Jeffie somehow managed to glue Joe to a chair. In trying to free
himself, Joe ripped his pants badly as well. There were actually more
pantsless people there than there ever were on any No Pants holiday which
was only ever observed by Jeffie. Then at the final talk break, Jeffie
somehow managed to trick Lance into sitting down on a chair which he had
covered with glue again..Then Joe glued Jeffie to a chair (as Jeffie was
still not wearing pants, it was skin to chair.) Then Joe also sat down on a
chair that had been, you guessed it, also covered in glue..So, now everyone
(although Rick was most definitely there, he left early and thus was spared
being glued and de-panted) was stuck fast. In his attempts to wrench himself
free, (not apparently caring if he ripped all his skin off..Although his
ripped off parts regenerate quickly, so maybe that's why), Jeffie got his
chair tipped over on top of him, and was trapped..He wanted help but Joe and
Lance were too busy trying to free themselves, not that they would've helped
him anyways. No one knew what to do now..So, maybe they all spent the week
stuck there, although, just as they were going off the air, Joe gave one
more mighty effort...There was another ripping sound, and Lance said "Joe,
are you free?". But that was the last thing that was said by anyone, so, who
knows? We shall have to wait and hear how they all made out...

On The Last Exit: Co-host David was once more, not present. However, I doubt
if anyone noticed as everyone else in the world, was there. Well, ok, not
quite, but it seemed like it..Just Joe was there as was some new person
named (I think) Fritz..Forgive me person, if I didn't get your name! And the
entire line-up of two bands which totaled about ten more bodies..Plus
Stephanie, who represents the band Dope Stars Inc. also called DSI, (she who
beat Just Joe with her shoes a few weeks back) and Vicki, one of the members
of DSI, also dropped by..And Gorgar finally showed back up again after
having been gone for about a month..So, as you can see, it was quite
possibly the most crowded show ever..And also one of the craziest, weirdest,
and most chaos filled which is really saying a lot I know..The bands were
The Pushrods and River chicken..Both of them performed many acoustic
songs..And River Chicken brought along and performed on both bongos and
banjos! In fact, one long banjo performance would've made you think that
maybe you had actually tuned in a bit late, and were listening to The Salt
Creek Show instead of the Metallic Last exit. :) It was all very funny,
entertaining, and very cool. one of the members of River Chicken made up and
performed an impromptu song with someone else accompanying him. Just what
they were saying, though, is anybody's guess. :) Also, after just Joe's
adventure last week (being sent out for a walk covered in stickers), they
decided to send him out again...This time in the giant pants again. It was
decided that Crow (the drummer for the Pushrods) would be his companion.
So, they got in the pants and off they went..And we learned from Just Joe
when they returned, that although apparently girls love you when you're
covered in stickers, they apparently do not like you when you are in a giant
pair of pants..Go figure that out! We live in a strange world! It was also
by far the most exciting Gorgar's corner ever..I know that's hard to believe
given how exciting and action packed Gorgar's Corner always is, but this
week it was truly something..Everyone there (about 15 people) All started
shouting and chanting "Gor-gar! Gor-gar! Gor-gar!" This went on for a long
time and was so loud that Gorgar had to shout to give his pick of the week,
and was still nearly drowned out. Then they all started doing the "Gor-gar!"
chant every time Gorgar said anything. And there were beat downs and
violence too, of course..Some of them were directed on the bassist for the
Pushrods (who was wearing a weird bright orange hat and kept misbehaving and
provoking beatings.) There was other violence among various people all night
long..Truly a show to remember! The bands were all awesome! A unique show in
lots of ways. Well, they are all unique, but this one was, I think, one of
the most chaotic, neat, weird and different ones...And, after all that
excitement, the crew will probably be taking a week off (the first time in
ten years, and well deserved) to attend the Monster Magnet concert..(and,
probably to recuperate from this show as well.) :) So, they will be
re-airing what they thought would be the last show ever..Last show because
the world was supposed to end (which it didn't, of course, because the late
Zoltan screwed up Armageddon), the Armageddon show from May 12th 2002. This
was another extremely crowded, chaos filled hilarious show...And features
Shoebox's first ever appearance on The Last exit (and before he was a
co-host on The Metallic Onslaught as well, so it was our first introduction
to him) as well as some famous characters from the past, the late, not so
great, and unlamented Zoltan, Vern (also not missed), and Timmy The Prophet
Of Doom..It was a wild, great, show, and will be fun to hear again...

****************************************************************

So, yeah, The Metallic Onslaught tonight should be crazy. No comment on
what is planned, you will just have to tune in and see... Um, hear...

Monster Magnet cancelled for Saturday, but Torsos from Space, Bongzilla, and
Bully are still playing, so the plan is still the same, we will be going to
see Bully, and you will be hearing a show from May 12, 2002. Enjoy...
_________________________________________________

WORM QUARTET UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 9/18/04

Hello, my ultra-spiffy ever-flatulent group 'o' fans!
You're all such CUTE widdle WQ fans! Yes you ARE!
Yes you ARE!!! Awwww...wook at you!! You're just
Adowable!!!

*ahem*

Sorry.

WORM QUARTET SHOW NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm returning to Ithaca *THIS COMING MONDAY* and
rocking Syracuse shortly thereafter!! These are
my last two shows of the year due to my impending
fatherhood, so if you miss them, you'll hate
yourself forever and everybody else will hate you
too, but for different reasons involving
mayonnaise and a stick!

--

Monday, September 20th @ Castaways in Ithaca, NY

THE VIBRATORS (Yes, the 70's punk band!)
BLACK LABELED
WORM QUARTET
RIVER CHICKEN

$6, 9pm.

http://www.castawaysithaca.com for more info

--

Saturday, October 9th @ the Half Penny Pub in
Syracuse, NY

THE LATE PROPHETS
UNDERGANG
CREEPJOINT
WORM QUARTET

More info soon!

If anyone wants to book Worm Quartet somewhere
before October 15th, then dammit, let me know as
soon as ya can!

SHOEBOX ON THE RADIO NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
For the last several weeks I've been co-hosting
"Friggin' Here," Rochester's greatest (read "only")
comedy music show!

Tune in to WITR 89.7 FM every stinkin' Saturday
from 12pm-2pm and check it out, dammit!!
For those of you who don't live in Rochester, you
can listen online at www.modernmusicandmore.com

And yes, I'll be on today!

WORM QUARTET ON DR. DEMENTO AGAIN NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Pac-Man Is Naked And So Should You" finally makes
its debut on the Dr. Demento show this weekend, so
to those of you who saw my Pac-Man segment and
decided this song needed some attention, thanks!!
(And thanks to The Great Luke Ski, who encouraged
people to do this! Luke, your nipples are made
entirely of margarine. I'm gonna mail you a DRYER
SHEET!)

"Great Idea for a Song" also returns to the Funny
Five this week, coming in at #3!! And that brings
me to...

PATHETIC PLEA FOR REQUESTS NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
If you haven't been paying attention, "Great Idea
for a Song" is in the running for the most requested
song of the year on the Dr. Demento show! It's an
INCREDIBLY close race this year, so if any of you
love me, then dammit, REQUEST MY FRIGGIN' SONG!!

All you gotta do is go here:
http://www.clamhead.com/drdrequest.php

If'n you wanna listen to Dr. Demento (which you sure
as hell should, since there's a lot of brilliant new
comedy music out there that's definitely worth checking
out,) there's a list of stations that carry it here:
http://mypage.iu.edu/~jbmorris/FAQ/stations.html

And a list of stations that carry it AND broadcast
online here:
http://www.krellan.com/demento/

Remember, helping Worm Quartet makes your nipples
shiny!


ANOTHER FRIGGIN' COLLABORATION NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I recently co-wrote a song with Devo Spice of Sudden
Death! I'll be taking a shot at recording some vocals
for that this weekend (hopefully,) and it'll be on his
next album (which is going to kick more ass than a...
than a...than a thing that kicks a lot of ass but not
quite as much ass as this album will! The new songs
I've heard from the album are amazing.)

BROTHER WEASE NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
For some reason I was on the Brother Wease show
yesterday on WCMF (probably Rochester's biggest classic
rock station,) which was an interesting experience.
Not sure that's gonna sell me any CDs, since his target
audience generally differs from the freaks that like my
stuff, but he played a few ADD-length clips of my songs
and gave me a couple of gift certificates for local
restaurants. I need a "Will Rock For Food" sign.

ODOR NEWS
=-=-=-=-=
You don't wanna know. Let's just say lactose
intolerance isn't always quite as glamorous as
Hollywood makes it out to be.

VH-1 APPEARANCE NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
My appearance on VH1's "Totally Obsessed" happened and
came out pretty friggin' amusing! They edited out any
reference to Worm Quartet or my First Church of Pac-Man
website for some reason, and invented a few bogus
"factoids" to make me look scarier (why this is
necessary I have no idea,) but I've still gotten good
feedback on the segment, so YAAAAAY!

The episode has been re-run a bunch of times, and will
be on again Wednesday, September 22, at 11:00 am for
some reason.

That's it, dammit! You all deserve nostril massages for
reading this far! Thanks as always for your support...
hope to see some of you at the Ithaca show Monday!!

Sitting on a pile of Special K is even more satisfying
than popping bubble wrap,
-=ShoEboX=-

--
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
________________________________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: September 19, 2004
(R) = Requested

Background: Archon Satani "Virgin Birth (Born Again)

Amenta "Erebus"
Crisis "Omen / Waking the Dead"
Lamb of God "Now You've Got Something to Die For" (R)
Stormlord "Dance of Hecate"
Via Mystica "Deadly Lullabye"
Nocturne "Dissolute (Etulossid Murder Mix by Defragmentation)"
Ludicra "One Thousand Wolves"
Annihilator "Rage Absolute"
Amon Amarth "The Pursuit of Vikings"
WASP "The Last Redemption" (R)
King Diamond "Eye of the Witch - Live"
John 5 "Feisty Cadavers"
The Plankboys "Bottle of a Bottle" (R)
Malady "The World is a Tomb"
Worm Quartet "Great Idea for a Song / Let's Make Fun of the Amish"
Megadeth "Back in the Day"
Leaves' Eyes "Ocean's Way" (R)
The Pushrods "You're Lucky I Don't Own a Gun"
River Chicken "Dum"
Atrocity "Superior Race"
The Pushrods "Liar"
Caliban "Certainty... Corpses"
Pile of Heads "The Art of Suffering"
InRed "Paparazzi"
River Chicken "Sharxxx"
Dope Stars Inc. "Overdriven"
Burning Skies "Murder By Means of Existence"
Dissonant "Charles Bronson was Great in Death Wish 5"
Shadowbuilder "Silver and Black"
The Pushrods "Stalker"
Therion "An Arrow from the Sun"
Only Crime "Real Enemy"
Dio "Shivers"
Type "O" Negative "Cinnamon Girl" (R)
Mythologic "Flash of Red"
Sopor Aeturnus and the Ensemble of Shadows "Beyond the Wall of Sleep"
Faith and the Muse "Mesmerism"
Rhapsody "Dragonland's River"
Worm Quartet "Strap-On Brain"
River Chickens "V5"
Autumn "Who Has Seen Her Wave Her Hand"
Bang Tango "It Ain't Easy"
Motortramp "Rock and Roll"
Chastain "Rule the World"
Malteze "Hell Walks Laughing"
Demonoid "Firestorms"
Autumn Offering "Revelations of the Unsung"
Ephal Duath "The Picture (Bordeaux)"
Green Carnation "Crushed to Dust (Acoustic)"
Deadsoil "Demons Hands"

Feature Artist: Monster Magnet...
________________________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS


Fri, Sept 24: Bully, Boiler, Brand New Sin, and Clutch at The Country Club,
Syracuse

Fri, Sept 24: King Snyder, Dog Fashion Disco, Bonejar, and Oddzar at The
Cavern, Elmira Heights

Sat, Sept 25: NWA Upstate Wrestling at The Ukranian Club, Webster
(www.kayfabedojo.com)

Mon, Sept 27: Action Action at The Record Archive, Rochester (free show)

Wed, Sept 29: Crisis, Otep, and Kittie at The Continental, Buffalo

Fri, Oct 1: Shadows Fall, All That Remains, and Candiria at The Club at
Water Street, Rochester

Fri, Oct 1: Never The Sunshine and From These Ashes at The Gas Light,
Wellsboro, PA

Fri, Oct 1: The Insane Clown Posse, Mushroomhead, Mack-10, and Anybody Killa
at The Dome Theater, Niagara Falls

Thurs, Oct 7: If Man is Five, G-Men, The Pushrods, and Black Labeled at
Castaways, Ithaca

Fri, Oct 8: If Man is 5, G-Men, and Black Labeled in Binghamton

Sat, Oct 9: Worm Quartet, Undergang, Creepjoint, and The Last Prophets at
The Half Penny Pub, Syracuse

Sat, Oct 9: George Lynch at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sun, Oct 10: Haunted by Angels, with Naked Beggars (Jeff Labar & Eric
Brittingham of Cinderella), and Balistica at DON HILL'S, 511 Greenwich St.
at Spring St., New York City - $10

Wed, Oct 13: Fu Manchu at The Continental, Buffalo

Sat, Oct 16: Never The Sunshine and From These Ashes at The Savoy, Watkins
Glen

Sat, Oct 16: Madball at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, Oct 16: Haunted by Angels and Enertia (CD Release Party) at The Upper
Deck, 122 W. Fulton St. Gloversville, NY (10pm - 21+ admitted - 518-725-0010
for info)

Sat, Oct 23: The 4th Annual Moshtoberfest, The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, Oct 23: Haunted by Angels and DisplaceD at The Continental, Buffalo

Wed, Oct 27: The Pushrods at O'Brians Pub, Boston, MA

Fri, Oct 29,30: Lady Fest East - New York City, with If Man is 5, The
Butchies and Le Tigre, more info tba.

Sun, Oct 31: KMFDM at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

Sun, Nov 7: GWAR, Dying Fetus, and All That Remains at The Water Street
Music Hall, Rochester

Thurs, Nov 11: Rantmusic at The Nines, Ithaca

Tues, Nov 23: Dope, Motograter, and Twisted Method at The Penny Arcade,
Rochester

Fri, Nov 26: If Man Is Five CD Release Party at Black Azul 7 Main St. 3rd
Flr, Binghamton NY. 8pm, Free admission, food, and drinks.

Mon, Nov 29: Goatwhore and Misery at The Penny Arcade, Rochester
_________________________________________________________________________

+----------------- More Bizarre U.S. Laws -----------------+

Nevada:

In Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more
than three people other than himself at any one period
during the day.

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kiss-
ing women.

Everyone walking on the streets of Elko is required to wear
a mask.


New Jersey:

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless
the customer has a note from his doctor.

It is illegal to slurp soup.

In Trenton, it is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street.


Rhode Island:

In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a tooth-
brush to the same customer on a Sunday.

It is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.
____________________________________________________

------------------- Hey, Get a Room! -----------------------

BERLIN - When you go out to shop, what do you expect to
see? Stores, parking lots, shoppers and sales people are
just a few sights that come to mind. Well, how about someone
having sex with a blow-up doll? A man was caught doing just
that in a very busy and very public shopping center.
When unsuspecting shoppers noticed the man's trousers were
down they alerted the police. The 38-year-old man had to
be physically removed from his inflatable companion and
taken into police custody. "It was real, he was caught in
mid-action with the doll," according to a press spokes-
woman. Police said that removing the man from his rubber
mate was quite a task. Hey, can't you see this guy is in
love? Either that, or just really intoxicated...
_____________________________________________________

--------------- Caught In A Dangerous Web -----------------

SYDNEY, Australia - Prison inmates in Australia are getting
desperate for a little reprieve from the everyday bore of
prison life. As a result, they have been engaging in a
strange, not to mention dangerous, hobby. According to
government records, the prisoners have been breeding deadly
spiders, milking them for venom and injecting the poison to
get high. Four redback spiders were discovered by author-
ities in a maximum security jail in New South Wales. The
spiders, common in Australia, can kill a child or an older
person with just one bite. Officials say the inmates had
been diluting the venom before shooting up. This information
was revealed by lawmakers who are opposed to the Labor-led
government in South Wales.
_____________________________________________________

--- "Dog Bites Man" Isn't News, But "Dog Shoots Man" Is! ---

PENSACOLA, Florida - A puppy got his revenge on a Pensacola
man who was trying to shoot the litter by getting his paw on
the trigger and accidentally shooting back. Jerry Allen
Bradford, 37, was shot in the wrist by the puppy with his
own .38-caliber revolver. Three of the seven German Shepherd-
mix puppies were found in a shallow grave outside Bradford's
home. The other four were seized by Escambia County animal
control officers. Bradford told deputies he was unable to
sell or give the puppies away so he decided to kill them.
The sheriff's report said he was holding one of the puppies
in his left hand and had another in his arms when the one
in his palm managed to put its paw on the trigger, dis-
charging the gun. He faces animal cruelty charges for the
shootings and was being treated for his wound at a Pensa-
cola hospital.
___________________________________________________

FROM THE ONION

Bush Campaign More Thought Out Than Iraq War
WASHINGTON, DC—Military and political strategists agreed Monday that
President Bush's re-election campaign has been executed with greater
precision than the war in Iraq. "Judging from the initial misrepresentation
of intelligence data and the ongoing crisis in Najaf, I assumed the
president didn't know his ass from his elbow," said Col. Dale Henderson, a
military advisor during the Reagan Administration. "But on the campaign
trail, he's proven himself a master of long-term planning and unflinching
determination. How else can you explain his strength in the polls given this
economy?" Henderson said he regrets having characterized Bush's handling of
the war as "incompetent," now that he knows the president's mind was simply
otherwise occupied.
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...