The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - January 14, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Shoebox... Well, take a guess. If you said
"Shoebox who?" or "Yeah right, not there, of course"... Well, that would be
an excellent guess! It would be, however, in this extremely rare case,
wrong! Yes, that's right! Can you believe it!? This first MO of the New Year
featured a rare and happy surprise. Shoebox actually graced us with his
presence! Now I predicted in this recap after his last appearance on MO
(which was way back on Friday, July 2nd into Saturday July 3rd) that we
would not see him for another 6 to
8 weeks. However, I wildly underestimated him, (or overestimated him
perhaps) as he tripled that! Jeffie was at first happy to see Shoebox, (I'm
not so sure if the rest of the gang was, though) :) but, after a while of
enduring Shoebox's insults, Jeffie changed his mind and told Shoebox that he
sucked. Jeffie and shoebox got into a few brawls, In one of these, Shoebox
sat on Jeffie, which should have been enough to kill Jeffie again (and most
anyone else, for that matter) but, this version of Jeffie has proven to be
very durable. Many attempts to kill him have been tried and either failed
entirely, or proved to be only temporary. Jeffie and Shoebox also threw
butter in each other's faces. Jeffie brought out his pussycat puppet again,
and kept tormenting Shoebox with it, shoving it in his mouth and having it
kiss him. Joe, Rick, and Lance were also involved in these brawls at various
times. During one of these, Rick's face somehow got pressed against the
window which left his lip prints on the glass, which seemed to really amuse
and fascinate Shoebox (Rick was not too pleased to have Shoebox seem so
fascinated with his lips). :) Shoebox left around midnight (well, he was
there, what more do you want?), and Jeffie took the credit for making him
leave. And then we found out more about that bizarre last show of 04... On
that show, Jeffie was supposed to be retired, but then showed up, with
seemingly no memories. And he seemed to be defective as well, often freezing
up and getting stuck. I speculated that perhaps Jeffie really had retired,
and that this was a new version of him... And, it turns out that this was
right. (must be my wizard's powers of deduction). :) Jeffie said that he
had wanted to and tried to retire, but that the show just sucked too much
without him, so he had sent them a clone to replace him. But since they had
killed the clone (Santa's faerie dust turned Lance into a zombie
temporarily, and Lance attacked that Jeffie and ate a good portion of him,
and, apparently it wasn't as durable as this one) he just couldn't let the
show go on sucking and deprive his millions (and millions) of fans, so he
had to come back from retirement. He tried to give a moving speech about
having been retired and coming back for the fans. In this speech he said he
had been retired for 2 years... Well, I guess technically maybe you could
look at it that way, as he retired at the end of one year, and came back at
the beginning of the next year, so it is 2 different years. (wizard's logic
there.) :) Jeffie also tormented Joe and Lance with the pussycat. He came
in and had it kiss Joe. Joe and Jeffie brawled, and Joe got the pussy and
said he would only give it back if Jeffie left and went back into the other
room. Then Jeffie put the pussy in Lance's face. This being the first show
of the New Year, it was the show where everyone played their top 5 picks of
the previous year. (Shoebox did not get to give any picks.) They did not
want to let Jeffie give his picks either, but Jeffie insisted on giving them
anyways. He named picking his nose his butt, a scab and something that he
had picked out of Lance's ear while they were brawling (which Lance denied
ever happened). And then, for his top pick... Well, that was truly something
to behold! He played some Godawful slow, metal, power ballad, which featured
what had to be the worst and dumbest lyrics ever written! Jeffie also
performed along to this, singing and blowing (Huh, huh, huh, huh! I said
Blowing!) on that purple slide whistle. The whole thing was... Well...
really something! Lance and Jeffie got into another brawl. At the
conclusion of this brawl (and of the show as well) Lance threw mustard at
Jeffie. There was mustard all over Jeffie, all over the window, and all over
everything else. So, thus went the first show of the New Year. Lots of
violence, insanity and silliness, the year may change, but these things do
not...

On The Last Exit: Just Joe was back and he did not deny Lance's claim that
he had beaten JJ so severely that this was why he had been absent, so, it
was true. Just Joe said that Lance had sneaked up on him and surprised him.
It was one of those shows with a ton of people there, so let me see if I can
take attendance and name them all. Just Joe as I said, Ian The Yeti, The
Penguin, Alan (the new enforcer), Ritchie (vocalist and guitarist for the
Pushrods), and the band Others. There! The band Others: Mark, Dan-O (also in
Punch Drunk Monkeys), and Jessica were on to promote some upcoming concerts,
to be interviewed, and to perform many of their songs live and acoustic on
the air. They rocked and it was an awesome performance! They also promised
while they were there that they would do something to take care of Just Joe.
The time came for them to leave, and they had done nothing yet in this
regard. As they were leaving, they said that they wanted to have their
picture taken with Just Joe outside... Everyone went outside to arrange and
witness this... And the band attacked Just Joe... They jumped him and kept
putting their hands down his pants (well, unfortunately for Just Joe, only
Mark and Dan-O did this, as Jessica sensibly ran away when she saw that this
would involve putting hands down Just Joe's pants). Also unfortunately for
Just Joe, they were putting their hands down his pants because they were
putting snow down his pants, lots and lots of snow... They also dropped lots
of snow down his shirt... They then double teamed him, shoving him into a
large snow drift, and piling on top of him. (See pic on main LE page
currently) The downside to all this was that when Just Joe finally got back
inside, he took off his soaking wet pants, and then threatened to sit on
people's laps, particularly poor Ian. Since the bands ambush of Just Joe had
come as a total surprise, they wanted Ian to get Just Joe to go back outside
and recreate the scene so that it could be documented this time. They told
Just Joe to go outside with Ian. Just Joe was on to what they wanted to do
and called them on it (he really does seem to be getting smarter about
things like that). They of course denied it, saying that nothing like what
had just happened with the band would happen again. Just Joe finally did go
outside with Ian. And Just Joe and Ian had a brawl in the snow, mainly
leaving Ian this time covered in snow. Ritchie performed some more Pushrods
songs acoustically including a couple brand new ones which were hysterical.
He then tried to perform their song "Girls In Vinyl Skirts", and, while he
was attempting to do this, Just Joe was distracting him, dancing beside him,
and doing a strip tease for him. Now of course having this going on from
Just Joe while he was singing a song about girls in vinyl skirts and all the
things he wants to do to and with them, very understandably made Ritchie
very uncomfortable, and he kept cracking up so badly that he finally
abandoned trying to get through the song, as he just couldn't do it. It was
all very amusing. Just Joe and Azkath got into a brawl in which Azkath
pile drove Just Joe onto a chair. And then toward the end of the night a
very interesting development occurred... Just Joe was ranting on about a
couple weeks back when they tricked him into going into the basement and
locked him down there... He was talking about how he had escaped by finding
Dr. Evil's cave and leaving through it. And apparently while he was in the
cave he made an interesting find... A large, strange set of keys... Azkath
told him to give him the keys, and then identified them... Now you will
recall that Armageddon was supposed to fall on May 15th 2002, (almost three
years ago now), and the big lead up to it only to have it not occur... And
the reason it did not occur was because the late, not so great, and
unlamented Zoltan had stolen the Keys to the Apocalypse and then refused to
relinquish them... They had never been able to be successful in getting them
back from him, and, after his demise, what had happened to the keys was
never known. But, now they had turned up in Dr. Evil's cave. No one knew how
or why they were down there, but here they were!! They were only for that
particular Apocalypse, (which it was, of course, too late for), but Azkath
said that he would try to combine them with the Wheel Of Satan (after
working on the wheel to repair it, of course, as it is apparently broken
even though Just Joe still insists that he fixed it when he made it play the
Teletubbies), and see if he can engineer another Apocalypse. So, we shall
all wait in breathless anticipation to see what this will yield! In the last
portion of the show the recording of the band Other's performance from The
Punch Drunk Monkey's 10th anniversary Extravaganza a couple months back was
played in it's entirety. It sounded great and rocked! So that was LE for
last week... Tune in this week... Ritchie and Crow of The Pushrods may both
be there, and perhaps we will learn what progress has been made in bringing
about an apocalypse... Can't wait for that!

*****************************************************

News from Azkath...

Ok, this week on The Metallic Onslaught you will NOT likely hear from
Shoebox. Maybe there should be bets on how long it will be before he
returns again. Also noted on the show last week is that the Refridgerator
of Doom from upstairs was *gone*. That's right, it was gone. Shoebox and
Jeffie sought it out to no avail. Weird...

On The Last Exit, BOTH Crow and Ritchie should be up, as should at some
point later in the night, King Snyder. I am currently working on some new
stuff for the website. You should now be able to go there and see a NEW
section for weekly pictures. Now that I have a quick and easy way to put up
weekly pics, I may do this every week. I have that live journal like thing
up as well, and I may change it to an actual live journal instead of just a
Bravenet version. Not that I have done much with it...
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BOILER NEWS

Howdy ya'll. Will from Boiler here. Most of you do not know
this, but I have been thinking of leaving Ithaca, NY. and Boiler for
some time now. This does not have anything to do with my band mates
J. and Brian. Nor does it have anything to do with Boiler and the
music we make. I love J. and Brian as though they were my brothers.
They are my best friends. I also love the music that Boiler gets to
play for all of the wonderful people who come out to see us show
after show.

There are a couple reasons why I have decided to leave the band
and the town in which I live.

First, I have become extremely frustrated with the music
industry. We as a band have been together since November, 1994. Go
here for our history http://www.boilerny.com/boilerbio.html. We have
done a lot of cool things & have had great times along the way. Go
here for tour stories http://www.boilerny.com/boilertur.html. That
being said, I don't feel like the music industry cares about, well…
music. The bands that you get to hear on the radio are all sounding
more and more the same, while truly great bands like Clutch and
C.O.C. lay in obscurity. While I have in the past tried to set aside
the business part and focus exclusively on the fun aspects of Boiler,
I always find myself getting pissed off at the business side of
things anyway. That's when it becomes not be fun anymore.

Second, I have (through no ones fault but my own) made the
sacrifice of working in a kitchen for the past 10 years so I could
have time to do the work required for having a successful band. No
offence to anyone out there who enjoys being a cook, but I fuckin'
hate it and I won't miss it. On a side note, I was this past year
given a promotion to kitchen manager with a pretty good raise. The
owner of Benchwarmers, Tom, has been really good to me for the past 4
years by giving me the time off that I need for the band, and by
giving me a really great schedule. Aside from the people I work with
and the management, working in a kitchen for me sucks and it's time
to move on.

The third and final reason has mostly to do with the weather.
Some of my best experiences while in Boiler have been on the road in
places like Florida, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia,
etc. The sun is almost always shining. We here in Ithaca hardly ever
see the sun. If you live here, it is very safe to assume that when
you walk out of your door every morning, the sky will be completely
overcast (and chances are that some form of precipitation will be
pissing on you). I don't even care if it's cold, but I need to see
the light every once in a while. As with the kitchen, I won't miss
the weather either.

One of my biggest regrets is that we will not be putting out
another album. There is simply no time to finish writing it, let
alone record and manufacture it. I will also miss all the great fans
that we have had the pleasure of playing for these past 10 plus
years. Thank you so much.

Where am I going? My wife and I have decided to relocate to
Atlanta, GA. (I was just there recently and discovered that the sun
does indeed, still exist).

What's going to happen to Boiler? Well, the band is breaking
up. Brian tells me that he wants to take a break for a while and J.
is not sure what if anything he will do musically.

So, that's that. I just need a fresh start in life and have
been given the opportunity for one. Thanx so much to everyone and I
hope to see ya'll at the last show.



The Last BOILER Show Ever will of course be @
The Haunt - Ithaca, NY.
Friday, Feb. 11
$5 / 18+ / 10:00pm
There will be no opening bands. BOILER will play 2 sets.

http://www.boilerny.com
_____________________________________________________

--------- METAL UPDATE ---------
-- http://www.metalupdate.com --

The Metal Update will deliver a weekly report to your email inbox. To
sign up, go to MetalUpdate.com and click the SUBSCRIBE! link. The Metal
Update is free.

This week's Metal Update went out to over 15,435 subscribers.

-- NEWS --

VICTORY RECORDS
Victory Records reports that three of their bands have charted this week
on Billboard's Top 200: Taking Back Sunday (#113), Hawthorne Heights
(#120), and Straylight Run (#196). Furthermore, four of their bands are
on the Heatseekers chart: Hawthorne Heights (#1), Silverstein (#47), Bury
Your Dead (#96), and Action Action (#111).

DARK TRANQUILLITY
An MP3 of the new single, "Lost to Apathy," has been posted at the Century
Media website. The video for the track is expected to air on Headbangers
Ball and Uranium early next month. Dark Tranquillity's new album,
'Character,' will be released in the U.S. on January 25th.

MERCENARY
Mercenary has received Album of the Year, Vocalist of the Year, and
Guitarist of the Year honors from the Danish Metal Awards. Their winning
album '11 Dreams' will be released in the U.S. on February 8th.

DEVILINSIDE
Drummer Dan Johnson (ex-With Dead Hands Rising), vocalist Joe Talbot
(Richard Pryor on Fire), and bassist Patrick Morris (Demonicon) have been
added to the lineup. Devilinside will begin touring with Suffocation in
February, continue touring in March in support for Cryptopsy.

SYSTEM OF A DOWN
The band is currently mixing their two-disc set entitled,
"Mesmerize/Hypnotize," with Andy Wallace. The first disc is expected to
be released in the Spring, with the second disc being released six months
later.

NEW SIGNINGS
Deepsend Records: Whispering Gallery, VLE
Displeased Records: Cobalt
Dressed to Kill Records: The Divining
Ibex Moon Records: Thornafire
InsideOut Music America: Shadow Gallery
Iron Pegazus: Mortem
Magick Records: Icarus Witch, Astarte, Throes Of Dawn, Shade Empire, Opera
IX
Martyr Records: A Suburban Blood Drive
Pluto Records: Divide the Day
Steamhammer/SPV: Hatesphere
Trustkill Records: BEDlight for Blue EYES

FOR MORE NEWS GO TO:
http://www.metalupdate.com

-- HELP WANTED --

VOCALIST wanted - Vehemence is now in search for a new vocalist. Longtime
vocalist/lyricist Nathan Gearhart has stepped down due to family
obligations, and we now need a powerful frontman to fill his shoes. He
will be missed, but at the same time we are excited to have some new blood
in the band. We are currently looking for someone who will be fully
committed to shows, practices, and tours and must have great stage
presence. We DO NOT want a Nathan clone, and would prefer someone who can
bring something new to our sound. No matter what 'scene' you are from, if
you are an extreme metal vocalist, get in touch! The goal is to expand,
and reach a wider audience with our new vocalist so if you are interested,
please email vehemence@...

DRUMMER wanted - Chicago death metal band Gorgasm, is looking for a new
drummer. We are looking for someone who is serious about music and is
ready, willing and able to tour all over the world. Contact
gorgasmusic@...

DRUMMER wanted - New York based black metal band ASH are seeking a
full-time member for studio and live work. The band's music can be
described as raw, hateful black metal in the vein of Darkthrone, Ulver,
Dawn, and Khold. Interested parties should contact Narg at
slaughtersun2003@...
ARTIST wanted - San Diego True Metal band Skelator has begun recording
their self-produced
EP, "SWORDS." Any good metal album cover artists should contact
SkelatorsRedOmen@...

BASSIST, DRUMMER & GUITARIST wanted - New York based MAHAVATAR, featuring
Jamaican guitarist Karla Williams and Israeli vocalist Lizza Hayson, will
release their debut album Go With The NO! on February 15th through Cruz
del Sur Music. The ladies are currently looking for a new bass player,
drummer and rhythm guitarist to fill Mahavatar's ranks. Contact can be
made at info@....

DRUMMER & KEYBOARDIST wanted - Magick Records recording artist, ICARUS
WITCH is auditioning for full time drummer & keyboardist willing to write,
rehearse, record & tour. Based in Pittsburgh, PA this true metal band's
influences are classic Dio, Maiden, Priest, Queensryche, Rainbow, etc.
Serious inquires email jmyers@...
___________________________________________________________

For Immediate Release:
OVERKILL TO RELEASE 14TH STUDIO ALBUM RELIXIV
ON EAGLE ROCK/SPITFIRE RECORDS MARCH 22nd

It’s been a long road for Overkill. With 2005 marking the 20 year
anniversary of their first record deal signing, and 14 full length studio
albums under their belt, they have seen and done it all and are still
creating high quality thrash metal music.

When you think of the New York/New Jersey thrash/metal scene of the 80’s and
90’s you think of bands like Anthrax, Biohazard, Carnivore and Nuclear
Assault. These bands were known for being down to earth. The kind of people
you would expect to meet on the street or at a bar. Overkill are no
exception. These New Jersey natives have always been the definition of
“blue-collar” thrash metal, and they continue to present high-quality,
no-frills, solid working-class thrash on their latest album ReliXIV. “We’re
the real deal, and always have been. We feel that we have a common ground
with our fans and we understand where they are coming from and in turn they
understand us” says vocalist Bobby “Blitz” Ellsworth.

ReliXIV is entirely self-produced by the band. “We’ve been putting out
records for a while now and we’ve been paying attention. By now, we know how
to do it ourselves,” says Blitz. “We wanted a dirty sound. We don’t want
something that is over-produced. I think that in 2005, less can be more, it’
s performance vs. process.” Indeed, Overkill are masterful when it comes to
bringing their live ferocity to the recording studio. “We just push the
record button and it all comes out. We try to bring the same attitude to the
record as we do on stage”

The core creative team of Ellsworth and bassist D.D. Verni has kept Overkill
rolling fast and hard for over 20 years. “D.D. builds the house and I put
the roof on” says Blitz. “When you listen to an Overkill record, you can
recognize the band before I even open my mouth. I just put the icing on the
cake.”

In regard to the metal scene and image today, Blitz says “I’ve always
thought the devil is more dangerous when you can’t recognize him. Metal is
extreme, the more the better, but you have to do it tastefully.” Overkill
live up to their own standards, rather than mimicking and following in
others’ footsteps: “We are a listening band. We are always aware of what
else is going on in the music world, and I’m sure it influences us, but we
have to make ourselves happy, and do what we think is best. Change in music
is a good thing and this record is about where we’re headed and where we’ve
been. It’s introspective and personal. I’m not trying to make a big
political statement, just saying what I feel.”

With the closing track “Old School,” Overkill’s ode to their early days in
the business, it becomes clear that this band have paid their dues and still
know how to enjoy themselves. Blitz says, “We actually got (hard rock radio
personality) Eddie Trunk and George Parente, who used to manage us and ran L
’amours (the infamous club in Brooklyn that helped put Overkill on the map)
to appear on that song. It’s about where we started. It takes us back to our
punk rock days. I remember pogo-ing to the Ramones before I was stage diving
with Slayer.” This nod to their past has always been a part of Overkill:
building something new, while never abandoning what they already have built.
“We have made an unwitting, unknowing progression without forgetting our
roots.”

A complete track listing for ReliXIV includes:

Within Your Eyes
Love
Loaded Rack
Bats In The Belfry
A Pound Of Flesh
Keeper
Wheelz
The Mark
Play The Ace
Old School
___________________________________________________

NEWS FROM THE END RECORDS

Here are some current updates. I will bring you more up to date news next
week. Thanks for a great 2004, and lets get ready to make 2005 AMAZING!

Crisis
New Drummer
Crisis will be making the announcement of their new drummer very soon. He is
due to arrive in L.A. on the 11th. Crisis is also filming another video for
“Waking The Dead” on the 16th (tentative). Also look for the Crisis to hit
the road again very soon.

Novembers Doom
Upcoming Album
Novembers Doom – The Pale Haunt Departure is due out on March 8th 2005. In
January they will be filming the first video for the new CD, and it is the
title track, “The Pale Haunt Departure.”

Unexpect
Upcoming Release
Unexpect is going into the studio Monday the 10th to begin recording their
next record. The band is geared up to record an even more experimental and
off the wall album than “wE, invaders”. This will definitely be a treat for
the open minded!

The Gathering
General update from the Gathering camp:
“Well, The Gathering is currently in a sleepy modus as it comes to touring,
but we are writing new songs for our next album, which will be out in 2006..
We will start recording somewhere autumn 2005.. It is always difficult to
label the music already, as a lot of things can and will change, but it’s
more organic, more pure, and more guitar orientated than ‘Souvenirs’. We
will record together with Attie Bauw again (How to measure a planet?). We
are currently planning the recording and release of a DVD this year, a semi
acoustic concert which will be recorded in Holland somewhere spring this
year.. It will be full of documentaries, rare (old) footage, of course a
concert, etc. In 2006 we will record a ‘normal’ rock show, due for a second
DVD.”

Sculptured
Future release
"After much anxiety, disillusionment, frustration, rewriting, relocating, a
marriage, a Masters degree, recording “The Mantle,” Agalloch tours, etc.,
Sculptured are currently writing new music for their third full-length
album. The band hopes to enter the studio late next year as songwriter and
guitarist/vocalist Don Anderson is still wrapping up his studies at the
university. The music will be a move forward from “Apollo Ends” and will
continue to expand the harmonic vocabulary of Metal. Current song titles
include; “The Shape of Rage,” “Bodies Without Organs,” and “Help, I’ve
Swallowed My Teeth.” The line-up will remain the same, however the status of
brass instruments is unknown. The band wishes to thank everyone for being
patient and remaining supportive." Don Anderson

Winds
Upcoming Release
Upcoming Winds album progress:
As previously posted the recording of the drums took place back in August,
and the last few months have been spent working occasionally on arrangements
and ideas for Winds, but also on other projects. Carl has finished the long
awaited Tritonus album, and they are currently looking at offers from
labels. Jan Axel has been busy playing shows and also in the studio working
on various projects. Lars has recently produced the new Gloria Morti album
and he has also done some vocal performances for a band called Before The
Dawn. Andy has been working on new Age of Silence material together with the
other members of that band. Beginning in a few weeks Carl plans to enter the
studio to start the guitar recordings, which will continue throughout the
next several months as there is a lot of work to be done, and it will also
be a very elaborate and time consuming process due to the nature of the
material Winds is currently working on.
___________________________________________

HAUNTED BY ANGELS NEWS

Haunted By Angels is blazing into 2005 with all cylinders firing. Right now
the band could use everyones help by purchasing the bands current CD. Since
the band is independent, sales of the current CD will help fund the new CD
being recorded now. So if you haven't yet gotten your copy, the call is out
now, get yours today. Links to purchase the CD are in this email or you can
email us back and we will tell you how to get your copy offline. ;-)

On with the news:

We are currently seeking a permanent bassist. If you are interested in the
position, please email us back or call 607.331.1700 to find out more. Leave
a detailed msg with your call.

DISTRIBUTION: Haunted By Angels CD "Season of Death" CD is now available at
the following online music sites:
Apple iTunes
Napster.com
MP3.com
13 more major companies are slated to carry the CD within the next month.

PHOTOS: New photos from the final month of 2004 touring will be up soon.
Keep checking back

ENDORSEMENT: Haunted Guitarist Andy has been granted an Artist Endorsement
from Brian Moore Guitars. See THIS LINK to check out his bio on the Brian
Moore Website. Earlier this year Andy commissioned BMG to build him a
custom guitar. "Brian Moore Guitars builds the best playing guitars in the
world, and I am happy to be with them." says Andy, "They were the only
company that could build a guitar that was not only beautiful but, could do
all the things I needed it to do in one guitar. I asked them to build me
the guitar of my dreams and Brian Moore Guitars nailed it dead!".
______________________________________________________

January 10th, 2005
For Immediate Release

HIGH ON FIRE ANNOUNCE U.S. HEADLINING TOUR

Relapse Records recording artists HIGH ON FIRE have announced their
first headlining tour of 2005 in support of their forthcoming new album,
Blessed Black Wings. HIGH ON FIRE will kick off a three week trek beginning
February 4th at the Knitting Factory in Los Angeles, CA. The tour is
expected to conclude on February 24th in Salt Lake City, UT with additional
dates pending.

Support on the HIGH ON FIRE tour will be provided by PLANES MISTAKEN FOR
STARS and KYLESA. Immediately following, HIGH ON FIRE (drummer Des Kensel,
guitarist / vocalist Matt Pike and bassist Joe Preston [ex-MELVINS]) will
make a high profile appearance as part of the 2005 Noise Pop Festival in San
Francisco, where the band will perform alongside acts such as THE POLYPHONIC
SPREE, AMON TOBIN and THE FUCKING CHAMPS.

HIGH ON FIRE's Blessed Black Wings is set for a February 1st U.S.
release date via Relapse. The follow up to the band's critically acclaimed
Surrounded By Thieves was recorded at Chicago's Electrical Audio Studios
with engineer Steve Albini (NIRVANA, NEUROSIS, JESUS LIZARD). The final
track listing for Blessed Black Wings is "Devilution", "The Face of
Oblivion", "Brother In The Wind", "Cometh Down Hessian", "Blessed Black
Wings", "Anointing of Seer", "To Cross the Bridge", "Silver Back" and "Sons
Of Thunder".

HIGH ON FIRE are available for interviews / tour previews upon request.
The band will be in the Relapse office Tuesday, January 18th through Friday,
January 21st (10 AM - 7:00 PM EST) to speak with interested persons. To
speak with the band / attend a live performance, simply contact Dean
Edington at Relapse Records via any of the means listed at the bottom of
this message.

Updated HIGH ON FIRE news and tour information will be made available via
the Relapse Records website: www.RELAPSE.com

"Exhilarating" - DECIBEL

"HIGH ON FIRE are either the new BLACK SABBATH or the new MOTORHEAD --
or both -- depending on who you ask" - ALTERNATIVE PRESS

"HIGH ON FIRE is the sludgy resin from 30 years of super-hard-rock
history transubstantiated into three men from Oakland with low-slung
jeans" - NEW YORK TIMES

Relapse Records and DECIBEL Magazine proudly present:

HIGH ON FIRE - "Blessed Black Wings" Tour 2005
(Support on all dates from PLANES MISTAKEN FOR STARS and KYLESA unless
otherwise noted):
February 4 Hollywood, CA Knitting Factory
February 5 Tempe, AZ Big Fish Pub
February 6 Albuquerque, NM Launch Pad
February 8 Austin, TX Emo's
February 9 Houston, TX Fat Cat's
February 10 New Orleans, LA TwiRoPa
February 11 Memphis, TN Young Ave Deli
February 12 Atlanta, GA The E.A.R.L.
February 13 Hickory, NC Wizard Saloon
February 14 Baltimore, MD Otto Bar
February 15 Philadelphia, PA First Unitarian Church
February 16 New York, NY Bowery Ballroom
February 18 Columbus, OH Scully's Music Diner
February 19 Detroit, MI Alvin's
February 20 Chicago, IL Bottom Lounge
February 21 Minneapolis, MN 7th Street Entry
February 23 Denver, CO Cervantes Ballroom
February 24 Salt Lake City, UT Burt's Tiki (w/ Kylesa)
February 26 San Francisco, CA 12 Galaxies (w/The Fucking Champs,
Kylesa as part of Noise Pop 2005)
__________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, Jan 14: Others, Nancy, Fist Her Face 55 (Reunion), and Rushmores (from
Chicago) at The East Coast Terminal, 44 Corliss ave. Johnson City N.Y. (7pm
/ $5.00 / All Ages)

Fri, Jan 14: Chandice, Swath, Kar Wreck (NYC), and Others (12:30) at The
Downtown Quarterback, 115 Washington Ave. Endicott ($4.00 / 18 & up / Doors
8:30) This show is being recorded for a later Radio broadcast, so come on
out and make your voices heard...

Sat, Jan 15: The Witching and Papa Muse at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, Jan 15: H20, Stretch Arm Strong, With Honor, and Dead Hearts at The
Icon, Buffalo

Sat, Jan 15: Nick Fuoco Winter Show Festival with If Man Is Five, Tempter,
Gold Ethl, King Snyder, Black Labeled, Others, and One Hitters at The
Icehouse, 15 Charlotte Street, Binghamton (10 Kegs and Contests)

Wed, Jan 19: Candiria, FireBorn, Thoughts Lost, and Stemm at The Icon,
Buffalo (Doors: 7:00pm - $10 day of show only Day of show only)

Sat, Jan 22: Walls Of Jericho, Bury Your Dead, Full Blown Chaos, and
Premonitions Of War at The Icon, Buffalo

Tues, Jan 25: The Pushrods at The Bug Jar, Rochester

Wed, Jan 26: The Pushrods, The Actual Facts, Ready Set Fall, and The Donger
at Castaways, Ithaca

Wed, Feb 9: 18 Visions, Emery, Remembering Never, Inferis, and Misery
Signals at The Icon, Buffalo

The Last BOILER Show Ever will of course be @ The Haunt - Ithaca, NY.
Friday, Feb. 11 - $5 / 18+ / 10:00pm
There will be no opening bands. BOILER will play 2 sets.

Sun, Feb 13: Crowbar and Entombed at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Fri, Jan 21: King Snyder, Dog Fashion Disco, Indirect Threat, and Catatonik
at The Haunt, Ithaca (9pm/Ages 18+/$7)

Fri, Feb 25: Suffocation and Behemoth at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Tues, April 5: Soilwork, Dark Tranquility, Hypocrisy, and Mnenic at The
Icon, Buffalo

Thurs, May 12: Kreator, Death Angel, Vader, and If Hope Dies at The Penny
Arcade, Rochester
___________________________________________________________

If you're getting this, it's because your band is on this list, or a band
you manage is on this list, or a band that you are working with in some way
is on this list... If this is not true, please let us know.

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: January 9, 2005
Every Saturday at Midnight till 6am Sunday Morning
93.5FM / 105.5FM Ithaca, NY - Also available via Realaudio
Metal Director: Carl Schmidt aka Seriah Azkath
Mailing Address: PoBox 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224
Web Page: http://www.thelastexit.org
WVBR Webpage: http://wvbr.com
(R) = Requested

Fates Warning "Shades of a Heavenly Death"
Necromis "Phantom"
Tristania "Endogenesis"
In Slaughter Natives "You are the Dead"
Others - Acoustic
Matriarch "Avalonia"
Worm Quartet "Map Light"
The Pushrods "We're So Successful"
If Man is Five "Body Count"
Jello Biafra with The Melvins "McGruff the Crime Dog"
Black Labeled "Kill the Pepsi Generation"
Others "Stitch - Acoustic"
The Witching "Got Me Running"
Divinity Destroyed "Void"
Kreator "Voices of the Dead"
Nocturne "Digit"
Others "Saturday Night - Acoustic"
Frantic Bleep "The Expulsion"
Nightwish "Nemo"
The Plank Boys "What I Deserve"
Others "Not a Word - Acoustic"
A Call to Arms "In Accordance with Cataracts and Portside Affairs"
Vintersorg "Dark Matter Mystery - Blackbody Spectrum"
Falkenbach "Homeward Shore"
The Haunted "Burnt to the Shell" (R)
Arch Enemy "Dead Eyes See No Future"
Area 51 "Communion"
Cruachan "Ossians Return"
In Slaughter Natives "Ashes of Angels"
The Pushrods " Help Me Doctor Phil / Making Love in the Restroom - Acoustic"
Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles "It was the Tits" (R)
inRed "Paparazzi"
Yyrkoon "Trapped Into Life"
Wintersun "Beautiful Death"

** MySpace.com Pick of the Night **
30 Caliber "It's Gone Black"

Anthrax "NFL"
Dio "Evil Eyes" (R)
Tenacious D "Dio" (R)
Grave Digger "We Rock"

** Tribute to the Past Block **
Fields of the Nephilim "Chord of Souls"
Deicide "Carnage in the Temple of the Damned"
Poison Idea "Plastic Bomb"
Savatage "Warriors"
Malevolent Creation "Monster"

Inherance "Blood for Honor"
Pile of Heads "The Art of Suffering"
20 Ripped Angel "Never Ending Joy"
Pushrods "Girls are Perverts Too - Acoustic" (R)
Frantic Bleep "...But a Memory"
The Plank Boys "Drinking Song from the Tomb"
Frost "Lack of Communication"
Autumn "Silent Madness"
Catamenia "Flames"
Theatres Des Vampires "The Jester's Shadows"
The Sins of Thy Beloved "All Alone"
Darkwell "Conflict of Interest"
VNV Nation "Saviour - Live"

Others - Live Dec 3, 2004 The Downtown Quarterback, Endicott NY
____________________________________________

TOP STRANGE STORIES

--------------- A Lake By Any Other Name... ----------------

LAKE STEVENS, Wash. - This is what happens when someone at
the Census Bureau has too much time on his or her hands.
About 25 miles northeast of Seattle is a body of water known
as Bevis Lake. At least, it was known by that name until
recently, when it began appearing in Bureau records with a
different moniker: Butthead Lake. The names Bevis and
Butthead are practically identical to the 1990s MTV cartoon
show "Beavis and Butt-head," which featured two teenagers
who watched music videos and made bad jokes. According to
Ken Brown, a land surveyor with the state Department of
Natural Resources, a Census Bureau employee must have
gotten bored and made a joke out of naming the lake. "It's
got to be," he said.
________________________________________________

From Infernal Combustion.com

ANSELMO: HEAVY METAL GODDAMN MEDIA TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING EVER

Former Pantera vocalist Philip Anselmo recently released a videotaped
statement expressing his sorrow and anger at the death of his former
bandmate, Dimebag Darrell Abbott. In the statement, he blamed "the heavy
metal goddamn media" for breaking up the multiplatinum band and, presumably,
indirectly causing Abbott's murder.

While grieving fans have criticized Anselmo for his long silence before
issuing his statement, Infernal Combustion can exclusively reveal that the
vocalist was working hard during those turbulent days after the shooting at
the Al Rosa Villa in Columbus, Ohio. After weeks of painstaking research and
sounding out the big words, Anselmo has crayoned a damning report, blasting
the heavy metal goddamn media for virtually every wrong, slight, injustice,
murder, and stubbed toe in the history of the world.

The report has been sent to the highest levels of the U.S. government for
study, with no less a figure than President George W. Bush reportedly
commenting on Anselmo's "awesome use of all 64 crayons." However, Infernal
Combustion has been able to obtain some snippets of the report, and
reproduces them here with the intent of shining the light of truth on the
heavy metal goddamn media, once and for all:

1865: Deranged fan John Wilkes Booth assassinates President Abraham Lincoln
at Ford's Theater, during a performance of "Our American Cousin" (widely
considered to be a prequel to Ronnie James Dio's Magica trilogy). Booth, a
subscriber to The Hon. Dr. McGillicuddy's Young Gentle-man's Quarterly
Investigation and Instigative Review of Musick Pertaining to Heavy Mettle,
As Delivered Diligently By Fast Horse, was reportedly angry with Lincoln for
breaking up the Confederacy, and was obsessed with the "war of words" in the
goddamn media between Lincoln and his estranged colleagues.

1917: As the S.S. Titanic sailed on its maiden voyage, heavy metal goddamn
reporter Oscar Blatherskite was aboard. Several eyewitness accounts report
"a series of fisticuffs, followed by loud drunken singing and the crashing
of glass" in the captain's quarters. Just before the ship struck the fateful
iceberg, a voice was heard to say "c'mon, lemme take the wheel for a minute!
Pleeeeeeeease? I'll give you my advance promo Edison canister of the new
Motorhead..."

1945: Adolf Hitler's charred body is found in a Berlin bunker by victorious
Allied troops. The Nazi leader apparently took his own life after receiving
a telegram from the Los Angeles offices of Rip-Roarin' Toot-Toot-Tootsie
Hoo-ray! magazine (later shortened to Rip). Soldiers reported finding a
series of similar telegrams in Hitler's files, which indicated that the
goddamn magazine's editors taught Hitler much of what he knew. In one
exchange, the tyrant wired to the magazine:

WHAT IS MEANING OF PAIN STOP

The chilling reply:

AUSCHWITZ STOP

These telegrams were later classified by the CIA, which today denies their
existence.

1966: Clive Cholmondley-Squidge, founder and editor of former "Beatlemania"
fanzine Terrorizer, introduces John Lennon to Yoko Ono at a cocktail party.

1984: Heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne, desperate to appear fashionable and
"with it," calls Hustler movie critic and future Rip goddamn editor Lonn
Friend, who takes him shopping and creates this look:

1992: Hurricane Andrew slams into southern Florida, causing record-setting
devastation and loss of life. According to eyewitness reports, members of
Florida bands Malevolent Creation, Crimson Glory, and Hellwitch had all
recently reported that Metal Edge magazine and its then-editor, Gerri
Miller, "totally blow." "Obviously, no one knew how much they could blow, or
a major tradjidy coulda been avioded," Anselmo's report concludes.

November 2004: Chaos erupts in Ukraine after national elections are marred
by massive voter fraud. According to a picture drawn by Anselmo, Metal
Maniacs editor Liz Ciavarella was seen skulking around several polling
places in the capitol of Kiev, stuffing ballot boxes with "win the new
Frantic Bleep CD" ballots torn from her magazine. Though Anselmo's rendering
shows Ciavarella to be three-legged and taller than most of Kiev's skyline,
experts have verified the drawing as "genuine."

December 29, 2004: After nodding off in the living room, Anselmo awakens to
find the Salisbury steak TV dinner he put in the oven three hours ago
charred and burnt beyond recognition. Anselmo blames Metal Edge editor Paul
Gargano, "'cuz it seems like some shit that motherfuckin' cunt would pull.
The heavy metal goddamn media has killed this dinner, man. Right down to the
apple brown betty."

Representatives of the heavy metal goddamn media were busy slipping vials of
dysentery into tsunami victims' water supplies, and were unavailable for
comment.

- Keith Bergman
_____________________________________

SATYRICON GAINS POPULARITY IN DATE-RAPE SCENE

The metal world was shocked last month by the arrest of Satyricon touring
members Steinar Gunderson and Arnt Gronbech in Toronto. The musicians were
accused of giving a female fan a "date rape" drug and sexually assaulting
her on their tour bus after a December 15 concert.

And while most of the extreme music scene waits anxiously for justice to be
meted out by the Canadian courts, a group of fans new to black metal are
claiming Satyricon as their own.

"Dude, those guys ROCK!" shouts Petey "Kegger" Borgerson, national chairman
of the Kappa Sigma Epsilon fraternity. "I mean, I usually get into the heavy
stuff - I like me some Disturbed, and one time I moshed really hard at a
Dave Matthews show and I totally pissed this old hippie bitch off. But when
you know that a band shares the same worldview as you, and is just as good
at spiking glasses and grabbing asses, well, you almost have to like 'em!"

Borgerson, who saw sixteen of his fraternity houses shut down nationwide in
2004 over charges of underage alcohol consumption, sexual assault, and
excessive high-fiving, says Satyricon have been voted "honorary brothers,"
and that donation canisters originally meant for Asian tsunami victims are
now being used for a legal defense fund for Gunderson and Gronbech. "I mean,
we didn't take the pictures of the dead slope kids off the cans, or
anything," Borgerson winked, tapping his forehead and winking slyly. "We're
just sorta, you know, making the switch behind the scenes."

Borgerson was then transfixed by a repeat showing of Animal House on the TBS
cable network, and refused further comment.

Others are just as enthusiastic in their newfound fandom.

"Hell yeah, SATYRICON!!!! WHOOOOO!!! Them niggas is my boys!" bellowed 2005
NBA first-round draft pick Lajohn Stevenson. "I dunno what the hell they're
singin' about, you can't really make it out, but I bet it's all like 'let's
get back to the hotel party, get you out of them hot pants shorty...' I
ain't been this into a new group since R. Kelly's one video came out."
Stevenson, currently under house arrest and awaiting trial on statutory rape
and assault charges in Detroit, is expected to make $12.6 million next year.

Satyricon has been the hot topic among a variety of divergent groups across
the country, united only by their love for date-raping. Predatory rave kids,
urban street gang members, slimy middle-aged single traveling salesmen and
even a few Catholic priests now count themselves as fans of the band's
abrasive "black metal" sound.

According to the National Truckstop Owners Association, requests for
Satyricon have been flooding in. "No one really tracks record sales among
serial-killing long-haul drivers," commented NTOA president Wiffley
Snidegarb. "But I do know that many of our dealers have been stocking the
band's Volcano and Nemesis Divina albums on cassette tape, and their split
'best of' CD with Jerry Reed has been going like hotcakes. Delicous,
rohypnol-and-blueberry-syrup-coated hotcakes.

"Speaking of which - oh, hey, I have some right here!" Snidegarb exclaimed,
licking his lips nervously and adjusting his large "Don't Mess With Texas"
belt buckle provocatively. "You hungry? You want some? Come on, take a bite.
Take one!!"

Amid the band's growing popularity among date-rapers, industry voices are
pleading for calm.

"Let's be serious here for a minute," commented eatURmusic founder and
System of a Down guitarist Daron Malakian. "Treating this situation lightly
is the worst thing any of us could do. The personal rights of everyone on
earth, regardless of race, age, sex, creed, religion, or propensity to
engage in groupie behavior on tour buses, are non-negotiable and more
important than anything to me. Get real, man -- rape is just not funny.

"And neither are these sales figures, dude," he continued. "Less than 10,000
copies sold in the US? Who the hell is Cradle of Filth blowing to move so
many units? I mean, I told these guys that the key to making some sales was
getting Goth chicks into them, not them getting in to Goth chicks!"

- Keith Bergman
_______________________________________

FROM BBSPOT.com

U.S. Pledges $350 Million and Magical Unicorns for Tsunami Relief
By Matt Roffman

Washington D.C. - To help with the Indian Ocean Tsunami disaster, the Untied
State pledged $350 million dollars plus 10 herds of the finest magical
Unicorns to help with the disaster.

President Bush spoke of the significance of the United States contribution,
"This money will help the South Pacificans rebuild their infrastructure, and
these special, magical unicorns will till the land magically, bringing it
back to life and prosperity."

World opinion has gone against the Unites State's promised contribution. An
unnamed Indian official's comments showed skepticism that the U.S. would
keep its commitment, "magical Unicorns are fine but I have more trouble
believing that America will make good on its promise of the full $350
million. In times of crisis, such nations often come up with aid pledges
that they don't deliver on once the media attention has died down."

There was also some concern the U.S. contribution to the relief effort is
not enough, especially because of a much larger contribution pledge by Japan
of 500 million dollars plus 10,000 burrowing gnomes to aid with the rubble
clearing. "At least the Japanese have the nerve to lie to us on a much
grander scale," said the Indian official.

The devastated countries of the Indian Ocean region have good precedent to
worry about the sincerity of promised financial aid. Of the 1.1 billion
promised to Iran after their earthquake last year, about 17.5 million has
materialized... and the magic beans were apparently a complete joke.
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...