The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - February 18, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** RECAPS FROM FIRE EATER WIZARD **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Jeffie arrived and informed everyone that he now
realized that, not only was he personally and single-handedly responsible
for all of MO and everything and everyone on it, but that he was also
personally and single-handedly responsible for the entire universe and every
single thing in it, that, yes, he is God. Or at very least, Godlike. Then
he and Lance got into a brawl using a can of hairspray among other things.
They kept trying to spray it into each other's eyes and faces. (the hair
spray, that is., I know how your minds work) :p Lance asked Jeffie why he
had blush and butt beads in his bag (heh, heh, heh, heh, I said bag!).
Jeffie told Lance that he had brought those for him. There were more brawls,
some of them involving the hairspray again, as well as CD's. So, another
night filled with brawling and beat downs... Jeffie said that he will not be
on MO this week, as he will be attending the concert of his new friends (at
least in his mind they are his friends, I doubt if they feel the same way)
The Pushrods. That plus I'm sure being responsible for the entire universe
and everything and everyone in it must keep one very busy. So, of course,
Jeffie thinks that, since he won't be there, there can't be any show at all,
but, of course, there will be. So tune in...

On The Last Exit: The band If Man Is Five did finally stop by the show...
However, they were having lots of problems that night, and were broken, so,
unfortunately, they were not able to go on air, just stopped in briefly to
explain this. So, another time... Ritchie and Crow of The Pushrods were both
there, as was Just Joe. They have come up with a new concept which they hope
to make a regular thing (or as regular as anything can be on LE)... It's
called The Just Joe's Challenge, and it goes like this... When they do it,
they will come up with a task for Just Joe to perform, and, if he is
successful, he will get some kind of reward, like being able to hear his
favorite bands, or something. This week his first task was relatively
easy... He was supposed to distract Ritchie while he was trying to perform a
song, and keep him from getting through it. This, of course, was not too
hard, even with the stipulations... Which were that he could not touch
Ritchie at all to distract him... Still, he succeeded quite easily, he got
right up in his face and tried to feed him a cupcake. It worked. And so that
was Just Joe's first challenge, which went quite well for him. I'm sure that
his future tasks will be harder... After all, distracting Ritchie... Ritchie
can get distracted when noone is trying to distract him. Besides, he is
getting used to trying to play through Just Joe's antics. Ritchie performed
many songs throughout the night. And, in the final portion of the show, we
got to hear the entire performance of the band The Witching from The Xtreme
Soundscapes DVD release show back in November. It sounded great and rocked!
Tune in this week to find out what may go on...
_____________________________________________

News from Azkath...

No clue what is planned for The Metallic Onslaught, but who knows, maybe
they will try and fill the void of the missing Jeffie with someone else...
Or maybe not. And maybe Jeffie will wear a vinyl skirt and dance onstage
with The Pushrods. Let us ALL hope not. But if YOU want to go and wear a
vinyl skirt and dance onstage, feel free, we are shooting it for their
upcoming Girls in Vinyl Skirts video. This will of course be at The Haunt
in Ithaca, with Indira and King's Jealousy. Doors are at 9.

At the Last Exit this week, yeah, I have nothing special planned yet.
Ritchie should be there, and maybe some other regulars, but nothing special
as of yet. Then again, I still have a couple days, so let's see what
happens.

This is worth a look, we have played this band Beatallica before, and they
combine Metallica and Beatles songs together in a weird parody, and now they
are being sued... www.beatallica.org

Webpage stuff: No real pics from last week's shows, so instead I uploaded
all the pics from the Sticker Mummy night back in September...

Ok, off to the rest of the news...
_______________________________________________

--------- METAL UPDATE ---------
-- http://www.metalupdate.com --

The Metal Update will deliver a weekly report to your email inbox. To
sign up, go to MetalUpdate.com and click the SUBSCRIBE! link. The Metal
Update is free.

This week's Metal Update went out to over 15,640 subscribers.

-- NEWS --

CRYPTOPSY
Guitarist Jon Levasseur has announced that after 10 years in the band he
is leaving Cryptopsy. In his statement he expressed a desire to "step
back, lay low and explore other things in music." Levasseur also praised
his former band stating, "I consider myself extremely fortunate to have
broken through boundaries with some of the best musicians in the
business." The band has announced that Dan Mongrain (Martyr) will fill in
as the second guitarist for the dates on their upcoming tour.

SENTENCED
The band has announced that their new album, which will be entitled 'The
Funeral Album,' will be the final record from the band. Sentenced stated
in the announcement, "This album will be our last one. The decision is
mutual, thoroughly thought over and final." The statement further
explained that the decision was made in 2004 for many reasons and the band
would play an "undefined number of farewell shows." A live DVD of the
final shows is planned.

LAMB OF GOD
Lamb of God has been banned from The Forum in Los Angeles. The owners of
the venue, The Faithful Central Bible Church, reportedly decided to ban
Lamb of God because of their name as well as their previous name, Burn the
Priest. Due to the ban, the band will be unable to perform on the L.A.
stop of the 'Subliminal Verses' tour with Slipknot and Shadows Fall.

MEGADETH
Dave Mustaine is asking fans to help determine the tracks chosen for the
upcoming Greatest Hits release. Fans are instructed to use this link to
visit the megadeth.com forum:
http://forums.megadeth.com/forumdisplay.php?s=1cdae2936010c7807d087938c1d4fd
e8&daysprune=&f=43
then follow the instructions posted on the "sticky" thread in the forum to
vote for their choices.

NOCTURNAL RITES
Nocturnal Rites will headline "Demons of the Opera," a two day event
planned for the evenings of April 1st and 2nd. The event will take place
at the opera house in Umea, Sweden and will be highlighted by the band's
performance with a 50 piece philharmonic orchestra, conducted by Hans Ek.
According to the statement, two other bands, Persuader and 6th Awakening,
will also share the stage with the orchestra, with other bands also
performing "the good old fashioned way." Nocturnal Rites are currently
working on material for a new album and have just finished shooting their
third video from 'New World Messiah.' 'Lost in Time: The Early Years of
Nocturnal Rites,' a collection celebrating the band's 10 year anniversary,
is set for release on February 21st.

BLOODBATH
Bloodbath has been confirmed to make an exclusive appearance at Wacken
Open Air 2005. This will be the first live performance by the Swedish
death metal supergroup. Their latest release, Nightmares Made Flesh' will
be released in the U.S. on March 8th.

KATAKLYSM
Kataklysm has been nominated for "Favorite Metal Artist/Group" by the
Canadian Independent Music Awards. The awards will be presented at the
Phoenix Concert Theatre in Toronto, Ontario, on March 2nd. Other nominees
in the category were: The End, Malefaction, The Reason, and Three Inches
of Blood. Kataklsym will begin their tour with Danzig on February 18th.

NIGHTWISH
Nightwish has announced they will delay their North American tour, which
had been scheduled for April and May. The postponement was caused by solo
commitments in Scandinavia for their vocalist, Tarja Turman. The dates
will be rescheduled for September and October. A video single, "NEMO,"
will be released on April 4th.

CHUCK SCHULDINER
Manic Music has pledged a portion of their proceeds from the direct
wholesale/mailorder sales of Chuck Schuldiner's 'Zero Tolerance' to The
American Cancer Society. The two-disc set, which includes the unfinished
Control Denied tracks Chuck was working on at the time of his death, will
be available in the U.S. on February 22nd.

VEHEMENCE
Vehemence has chosen Sean Vandgrift (ex-From a Second Story Window) as
their now vocalist. They will debut their new vocalist in April when they
begin a tour with Crematorium, The Red Death, and Losa. Their west coast
run in March with Thine Eyes Bleed, will feature temporary vocalist Bryan
Edwards (Clifton).

VISCERAL BLEEDING
Neurotic Records will be reissuing Visceral Bleeding's debut album,
'Remnants of Deprivation' under the title 'Remnants Revived.' Scott Hull
has remastered the recording, which will be issued with three extra songs
and four video tracks. The release is set for April 18th. The band is
scheduled to begin a week-long tour of the UK in May, followed by an
appearance at the Rotterdam Deathfest on May 14th.


NEW SIGNINGS
Agonia Records: Feldgrau, Sathanas, Adorior
CDN Records: Bowels Out
Century Media: Agents of Man, Brand New Sin
Crash Music: Metalium
Deathwish: Blacklisted
Dockyard 1: After All
Dynamic Arts Records: Sear
Galy Records: Beneath the Massacre, Camilla Rhodes
Karmageddon Media: Axamenta
Rising Realm Records: Hateframe
Tribunal Records: Slowmotion Apocalypse
Trustkill Records: Fight Paris
Victory Records: Sinai Beach

FOR MORE NEWS GO TO:
http://www.metalupdate.com

-- HELP WANTED --

DRUMMER wanted - Toronto based band, Will of the Ancients, are looking for
a new drummer. We have been around for a couple of years, have released a
demo and are looking to record a full length this summer. Must be able to
practice in Scarborough twice a week. Blasts and fast double bass a must.
E-mail willoftheancients@... for an audition.

GUITARIST and VOCALIST wanted - Black Metal band, Lunar Reign, seeking
guitarist and vocalist in the Tampa area. Must have own equipment and
transportation. Contact Sahr Eth at sahreth@... for more information.

KEYBOARDIST wanted - Todesbonden (Prophecy Productions), a medieval,
Celtic, world-influenced doom metal band with violins and female vocals
needs a live keyboardist for upcoming show with Therion, plus many others.
Mini tour in Germany a possibility. Must be in the MD/VA/DC area or
willing to commute. If interested email us at band@...

BASSIST and DRUMMER wanted - Denial Of God (Danish Black/Horror Metal
band) are looking for a bassist and drummer. This year we, among other
things, plan to record our long awaited 'The Horrors of Satan' album, etc.
Anyone interested should contact the band at ghoul@...

BAND wanted - Professional Bassist in NY seeks pro gig. Original -
Extreme, Death and melodic styles preferred. 17 years experience. Not
looking to join a startup band. E-mail for mp3 samples/Info.
Dreadedharmony@...

BAND wanted - Pro lead guitarist in NY seeks heavy, powerful, aggressive,
progressive, melodic in-your-face band. I have pro-equipment, a great
attitude, transportation to wherever I need to go, and am extremely
dedicated. Influences: old Metallica, Tool, Queensryche, Fates Warning,
Soilwork, Children Of Bodom (sans the vox), Savatage, Steve Vai, Yngwie
Malmsteen, Randy Rhoads, David Gilmour. I seek career-minded individuals
who are talented, serious, fun to work with (if you don't have a sense of
humor - don't bother!), and people who are willing to do anything to make
music a way of life. Please email me if you are serious:
Jeff@...
________________________________________________________

BANDS!

Video Producer Needs YOUR Music!
Get listed in video credits with your band’s web site or contact info!

Hello, My name is Pete Kautz and I love quality progressive metal, heavy
dark music, hard driving electronic, and stuff that is a little “out there”

(Some of you very astute WVBR listeners will also know me as “Rob McGroin”,
the frequent Scottish on-air guest of host Seriah Azkath on “Last Exit for
the Lost”!)

I run a small editing business called AV Associates, and as a producer of
action “how to” martial arts videos I am always looking for exciting cool
music that I can use in credits and scene transitions. Just short clips of
music, really! A minute here and a minute there - sometimes even just 10
seconds or so can be enough. Instrumentals are preferable as they are
easier to work with (or pieces with long openings or solos) but the sky’s
the limit, really.

If your band is interested in having their music considered for future
tapes, please contact me at petekautz@...

In return, in addition to the exposure you will get on the tape your band’s
name will appear in the final credits along with any contact information you
want to add such as a phone number, address, or web site.

Thanks for reading and please contact me if you have any questions or want
to get involved!

All my very best to you,

Pete Kautz
Director, AV Associates
_________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: February 12, 2005
(R) = Requested

Avec Tristesse "I Am But One / All Love is Gone"
Within Temptation "Stand My Ground"
High on Fire "Sons of Thunder"
Epoch of Unlight "The End of All"
Cadaveria "Eleven Three O Three" (R)
Porcupine Tree "Shallow"
Augury "Cosmic Migration"
The Pushrods "We're So Successful"
Novembers Doom "Swallowed by the Moon"
Frantic Bleep "Sins of Omission"
Primordial "The Song of the Tomb"
Extreme Noise Terror "When Gods Burn" (R)
Others "Not a Word"
Worm Quartet "Great Idea for a Song / Recursively Anatomically Correct" (R)
Future 86 "Tour Bus"
Enslaved "Lunar Force"
ICP "Fuck the World" (R)

** MY Space Pic of the Night **
Fillmore Slim "No Stranger" (R)

If Man is Five "Waltz / Hemmorage - Acoustic"
The Pushrods "Elmira - Acoustic"

** Tribute to the Past Set **
Judas Priest "Fever" (R)
Nitro "Frieght Train"
Manowar "Hail and Kill - Live" (R)
Pretty Maids "Future World"
Overkill "Wrecking Crew"

GWAR "Lost God"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Are You Gonna Eat That?"
Alabama Thunderpussy "Whore Adore"
Dio "The Last In Line - Live"
Kreator "World Anarchy"
The Pushrods "Looking for Snatch - Acoustic"
Crank Daddy "People Whose Asses I could Kick"
Divinity Destroyed "Void"
Behemoth "XUL"
Dark Tranquility "Am I 1?"
Kill Your Idols "We've Tried Nothing and We're Out of Ideas"
Soilwork "The Crest Fallen"
Atom and His Package "Hats off to Halford"
Judas Priest "Revolution"
Needulhed "Toasting Marshmellows"
Angkor Wat "The Search / Awake!"
Empyrean Sky "Into the Depths"
Manowar "Each Dawn I Die" (R)
White Knuckle Trip "Wearing the Red Dress"
Transmission 0-0 "Ether"
Sopor Aeturnus and the Ensemble of Shadows "The Skeletal Garden"
Comeback Kid "Waking the Dead"
Oathean "The Origin"
Pungent Stench "Apotemnophiliac"
Razor Crusade "Osaka Android"
Elusive Travel "All the Things I'd Die For"
Dead Silent Slumber "Raising the Suicide Chalice"
Human Drama "The Ways and Wounds (of My World)"
Queensryche "I Will Remember (Unplugged)"
MSG "Save Yourself"
Skid Row "Psycho Therapy"
Serpico "Zombie"

The Witching Live 11-22-04 Castaways, Ithaca
________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, Feb 18: Indira, King's Jealousy, and The PushRods at the Haunt, Ithaca

Fri. Feb 18 @ The Downtown Quarterback
115 Washington Ave. Endicott, Ny 607-658-9554
Indirect Threat, King Snyder, Prime Scheme, & Iron Core
8pm/Ages 18+/$5

Tues, Feb 22: Hed(pe) and Dry Kill Logic at The Magic City Music Hall,
Johnson City

Thurs, Feb 24: BudweiserTrue Music Band Competition w/ the PushRods and 2
other bands at Peppers Grill, Berwick, PA 9PM - 12

Fri, Feb 25: Suffocation, Cattle Decapitation, and Behemoth at The Penny
Arcade, Rochester

Sat, Feb 26: If Man is Five, Refuse to Fail ANV, Mourn this Tragedy, and
Tomorrow is Forever at the Tioga Trials Cafe, Owego NY. 6pm, $5

Sat. Feb 26 @ Hopkins Community Center
Hopkins St. Elmira, Ny
Indirect Threat, King Snyder, Hyphema & Iron Core
5pm/All Ages/$5

Thurs, March 3: Tesla at The Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City

Thurs, March 3: Soulfly, God Forbid, and Stemm at The Icon, Buffalo

Fri, March 4: Atreyu, Unearth, and Scars of Tomorrow at The Water Street
Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, March 5: GWAR, Punch Drunk Monkeys, and Alabama Thunder Pussy at The
Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City

Sat Mar 5th
Marathon (Punkrock heroes)
Fire When Ready (Binghamton indie rock)
Robot Goes Here (Electronic punkhardcore)
1 TBA
@ Pixel in collegetown, in the alley next to Subway, 107.5 Dryden Rd
6:30pm, $5

Monday March 7th - The Sports Bars
State St. Binghamton N.Y.13905
M.A.D. Muzak Presents
"Others" 3rd yr Anniverary Party - Fan Appreciation
with Special Guests
The Lurking Corpses - http://www.thelurkingcorpses.com
the Mofo's - http://www.mofosonlone.com
2 for 1 drinks Specials
FREE CD FOR THE FIRST 50 PAID THROUGH THE DOOR!
"Others - Live for the UnDead"
$5.00 / 18 & up / doors 7:30pm first band 8pm
band page: http://www.soundclick.com/others

Sun, March 13: Motorhead and Corrosion of Conformity at The Magic City Music
Hall, Johnson City

Weds, March 16: Mike Tramp at Rock and Roll Heaven, Buffalo

Tues, March 29: Black Label Society at The Water Street Music Hall,
Rochester

Tues, April 5: Soilwork, Dark Tranquility, Hypocrisy, and Mnenic at The
Icon, Buffalo

Mon, April 18: Velvet Revolver at The Blue Cross Arena, Rochester

Mon, April 18: Pigface, Nocturne, and Scary Monsters at The Water Street
Music Hall, Rochester

Thurs, April 21: Strapping Young Lad, Misery Signals, Reflux, and Agony
Scene at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Mon, May 2: Murphy’s Law, Supersuckers, and Rev Horton Heat at Milestones,
Rochester

Thurs, May 12: Kreator, The Autumn Offering, Death Angel, and Vader at The
Penny Arcade, Rochester
____________________________________________

TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK

+----- Bizarre Foreign Mistranslations into English ------+

In a Belgrade elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each
one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then
going alphabetically by national order.

A doctor's office in Rome: Specialist in women and other
diseases.

On a menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid
red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger;
roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the
country people's fashion.

A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire: If you are
unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.

Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride your
own ass?

In a Czech tourist agency: Take one of our horse driven
tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

A temple in Bangkok: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a
foreigner if dressed like a man.

Car rental brochure in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave
in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first,
but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with
vigor.
_____________________________________________

Woman jailed for testicle attack
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has
been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her
advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it
out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

'Pulled hard'

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury"
and that Monti was not acting in self defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open
relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party
in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard".

I am in no way a violent person

Amanda Monti

He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was
completely naked and in excruciating pain."

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her
mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and
gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact
that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a
violent person."

The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but
still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do
for the rest of my life."
_______________________________________________________

+-------------- Bizarre Newspaper Headlines ---------------+

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Expert Says School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarians Take Over

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Stolen Painting Found By Tree

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved Ones

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

New Study of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
________________________________________________

------------ IKEA Store Opening A Real Riot ----------------

NORTH LONDON - Who knew furniture could have such an effect
on people? Five people were hospitalized and hundreds
crushed as the opening of England's biggest Ikea store
turned into a riot. About 7,000 people had flocked to the
Edmonton store after adverts promised big discounts. When
the main doors opened 40 security guards were pushed aside
by the crowds, leaving shoppers pinned to the wall or
crushed on the ground. Video footage showed people brawling
over furniture, with one man pinned against the wall by a
customer as they fought over a sofa. The staff had to close
the doors after 30 minutes and they held up signs written
in marker pen against the glass doors to announce the fact.
The store remains closed and a cleanup operation is under
way.
________________________________________________

* Recent Alarming Headlines: (1) "Man Says Tight Jeans Caused
Aggravated Assault Charge" (Sean Duvall, arrested for pulling a
gun on police in Belle Vernon, Pa., said he was holding it only
because it was impossible to stuff it in his pants; USA Today,
December). (2) "Man Arrested for Dumping Dirt in a Forest"
(Federal law prohibits unloading anything on federal land, even
soil being returned to the Earth for ecology's sake; Associated
Press dispatch from Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, November). (3)
"Lawmakers Asked to Take Helm, Donate Sperm" (To relieve a
shortage at Australian sperm banks, some younger state legislators
were asked to become role models by giving; Associated Press
dispatch, January).
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...