The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 17, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern
Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

Recaps of Last Week's Shows from Fire Eater Wizard...

On The Metallic Onslaught: Santa Claus was there again, And so was
Jeffie. The MO gang, extremely dismayed to see Jeffie back again,
demanded to know what had happened to his retirement. He said that
he had tried to retire, but that they had canceled his special
retirement show and then refused to properly take his calls when he
tried to phone in from his retirement parties (he had attended an If
Man Is Five show the first week, and The Punch Drunk Monkeys' 10th
anniversary extravaganza the next week, and thought those shows were
all for him - his retirement parties). He said that, since they
hadn't "let" him retire properly, he was back for his one last
retirement show. They tried to get him to retire and leave
immediately, but he insisted on having his retirement show. He had
brought with him a purple slide whistle, which he kept blowing (I'm
sure you can supply your own dirty jokes there) all night long and
driving everyone insane with it Later, he also brought out
something from the past which we hadn't seen for quite a while...
The Pussy cat puppet. He kept tormenting Santa with it, trying to
get Santa to kiss the pussy. He kept trying to sit on Santa's lap
which Santa would not allow. Jeffie told Santa that he wasn't what
Santa should be like. Jeffie got into a brawl with Lance in which
Jeffie actually had the upper hand throughout most of it. Then
Jeffie tried again to sit on Santa's lap, and when he could not do
that, he then tried to sit on Joe's lap, which started a brawl
between Joe and Jeffie. By the end of the night, Santa said that he
had changed his mind... He had defended Jeffie to the gang the week
before, saying that no one could possibly be as bad as they claimed
Jeffie was. However, now, after having spent 3 hours with Jeffie, he
said that Jeffie was even worse than they had said, and that he
really sucked. Jeffie told Santa that he was a sucky Santa, and that
he did not like him (I get the impression the feeling was mutual).
At the last talk break of the night Jeffie was attempting to give
what was for him supposed to be a moving final message to his
millions (and millions) of fans. But Lance kept interrupting him and
talking over him. Jeffie yelled at Lance saying that he was ruining
his final talk break, and depriving his fans. Jeffie attacked Lance
and they brawled again. Again, Jeffie seemed to be dominating this
fight and was going to F5 Lance. This brawl was still going on as
they went off air. So, tune in this week and see if Jeffie is really
retired or if, in the tradition of so many famous wrestlers which he
referenced in his retirement speech, he will be back. We will see if
his retirement lasts this time, and, if so, for how long...

On The Last Exit: First Jeffie showed up at Ithaska as a special
treat for Ashley as it was her last show for a while. Then we
learned that sadly it was to be Rahul's final show. So Azkath put
Jeffie in the trunk of Rahul's car and told Rahul that as a going
away present, he got Jeffie for one whole week. Ooo what a
thoughtful gift! Who wouldn't love that?! So, farewell to Rahul, we
shall miss you! Wonder of wonders, co-host David actually saw fit to
put in an appearance, and, wow! he actually stayed for one whole
hour (one sixth of the show)! And then he left informing us that he
will be gone again for another six weeks or so, as he is going back
to Jersey. Ah, the tireless dedication to his co-hosting duties that
that boy shows! Also present for about the first hour or so were:
Ian The Yeti and his friend Matt who has been there a couple times
(they left soon as Ian said that he was ill), The Penguin, and, an
unexpected great surprise, Crappy The Clown! Crappy talked about The
Punch Drunk Monkeys 10th anniversary concert of the week before, his
role in a wrestling movie with Chyna (a female former wrestling
star) and his life in general. Just Joe was not present at LE this
week, and neither was Fritz. So who knows what poor Fritz's fate was
after being kidnapped and taken hostage by Just Joe the week before.
Ian said that he believed Just Joe had been arrested and was in
jail, but who knows? That could not be confirmed or denied. After
the first hour David, Ian, Matt, The Penguin, and Crappy all left.
But then Richey the vocalist / guitarist for The Pushrods arrived.
For the rest of the show Richey was interviewed and played many
Pushrods songs acoustically. And in the final hour we got to hear
The recording of The Punch Drunk Monkey's 10th anniversary concert
played back in it's entirety (well, with Crappy's swearing edited
out) which was a real treat! It sounded great! An interesting fun
show. And this week will be the 8th Pre-Anniversary count down to
the end of the world extravaganza (the world ends on December 21,
2012). This show is to LE what Wrestlemania is to Wrestling, so, it
should be a crazy wild night. And perhaps we will learn where Just
Joe was, and what happened to poor Fritz. Be sure to tune in...

***************************
Updates from Seriah Azkath...

Ok, first of all, to anyone that has e-mailed me, I have not really
had internet since Monday night. I had to resort to installing AOL
on this computer, for which it may never forgive me, just to send
this. I have Direcway Satellite internet, because it's that or dial-
up where I live, and that is all well and fine, aside from the fact
that they can't seem to install the dish where it will keep it's fix
on the satellite it needs. Slowly but surely it has been losing
it's aim, and although we told the company this, they seem to think
that it can't happen (despite the fact that this is the THIRD time
that it has). So now, after getting past the tour of India which
passes for customer service, they have given us a service order and
phone # of the person who can repoint it. And of course, he fails
to call us back day after day. Fun, eh? So, yeah, I am thrilled
with all this...

Anyways, shows, Metallic Onslaught should be on at 9 this week, but
then again that was to be the case last week as well. I also think
this is the last show of 2004 for them. Too bad Jeffie's gonna miss
it. I have no idea what he and Rahul did last week after they left
the station. This week on The Last Exit, will be our 8th Pre-
Anniversary of the End of the World show. We should have some
special guests. And we MAY just celebrate Ian's birthday being in a
few days. All will be revealed however at the show... Should be
much fun...
______________________________________________

--------- METAL UPDATE ---------
-- http://www.metalupdate.com --

The Metal Update will deliver a weekly report to your email inbox.
To
sign up, go to MetalUpdate.com and click the SUBSCRIBE! link. The
Metal
Update is free.

This week's Metal Update went out to over 15,300 subscribers.

-- EDITOR'S NOTE --

FAREWELL DIMEBAG
The metal nation mourns this week following the tragic murder of
legendary
guitarist Dimebag Darrell. Dime was an unparalleled talent and
influenced
many, particularly with his work in Pantera. Our thoughts are with
his
family and with the families of the other victims during this
difficult
time.

THE METAL UPDATE RETURNS
After a nearly two month hiatus, the Metal Update is back on track
and
will resume hitting your mailboxes every week. Thanks to everyone
for your
patience and support while we made our transition. Please note the
Metal
Update now has a new mailing address that can be found at the bottom
of
this newsletter.

- Laura German, Editor

-- NEWS --

DAMAGEPLAN
Guitarist Dimebag Darrell was murdered on Wednesday night, minutes
after
Damageplan began their headlining set in a Columbus, Ohio club. Four
others were killed, including the gunman, and two were wounded.

MOTLEY CRUE
After more than six years, all four original members of Motley Crue
have
reunited. Their "Red, White & Crue Tour 2005 . . . Better Live Than
Dead"
worldwide trek will begin in February.

GRAMMY AWARDS
Nominations for this year's Grammy Awards have been announced.
Best Metal Performance: Cradle of Filth, Hatebreed, Killswitch
Engage,
Motorhead, Slipknot
Best Hard Rock Performance: Incubus, Metallica, Nickelback, Slipknot,
Velvet Revolver

MURDER WEAPON
Murder Weapon have confirmed that the band has called it quits. Their
final performance is scheduled for December 26th in Richhmond, VA.

NEW SIGNINGS
Artemis Records: Black Label Society
Nuclear Blast: Samael, Bleed the Sky, All Shall Perish
Prosthetic Records: Kylesa
Listenable Records: /Speed/Kill\Hate/
The Death Scene Recording Company: Ambry
Napalm Records: Naio Ssaion
Vicious Recordings: Puissance
Equilibre Music: Zuul FX

FOR MORE NEWS GO TO:
http://www.metalupdate.com

-- HELP WANTED --

VOCALIST & BASSIST wanted - Former DEAD TO FALL drummer Dan Craig has
formed a new band named Vale in Tampa, FL and is seeking a bassist
and
vocalist to compete the group's lineup. All applicants must be
dedicated,
have professional gear, transportation, and be willing to travel.
Interested parties should contact Heavyriffing@...
_______________________________________________________________

NEWS FROM THE NOW HARDCORE, EXTREME GORGAR!!!

According to the official JUDAS PRIEST website, the band's upcoming
album - featuring the return of frontman Rob Halford - will be
called Angel Of Retribution. It will be released on February 28th in
Europe and the UK, and on March 1st in North America.

Black Lotus Records (www.black-lotus-recs.com) have announced the
signing of legendary CRIMSON GLORY singer MIDNIGHT, who returns
after 16 years of absolute silence. Says the label, "Words are not
enough to describe his truly unique voice, which has marked the
history of recorded music and placed him among the most influential
singers of the 1980's." More details on the deal and future releases
will be announced soon.

AC/DC frontman BRIAN JOHNSON is thrilled to hear his group's rock
music is helping US and British troops terrorise enemies around the
globe. The heavy rock band's music is a favourite of soldiers
stationed in Iraq and other trouble spots - and he's delighted to
hear it's often used to punish the opposition. He says, "Back when
the (US) Army had (General Manuel) Noriega surrounded (in Panama),
they used our music to drive him f**king nuts. "More recently, they
used it to disorient a group of insurgents in Baghdad, like some
crazy weapon of deaf and destruction." And Johnson has also heard
how songs like 'Hell's Bells' and 'Back In Black' are used to locate
lost troops. He adds, "In Somalia, this helicopter pilot was in
prison with a broken spine, and his squad couldn't find him. But
they knew he was a fanatic for 'Hell's Bells', so to locate him they
flew down blaring it from their 'copter. He heard it and dragged
himself to a window to signal them."
_________________________________________________________

For Immediate Release:

Screaming Ferret Wrecords/Escapi Music Reissues Rare CIA Release
Attitude

Intense Solo Album By Glenn Evans Of Nuclear Assault Delivers
9 Tracks Of Pure Aggression

In whetted anticipation of the forthcoming Nuclear Assault studio
effort, Screaming Ferret Wreckords/Escapi Music has delved into the
vaults and, on January 4th, is issuing a re-mastered edition of
Attitude, the extremely rare sophomore solo effort by Nuclear
Assault's legendary drummer Glenn Evans under the moniker CIA.

Originally released to limited capacity in 1992, Attitude displays
both Glenn's amazing musical prowess, and his humanity. According to
Glenn, "The CIA Attitude album was recorded in a period of my life
when things were beginning to fall apart…my marriage, Nuclear
Assault, and life in general. Everyone has those periods in their
life at one time or another. I had a lot of emotions flowing through
me and the easiest way to get them out was through music. I was
proud of it then, and I'm proud of it now. It never really had a
proper release, and this time around it will."

Glenn describes this album as "one of the proudest moments of my
insane life." And for good reason. The 9 blistering tracks on
Attitude really show Glenn's abilities beyond just amazing skills as
a drummer. Glenn is a songwriter, and it shows. The opening
track "Ace in the Hole" compels the listener to chant along to the
chorus, while "No Need to Impress" illustrates Glenn's feelings of
self-reliance.

The complete tracklisting for Attitude includes:
Ace In The Hole No Remorse
Don't Waste My Time Pull The Trigger
Can't Find My Way No Need To Impress
Sword Of Democles Land Of Gloom And Doom
Right Or Wrong

An mp3 of the track "Ace In The Hole" is available for download
here:
http://www.screamingferret.com/sfw_audio/CIA_av/CIA_Ace_in_the_Hole.m
p3

Perhaps the most impressive fact about this album is that it couples
Nuclear Assault's trademark aggression with Glenn's advanced
technical musicianship as he plays guitar, drums, bass, and provides
vocals. Glenn shares guitar duties with original Nuclear Assault
axeman Anthony Bramante and longtime friend, Dave DiPietro. This
revival of a creative teaming from the past would later lead to a
strong addition to the Nuclear Assault ranks: "It was also the
beginning of re-uniting with Dave DiPietro, my early co-band mate
with T.T. Quick" says Glenn, "In fact, this album was the stepping-
stone for Dave to joining Nuclear Assault for the Something Wicked
album and tour. He is an amazing guitarist, and I was proud to have
him perform on the record."

With fans eagerly awaiting the new Nuclear Assault album due for
release in early 2005, Attitude is guaranteed to keep the metal
masses satisfied.

Check out the interactive CIA e-card here:
http://www.letstalkmetal.com/Bands/CIA/ecard.html

www.screamingferret.com
www.escapi.com
_________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: December 12, 2004
(R) = Requested

Background: Coph Nia "That Which Remains"

HPLHS "Do You Fear What I Fear?"
Jello Biarfra and The Melvins "The Lighter Side of Global Terrorism"
Emperia "The Lotus Eaters"
The Pushrods "Liar"
Still Remains "I Can Revive Him with My Own Hands"
The Autumn Offering "Calm After the Storm"
Age of Silence "Of Concrete and Glass"
King Diamond "Mansion in Darkness - Live"
Yob "Ball of Molten Lead"
Empyrean Sky "Peak of the Fall"
If Man is Five "Choking on the Past"
This Will Hurt "Put the X Back in Christmas"
Worm Quartet "Recursively Anatomically Correct"
Divinity Destroyed "Astro-Zombies - Live"
3 Inches of Blood "Premonition of Pain"
X-Mas Project "Jingle Bells"
HPLHS "Awake Ye Scary Great Olde Ones"
This Will Hurt "Do You Hear What ~"
King Diamond "No Presents for Christmas" (R)
The Pushrods "The Devil Wears a Bra - Acouistic"
Motorhead "In the Name of Tragedy / Deaf Forever" (R)
Blood for Blood "Ace of Spades / Hanging on the Corner"
Jello Biafra and The Melvins "McGruff the Crime Dog"
The Pushrods "Treat Her Like a Hooker" (R)
The Pushrods "Burning Love / We Fell In Love While We Were Drinkin' -
Acoustic"
Others "The Fear Of..."
Balzac "Day the Earth Caught Fire"
Robot Goes Here "Zen and the Science of Nihilism"
This Will Hurt You "What Child Is This (Bastard Mix)"
Sopor Aeturnus and The Emsemble of Shadows "We Have a Dog to
Exercise"
Hanoi Rocks "Obscured"
The Pushrods "We're So Successful / Victims of Love - Acoustic"
Anthrax "Indians"
Harlots "Famine / She Will Be Consumed by Fire"
Tony Goldmark "Another Great Idea with Bill and Bob"
Worm Quartet "What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like"
The Pushrods "I Don't Fit In / Girls in Vinyl Skirts - Acoustic"

*MySpace Pic of the Night*
Ghost Orgy "Twisted"

HPLHS "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen"
Sin Dealer "The One Inside"
Born of Thorns "Starnation's Loss"
X-Mas Project "White Christmas"
Sum 41 "We're All to Blame"
Nekromantix "Dead Bodies"
Pile of Heads "Saved"
Vicious Circle "Live Long and Suffer"
This Will Hurt You "You Better Not Cry"
HPLHS "Away in a Madhouse"
Withering Surface "Inhale the Hyper Pulse"
Doro "Love Me in Black - Orchestral"
Sick of it All "Stood for Nothing"

* Tribute to the Past Set *
Mox-Nix "Fight Back"
Sisters of Mercy "No Time to Cry (Original Mix)"
Heretic "White Chapel"
King Missile "It's Saturday"
Warrior Soul "In Conclusion"

Asrai "Pale Light"
HPLHS "The Shoggoth Song"
Freya "Spray Paint the Wall"
HPLHS "Tentacles"
Kreator "One Evil Comes - A Million Follow"

Feature Artist: Punch Drunk Monkeys 10th Anniversary Show Live...
_________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, Dec 17: Bile, Liquid Violence, Mushroomhead, Three Minutes of
Hate, and Fireborn at The Icon, Buffalo

Sat, Dec 18: The PushRods, CrankDaddy and Plan-607 at The Half Penny
pub, Fayette St. Syracuse (9PM **FREE***)

Sat, Dec 18: Unearth, A Life Once Lost, and Since the Flood at Club
Tundra, Syracuse

Tues, Dec 21: Trans-Siberian Orchestra at The On Center, Syracuse

Wed, Dec 22: Trans-Siberian Orchestra at The Blue Cross Arena,
Rochester

Sat, Dec 25: Psyopus and The Hostage Heart at Monty's Crown Lounge,
Rochester

Sun, Dec 26: Winter Fest with Paul Juser, No Way Back, Hype, Nancy,
If Man Is Five, Robbing Banks, Never The Sunshine, Others, S.T.
Dredd, and Dancetron at The Sports Bar, State St. Binghamton.
$5.00 / 4pm free food, drink specials

Sat, Jan 15: Others, Black Labeled, and King Snyder at The Ice
House, Binghamton

Sat, Jan 22: Walls Of Jericho, Bury Your Dead, Full Blown Chaos, and
Premonitions Of War at The Icon, Buffalo

Wed, Feb 9: 18 Visions, Emery, Remembering Never, and Misery Signals
at The Icon, Buffalo

Tues, April 5: Soilwork, Dark Tranquility, Hypocrisy, and Mnenic at
The Icon, Buffalo
__________________________________________

TOP STRANGE STORIES OF THE WEEK

Op can boost size of micro-penis
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4071657.stm

Last Updated: Monday, 6 December, 2004, 12:11 GMT

Surgeons are perfecting a way to build up the size of very small
penises,
enabling proper urination, and a full sex life.

It is estimated that about one in 200 men is born with what is known
as a
micro-penis.

Whereas the average size of the human penis is around 12.5cm (5
inches), a
micro-penis spans less than 7cm.

University College London surgeons will present their work to the
European
Society for Sexual Medicine.

A micro-penis can develop from inadequate levels of the male sex
hormone
testosterone during the second and third trimesters of pregnancy, or
from an
inability to respond to testosterone in the normal way.

Sometimes doctors will recommend gender reassignment, so the child is
brought up as a girl.

However, there are a number of treatments available.

The UCL team has been refining a technique called phalloplasty, or
penile
enlargement.

This involves cutting a flap of skin from the patient's forearm and
shaping
it into a penis four or five inches long.

To maintain erogenous sensation, the original penis is incorporated
into the
surface of the transplanted skin.

Patients receive a urethra to enable them to urinate, and an
inflatable
penile prosthesis to allow an erection to engage in sexual
intercourse.

Successful surgery

UCL surgeons performed the operation on nine men aged 19 to 43 with
a range
of medical backgrounds, including three hermaphrodites and two men
who had
problems with androgen (the group of hormones which includes
testosterone),
one of whom became deficient in androgen after chemotherapy.

Following surgery, all patients were found to be satisfied with the
cosmetic
appearance of their penis, with four patients able to urinate
standing up
and four able to have regular sexual intercourse.

However, in several cases multiple complications arose, such as an
infection
or a shift in the prosthesis position, with subsequent revision
operations
needed.

Dr David Ralph, of UCL's Institute of Urology, said: "This operation
can
change the life of young men, improving their self-esteem and
quality of
life and allowing many of them to have sexual intercourse, sometimes
for the
first time in their life.

"However, patients should be aware of the high risk of complications
from
this procedure."
______________________________________________________________

+----------- Bizarre Crimes of the 20th Century -----------+

In 1901, a thief robbed a post train in New Orleans and
stole 12,568 Christmas cards.

In 1910, a man known as John Smith decided to rob a bank. He
put on women's tights and entered the office. All clients
and the security started laughing, but it did not stop Smith
from approaching the cash desk and withdrawing $10,000 from
his own account. Laughing police officers took the bizarre
thief away.

In 1936, a prisoner sentenced to death penalty escaped
during his own execution. He ran away together with the
electric chair, to which he was fixed. The prisoner hoped to
cross the Mexican border and sell the electric chair in
Mexico. The police nabbed the fugitive near the prison gate.

In 1966, a group of gypsies stole an elephant in the city of
Arkhangelsk, Russia. They failed to sell the animal and had
to bring it back to the zoo.

In 1975, a married couple of thieves went to court when they
could not agree on how to split what they had stolen before.
The court put them both in jail.

In 1980, two perpetrators tried to rob a bank in New York.
They disarmed the security, told them to take all money and
other metal things out of their pockets and stole all that.
No one even bothered to catch them.

In 1982, a criminal broke into a flat of a Russian elderly
lady and stole a replica of Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. The lady
cut that picture out from a very old magazine - it was the
only thing that the criminal stole.

In 1986, a thief broke into a casino in Atlantic City.
Yielding a gun, the man stole a bag of quarters. The thief
ran about ten meters away from the cash desk, sat down at
one of the gambling machines and started playing. Hardly
had he lost a half of the money to the machine, when the
police nabbed him.

In 1998, the largest theft of punched cards took place in
the Moscow region in 1998. Three years later it became known
that someone had stolen about 20 train cars of punched cards.
It is still a mystery who stole the cards, what for and
where such a large number of cards came from. Furthermore,
no one even reported the disappearance of 20 cars.

In 1999, a group of Russian soldiers robbed a beer kiosk not
far from their quarters. A company of soldiers stopped near
the kiosk, a sergeant called three military men from the
line and ordered them to rob it.
__________________________________________________

------------ Land Down Under Gets Down & Dirty -------------

AUSTRALIA - I think I'm working on the wrong continent. The
only Christmas bonus I've ever gotten for my hard work is a
little extra cash. Dedicated employees in Queensland,
however, are being rewarded for their labor with a trip to
the brothel. Queensland brothels are preparing for their
busiest time of the year and say they are expecting a large
rush of workers treating themselves to a celebratory romp.
Apparently, a visit to the brothel has long been a favorite
way for groups of co-workers to mark the end of the year.
Some generous employers also show their gratitude by paying
for strip shows at job sites or in strip clubs. Hmmm, I
wonder if the boss will go for this idea...
____________________________________________________

+-------------- Bizarre Miscellaneous Quotes --------------+

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but
none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with
his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry
Tarkanian

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One
word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of
a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
___________________________________________________

------------- Deputy Uses Elevator as Outhouse -------------

Orlando, Fla. - There is no upside to peeing in an elevator.
Orange County Deputy Carl Brown was temporarily reinstated
after he was let go for peeing in an elevator inside the
Orange County Courthouse. A security camera captured
Brown's bodily functions as well as his attempt to move the
camera after finishing his business. Authorities said that
Brown claims he suffers from a medical condition. What's
that - amnesia?
_____________________________________________________

---------------- Hit the Nail on the Head ------------------

An unidentified man could no longer stand the headaches that
had bothered him for four years. After receiving an exam,
X-rays revealed the man had a two-inch nail embedded in his
skull. He was ultimately shocked by the news, but then
remembered banging his head at work when the headaches
started. According to a South Korean medic, "It's a miracle
he survived." The man is definitely looking forward to the
nail being removed and the end of those hammering head-
aches...no pun intended.
___________________________________________________

Wal-Mart Sued Over Evanescence CD Lyrics

By DAVID DISHNEAU
Associated Press Writer

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) -- Wal-Mart Stores Inc., which promotes itself
as a seller of clean music, deceived customers by stocking compact
discs by the rock group Evanescence that contain the f-word, a
lawsuit claims.

The hit group's latest CD and DVD, "Anywhere But Home," don't carry
parental advisory labels alerting potential buyers to the obscenity.
If they did, Wal-Mart wouldn't carry them, according to the
retailer's policy.

But the lawsuit claims Wal-Mart knew about the explicit lyrics in
the song, "Thoughtless," because it censored the word in a free
sample available on its Web site and in its stores.

The complaint, filed Thursday in Washington County Circuit Court,
seeks an order requiring Wal-Mart to either censor or remove the
music from its Maryland stores. It also seeks damages of up to
$74,500 for each of the thousands of people who bought the music at
Wal-Marts in Maryland.

"I don't want any other families to get this, expecting it to be
clean. It needs to be removed from the shelves to prevent other
children from hearing it," said plaintiff Trevin Skeens of
Brownsville.

Skeens said he and his wife, Melanie, let their daughter buy the
music for her 13th birthday and were shocked when they played it in
their car while driving home.

Wal-Mart, of Bentonville, Ark., has no immediate plans to pull the
CDs from its shelves, spokesman Guy Whitcomb told The (Hagerstown)
Herald-Mail. He said the company will investigate the allegations.
No hearing dates have been set.

"While Wal-Mart sets high standards, it would not be possible to
eliminate every image, word or topic that an individual might find
objectionable," Whitcomb told the newspaper.

He told the Herald-Mail that the song sample online was censored by
Walmart.com, a separate division of Wal-Mart.

Whitcomb didn't return telephone calls Friday from The Associated
Press.

The lawsuit also names as defendants Wind-up Records LLC, the New
York-based company that recorded the music and decided not to apply
parental-advisory stickers; and distributor BMG Entertainment, a
subsidiary of Sony BMG Music Entertainment, of New York.

Sony BMG declined to comment on the lawsuit. Wind-up didn't return
calls from the AP.

The Skeens' lawyer, Jon D. Pels of Bethesda, said he aims to "take
this case national, even if that means going state by state."

He dismissed Whitcomb's suggestion that Wal-Mart stores didn't know
about the censored version of the song. "They are a multimillion-
dollar corporation and they certainly can communicate among their
various entities," he said.
______________________________________________

* Eccentric British rock musician Genesis P-Orridge (born Neil
Megson) and his wife and partner Lady Jaye Breyer are gradually
transforming themselves surgically into gender-neutral human
beings ("pandrogynous") resembling each other, so that eventually
they will be indistinguishable, to demonstrate how overrated
gender is as a point of reference. (For example, he wore a lace
dress at their wedding, and she dressed as a biker guy, with
moustache, and for Valentine's Day 2003, each got breast
implants.) P-Orridge told SF Weekly in October that their goal is
to jointly become a third person, distinct from either of them.
_________________________________________________

* More Scenes of the Surreal: (1) Katherine Williams was kicked
out of the public library's community flea market in Spring Hill,
Tenn., in October because she offered for sale a yellow duck-
shaped bath sponge, larger than a football, that happened to vibrate
(to the delight of her child, she said); city officials (who were
apparently focused on the word "vibrate") concluded that it must
be a sex toy and said her booth violated the town's adult-business
law. (2) Archaeologists excitedly announced in October that in
examining ruins on the Wittenberg, Germany, property of 16th-
century philosopher Martin Luther, they discovered the actual
stone toilet on which he composed the manifesto that launched the
Protestant Revolution. (Luther suffered chronic constipation and
thus spent much of his days on the toilet.)
___________________________________________________

* In one of the stark reminders of regional language variations in
the U. S., a game resembling horseshoes is fast becoming a pastime
in the Midwest that likely would not be so popular under the same
name in the South. In this game, contestants throw beanbag-like
bags of corn toward a platform that has a hole in the center, trying
to score points (in the hole, or on the platform, or knocking your
opponents' bag off the platform). Some refer to the game as Corn
Toss, but the more popular name, according to a September report
in the Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch, is Cornhole.
____________________________________________________

* The Laws of Irony Are Strictly Enforced: (1) Friends tried to
persuade a 37-year-old man at a party near Greenville, Mich., in
September that he was too drunk to drive home safely, but the man
became enraged; in the ensuing brawl, the man was clubbed in the
head with a flashlight and died. (2) Parent Deborah Meister, 46,
was charged with assault in Anchorage, Alaska, in September
following a public meeting on school policies at Central Middle
School; according to police, Meister roughed up an assistant
principal because she thought he had been too cavalier about the
problem of student bullying.
______________________________________________________

* It was one of the classics, but it happened anew, in Bloomington,
Ill., in October. Donald R. Hilger was arrested and charged with
robbing 11 local businesses over the previous two weeks. He was
picked up shortly after a robbery of a Jewel/Osco store, and police
brought two of that robbery's witnesses by the arrest scene to see if
they could identify him. According to police, however, as soon as
the employees spotted Hilger, Hilger pointed at one of them and
blurted out, "That's the one I robbed."
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on
in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections,
additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so
by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available
for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com)
and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe
to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories
from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where
applicable...