The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 3, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** Dano and the Mess of Donuts from The Last Exit **

** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Jeffie was not there... However, sometime after
midnight, Joe attempted to take a phone call which he said was Jeffie.. Why
he was answering a call that he knew was from Jeffie? Well, I guess just
stupidity stemming from old age... How else could you explain it? For awhile
there was only silence as every time Joe and Jeffie try to talk on the phone
there it never seems to work, which is what happens when two people are
trying to carry out the extremely difficult task of having a phone
conversation when one of them (Joe) is old and senile, and the other one
(Jeffie) is stupid and incompetent.. Finally they and we could hear Jeffie,
just barely, it was very faint, but I could make out what he was saying, and
he, apparently could not hear them much if at all. However, he said that he
was calling in from his retirement party, which he said was a wild party
with lots of people there, and hot girls too. They all scoffed at this and
did not believe him.. But, there was some noise and what sounded like people
yelling in the background, so, who knows where he was or what was going on.
Perhaps they were yelling in fear and disgust of Jeffie.. Who knows. This
night also featured some amusement courtesy of Lance. He tried to make
sounds that would sound like a cross between metal vocals and Chewbacca.. He
cracked everyone up with this. So, tune in to the show this week (which,
btw, will begin a bit late, about an hour and a half or so probably, due to
a hockey game) to see if Jeffie will be there, or if his retirement will
continue...

On The Last Exit: Poor excuse for a co-host David was yet again absent which
makes it three weeks in a row now. And what makes it even worse, is that he
was in New Jersey, which makes him not only a sucky co-host, but also
stupid. Perhaps he is still so scared of bad things happening to him because
of his hosting a few weeks back that he went all the way there to hide. But,
could anyone really be that desperate? Now there's an interesting
philosophical question...Which is the greater hell, The last Exit where Just
Joe is and horrible things tend to happen to people (usually involving Just
Joe), or spending time in Jersey? Now, although I, given that choice, would
go to The Last Exit, apparently David would rather go to Jersey...I guess he
feels safer there...In any case, once again, there were a lot of other
people there (literally "other people", come to think of it, as two of them
were members of the band Others). :) They were there along with Mr. Zaremba
of Punch Drunk Monkeys (Dan-O is actually in both bands, so there were three
people and 4 members there). They were there to talk about and promote the
one time only Punch Drunk Monkeys 10th anniversary concert extravaganza.
Also on that show will be the afore mentioned Others, and If Man Is Five.
The event will be this Friday December 3rd, and it is also for a children's
charity, and will be an awesome show! I mean, it's Punch Drunk Monkeys!!
Complete with Crappy The Clown! How could it be anything but awesome! And
who knows when/if it will ever happen again, this may be your only chance to
see them, so, don't miss it! It had been hoped that Crappy The Clown would
be on LE as well, but, alas, it was not so. However, he did call in to the
show and talked for awhile about the concert, his role in a wrestling movie
in which he is featured in a scene with Chyna (a fomer WWE female wrestling
star), and what he's been up to lately. They played the music of all 3 bands
who will be on the upcoming concert. And the guests, as is the custom, were
asked and answered many of the www.theinsanedomain.com questions. Also
present at this show were, Just Joe, Gorgar, (who had not been there for a
few weeks), and Rub McGroin (who had not been there in several months). :)
The first couple hours of the night turned out to be very messy as everyone
was throwing doughnuts at everyone else (in honor of Punch Drunk Monkeys,
and their most famous song "Doughnuts", of course). There was doughnut all
over everyone and all over the studio. So, it was a very amusing night. It
was great to hear from Rub McGroin again and, of course, It's always great
to hear from Punch Drunk Monkeys and Crappy The Clown!
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Azkath's info...

Yeah, this should have gone out yesterday, but, I forgot to send it. Sorry.
The Punch Drunk Monkeys show was insane. And I say that in a good way. We
will talk about it tonight I am sure. I think they did some strange stuff
on The Metallic Onslaught, but I haven't listened back to that yet, so I
don't know. Not sure what is up for tonight, but it is, we have determined,
been one year and 2 weeks since Ian and Just Joe first came to The Last
Exit, AND it will be one year from the first appearence of The Pushrods.
Joe should be there, Crow should be there, no idea who else. We will see
what kind of anniversary surprise we can come up with....

Some old poll results that I finally ended...

Shoebox of Worm Quartet has now officially announced that his song "I'm
Gonna Procreate" was somewhat prophetic, and that he has done just that. How
do you, an innocent, or not so innocent bystander feel about this shocking
annoucement?

1. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9
2. I don't THINK I care... Although I probably should... 6
3. YAY!! A Little Shoebox!!!!!!!!!! 22


I believe that Shoebox's appearance on VH1's Obsessed TV Show was...

1. Very accurate to what he is really like. 4
2. Was almost completely embellished to make him look sillier than he is.
3
3. Mostly accurate, but embellished here and there. 1
4. True. Completely. VH1 would never lie. 0
5. Um... What is VH1? 3
6. A disgrace against a awesome human being. I will never watch VH1
AGAIN!! 0

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NEW CRISIS DigiPak Version of "LSLTS" Now available on The End Records.
LIMITED EDITION, numbered 1- 500.

http://shopping.theendrecords.com/s.nl/category.2/it.A/id.8281/.f

CRISIS - Like Sheep Led To Slaughter (LTD Digi)

First 50 orders receive a poster!!
LTD DIGI numbered to 500 units!!
CRISIS manage to once again offer another true original full of
head-spinning songwriting complexity. Fully showcasing the band’s
(dis)harmonic balance of dark art metal and experimental hardcore the music
implores relentless waves of primal energy and unmitigated brutality! The
result is a cathartic sonic experience fully embraced by the apocalyptic
lyrics of Karyn Crisis, who once again, delivers an impressive array of
contrasting and insanely captivating unique vocals!

Thanks to everyone who came out and supported us on these last 4 months of
touring.

We will be back out on the road in February.

Until then the Street Team is temporarily closed. Once the next tour is
booked we will get in touch for promotinal help.

We are currently doing final editing for our DVD, "Signatures Of Survival",
which will be released in early 2005. "SOS" was assembled (from live footage
and interviews from 1993 to the present sent to us from fans) , edited, and
filmed by Dominic Garza.

For now, keep your eye on our site for news about the premiere of our 2nd
video, "Waking the Dead" by Casey and Beth Schwochow.

"Blood Burden" VIDEO link:
Video now available for download. The song "Blood Burder" is from the new
album "Like Sheep Led To Slaughter". It was directed by Darren Doane (AFI,
Deftones, etc)

Download: High or Low format (Quick Time)
http://media.theendrecords.com/crisis_high.mov
http://media.theendrecords.com/crisis_low.mov

CRISIS
http://www.crisissite.com/
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FROM RUBY OF THE WITCHING...

Hello everybody!

Here's another chance to catch Emily Zuzik and I at the Chapter House this
Sunday. We had an excellent time when she joined me for my solo debut at
The Lost Dog this past summer. And The Splendors are taking a break from
recording that night to join us for a very special performance as well.
Take a break from your studies and join us if you can!

Sunday, December 5th (an early show)
The Chapter House presents...

Ruby Beil (9 pm)

Emily Zuzik (10 pm)

The Splendors (11 pm)

Cover is only 3$

Emily is a spectacular and soulful performer with witty, seductive songs.
Please check out her web site, www.emilyzuzik.com, or her EPK at
www.sonicbids.com/emilyzuzik. She is also an Epiphone Guitars Woman in Rock,
and there are calendars available for sale at her web site and at
http://www.epiphone.com/. The infamous 2005 calendar not only has pics of
"Emily with a stylist", but also fine musicians like Joan Osborne, Amy
Speace, Meredith DiMenna of The Saucers, and Gretchen Wilson, country's #1
artist.

Emily will also be performing at Jabberwocky in SU's Schine Student Center
the night before, Sat. Dec. 4th at 9 PM.

Spread the word on this one!

Take care and happy holidays!

Ruby
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: November 28, 2004
(R) = Requested

Aurora "Devotion"
Carrier Flux "Martyrs"
The Autumn Offering "Doomed Generation"
Others "I,Vampire"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Earthquake"
If Man is Five "Hemorrage"
Others "People"
If Man is Five "Aria"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Bad Childhood"
Worm Quartet "Let's Break Some Furniture"
Pain of Salvation "Inside Out" (R)
Others "Cabin by the Lake"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Are You Gonna Eat That"
If Man is Five "Wicked Trick"
Robot Goes Here "The Composition / Performance Dichotomy"
November Doom "For Every Leaf That Falls"
Others "Not a Word"
If Man is Five "Puppet Master"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Mr. Softy"
Mastadon "Island" (R)
Manowar "An American Trilogy" (R)
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Donuts"
Kreator "Dying Race Apocalypse"
Doro "Breaking the Law"
Cradle of Filth "Nymphetamine Mix" (R)
Elis "Anger"
The Pushrods "Liar"
Anthrax "NFL"
Pile of Heads "The Bomb"
The Plank Boys "Better Off Dead"
Black Labeled "Kill the Pepsi Generation"
Illicit Rite "Angels Hell"
Hoods "I'm in Love with a Whore"
Freya "Prey to the Gods of War"
The Sleeping "15 on the Freeway"
Cea Serin "The End of Silence"
Death "Lack of Comprehension"
Fifth Angel "Fifth Angel"
Sword "Children of Heaven"
Life Sex Death "Tank"
Pyogenesis "Still Burn in Fire"
Carpathian Forest "The Pale Mist Hovers Towards the Nightly Shores" (R)
War "Satan"
Belphegor "Lucifer Incestus"
Leviathan "A Bouquet of Blood for Skull"
HPLLHS "The Most Horrible Time of the Year"
It Dies Today "Severed Ties Yeild Severed Heads"
If Hope Dies "Sugar, Free Donuts"
Iommi "I'm Not the Same Man"
Arch Enemy "Dead Eyes See No Future"
NOFX "Dinosaurs Will Die"
Invocation of Nehek "The Decay"
Leaves Eyes "Ocean's Way"
Lilitu "Follow Through"

Feature Artist: Divinity Destroyed...
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SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, Dec 3: Punch Drunk Monkeys (10 Year Anniversary Reunion Show) with If
Man is Five and Others at The Downtown Quarterback, Endicott

Sat, Dec 4: If Man is Five, Dysrythmia, and Danceatron at Black Azul,
Binghamton - 8pm All Ages.

Fri, Dec 17: Bile, Liquid Violence, Mushroomhead, Three Minutes of Hate, and
Fireborn at The Icon, Buffalo

Sat, Dec 18: The PushRods, CrankDaddy and Plan-607 at The Half Penny pub,
Fayette St. Syracuse (9PM **FREE***)

Tues, Dec 21: Trans-Siberian Orchestra at The On Center, Syracuse

Wed, Dec 22: Trans-Siberian Orchestra at The Blue Cross Arena, Rochester

Sun, Dec 26: Winter Fest with If Man is Five, Others, A New Vintage, Nancy,
No Way Back... and More at The Sports Bar, State St. Binghamton. 4pm, $5, 10
bands
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TOP STORIES AND STUFF...

+--------------------- Bizarre Trivia----------------------+

Workers were suspended from a Las Vegas hospital in 1980 for
betting on when patients would die.

There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people
in the world.

The cavity fighter found in toothpaste is made from recycled
tin.

No one knows where Mozart is buried.

Gardening is the best exercise for maintaining healthy bones.

Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke was in the "Guinness Book
of World Records" for consuming 2.5 pints of beer in 12
seconds.

Forty trillion dollars changes hands each day worldwide.

The average person takes 18,000 steps in one day.

Morbidly obese humans are the world's heaviest primates;
gorillas are after that at 485 pounds.

Forty one percent of the moon is not visible from the Earth
at any time.

From the age of 30, humans gradually begin to shrink.
_________________________________________________

------------ Breast Milk is Going to the Dogs --------------

WELLINGTON - A New Zealand woman has decided the best way
to ensure that her pet puppy will protect her baby daughter
is to breastfeed it. I'm not sure I follow the logic, but
Kura Tumanako says, "I wanted to raise it (the pup) with my
baby. I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect
her as they grow up." Since her baby stopped taking the milk,
Tumanako has been breastfeeding the Staffordshire bull
terrier pup because she "didn't want to waste it (the milk)."
She has fed the dog twice a day for the past week but hopes
to wean it off in about six weeks' time. "He drinks more
than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit tick-
lish."
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Satan's Grotto stunt in bad taste, warns Shadowmancer author
http://www.yorkshiretoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=55&ArticleID=892
117

Best-selling author and retired vicar Graham Taylor yesterday accused a
Yorkshire tourist attraction of making a mockery of Christmas by opening a
"Satan's Grotto", which he condemned as being in very bad taste.
Mark Branagan

Mr Taylor ­ author of Shadowmancer ­ said he was "outraged" by the display
at York Dungeon which replaces the traditional Santa with a dark, cloaked
figure, with a red face and horns.
Sprawling on a throne, Satan will be handing out gifts such as severed
fingers and other body parts, and practical jokes.
He will wish revellers a Horrible Christmas and present them with a scroll
to sign their souls away.
Elves impaled on spikes or with their heads chopped off, and robins roasting
over an open fire will also greet visitors to the Clifford Street
attraction, while Santa himself boils in a witch's cauldron.
Mr Taylor, former Vicar of Cloughton, near Scarborough, said: "It is making
a mockery of Christian celebration. If it was making mockery of Islam it
would never be allowed. No on would dare do it.
"It would not be politically correct to poke fun at Muslims and Hindus. But
because it is Christianity, people think they can get away with it. They are
turning Santa into Satan and it is a sign of our times.
"Our most important Christian festival is not only knocked in sketches on TV
but now by this in York. I think it will offend thousands of committed
Christians throughout the country." [So is Father Christmas now an
established part of Christian dogma? I'm confused...]
Mr Taylor is author of two worldwide best-sellers on the dangers of the
occult, Shadowmancer, which is to be filmed by Universal Studios, and
Wormwood. He said: "The grotto is in very bad taste. Satanism is a very real
thing."
Satan's Grotto will be open for business from December 13 to 16 inclusive
and is described by the Dungeon as a sideswipe at the Christmas
celebrations, providing an alternative to the traditional grotto.
"We're not out to offend anyone, just to provide some welcome relief from an
experience many people find even scarier than anything we have here at the
Dungeon," said Dungeon boss Helen Douglas.
"It will be a winter wonderland scene meets Hell. It is just the way the
Dungeon celebrates Christmas."
Matthew Boyes, manager of Boyes store in Scarborough, whose traditional
annual grotto is famous for upstaging the West End of London, described the
Satan's Grotto idea as "bizarre".
He said Boyes's grotto was part of the store's tradition and there was no
sign that any alternative approach was needed to Father Christmas and his
elves.
He said: "There are always big queues to ours and we like to keep things
traditional. If anything Santa's grottos are more popular than ever."
________________________________________________________________

* Things People Believe: (1) The sheriff in Tucson, Ariz., warned
the public in August of a gang of women who lure horny men via
newspaper ads into believing that they can buy a starring role in an
adult video, citing the recent case of a man who was enticed to
send $1,100 to set up a video shoot, then $7,000 more, then $8,000
more, and then another $8,000; he quit only when he learned that
the women had persuaded his parents to pay $20,000 more for their
son's "acting" career. (2) Lau Yat-fai, a 5-foot-9, 23-year-old
basketball player in Hong Kong, paid the equivalent of about
US$1,400 for electrical treatments from two "beauty centers" that
had promised to make him tall. (After filing a lawsuit, he got a
partial refund in October.)
____________________________________________________________

* Thinning the Herd: A man's body was found by divers in the
Pend Oreille River near Newport, Wash., on September 25;
sheriff's deputies estimate that he was carrying about 40 lbs. of
beer (a satchel full around his body, plus cans in his pocket) but
said they would wait for an autopsy before commenting. And a 25-
year-old driver was killed in St-Joachim, Quebec, on September 24
when another car veered into his lane and hit him; police said the
deceased was within his own lane but was distracted, in that he was
apparently at the time engaged in sexual intercourse with a female
passenger. (Having intercourse while driving, said a police
spokesman, "makes driving that much more dangerous.")
________________________________________________________

* In September, a Roanoke (Va.) Times story documented the
righteous complaint of Melissa Williamson, 35, that street
construction noise outside her home in southeast Roanoke,
especially by jackhammers, would have a harmful effect on her
unborn child, then two months from term. The published Times
story ignited a firestorm of reader mail because it was accompanied
by a candid photo of Williamson in her front yard, looking annoyed
at the construction mess, but puffing away on a cigarette.
________________________________________________________

* David Roy Truscott, 35, pleaded guilty in Cornwall, England, in
September to three arsons and a burglary of a farmhouse near
Redruth, but the burglary was less significant than what he did
when he got onto the property. Police said Truscott had submerged
himself in a manure pit in order to masturbate. (Also, containers of
liquid sludge were found at his home.) At the crime scene, two
items of Truscott's were picked up, but of questionable usefulness
given the severity of his alleged behavior: tissues and rubber
gloves.
_____________________________________________________

* Readers' Choice: In September, according to a report in
Tehran's daily Mardomsalari newspaper, a local court ordered a
husband to stop beating his wife. However, the Iranian woman,
identified only as Maryam J, said she would have accepted an order
that just limited the beatings to once a week. "Beating is part of
his nature," she said, "and he cannot stop it." The disconsolate
husband said, "If I do not beat her, she will not be scared enough to
obey me."
______________________________________________________

--------------- Sliding Door Baffles Robbers ---------------

SYDNEY, Australia - It didn't take much to scare off this
group of robbers. Three men decided to enter a restaurant
by kicking down the door, unaware that it was in fact an
unlocked sliding door. Twenty of the restaurant's customers
watched the three men put on this ridiculous display.
According to Acting Senior Sergeant John Klepzcarek, "Because
it wouldn't open, he started kicking it. One of the other
men tried to push the sliding door and after a number of
attempts all three men have run off." And now we know why
they lost their jobs as doormen.
_______________________________________________________

* Jackie Lee Shrader, 49, and his son, Harley Lee, 24, had a brief
shootout with .22-caliber handguns, provoked when the pair
confronted each other over how to cook skinless chicken for dinner
(Bluewell, W.Va., September). And Niccolo Rossodivita, 62, shot
Billy Cordova, 40, twice in the chest after Cordova followed him
around their house prolonging their argument over Jesus Christ's
correct name (Wasilla, Alaska, September). And Angela Morris,
19, was charged with assaulting her boyfriend by pouring boiling
oil on him during an argument over a Bible verse the two had been
reading together (Eugene, Ore., May).
_______________________________________________________

Thomas Patrick Remo,
50, was arrested in September in Dallas, Tex., and charged with
practicing medicine (gynecology) without a license; Remo had a
stream of female customers who apparently did not think it odd
that the exams were free and that he ran his office out of a self-
storage locker.
______________________________________________________

* Patricia Frankhouser filed a lawsuit in Jeannette, Pa., in
November against the Norfolk Southern railway as a result of
being hit by a train in January as she walked on railroad tracks.
Frankhouser, who suffered various cuts and a broken finger,
claimed in the lawsuit that Norfolk Southern should have posted
signs alongside the tracks warning people not to walk on them, that
trains might be coming.
______________________________________________________

* From the 7-23-04 Police Reports column of the New London,
Wis., Press-Star: "1:15 p.m., a juvenile approached an officer at
[Hortonville Police Department] complaining about having a lock
stuck around his right testicle for three days and he didn't know
how to get it off. [The officer found a master key.] "Having the
master key in hand, the juvenile left the room for a moment and
returned with the lock. The officer spoke to the juvenile about
experimenting with sexuality and how he needs to be more careful
in the future."
_____________________________________________________

* When the police chief in Springdale, Pa., allegedly used the N-
word while detaining two black teenagers, the boys' parents
charged racism, but the chief's brother, police officer Mike
Naviglia, came to his rescue. Officer Naviglia suddenly grabbed
one of the boys, in front of their mother, and kissed him flush on
the mouth. Said Naviglia, "Does that taste like racism?"
(According to the mother, Naviglia said, "I kissed him to show him
that I wasn't prejudiced." The mother was undaunted and said she
would proceed with her complaint.)
_______________________________________________________

* Paul Michael Callahan, 32, was arrested in Boston in August
after, according to police, a short career as a bank robber, which
started badly when Callahan tried to hold up the copy shop at
Boston University, believing it was a bank. (The clerk asked, "Do
you know you're in a copy store and all we can give you is
copies?") Callahan fled but allegedly robbed a Fleet Bank branch a
few minutes later (getting less than $200) and then a Citizen's
Bank branch, clearing about $2,500. However, the red-dye pack
from Citizen's exploded, distracting him, and then his getaway car
got a flat tire, and police found him hiding in a gas station.
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...