The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - October 22, 20004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught: As was stated previously, there would not be and
was not a Metallic Onslaught last week... So, be sure to tune in this week
for the season premiere to see what craziness will ensue...

On The Last Exit: Co-host David got smart enough to leave New Jersey where
he had been the week before and was at the show along with Pat, the
guitarist for their band Lotus Project... They were interviewed about their
band and talked about the exciting news of their show Thursday October 21st
at the Haunt in Ithaca... A lot of their music was played on LE last week as
well. And, they finally have a web site up (after an eternity, it is finally
here!), www.lotusproject.net so, go check that out. They got asked many of
those crazy questions from www.theinsanedomain.com while they were there and
they gave silly answers. Also present on the show this week were Just Joe,
Fritz, and Gorgar... While David and Pat were there, Just Joe got a couple
relatively minor beat downs (as compared to the ones he's gotten the past
couple weeks) for acting annoying...Later in the night it was time for
Gorgar's Corner.. Gorgar was asked how his week had gone and how he
was...Now, Gorgar must be getting so old that senility is setting in,
because he was foolish enough to say that things had gone fine and he was
good... Which ensured that they would see to it that that would not be
allowed to stand (or else he, and all of us will be struck down by a
meteor). First Azkath gave him 3 brutal shots with a steel chair... Gorgar
protested this treatment... Then they sicked Just Joe on him, and that made
Gorgar beg for the steel chair to be used again instead... Just Joe kept
hugging Gorgar, trying to sit on his lap, and trying to cuddle with him, and
generally molesting him (Just Joe, it seems, is much like Jeffie and Friend
in this kind of behavior, can you imagine what it would be like if the 3 of
them ever got together! AHHH! The Horror! Truly the stuff of nightmares!)
Just Joe and Gorgar struggled and both wound up on the floor. After awhile
Gorgar finally managed to get free, and then got one more brutal chair shot
from Azkath.. Followed by a bit more abuse from Just Joe.. Ya think next
time, when he's asked how things are going, Gorgar will know enough to say
"terrible!" no matter what??? You would think that would be obvious, but,
then again, I was sure he already knew that but apparently not... If he
doesn't know it now, then he never will... And thus went The Last Exit For
last week...

*****************************************************************
Info from Azkath...

Ok, so Lotus Project played their first completely public show last night at
The Haunt. They did well, and Chris seems like he had the vocals and
drumming thing down quite well. 50 Minute set, they rocked.
www.LotusProject.net. They will be on our, unfortunately STILL tentative
show on the 21st at Castaways. Hopefully within the week I will be able to
say definitely, still, however, waiting to hear back on a couple things.
Soon. Dammit. Soon. :)

As for Shoebox. Um, last I knew, Steve had not arrived. Maybe he is here
now, maybe not, who knows. Shoebox has been rather quiet the last day or
so, so maybe that means he's in labor... Anyways, go to www.wormquartet,com
anyways, and request him on Dr. Demento...

Metallic Onslaught this week, well, was supposed to be their season
premiere. In line with this, I was to make them new intros and stuff, which,
I, um, did not do. So, I guess it will be up to them if this is the premiere
or just a Special show of some sorts till I can remember when what is and
what needs to be done by then. I do believe the Pretty Princess will be
there, though...

For The Last Exit... Well, I will not say much. We may have a special
guest. Maybe not. Maybe various special guests. Maybe not. If anything
happens, it should be rather amusing, if not, well it will still be a damned
good show as usual, I hope. And next week will be our annual Tribute to the
Past show, where we actually have 7 hours. That should be fun. If you have
anything rare you want to request I suggest to call this week or e-mail us
at lastexit@... so I have time to track stuff down...

Oh, yeah, and hey fuckers, add us on MySpace.com at
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/693265. Dammit. That site rules...
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For Immediate Release:

The Ferocious GWAR Unleashes Its War Party Upon The American Masses on
October 26th Through DRT Entertainment
Official North American “Mock The Vote” Campaign Embarking Day-Of-Release

Like a classic Mongol invasion, the insurmountable GWAR returns to America
from an extended Antarctican exile to shake the foundations of the 2004
Presidential Election with their recently appointed bid, War Party. The
Campaign trail, kicking off on October 26th and sponsored by DRT
Entertainment (who support the likes of Lit, Clutch, Fu Manchu, and Edwin
McCain), GWAR is primed to turn the electoral proceedings on its head.
Armed with Campaign slogans like “Bring Back The Bomb,” “Krosstika,” “The
Reaganator,” and “You Can’t Kill Terror”, GWAR is sure to secure the
majority Independent Vote.

When approached for comment on why GWAR has chosen to run, spokesman/
Supreme Overlord Oderus Urungus offered his impression on the current state
of our country: “Complete Anarchy, disorder, crime, the elite occupying
their 1% position on the $&@#heap. We plan to invert this $&@#heap and
burrow to the top!”

GWAR, an axe-wielding counter-political organization currently consisting of
delegates Urungus, Balsac The Jaws Of Death, Jizmak The Gusha, Flattus
Maximus, and Beefcake The Mighty is embroiled by the degradation of the
nation, and plans to take full advantage of this opportunity.

Complete details of GWAR’s campaign intent can be found at this
bacterial-encrusted viral player/e-card, which includes numerous campaign
slogans, visual propaganda and other pertinent campaigning material:
http://www.hyfntrak.com/gwar/fromafriend/

Urungus continues, “Our main priority is to crucify all remaining
politicians, sack the Senate, rape the Congress, and abolish all laws. It
will be a yearlong orgy of raping and crucifying of old men up and down the
Mall in Washington, DC. We would set fire to their golf clubs, and on the
flayed skin of their backs, we will compose a new Constitution of disorder,
signed in fecal matter!”

When asked what politicians are most deserving of GWAR’s attention, Oderus
puts it succinctly, “To elevate one to a particular point of suffering above
another would be to imply that there was something special about any of
them, and I don’t want to do that. We’re going to take members of your
culture that we deem offensive or admirable and put them to death in various
horrible ways to the soundtrack of blazing heavy metal.” One can only
assume that the likes of Mr. GW Bush, Osama Bin-Laden, and Senator John
Kerry will be making guest appearances on GWAR’s campaign tour. Oderus did
point out that California “Governator” Arnold Schwarzenegger has joined the
War Party and will be touring with GWAR as a special guest.

Issues on the organization’s platform include pro-abortion, same-sex animal
marriage, and indiscriminate execution for all. GWAR also supports the
rights of America’s youth. Oderus explains, “I firmly believe that if you
can take young people, ship them halfway around the world, give them
multi-million dollar weapon systems to play with, then they SHOULD be able
to buy beer…and vote!”

And his response to solving the crisis in the Middle East, he states, “You
can’t give something to a people, especially if they don’t want it. America
is missing the entire point here. The War Party knows exactly what to do.
To solve this whole problem in the Middle East is to nuke Mecca! We feel no
discrimination in our plan to destroy everyone: the Islams, the Americans,
the powemad Zionists. They’re all gonna die and joined together in some
giant, blazing nuclear fireball at some point, and we’re just trying to
hasten that destiny, so we can get on with what will happen afterwards.”

Therefore, who has the best odds of winning the 2004 Presidential Election?
Bush. Kerry. Nader. Neither! ODERUS!!!

Catch GWAR on their unequivocal War Party “Mock The Vote” Tour throughout
autumn:

Tue, Oct 26 Norfolk, VA The NorVa
Wed, Oct 27 New York, NY Spirit Performance Center
Thu, Oct 28 Latham, NY Saratoga Winners
Fri, Oct 29 Worcester, MA Palladium
Sat, Oct 30 Portland, ME The State Theater
Sun, Oct 31 Philadelphia, PA Electric Factory
Tue, Nov 2 Montreal, QC, Can. Club Soda
Wed, Nov 3 Ottawa, ON, Can. Capital Music Hall
Thu, Nov 4 Toronto, ON, Can. Opera House
Fri, Nov 5 Detroit, MI Harpo's
Sat, Nov 6 Millvale, PA Mr. Small's Theatre
Sun, Nov 7 Rochester, NY Water Street Music Hall
Mon, Nov 8 State College, PA Crowbar
Wed, Nov 10 Cleveland, OH The Odeon
Thu, Nov 11 Chicago, IL House of Blues
Fri, Nov 12 Urbana, IL Canopy Club
Sat, Nov 13 Sauget, IL Pop's
Sun, Nov 14 Colombus, OH Newport Music Hall
Mon, Nov 15 Milwaukee, WI The Eagles Club
Tue, Nov 16 Cinncinnati, OH Bogart's
Fri, Nov 19 Minneapolis, MN First Avenue
Sat, Nov 20 Winnipeg, MB, Can. "Pyramid Cabaret
Sun, Nov 21 Saskatoon, SK, Can. The Roxy on Broadway
Mon, Nov 22 Edmonton, AB, Can. Red's Entertainment Complex
Tue, Nov 23 Calgary, AB, Can. University of Calgary
Wed, Nov 24 Vancouver, BC, Can. Commodore Ballroom
Thu, Nov 25 Victoria, BC, Can. Sugar Night Club
Fri, Nov 26 Seattle, WA Premier
Sat, Nov 27 Portland, OR Roseland Theater
Sun, Nov 28 Petaluma, CA Phoenix Theater
Mon, Nov 29 San Francisco, CA DNA Lounge
Wed, Dec 1 Tempe, AZ Marquee Theater
Thu, Dec 2 Santa Ana, CA Galaxy
Fri, Dec 3 West Hollywood, CA Key Club
Sat, Dec 4 Chico, CA The Senator Theatre
Sun, Dec 5 Bend, OR The Midtown
Tue, Dec 7 Salt Lake City, UT Lo-Fi Cafe
Wed, Dec 8 Denver, CO Ogden Theatre
Thu, Dec 9 Albuquerque, NM Sunshine Theater
Fri, Dec 10 Oklahoma City, OK Diamond Ballroom
Sat, Dec 11 Springfield, MO Rockwell
Sun, Dec 12 Dallas, TX Trees
Tue, Dec 14 Houston, TX Engine Room
Wed, Dec 15 New Orleans, LA House of Blues
Fri, Dec 17 Lake Buena Vista, FL House of Blues
Sat, Dec 18 Fort Lauderdale, FL Culture Room
Sun, Dec 19 Tampa, FL Masquerade
Mon, Dec 20 Atlanta, GA Masquerade
Tue, Dec 21 N. Myrtle Beach, SC House of Blues Myrtle Beach

www.drt-entertainment.com
www.gwar.net
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SHOW LISTINGS

Sat, Oct 23: The 4th Annual Moshtoberfest, featuring Boiler, King Snyder,
Tung, Bone Jar, and more at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, Oct 23: Haunted by Angels, Stemm, Undefinied, and Resperate, and Rachel
’s Dead at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Wed, Oct 27: The Pushrods at O'Brians Pub, Boston, MA

Fri, Oct 29,30: Lady Fest East - New York City, with If Man is 5, The
Butchies and Le Tigre, more info tba.

Sat, Oct 30: Crappy the Clown at Reflections Martini Bar & Lounge, Syracuse

Sat, Oct 30: Haunted by Angels at the All Hallows Eve Masquerade Bash, 501
West Club in Elmira

Sun, Oct 31: U.K. Subs, The Mofos, The Witching, Murder Squad TO, The
Others, and Timur Lenk at Castaways, Ithaca

Sun, Oct 31: KMFDM at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

Sun, Nov 7: GWAR, Dying Fetus, and All That Remains at The Water Street
Music Hall, Rochester

Mon, Nov 8: Atreyu, Taking Back Sunday, and Funeral for a Friend at The
Harrow East Theater, Rochester

Thurs, Nov 11: Rantmusic at The Nines, Ithaca

Sat, Nov 20: Robot Goes Here (Electronic punkhardcore) @ Tammany, Risley
Hall Cornell N Campus, Ithaca - 10:45pm, Free

Mon, Nov 22: Marathon (Rochester punkrock heroes), Fire When Ready (Loud
Indie from Vestal),
Timur Lenk (Heavy goodness), and Robot Goes Here (Electronic punkhardcore) @
The Lost Dog Cafe, Ithaca - 7 PM

Tues, Nov 23: Dope, Motograter, and Twisted Method at The Penny Arcade,
Rochester

Fri, Nov 26: If Man Is Five CD Release Party at Black Azul 7 Main St. 3rd
Flr, Binghamton NY. 8pm, Free admission, food, and drinks.

Fri, Nov 26: Ministry, Thrill Kill Kult, and Hanzel and Gretyl at The Water
Street Music Hall, Rochester

Sun, Nov 28: Haunted by Angels and Bella Morte at The Haunt, Ithaca

Mon, Nov 29: Goatwhore and Misery Index at The Penny Arcade, Rochester
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: October 17, 2004
(R) = Requested

Background: Steve Roach and Jeffery Fayman "Trance Spirits"

Divinity Destroyed "Divinity Destroyed"
Pile of Heads "The Bomb"
3 Inches of Blood "Premonition of War"
Catamenia "The Storm"
Lotus Project "Bleed"
GWAR "Bring Back the Bomb"
Anvil of Doom "Forgotten Embryos"
Graveworm "Christian Woman"
Bal Sagoth "Behold, the Armies of War Descend Screaming from the Heavens"
(R)
Lotus Project "Storm"
Cans "Back to Hell"
Fear Factory "Archetype - Live" (R)
Laibach "The Final Countdown" (R)
Worm Quartet "What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like" (R)
Lotus Project "Nelumo Lucifera"
The Pushrods "You're Lucky I Don't Own a Gun"
Dope Stars Inc. "Oversriven"
William Shatner "I Can't Get Behind That"
Lilitu "Desolation Breeds"
Lotus Project "Burning Alive"
Savatage "One Child" (R)
Jon Oliva's Pain "People Say - Gimme Some Hell"
Chris Caffery "Bag O'Bones"
Twisted Sister "We're Not Gonna Take It"
Defekt "We're Not Gonna Take It"
Pile of Heads "Perfect Way to Die"
Samael "High Above"
Black Labeled "New American War"
Strung Out "Analog"
If Man is Five "Azreala - Acoustic"
Incantation "Oath of Armageddon"
Goatwhore "As the Sun Turns to Ash"
Acid Bath "Cassie Eats Cockroaches"
GWAR "You Can't Kill Terror"
With or Without You "The Song That Made the World Hate Me"
Motortramp "Stop"
Redezra "Smoke Screen"
Pig Destroyer "Gravedancer"
The Minor Times "The Eye in the Sky / The King is Very Dead"
Jag Panzer "Cold"
Diecast "Seize the Day"
Scum of the Earth "The Devil Made Me Do It"

Feature Artist: Overkill...
____________________________________________________

TOP STRANGE STORIES OF THE WEEK

--------------- 'But I Was Sleeping, Honey!' ---------------

CANBERRA, Australia - If you're cheating on your spouse and
get caught, you could use this as your alibi. Apparently, an
Australian doctor has diagnosed one of his patients as
having a disorder that leads her to have sex with strangers
while she sleeps. According to the doctor, the woman would
later not remember her activities. It wasn't until her
partner woke up, noticed she was missing from the bed, and
found her having sex with another man that she realized what
she was doing. The doctor tells an Australian radio station
that "people are often stunned and overwhelmed" when they
find out what's been happening. He is concerned that those
with the disorder might not seek professional help because
they are embarrassed and fear that partners and doctors won't
really believe they were sleeping.
____________________________________________________

* California's Budget Crisis, Explained: In August, the state
legislature reached a compromise in a longstanding, intensely-
debated issue with the state's owners of pet ferrets. Though the
animals are banned by the state as crop menaces, the legislation
would grant legal status to all existing pet ferrets whose owners
pay a $75 per head fee. However, even though the state
desperately needs the revenue, the money raised cannot be used for
anything except a study to determine whether the state can tolerate
more ferrets. [Los Angeles Times, 8-27-04]
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* Heavy rains around Dunn, N.C., in mid-August pounded soap-
based runoff from the H&H Products facility just off U.S. 301,
creating an awesome wall of white bubbles at least 20 feet high
that obscured not only Jonesboro Road but the telephone poles
alongside. A few drivers tried to go through the mess, but most
avoided it until firefighters cleared out the foam to the side of the
road with their hoses. [Daily Record (Dunn), 8-17-04]
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People With Issues

* (1) Michael J. Sterkins, 51, was arrested in Lockport, La., in July
and charged as the man who, in five incidents, grabbed girls and
women in cemeteries and cut off their ponytails. (One ponytail
was recovered from his home, with the ends glued, placed
underneath the Bible at his bedside.) (2) Among the evidence
found in a search of Sung Koo Kim's home in Tigard, Ore., in June
(Kim is a suspect in the disappearance of a female Brigham Young
University student): 1,000 pairs of women's underwear, bagged,
with some labeled as to which college dorm and woman it came
from, and bags of clothes-dryer lint, labeled as to the campus
laundry room of origin. [Daily Comet (Houma, La.), 7-14-04]
[WTOP Radio-AP, 6-22-04]
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Least Competent Criminals

* At an August hearing in Calgary, Alberta, in which four
prostitutes testified against a 17-year-old male customer who had
allegedly committed post-sex armed robbery against them, one of
the four described the incident that eventually led to the youth's
capture. While the boy held a dagger to the woman's chest and
rummaged through her purse, he came upon her recent eviction
notice, prompting him to ask her if she would like to rent the
basement apartment in his home (and he gave her his phone
number). [Calgary Herald, 8-12-04, 8-13-04]
__________________________________________________

O A study on asexuality released by Anthony Bogaert (Brock
Univ., St. Catherine's, Ontario) put the percentage of adherents at
1, i.e., those who "never felt sexually attracted to anyone at all." A
1994 study found that 13 percent hadn't had sex in the last year and
that 40 percent of those people said they were nonetheless very
happy. New Scientist, relating Bogaert's work, said it "won't be
long before the issue of 'A' pride starts attracting more attention."
There's already a t-shirt: "Asexuality: It's Not Just for Amoebas
Anymore."
___________________________________________________

O It might just be the inexpert animal ID skills of Lufkin, Tex.,
veterinarians, but so far, Yr Editor takes their word for it that the
animal that turned up last week was made-to-order for the X Files:
hairless, blue-gray skin, an overbite, 4 huge canine teeth, a long
and rat-like tail, claws too long to be a dog's, front legs much
smaller than hind legs, an ear that broke off "like a cookie," and
virtually no blood when it was shot. Lufkin Daily News (via
WOAI, San Antonio)
__________________________________________________

O Physics professor Louis Houston of the Univ. of Louisiana,
Lafayette, apparently totally lost it on Wednesday morning (Oct.
13). No explanation has yet been reported, but according to his
class, he slammed the door, ID'd himself as God, yelled
"[cheney*] you" a few times, wrote "9/11 = Now" on the board,
told the class that "we" are all dead and a crying woman that "this
is the best it's ever gonna get." [*Ed.: Yr Editor often uses
euphemisms for bad words in order to defeat sensitive-content e-
mail filters, and this one is in honor of the Vice President's run-in
with Sen. Leahy several months ago.]
___________________________________________________

O Convicted drug dealer Colin Hancock, serving time in
Scotland's Perth Prison, sued a former prison doctor for improperly
administering a rectal exam (note: Hancock had been unable to
pass urine) using only the "lubricant" of milk, from a bowl of
porridge. The doctor said it was the best he could do at the time.
______________________________________________________

O Local "adult boutique" operator Katherine Williams set up a
booth at the Spring Hill, Tenn., Library's fund-raising flea market
but was quickly disinvited because, in addition to some innocuous
scents and lubricants, she featured a vibrating duck bath sponge,
about 12 inches by 8 inches by 6 inches, and apparently officials
put Williams's store's name (Passions & Pleasures) together with
the word "vibrating" and kicked her out (even though the size of
the duck makes it almost exclusively a children's toy instead of a
you-know-what).
____________________________________________________

O Mr. Bashiro O. Evans, 33, a registered sex offender in Illinois,
was arrested at a Kinko's in Chicago when a clerk ratted him out
after Evans asked for help printing out his child porn computer
files.
______________________________________________________

O Jerome Young, 41, who is known to pro wrestling fans (such as
Yr Editor) as New Jack, was arrested in Jacksonville, Fla., and for
us fans, it's an easy guess as to why. He got carried away in an
"extreme hard-core" match (that's way harder core than World
Wrestling Entertainment hard-core) and stabbed his opponent
repeatedly with a hunk of metal. [Ed.: But that's his shtick. His
probable defense will be that he thought he cleared it sufficiently
with his opponent before the match and was just giving fans what
they expected to see. On the other hand, the judge will throw the
book at him.]
____________________________________________________

O And finally, a fine police-blotter item, in Orem, Utah, from Salt
Lake City's Deseret News: "A man arrived home in the middle of
the day Wednesday to find another man in the shower with his
wife." [The husband then called police to assist in the "possible
confrontation."] "The wife did not explain who the man was or
why he was there. She only indicated that she had met the man at a
grocery store." [End of item.]
______________________________________________________

FROM THE ONION
CHENEY VOWS TO ATTACK THE US IF KERRY ELECTED

GREENSBORO, NC—In an announcement that has alarmed voters across the nation,
Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that he will personally attack the
U.S. if Sen. John Kerry wins the next election.

"If the wrong man is elected in November, the nation will come under a
devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and
executed by none other than myself," Cheney said, speaking at a rally in
Greensboro, NC. "When they go to the polls, Americans must weigh this fact
and decide if our nation can ignore such a grave threat."

Added Cheney: "It would be a tragedy to suffer another attack on American
soil, let alone one perpetrated by an enemy as well-organized and
well-equipped as I am. My colleagues and I urge voters to keep their safety
in mind when they go to the polls."

Although Cheney would not comment on the details of his proposed attack on a
John Kerry-led U.S., national-security experts said he possesses both the
capabilities and the motivation to pose a serious threat.

"There is no question that Cheney has the financial assets and intelligence
needed to pose a threat to our nation," said Peter Bergen, terrorism
researcher and author of Threats And Balances: Former Executive Branch
Officials And The Danger To America. "After all, this fanatic can call upon
the resources of both the Republican Party and Halliburton to aid him in his
assault. America would be foolish not to take his warning seriously."

After his speech, Cheney was asked to confirm his remarks.

"Make no mistake: If Kerry becomes president, no one will be safe from me,"
Cheney told reporters. "Businesses, places of worship, schools, public
parks: No place will offer you refuge. A vote for Kerry is a vote to die in
your own bed at the hands of Dick Cheney."

Stepping up to the podium after Cheney, Secretary of Homeland Security Tom
Ridge vowed to increase surveillance of the vice president.

"Wherever Cheney is—whether in his office in the White House or stumping in
battleground states—we will be watching him," Ridge said. "I will not rule
out raising the terror-alert level, should Kerry begin to draw ahead in the
polls. Every percentage point conceded to Kerry brings the nation under
greater threat of attack by Cheney."

In a televised address from the White House, President Bush promised "to
serve and protect the nation" by being re-elected.

"A war against Dick Cheney would be a long, hard struggle," Bush said. "It
would be a difficult battle against a shadowy nemesis who is able to hide
among us, loves only death and destruction, and hates our freedom. I have
the experience, the leadership, and the Republican nomination required to
protect us all—myself and my family included—from Dick Cheney."

Although the effect of Cheney's remarks has yet to register in the polls,
some voters report that the vice president's threats have concerned them.

"Frankly, I'm terrified," said Dwayne Cummings, a 38-year-old metal-press
operator from Cleveland, OH. "The idea of getting attacked by Cheney right
now, at a time when I'm out of work, uninsured, and have kids to worry
about, is overwhelming. I'm not sure I can vote for Kerry anymore."

Mary Pershing, a loom-worker and lifelong Democrat from Limestone, KY, said
she appreciates the government's surveillance efforts.

"At least they're warning us about the danger," Pershing said. "I've always
suspected Cheney might do something dangerous someday. Now that we have
confirmation of a possible attack—from someone as high-ranking as the vice
president, no less—we can make moves to stop it."

Cheney's remarks quickly drew a response from the Kerry campaign.

"I urge all Americans to remain calm in the face of this new threat,"
Democratic vice presidential nominee John Edwards said. "Rest assured that,
once elected, John Kerry has a plan to contend with any threat against our
nation, whether from rogue nations, terrorists, or former vice presidents."

"Should John Kerry be elected, he and I will work with, not against, the
international community," Edwards added. "I have no doubt that we would be
able to assemble a coalition of nations more than willing to aid us in the
war against Dick Cheney."
______________________________________________________

DOG EXPERIENCES BEST DAY OF HIS LIFE FOR 400TH CONSECUTIVE DAY

SANTEE, CA—Family dog Loki experienced the best day of his life for the
400th straight day Monday, the black Labrador retriever reported. "I got to
go outside! I got to sniff the bush!" Loki said, wagging excitedly. "I saw a
squirrel and I barked at it and it ran up the tree! Then I came back inside,
and the smoky-smelling tall man let me have a little piece of bacon and then
I drank from the toilet!" Loki will experience the best day of his life once
again tomorrow, when he digs a hole, chews on a slipper, and almost catches
his tail.
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...