The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 1, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** RECAPS FROM FIRE EATER WIZARD **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Joe started out the night still as his original
self. Jeffie arrived, and Joe stayed himself... For awhile, at least...
Jeffie told Joe that he was not happy with the way Joe had run "his" show in
his weeks absence, that the show had sucked. Then Jeffie announced that he
had made a shocking discovery, which he was now going to reveal to all of
us... Now, if you aren't sitting down, you should do so immediately, or you
will surely fall down in shock and amazement when you read this... Are you
ready? Were you aware that there is PORN on the internet?? Lots and lots of
PORN?? Well, yes, thanks to Jeffie, we now know that you can indeed view and
obtain porn right on your own computer! I know, it sounds unbelievable, but,
apparently it is true! Jeffie discovered this by visiting the web site of
the band Divinity Destroyed (www.divintydestroyed.com), where, apparently,
by clicking on Tom's profile, there are lots of links to sites where this
porn can be found. So, now we all know this shocking info! Yet another
breaking news story provided to you by The Metallic Onslaught, which you
never could have learned otherwise. There is no end to the wealth of
knowledge that can be gained only from this show! So, I guess we know how
Jeffie had spent his week. :) Then Jeffie offered Joe a drink which he said
he had brought for him, and which he claimed was Mountain Dew. Joe told
Jeffie that he didn't want anything from him, and declined the offer. (smart
man). Whereupon Jeffie became oddly eager and insistent that Joe drink the
Mountain Dew. Joe refused the drink again... However, at the start of the
next talk break, Joe was gone, Joe Jeff was back, and Joe Jeff said that the
last thing he remembered was drinking some Mountain dew, (well, I just said
he had been smart, but, he is old and senile, so I guess the smartness
didn't last for too long) and then, well, being there... I suspect evil
doing and foul play of Jeffie's doing here. It looks suspiciously like
Jeffie has found some kind of drug or substance that can turn people into
Jeffie clones, and is drugging Joe. (oh, the horrible thoughts that conjures
up, as who knows what kind of Jeffie substance might be being used if that
is the case! *shudder*, and, if it would work on anyone who took it, as
well?! *double shudder*). Jeffie offered Lance some Mountain Dew, and tried
to get him to drink it, but Lance (who is young and not senile, and, thus,
smarter than Joe) said he didn't want anything from Jeffie, and refused.
Jeffie and Joe Jeff said they were going to plot against Lance. Jeffie and
Lance got into a brawl. Joe Jeff bemoaned the fact that Lance was being mean
to his friend Jeffie, however, only continued to bemoan this fact, doing
absolutely nothing to try and stop it, or to help Jeffie. Very helpful,
useful friend that he is. Joe Jeff complained to Rick that Lance was beating
up Jeffie. Rick responded that, yeah, wasn't it great? Joe Jeff said that,
no, it was a bad thing, and that Rick should help. Always the happy to
oblige soul that he is, Rick went to help... However, he went to help Lance
with the beating up of Jeffie, not to help Jeffie, to Joe Jeff's dismay. Joe
Jeff, however, continued to stay out of it, only continuing to protest the
mistreatment of his friend Jeffie, but not lifting a finger to help or to
try to put a stop to it (Joe Jeff is truly a friend you want to have around
when things get rough, so dependable, someone who can always be counted on
for help). :p Jeffie however, actually was doing fairly well on his own
(lucky thing for him, considering all the help he was getting from his
friend), Lance started out the fight in control, but then Jeffie took
control for awhile, and did manage to beat up on Lance. Jeffie's fighting
skills really have improved quite a lot, it is no longer total squashes,
like it once was. Jeffie also is somewhat smarter, or has learned from hard
experience, perhaps, as he managed to outsmart Rick. Joe Jeff congratulated
Jeffie on beating Lance and Rick. Jeffie did not so much beat Rick, however,
was just smart enough to manage to run by him and back into the other room
when he saw him coming for him. (wow, that sounds wrong and "dirty!", as Joe
would say, (or would say when he is himself, that is) but you know what I
meant). :p Jeffie was extremely out of breath from his mad dash to escape
Rick and what he said he thought was going to be his certain death. Joe Jeff
congratulated Jeffie again on his triumphs. Jeffie said that because he was
this huge rock star (a rock star who doesn't play music (except for the
purple slide whistle, of course), but writes books and signs them on bills
with big rock bands) that he has many groupies, and that he had brought a
couple of them with him. And, indeed, some female voices could be heard
calling out for Jeffie in the background. The groupies were there for a bit,
and then Jeffie said that he had had to send them back to their place, on
his bus. At the end of the night, Gene Simmons from Kiss (or someone
sounding like him, and claiming to be him, at least) was attempting to talk
to Jeffie... Jeffie told Gene that he did not like him (a sentiment which
Joe Jeff concurred with), that he was not in his head any more, and that he
was not going to listen to him. Gene kept trying to insist, and Jeffie kept
ignoring him. Which was how the show ended... With, btw, no mention of the
upcoming National Joe Day for the Joe/Joe Jeff on this show, but much much
more On National Joe Day in the recap for Le in a moment. Old senile Joe/Joe
Jeff got gypped out of National Joe Day. He is a Joe too, after all. They
did mention it for him too last year, but, forgot this year. Poor Joe. Oh
well...

On The Last Exit For The Lost: It was Easter Sunday, which meant, of course,
that it was a We Love Satan Show as is the tradition on Easter, and so it
was again this year. And, this year, National Joe Day happened to coincide
with Easter. So, it was also a National Joe Day show for Just Joe... Just
Joe was there, of course, and, as like on Easter last year, he was dressed
as The Easter bunny. Satan however, was not there for his show (well, the
show he would've had to share with Just Joe this year). It seems that Satan
was sick. One wouldn't think one could catch a cold when one's hangout is
hell, where it's roasting heat all the time, but, apparently Satan did,
either that or, perhaps, he did not want to share his special night with
Just Joe and his special night). The Penguin was there for a bit. And she
and Just Joe got into some, well, something that looked like Penguin sex,
which Just Joe later said, that, if that was what it was, he preferred the
beatings he got during the night, which there were quite a few of, but, more
about that in a bit. (I'm sure The Penguin would prefer the many other forms
of abuse she's had to endure to Penguin sex with Just Joe as well). And,
apparently a real blast from the past called into the show (not on air,
though). The Almighty Monkey! But that's all that would be said about that,
that he called in. Wow! That name sure brings back memories! There were some
other people there as well. A couple of whom hadn't been there in a few
weeks, and one of whom hadn't been there in a long while. Ian The Yeti was
back for a visit, and he brought along his friend Matt. (Ian also brought
his dad, though not on air). And, *big drum roll here* Gorgar was finally
back, complete with very impressive sounding new theme music! Welcome back
Gorgar, great to have you back! Gorgar was still a bit broken from his noble
act of heroism of a few months ago. He sacrificed himself for us all, by
putting his body (not to mention his car) in the path of an oncoming deer,
and, thus, insuring that the planet (and all of us on it), will not be hit
by a meteor. We can all rest assured that that will not happen, not for a
long time, at least, thanks to Gorgar and his incredibly brave selfless
noble sacrifice for us all, for which we are all very grateful! Thank you so
much Gorgar! What a hero! As it was National Joe Day, plus being Easter with
Just Joe as The Easter Bunny (last year on both those occasions, (though
they fell separately then), Just Joe was severely beaten and died many
times), it was a given that Just Joe would have to suffer and die a lot
during this night. So, for the first of these deaths... Azkath treated him
to a con-chair-to, which, for those of you who are not into pro wrestling,
is not a reference to classical music... Not on this show! No, it refers to
getting your head bashed between two chairs. This rendered Just Joe dead...
For a little while, at least, not for long, though. Then there was a musical
guest. William Noik: www.noik.com is his web site. He performed one song
acoustic. The name of the song was "Crimson Flame". It was quite a lengthy
performance. Just the instrumental opening part when on for a couple of
minutes, I thought that maybe the whole song was going to be instrumental,
but then he began singing. The song lasted for I think at least five
minutes, and was quite different and unique sounding. Even the host of the
show was not quite sure how you would categorize it's style, so, if he
couldn't, with his musical expertise, then I'm certainly not going to
attempt to define it. :) Suffice it to say that it was very interesting and
different, and the singer himself sounded very interesting and different as
well, even when only talking. It was all good, though. Different, weird,
but, good. :) After a couple hours, Ian and Matt had to leave, but, not
before Ian got molested a bit and traumatized a bit by Just Joe. And, not
before Matt told a story about having his nipples pinched by a stripper (an
old and not very attractive stripper, apparently, so, unfortunately it was
kinda a scary and not a pleasant experience for him). They offered to have
Just Joe pinch his nipples, so that, maybe with that experience to compare
it with, the stripper experience might seem good to him (how kind and
helpful they are!), But Matt said that the stripper experience had been so
bad that even that could not make it seem any better, and declined the
offer. As They were trying to come up with a challenge for Just Joe for that
night... Now, since the whole actual concept of whoever the genius was that
we have to thank for thinking up this holiday in the first place, is that
for anyone who doesn't like their own name, for this one day of the year,
they can change their name to Joe, or, to put it another way, be Joe for a
day. So, they gave Just Joe the challenge of getting someone to change their
name to Joe for that night. Joe asked a couple of people there to change
their name. They all refused. Then he tried to force Matt as he was leaving
to change his name to Joe. He tried to physically force him into doing it,
jumping on him, pummeling him, yanking on his ears. But, Matt would not give
in, and so it looked like Just Joe was going to fail his challenge for that
night. (which would've been the first time he's failed). But then three
people in the chat room (all of whom were female, and one of whom was me)
all changed are names to Joe for that night. Yes, that's right, for that
night, I was Fire Eater Joe! *wince* I have no excuses or explanations for
it other than to plead temporary insanity brought on by, I don't know what.
What else could possess me to want to be Just Joe (and to help him out in
something, by helping him win his challenge!??) Had to be insanity, or,
delirium. I can't speak for the other two, but, I'm much better now. It took
the whole week for my IQ to come back up from the huge drop it had to take
for me to be Just Joe, but, I think it's mostly back now. And, if there are
any flaws or faults in this recap, that's what I blame it on. :p For this
week only, as I have an excellent excuse in this :P Then, after some
discussion, it was decided that perhaps it was time for a new strategy to
try and get rid of just Joe... Since killing him never works, as he always
comes back, especially on Easter when you can kill the Easter Bunny and he
ressurects, they decided to try not killing him and then maybe he wouldn't
come back. Kind of convoluted reasoning there, but, hey, you never know...
And killing him certainly hasn't been working. So, they told Just Joe that
they weren't going to kill him any more. Just Joe seemed a bit conflicted
about this (that's because he's stupid and really weird). He left. And then,
a short while later, he called in. He said that if they weren't going to
kill him any more, then he was going to take matters into his own hands...
He said that he was out by the road, and was going to throw himself in front
of the first car that went by. (remember that it was about three thirty in
the morning, so traffic was kind of light). In a bit, he said a car was
coming, and that he was going to jump out in front of it. Then the phone
went dead, no more from him... So, we thought we had witnessed a truly great
moment in broadcast history a live death (so to speak) :) on the air.
However, a few minutes later, Just Joe just had to go and deprive us all of
this great happening by crawling in alive. He said that the stupid driver
had been going really slow, and then tried to avoid him, and just grazed
him. He did however, have injuries... So Azkath, being the helpful caring
kind soul that he is, brought him a crutch for him to use in his injured
state, and proceeded to brutally beat him down with the crutch, including
inserting it into places that crutches were never meant to and should never
go. That put Just Joe down for awhile. Then, during the next music set,
Azkath dragged Just Joe back outside, beat him down some more, and left him
in the road to get hit by a few more cars. He said that he was quite sure
Just Joe was dead now. That may have been, but, of course, it did not stay
that way. Just Joe came back again injured, but very much not dead. And thus
went a very special show... The combined Easter, We Love Satan, National Joe
Day Celebration Extravaganza Show! It was a night filled with lots of
violence, craziness, and silliness... This week... Who knows what will
happen/and who will be there... One thing that will most definitely happen
is that, as this is the weekend when the clocks are set ahead an hour for
spring, it will be the annual Tribute to glam show, in which the hour from
two to three will be entirely devoted to glam music. This is a real treat
every year! I look forward to it all year long! Can't wait! Don't miss that
and what/whoever else that may occur!

*******************************************************************
Notes from Azkath...

Hmmm... today is April Fools Day, isn't it? So at least SOME of The
Metallic Onslaught will be on April Fool's Day, and this is being written on
said date as well. Hmmm... Soooo... On the Metallic Onslaught tonight,
Joe, nor Jeff Joe, nor Jeffie, nor Santa will be there. They will be at The
Walmart in Auburn for the midnight sale of new Star Wars toys. So, I will
not host the show, I will INVADE the show, maybe bringing Joe with me, since
has proved himself so helpful, and Shoebox, will, most definitely, be there.
It will be a night of nights. There will be violence and bloodshed, fire
and chaos, and the Metallic Onslaught, will never, ever, be the same.

On The Last Exit... Um... I should plan these things out more, shouldn't
I? Yes, well, there will be stuff that happens, and there will be music
played, new and old, and someone will likely get hit with something, and
there will be something stickly left somewhere, and pictures will get taken
of it. Yes. That is what will likely happen.
_____________________________________________________

OTHERS News...

Greeting fiends and Foul ones, We've been busy, busy, busy...

2005 BATTLE of the BANDS
Fridays at Magic City Music Hall
$5.00 / ALL AGE / Doors 6:30 first band 8pm
March 25
April 1
April 8
April 15 (finals)

http://www.magiccitymusichall.com
http://925kgb.com/battleofthebands.html


Magic City Music Hall (directions) www.magiccitymusichall.com
2005 BATTLE of the BANDS contestants

Awaiting The Day
Felix Sarco's Polar Power Manifesto Magnet Supernova
Gone To Earth
If Man Is Five - http://www.blackazul.com/ifmanisfive
Korea
Others
No Faith Child
Papa Muse
Robbing Banks - http://www.robbingbanks.com
Smothered In Argyle
Tillorson Creek
Veralis

April 1st - We are Playing with (in order of apperance)
Robbing Banks
Awaiting The Day
Smothered in Argyle
Others
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April 11th at Magic City
Magic City & The Meltdown Present
OVERKILL
with
Others
If Man Is Five
1 more TBA
$15.00 / doors 6:30 / first band 7:30 sharp
for more info visit
http://www.magiccitymusichall.com
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May 7th - Breast Care Center Benifit Show
East coast Terminal
44 Coriless Ave, Johnson City, N.Y.
3:00pm / All Ages / $5.00
Crisis - (yes the one and Only)
Others (your worst Nightmare)
If Man is Five (Local Starlets)
Murr (LI, NY Punk)
Girls in a Coma(Austin,TX)
The Witching (Ithaca)
Kitty Kat Dirt Nap (Pilly)
Nancy (girly men from Bingoland)
Swag (insrument Bliss)
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Saturday June 4th - Castaways, Ithaca N.Y. The Last Exit for the Lost DVD
release Party Featuring Punch Drunk Monkeys, Others, Never the Sunshine,
Elusive Travel - More info TBA - http://www.castawaysithaca.com
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June 16, 17, 18th - Nick Stock 2005
20 year anniversary
60 bands, 100 Kegs, Free camping
More Info TBA
http://www.nikstock.com

_______________________________________________________________________

News:

"Others" have been selected to appear in the independant film "The Chest".
http://www.wjmproductions.com/thechest/index2.html
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"Others" have been selected to appear in the soundtracks for -
Alliance Martial Arts training Videos - Hi Yah!
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"Others" have been selected to appear in the opening scene for "descent". An
independant film from New Freedom Films. "Others" will also be writing the
title track as well as contributing to the soundtrack! "descent" is part 2
of
a trilogy.
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We will be making a Video for "Winter of Misery" with Shallow Grave
Productions. late March / earyl April. It will be like a silent film.
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We will be working with Shallow Grave Productions again to make a video for
"I,Vampire" Late April / early May.
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Attention Binghamton Music Scene.

Have yo been in a band that played origainal music somewhere between 1980
and
the present? Do you have video footage of that band? Were you in radio,
promotion or were you a roadie? Hey, did you catch every available show,
just
as a fan? If you can answer yes to any of these questions A-Bomb and Mark
Dickinson are looking for you. At the present time we are making a mivie (a
video documentary) celebrating the binghamton music scene in it's hyday
until
present. This is a seious project! The documentary is called SCENE (a
documentary) and will star you. Please... Time is precious as the project is
already in motion. Contact A-Bomb at shallowgrave@... or call
607-239-4111 if you want to be part of this historical project. This scene
has always stood on it's own, now we have a history to write.
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Movie Extra's Wanted

"Others" have been selected to appear in the opening scene of "descent" a
film by Don Patterson of New Freedom Films. "descent" is the second part of
a
three part horror trilogy. We have also been asked to write the Title Song.
Filming will begin this summer and we will be shooting our scene in
Binghamton N.Y.. We will be looking for Extra's to appear in the film. If
anyone is interested in being an extra. Drop me a line at
bloodsuckingfreaks@...
YOU MUST BE 18 AND BE ABLE TO PROVE IT AND SIGN A RELEASE CONTRACT...
Serious Inquires Only and must be available for 1 or 2weekends. I will have
more info by the end of March.
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* "People" will be on the new World Horror Network Compilation due out in
April 20th 2005.

* "Baby's Dead Stare" will be on the new Bloody Mary Records Hooror Comp.
out
now!

* "I, Vampire" is on the new GPLK INC. Metal compilation!

Grab "Garden of Rage" Now!
through Statue Records -
http://www.statuerecords.com/jukebox/sales/others.html

Check Out "I, Vampire" - the first single off of the forth coming album
"Garden of Rage" - www.soundclick.com/others

7 song ep available at Sound -go-round, Music City, in Ithaca at Sounds Fine
_________________
In Darkness we fall...


band page: http://www.soundclick.com/others
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Classic Testament Lineup Confirmed For Pennsylvania's Louder Harder
Faster Festival

TESTAMENT's classic lineup of Chuck Billy (vocals), Eric Peterson
(guitar), Alex Skolnick (guitar), Greg Christian (bass) and Louie
Clemente (drums) has been confirmed for the Louder Harder Faster
festival, set to take place June 3-5 at the Crocodile Rock Cafe in
Allentown, Pennsylvania. The festival billing is shaping up as
follows:

Friday June 3 (Doors @ 6:00 p.m.; First band @ 7:00 p.m.):

HYDROGYN
ION VEIN
SLIKHELVETIKA
TWILIGHT ODYSSEY
FLOTSAM & JETSAM
TROUBLE

Saturday, June 4 (Doors @ 11:00 a.m.; First band @ 12:00 p.m.):

THE AURORA
WITHOUT END
ENAMORED
HURT LOCKER
VAMPIRE MOOOSE
FUNERUS
FULL BLOWN CHAOS
CHAMPION
MARTYR AD
AGNOSTIC FRONT
TURMOIL
MACABRE
OBITUARY

Sunday, June 5 (Doors @ 11:00 a.m.; First band @ 12 p.m.)

BELT FED WEAPON
KRUSIFIRE
TRY REDEMPTION
THE KISS OF DEATH
LUPARA
BEYOND THE FLESH
INCANTATION
SPEEDKILL/HATE
NUCLEAR ASSAULT
MUSHROOMHEAD
GOD FORBID
TESTAMENT

For more information, visit www.louder-harder-faster.com.

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THE END RECORDS
"The End Of Music As We Know It"
Newsletter 03/25/05

A weekly update of things going on for The End Records and the bands on
their roster...

THE END RECORDS TRIUMPHANT AT SXSW
It's over now but the word on the street this year is that The End Record's
debut showcase at the world-renowned festival was a smashing success thanks
to solid sets by Novembers Doom, Lilitu, Thine Eyes Bleed, Epoch Of Unlight
and Crisis. The Back Room was full of industry types and metalheads, all
headbanging along with fists pumping and beer flowing. We'll see you in
Texas next year!

Check out SLUG's (a Salt Lake City-based magazine) account of Crisis'
powerful set:



"We took a cab out to The End Records showcase at the Back Room, saw Andreas
there and caught the tail end of Lilitu (kind of a mix between black metal,
emo and metalcore with very young members-they all looked 18 or something,
but had to be 21, I suppose) and the beginning of Crisis' set. Karyn Crisis
(see photo) is one of the most amazing performers I've ever seen. Her dreads
drape down to her ankles and as she sings and flings her dreads around, she
looks like a deadly octopus in motion. The guitarists around her kept their
five feet of distance to avoid the hairwhips. Karyn points to her forehead
and out at the crowd again as if telling them to "Think! Think!" She grips
her crotch, dances stomping her feet up and down, and never stops moving.
Her face is as delicate as a winter fairy, but inside, her soul is a raging
demon"



UNEXPECT'S STUDIO CHAOS CONTINUES


Here via e-mail is an update from the band about their studio work:

"Hello everyone, pagans or not, we like you anyway. News, news, news, news,
news, news, news, news and news. That would be 9 bits of news (2 more than
in the French version of this update, you lucky people!) If we compile the
work done on the album, as of now, it goes something like this:

Drums: Done
Bass: Done
Keyboard: Recorded in parallel (nearly done)
Guitars: Something like 1/3 done
Violin: --------------------
Vocals: --------------------
Guest instrumentalists: --------------------

Two legged walking dogs: They existŠ Epileptic jugglers: Friends and party
animals

When it moves, you find yourself in a situation in which it moves, should I
say with a placid voice. The album is more and more diversified, ''cause
yes, the creation process is still in an evolution 'till the last
secondsŠ'till the last drops of soundsŠwe like to surprise ourselves! We're
very satisfied with how the instruments will sound and I persist, saying
that this album will strike fear in the heart of little children (actual
tested, completely satisfyingŠhehehe)

For those questioning themselves about the long delays between each
instrument's recording, the answer is here: Our studio days are actually
half-days as we can't record on weekends and some studio times are reserved
for other projects. Finally, for festive reasons, I write this word of
wisdom: joy"

http://www.unexpect.com

TOP HONORS FOR GREEN CARNATION

The band's latest opus, The Quiet Offering, was named album of the month by
www.metalirelnad.com



CRISIS READY FOR ROAD DUTY THIS SUMMER
Crisis has been confirmed as the main support to the M.O.D. tour starting
early June. Beyond The Embrace will open as well. Dates to be announced
soon.

NEW BLOOD FOR LILITU

Lilitu is proud to announce new Bassist, Noah Martin as a permanent fixture
in the band. Hailing from Virginia Beach and being only 20 years old, he
plays like a pro! In other news, the band is making plans to tour this
spring as well as shooting a video for the title track, "The Delores Lesion"



CURRENT TITLES UP FOR INTERVIEWS/REVIEWS:
GREEN CARNATION - The Quiet Offspring
The End | TE054 | Out Now!
http://www.greencarnation.no


MP3:
http://media.theendrecords.com/GreenCarnation_Quiet_BetweenTheGentle.mp3
- Between The Gentle Small & The Standing Tall

Style: Metal (Atmospheric Prog Metal)
Recommended for fans of: Deep Purple, C.O.C., Pink Floyd.
An avant-garde sensation of hard rock and progressive metal.

Media Quotes:
"The musical world is blessed to receive the gifts bestowed by Norway's most
ambitious rock band, Green Carnation" - 9.5/10 Terrorizer

"The groundbreaking work that began well over a decade ago in Green
Carnation carries on today in The Quiet Offspring."- Rebel Extravaganza

Band Quotes: "For me, The Quiet Offspring is the manifest of Green Carnation
as a band. Having been a band in constant change, we are now a unit more
than ever, and I think we have been able to bring the best out of all the
members - both during the recording and the song-writing process. The result
is the most heavy, progressive, avant garde, groovy and - I think - the
strongest album from Green Carnation to date." - Kjetil Nordhus (Vocals)

"I have to agree with Kjetil, our 4th album is fucking superb! We worked
great as a team in the studio and we got ourselves a new brilliant showcase
of what Green Carnation is all about - diversity, experimenting and passion
for music. Everyone put down their best efforts and talents into the writing
and recording of the album, and Terje Refsnes managed to get us an
incredible sound! I can`t wait to hold the final product!" - Tchort
(Guitars)



NOVEMBERS DOOM - The Pale Haunt Departure
The End | TE05 21 | Out Now!
http://www.novembersdoom.com


Video: The Pale Haunt Departure
http://media.theendrecords.com/palehaunt84mb.avi High/Medium Quality - avi -
84 mb
http://media.theendrecords.com/palehaunt_36.mov Medium Quality - Quicktime
mov - 30 mb
http://media.theendrecords.com/ndpalehaunt.wmv Low Quality - Windows Media
Video wmv - 9 mb

MP3:
http://media.theendrecords.com/NovembersDoom_PaleHauntDeparture_SwallowedByt
heMoon.mp3
- Swallowed By The Moon

Style: Metal (Dark Metal)
Recommended for fans of: Opeth, Katatonia, Edge of Insanity, etc.
A combination of power and beauty forging a dark metal masterpiece.

Media Quotes:
"Heavy-ass shit that might leave you thinking 'bout suicide, life after
death, or calling your mom 8/10!"- Decibel

"The Pale Haunt Departure_ has become as a Midwestern sentinel guarding the
notion that metal knows no boundaries! 10/10" - Chronicles Of Chaos

"Only a few bands on this side of the Atlantic possess the talent to stand
alongside the European hierarchy. Novembers Doom are one of them." - Metal
Maniacs

"Far more real, and far better than most metal released today." - LotFP

"NOVEMBERS DOOM definitely are all their own. Regardless of classification,
they are absolute Class!" - http://www.metal-observer.com



EPOCH OF UNLIGHT - The Continuum Hypothesis
The End | TE053 | Out Now!
http://www.epochofunlight.com


MP3:
http://media.theendrecords.com/EpochOfUnlight_TheContinuumHypothesis_Aberran
tShadows.mp3
- Aberrant Shadows

Style: Metal (Thrash/Black/Death Metal)
Recommended for fans of: Kreator, Carcass (Heartwork-era), At The Gates,
Dark Tranquility (early), In Flames (early).

Media Quote:
"This band is so damned good it's unfair to the rest of US black metal. " -
DigitalMetal.com

"Driven by otherworldly rhythms, progressive death metal guitar lines and
Swedish thrash vocals, this band serve as a vortex of all that is intensely
creative in the underground realm." - BraveWords.com

"There's no sign of weakness to be found on The Continuum Hypothesis -
4.5/5" - allmusicguide.com



BANDS ON THE ROAD:
EPOCH OF UNLIGHT - The Continuum Hypothesis
The End | TE053 | Out Now!

May 20th - John J's - Fayetteville, NC
May 21st - Martin Street Music Hall - Raleigh, NC
May 23rd - Ground Zero - Spartanburg, SC
May 24th - Swayzie's Venue - Marietta, GA - (Maybe w/Lilitu)
May 25th - Thee Imperial - Jacksonville, FL
May 27th - Cheers Lounge - South Bend, IN
June 1st - Molly Blooms II - Amityvlle, NY
June 4th - CC22 - Seaford, DE
- more dates to follow

LILITU - The Delores Lesion
The End | TE045 | Out Now!
April 1 @ Earthlink Live : Atlanta, Ga
May 24 @ Swayzes Venue Marietta,GA w/ Epoch Of Unlight

NOVEMBERS DOOM - The Pale Haunt Departure
The End | TE052 | Out Now!
May 6th @ Star Central - Columbia Heights, MN (Minneapolis Mayhem)

THINE EYES BLEED
www.thineeyesbleed.com
Tour with Vehemence (Metal Blade)
3/25/05 - The Venue - Boise ID
3/26/05 - The B-Side - Spokane WA
3/27/05 - Studio Seven - Seattle WA
3/28/05 - Ash Street Saloon - Portland OR
3/29/05 - The Domino Room - Bend OR*
3/30/05 - TENT
3/31/05 - The Pound - San Fran. CA
4/01/05 - The Fat Cat - Modesto CA*
4/02/05 - Jerry's Pizza - Bakersfield CA
4/03/05 - Showcase Theater - Corona CA
4/04/05 - Brick By Brick - San Diego CA*
* tentative
-END TOUR-

CHRIS CAFFERY - Faces
Black Lotus/The End | BLRCD072 | Out Now

4/28/05 - BB Kings Blues Club & Grill - New York, NY (It's All Good Tour)
4/30/05 - The Downtown - Farmingdale, NY (It's All Good Tour)
5/6/05 - Cleveland, OH - Brave Words & Bloody Knuckles Festival - The Odeon
5/21/05 - Academy of Shredfest - Steel Music Hall - Rochester, NY
- more dates to follow

"It's All Good" Tour.
Chris Caffery will bring his "Faces" live when he headlines the upcoming
tour. Featured in his band are TSO /Savatage drummer Jeff Plate and TSO
bassist Dave Z.

The tour will feature 4 other acts.
The Alex Skolnick Trio - Featuring Testament and TSO lead guitarist Alex
Skolnick.
Katrina Chester - Featuring Katrina Chester from Luxx and TSO on vocals.
ZO2 - Featuring Dave Z on bass, the band opened up the 2004 Kiss/Poison US
tour.
Steve Broderick Band - TSO vocalist supporting his first solo release.

UNEXPECT
June 4 @ Galy fest, Montreal with Neuraxis, Ghoulunatics, Blinded by Faith.



TENTATIVE RELEASE SCHEDULE 2005:
May:
THINE EYES BLEED - In The Wake of Separation

June:
SUBTERRANEAN MASQUERADE - Suspended Animation Dreams
ANTIMATTER - Planetary Confinement

And Beyond:
EPICA - tba
MIDNIGHT - (X-Crimson Glory singer)
UNEXPECT - tba (summer release)
ULVER - Blood Inside
MADDER MORTEM - tba
CRISIS - Signatures of Suvival (DVD)

The End Records
331 Rio Grande #58
SLC, UT 84101 USA
Fax: (801) 355-3091
theend@...

"The End Of Music As We Know It"
_________________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: March 27, 2005
(R) = Requested

Green Carnation "The Quiet Offspring"
Elusive Travel "All the Things I'd Die For"
Thou Art Lord "Baphomet's Meteor"
Long Winter's Stare "Blood of the Nazarene / He is Inasne"
Moonspell "Tenebrarum Oratorium I"
Future 86 "Let's Go"
Judas Priest "Judas Rising"
Midnattsol "Unpayable Silence"
Usurper "Conquest of the Grotesque"
Graveworm "I - The Machine"
Gizmachi "The Answer"
COC "Stonebreaker"
Pure Sweet Hell "Scared about Everything"
Impelliteri "Punk" (R)
Kylesa "Fractured"
Apocalyptica "Somewhere Around Nothing"
Sudden Death / Worm Quartet "Inner Voice"
The Pushrods "Girls are Perverts Too"
Scar Symmetry "Orchestrate the Infinite"
Overkill "Bats in the Belfrey"
Akimbo "I Think I'm a Werewolf"

** MYSPACE PIC OF THE WEEK **
Sun Descends "Quiet Predator"

Hanzul and Gretyl "Blut! Sex! Fire!"
HavocHate "Cold Embrace"
137 "In Vain Pt 1"
Existentialism "Dismantling the Gods"
Elusive Travel "Seperation... The Fastest Way to the End"
Burn the Priest "Goatfish" (R)
James LaBrie "Lost"
Hammerfall "Blood Bound"
Skodag "Waiting in the Shadows"
Caroline Blue "Mine, Mine, Mine"
Draconian "Daylight Misery"
Lacrimas Profundere "To Bleed or Not to Be"
Tristania "Shadowman"

** Tribute to the Past Set **
Keel "Lay Down the Law"
Cyclone Temple "Words are Just Words"
Lion "Powerlove"
Killer Dwarfs "Stand Tall (Stick to your Guns)"
Dark Angel "Leave Scars"

XP8 "Angel and the Beast"
Kreator "Voices of the Dead"

Feature Artist: Morbid Angel...
_______________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, April 1: Victim 6, Pitbull Daycare, and Society 1 at The Steel Music
Hall, Rochester

Sat, April 2: Amorphis, Into Eternity, Beyond the Embrace, and Solsprey at
The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, April 2: Worm Quartet and The Notables at Alfred University, The Nevins
Theatre in Powell Campus Centre, Alfred, NY

Tues, April 5: Soilwork, Dark Tranquility, Hypocrisy, and Mnenic at The
Icon, Buffalo

Wed, April 6: The Queers, River City Rebels, The Black Halo’s, and The Bones
at The Icon, Buffalo

Fri, April 8: If Man is Five and Others in the Battle of the Bands, Magic
City Music Hall, Johnson City

Mon, April 11: Overkill, If Man is Five, and Others at The Magic City Music
Hall, Johnson City ($15.00 / doors 6:30 / first band 7:30 sharp)

Wed, April 13: As I Lay Dying, All That Remains, and Throwdown at The Penny
Arcade, Rochester

Thurs, April 14: Madball at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Mon, April 18: Velvet Revolver at HSBC Arena, Buffalo

Mon, April 18: Pigface, Nocturne, and Scary Monsters at The Water Street
Music Hall, Rochester

Thurs, April 21: Strapping Young Lad, Misery Signals, Reflux, and Agony
Scene at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Thurs, April 21: Chimaira, Trivium, Stemm, and The Killing at The Icon,
Buffalo

Fri, April 22: The Pushrods CD Release Show at Castaways, Ithaca

Sun, April 24: Melt Banana, Hot Cross, and Robot Goes Here at The Noyes
Community Center, Cornell (8pm - $6 with CUID / $8 public)

Sun, April 24: Darkest Hour at The Icon, Buffalo

Sun, April 24: Trivium, Chimaria, Stemm, and Killing at The Magic City Music
Hall, Johnson City

Sat, April 30: Sulaco, Anodyne, The Heuristic, and Skodag at The Bug Jar,
Rochester


Sun, May 1: Dead to Fall, Cephalic Carnage, and Sons of Azreal at The Icon,
Buffalo

Mon, May 2: Murphy’s Law, Supersuckers, and Rev Horton Heat at Milestones,
Rochester

Thurs, May 12: Kreator, The Autumn Offering, Pro-Pain, and Vader at The
Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, May 14: Nipplepalooza featuring Worm Quartet and Powered by Satan at
Monty’s Crown, Rochester

Fri, May 20: Joe Stump, The Sean Baker Orchestra, Haunted by Angels,
Redezra, and Intox at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Chris Caffery, Metal Mike’s Pain Museum, Joe Stump, and
Scattered Ink at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, June 4: The Xtreme Soundscapes: Volume II DVD Release Show featuring
Never the Sunshine, Others, Punch Drunk Monkeys (in a rare appearance),
Elusive Travel, and more at Castaways, Ithaca

Tues, June 7: Queensryche and Judas Priest at Darien Lakes

Sat, June 11: Xtreme Soundscapes Post Release Show with Divinity Destroyed,
Future 86, and more, at The Haunt, Ithaca (Tentative)
____________________________________________________________________________
__________

TOP AMUSING STORIES...

Brighton and Hove Gazette.
Breaking news.
15/03/2005

A 32 year old woman who last year was sunbathing in the naturist beach
area and was unfortunately subjected to gull droppings, was rushed to St
Mary's hospital in Hove today due to abdominal pains and later gave
birth to what medics can only describe as a gull-like creature.
_________________________________________________________

'Blood-licking' teacher probed
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050310/344/fe276.html
Thursday March 10, 10:06 AM

A teaching authority in the US state of Oregon is investigating a High
School teacher and coach accused of licking the bleeding wounds of his
student athletes.

The Oregon Teacher Standards and Practices Commission is expected to
take up the case of Scott Reed after a parent filed a complaint in
July.

The local county sheriff's office said it found no basis for criminal
charges in what Sheriff Dave Burright called "bizarre" conduct. Reed
remains in his job after being disciplined last year for licking the
bleeding knee of an athlete.
_________________________________________________________

+----------- Bizarre Almost Unexplainable Events -----------+

A pair of identical American twin boys were separated at
birth in 1940 and adopted by different people who didn't
know each other. Each boy was named James, each boy married
a woman named Linda, had a son named James Alan and was then
divorced.

In 1975 in Detroit, a baby fell out of a building fourteen
stories up. Fortunately, it landed on a man named Joseph
Figlock. A year later, another baby fell from the same
building and survived by falling on...Joseph Figlock.

A nun at a convent in Clwyd tried but failed to grow mush-
rooms in the convent grounds. She died at the age of seventy-
nine in 1986, and a decent crop of mushrooms has grown on her
grave every autumn since. Nowhere else in the convent do
mushrooms grow.

In 1938, Phyllis Newcombe, twenty-two, combusted spontaneous-
ly at a dance hall during a waltz. Many people witnessed
this unexplained phenomenon, which has parallels with the
combustion of a British pensioner, Euphemia Johnson, who
died after suddenly bursting into fire during her afternoon
tea.

In 1984, a Greek Orthodox priest was cooking a sheep's head
when he discovered that the sheep had a jaw composed of
fourteen-karat gold (worth some $6,000). The sheep had come
from a herd owned by the priest's own brother-in-law, and he
couldn't come up with any plausible explanation.

In 1986, American judge Samuel King was annoyed that some
jurors were absent from his Californian court because of
heavy rain, so he issued a decree: "I hereby order that it
cease raining by Tuesday." California suffered a five-year
drought. So in 1991 the judge decreed, "Rain shall fall in
California beginning February 27." Later that day, the state
had its heaviest rainfall in a decade.

In Bermuda, two brothers were killed precisely one year
apart at the age of seventeen by the same taxi driver carry-
ing the same passenger on the same street. The two boys had
each been riding the same moped.

[From "That Book of Perfectly Useless Information."]
____________________________________________________________

-------- Vibrating Sex Doll Shakes Up A Bomb Scare ---------

BERLIN, Germany - A blow-up doll caused a bomb scare at a
German post office when the package began to vibrate before
being delivered. According to police spokesman, "Workers
were unsettled when it began vibrating and made strange
noises. They were worried the package might be a bomb."
Police retrieved the sender of the package who revealed its
contents. Apparently, within the life-size female sex doll
resided an electrical device. The man claimed that he wanted
to return the doll because it would spontaneously turn itself
on at the most awkward moments. The doll's batteries were
removed and is on its way to be returned.
__________________________________________________________

---------------- What the Devil is This!? ------------------

MICHIGANTOWN, Ind. - An Indiana pet shop owner claims a
turtle has developed an image of Satan's face on its shell.
The turtle was the only animal survivor during an October
fire, and Bryan Dora believes the devil wants them to know
he was there. Dora says the image of a goatee and a pair of
pointy horns can be seen on the shell of the turtle named
Lucky. However, Lucky doesn't seem to be affected by the
devil. It continues to be healthy and act normal. Investi-
gators are unsure what caused the fire, which destroyed the
A-Dorable Pet Shop and several other businesses. Dora has
produced a DVD of the turtle's story that he plans to
auction on the Internet.
______________________________________________________

------------- Man's Best Friend... With Benefits -----------

BRUSSELS, Belgium - A 36-year-old man is on trial for having
sexual relations with dogs. The man claims that he engaged
in the act "out of love for animals" because the dogs are
locked up and unable to have sex with one another. He was
employed at an animal refuge and had posted numerous
pictures of himself performing bestiality with dogs on the
Internet, according to the Daily Gazet Van Antwerpen. If
convicted, the suspect could possibly face six months in
jail.
___________________________________________________

* Producers announced in February that they were still planning to
bring the three-year-old London stage show, "Jerry Springer, The
Opera" to America in early 2006, despite increasingly vituperative
protests of religious groups. The show features "Jerry" mediating
confessions in Hell between Satan, God, Jesus, Mary, and various
Biblical characters, complete with a raucous audience periodically
chanting "Jer-ree! Jer-ree!" Reportedly, 300 to several thousand
curse words are in the script (depending on who counts), and the
show's Jesus is a pudgy, diaper-wearing gay man who is apparently
coprophilic (among the many alleged points of blasphemy). When
the BBC televised a showing, it reported 50,000 complaints, with
some physical threats directed to the station's staff and their
families.
___________________________________________________

* People Not Sound on the Fundamentals: Ronald S. Webb, 22,
was arrested for fraud in Paris, Tenn., in December after presenting
a pharmacy with a legitimate prescription, to which had been
conspicuously added the narcotic hydrocodone, in a different color
ink. And Vincent Festa, 44, was arrested at a Radio Shack in
Oyster Bay, N.Y., in December when he attempted to return for
refund a computer and about $1,500 in other "Christmas gifts" but
which, according to police, he had loaded in his car a week earlier
at the same store and driven off without paying for.
_______________________________________________________

* The Continuing Crisis: The county coroner in Olympia, Wash.,
won a federal Homeland Security contract to buy a large shrink-
wrapping machine in case of mass casualties, thinking that
traditional body-bagged corpses are harder to transport and store
(February). And police in Fontana, Calif., said passenger Michael
Spearman, 31, caused his girlfriend to crash her SUV when he
angrily grabbed the steering wheel (and threatened to kill the
woman) because she would not turn around and go back home so
he could retrieve his Bible (January). And police in Chicago
arrested two boys, age 16 and 17, for assault after a 12-year-old
required medical attention from several wedgies the boys gave him
(February).
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...