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The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 22, 2005   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #159 of 377 |
The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 22, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
The Last Exit on MySpace: www.myspace.com/thelastexit

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** RECAPS FROM FIRE EATER WIZARD **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Joe, once again, started out the night as himself
(and, on this night, he would stay that way. But more on why and how that
happened later). Gene Simmons of Kiss showed up again before Jeffie arrived.
He told them that, despite Jeffie's denials of it, Jeffie had starred in his
adult movie. And Gene claimed that Jeffie had absconded with a bunch of his
adult toys, and he wanted them back. Joe told Gene that he sucked, and that
he might have to kick his ass, which Rick offered to help with. Gene said
that he was leaving anyways, that he had just stopped by to deliver that
message to Jeffie, that he wanted his pornographic toys back. Gene left.
Later Jeffie arrived. He had a banana in his pants. He told Joe that he had
brought something special for him. Joe told Jeffie that he didn't want
anything from him. Rick told Jeffie that he had something special that he
wanted to show him, that it was outside, and that Jeffie needed to go with
him to see it. Jeffie was a bit wary of this (he has gotten quite a bit
smarter, or, perhaps, has finally learned from all the hard years of
experience). He asked Rick if he was going to hurt him. Rick responded "of
course not!", reminding Jeffie that he was not allowed to hurt him. Jeffie
and Rick went outside, followed by Lance, who went along to observe what
would happen. Lance reported the events back to Joe, and all of us, on a
walky talky. He reported that there was a very large ladder out in the
parking lot. Rick helped Jeffie try to 'run' up the ladder, and afterwards,
kicked him hard while he was laying on the ladder. Then Lance decided to get
in on the action, also attacking Jeffie and giving him elbow drops onto the
ladder. Jeffie got stuck in the ladder, and they left him there hoping he
would not be able to get out. It took him quite a while to get free, but,
eventually, he did, and came back inside to everyone's dismay. He said that
he had just pulled and pulled (dirty!), :) until he had ripped himself free.
Joe and Jeffie got into a brawl. Jeffie attached himself to Joe's leg and
would not let go. Lance went to try and help Joe and dragged them both
across the floor trying to free Joe from Jeffie's clutches. Joe also lost a
shoe in this altercation. Finally they all managed to get themselves
disentangled from one another. Now, while Rick had been assaulting Jeffie,
he also took his Skittles, the ones that Jeffie wanted to feed to Joe. Joe
kept saying that they were not the special Star Wars Skittles, and that,
thus, he didn't want any. Rick said that he was going to eat them. Jeffie
protested, saying that they were for Joe, but, Joe kept refusing them, and
Rick had them, and began eating them. He said they were really good. Joe and
Lance told him that it probably was not a good idea to be eating those, they
had been on Jeffie's person, after all, so you know what Jeffie parts they
had probably been in contact with. Jeffie also kept trying to get Rick to
stop eating them, insisting that they were supposed to be for Joe (who kept
insisting that, since they were not the Star Wars ones, he didn't want
them). Rick told them that they were good, and that he didn't see what all
the fuss was about, the skittles, and he, were fine, just what did they
think could happen, nothing, of course. Whereupon Rick promptly passed out.
Pandemonium ensued. Everyone kept yelling that "oh my God! Jeffie, you
killed Rick!", in true South Park fashion. Jeffie kept insisting that he
didn't do it, it was not his fault, he did not kill Rick! Finally, Rick
seemed to be coming around. Although, he looked odd, wearing a strange cape
out of a Lamb of God shirt. They asked him why he was wearing that and was
he alright? "Lamb Of God" said Rick. Everyone breathed a huge sigh of
relief. Rick was back and saying "Lamb Of God", nothing unusual there, he
must be fine. "Lamb Of God" said Rick. And thus forth, that was his only
response to anything. Now, of course, at first, that did not seem to be
unusual. But, it became apparent rather quickly, that that was all he was
going to say. They became concerned, imploring him to snap out of it and
pleeeaaasseeeee say something, anything, else. Well, all that is except
Jeffie, who said that Rick was fine and that he liked this new Rick. Jeffie
began conversing with Rick, saying "Lamb Of God" to him, and having Rick say
it back to him. The words never varied, but the tone and cadence in which
they were spoken did. I think Lamb Of God must've been said like 10,000
times between Rick and Jeffie. Lamb Of God. Lamb Of God. Lamb Of God. Lamb
Of God. Lamb Of God. Lamb Of God Lamb Of God. Lamb Of God. Lamb Of God! LAMB
OF GOD! LAMB OFFF GODDD!!!! Wha? Huh? Where am I? Oh, sorry. It's just that
I don't think I have ever heard a word or phrase said that many times in
succession, and, as a result of so many repetitions, I became hypnotized by
it or something, and that's all I could say for quite a while too. I just
had a relapse. *smacks herself hard* There. Ok, I'm fine now. And back. I
hope Lamb Of God gives MO some credit for all the exposure they got on the
air that night :) They really should do something nice for them to show
thanks. After all, I'm sure noone else has ever mentioned them so much in
one night. :) And that was how the show ended. With Rick and Jeffie
exchanging Lamb Of Gods, and everyone else quite disgusted and upset. As
Jeffie never got to give Joe his drug, Joe never became Joe Jeff that night.
And, this week, Jeffie will be attending His friends The Pushrods CD release
show (to the great delight of the band, I'm sure), so, he will not be there.
Tune in and see if Rick will say anything besides "Lamb Of God", and to see
what else goes on...

On The Last Exit For The Lost: The absolute worst miserable excuse for a
co-host of all time hands down actually saw fit to put in an extremely rare
appearance. Yes, that's right, David of Lotus Project was actually there...
For all of one whole talk break! How nice of him! He was kind enough to drop
by to let us know that this would be his last appearance on LE before he
moves to Florida at the end of May. Now, since that is a month and a half
away, you might ask why he couldn't fulfill his co-host duties for at least
some of that time. Well, it seems he has some much more important things to
do with his weekends... He plans to get totally wasted on every remaining
weekend between now and then... Ah, the dedication! The loyalty! The
commitment! How will LE ever manage without him!? He also has his short
poser haircut now. And sadly, it appears that Lotus Project will probably
break up. Too bad, as they were a great band. They are however, going to try
and still put out their CD, so watch for that. See, because of David's
selfishness (just having to move away!) :) a great band had to die. Lousy
co-host, and lousy band mate. :) Crow was there. He talked about The
Pushrods upcoming CD release show. It's Friday, the 22nd of April, (this
Friday) at Castaways. It's in the middle of their 80's night, and The
Pushrods go on at 11:00. They will also be shooting the video for their song
"Girls In Vinyl Skirts", and they will be giving out free Pushrods stuff
(beer mugs and free beer included) to the first 50 people through the door.
So it should be a fun night, and you should all attend. Just Joe was there
and still gloating over his winning his challenge the week before (lasting
two minutes in a shoot fight with Azkath, and not submitting or tapping
out). Azkath told him that, for his challenge this week, they would have a
rematch. He told him that, this time, it would be outside, and that just Joe
had to try and last for just one minute in a shoot fight. And that, if
somehow he did manage to do that, he could hear some Triumph. Just Joe was
full of confidence (among other things) :) and they started outside... On
their way out, Azkath asked Just Joe "what was that, over there, by the
wall?". Just Joe got distracted (that's easy to do with him), asking what?,
and then saying that he didn't see anything. Then there was a horrible clang
as Azkath bashed Just Joe over the head with a steel chair. The hit was so
hard it left a Just Joe shaped dent in the chair and knocked Just Joe out
cold. And, since he was so nice and unconscious and all, Azkath took this
opportunity to return him to the basement, dragging him again, so that his
head banged against every single step again on the way down, and locking him
in there. After awhile, Just Joe came to and phoned upstairs. He was livid.
He said he hated them. They were laughing at him saying why would he hate
them, and telling him to enjoy the basement, as he would be there a long
time. Just Joe said that oh no he wouldn't either, as he had a secret
weapon. They didn't believe him and kept laughing at him. Just Joe said that
they would let him out. They said that, no, they would not. But Just Joe
kept insisting that oh yes they would because he had this secret weapon,
which he was sure that Foul Mouth Girl especially would be very interested
in. They finally asked him what this secret weapon was... He said that he
had Foul Mouth Girl's jacket, and was wearing it, and singing "Weird Guy in
a Little Coat". FMG became extremely enraged at this (fortunately not enough
to swear though, for a miracle), and took off for the basement screaming
that Just Joe would pay for this. Well, who can blame her!? I mean, who
would want Just Joe wearing anything of theirs!? I mean, you just never know
where he's been! *shudder* And besides, Just Joe was threatening to do
terrible things to the hostage. FMG Got down to the basement, and attacked
Just Joe. But, then there was a thud, and, unfortunately, Just Joe emerged
from the basement. In a moment, FMG could be heard, from the basement,
saying that Just Joe had knocked her down and made it up the stairs and out
the door before she could get up and get there. So, now she was locked down
there. Luckily, she somehow still managed to keep from swearing. Will
wonders never cease!? Just Joe was quite pleased with himself, and began
bragging again. And, apparently, The Almighty Monkey called into the show
again (not on air). He threatened to make a visit to the show sometime. Just
Joe and The Almighty Monkey! Just picture it! On second Thought, I don't
think I want to picture that! *shudder* And so went LE for that week. Now
Just Joe has lost two of his challenges. And, come to think of it, when he
loses them, he loses in the 1st second (first with Crow and the glass of
water, and then to Azkath with the steel chair, so, I guess, if he can just
get past the 1st second, then he's alright). :) Tune in this week to find
out what his next challenge may be, as well as to see what else may happen,
and who may show up...

*****************************************************************
Notes from Azkath...

You must all go see the Pushrods tonight. Ok, good, you are all going then?
Excellent. If you are female, wear a vinyl skirt, and you get a free CD, if
you are male, wear something Pushrods based, even homemade, and you get a
free CD. Ect. Come out, and be in their new video as well... No idea what
is happening on The Onslaught, Jeffie will likely not be there...

Last Exit, yeah, no idea what will be happening. We should have If Man is
Five, and I believe, Nancy, next week though.

I have updated the Xtreme Soundscapes part of the webpage, you can get to it
from http://welcome.to/aprod or from the main Last Exit page. And there is
now a poll there, if you have seen Volume One, go there and vote for the
bands you liked the most on there...

_____________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: April 17, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Arcana "Le Serpent Rouge"

Nightwish "Ghost Love Score (Special Edition)"
Mindless Self Indulgence "You'll Rebel to Anything (As Long as It's Not
Challenging)"
Bruce Dickinson "Believil"
Judas Priest "Eulogy"
Orphaned Land "A Never Ending Way - Live"
Impelliteri "Crushing Daze"
GZR "Pardon my Depression"
Still Remains "To Live and Die by Fire"
Fantomas "4/17/05 Sunday"
The Esoteric "Ram-Faced Boy"
Force of Evil "Hobb's End"
Napalm Death "The Great and the Good"
Clutter "Coldsores"
Brainstorm "Worlds Are Coming Through"
Corrosion of Conformity "It Is That Way"
Deconstruct "Welcome to the End"
The Pushrods "A Pretty Thing"

** MYSPACE PICK OF THE WEEK **
GAIA "Waiting Is"

Apocalyptica "Somewhere Around Nothing"
Withering Surface "Exit Sculpture"
Sun Descends " Repeater of Births"
Another Day Late "Of That Night"
Never the Sunshine "Dirt"
If Man is Five "Hemorrage - Live"
Divinity Destroyed "Prism - Live"
Elusive Travel "My Heart is Healed Because I Finally Killed You - Live"
Others "Powers that Be"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Don't Ask Me"
Mindless Self Indulgence "Tom Sawyer"
Worm Quartet / Sudden Death "Inner Voice" (R)
Mors Principium Est "Pure"
Warblade "The Arsenal"
Merit "Found / Man on a String"
Green Carnation "When I Was You"
Betray My Secrets "Shamantic Dream"
Orphaned Land "The Beloved's Cry"

** MYSPACE BONUS PICK OF THE WEEK **
Mastermind "Broken"

Neaera "Broken Spine"
The Loiterer's "Ron Jeremy"
Foetus Inc. "Dead Christian"
Primus "Mr. Krinkle"
GWAR "Sick of U" (R)
Pyogenesis "It's on Me"
Exhorder "Slaughter in the Vatican"
inRed "When You Die"
Future 86 "I Want It All"
Bruce Dickinson "Navigate the Seas of the Sun"
Draconian "The Everlasting Scar"
Elusive Travel "Seperation"

Feature Artist: Anacrusis...
_________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, April 22: The Pushrods CD Release Show at Castaways, Ithaca

Fri, April 22: Overkill at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sun, April 24: Melt Banana, Hot Cross, and Robot Goes Here at The Noyes
Community Center, Cornell (8pm - $6 with CUID / $8 public)

Sun, April 24: Darkest Hour at The Icon, Buffalo

Sun, April 24: Trivium, Chimaria, Stemm, and Killing at The Magic City Music
Hall, Johnson City

Weds April 27: Next Stop Willoughby (featuring 2 members of PDM) at the
Cybercafe West, Main Street, Binghamton, NY

Fri, April 29: Bonejar, A Different Self, Ayurveda, and Indira at The Haunt,
Ithaca

Sat, April 30: Sulaco, Anodyne, The Heuristic, and Skodag at The Bug Jar,
Rochester

Sat, April 30: Addler’s Appetite at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, April 30: 137 at Tudor Lounge, Buffalo

Sun, May 1: Dead to Fall, Cephalic Carnage, and Sons of Azreal at The Icon,
Buffalo

Mon, May 2: Murphy’s Law, Supersuckers, and Rev Horton Heat at Milestones,
Rochester

Wed, May 4: Terror, Cephalic Carnage, Zao, and Shadows Fall at The Magic
City Music Hall, Rochester

Fri, May 6: Wednesday 13 at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Thurs, May 12: Kreator, The Autumn Offering, and Vader at The Penny Arcade,
Rochester

Sat, May 14: Another Day Late at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, May 14: Nipplepalooza featuring Worm Quartet and Powered by Satan at
Monty’s Crown, Rochester

Thurs, May 19: Pigface, Nocturne, and Scary Monsters at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 20: Joe Stump, The Sean Baker Orchestra, Redezra, and Intox at The
Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Chris Caffery, Metal Mike’s Pain Museum, Joe Stump, and
Scattered Ink at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, June 4: The Xtreme Soundscapes: Volume II DVD Release Show featuring
Never the Sunshine, If Man is Five, Elusive Travel, Divinity Destroyed,
Others, and Punch Drunk Monkeys (in a rare appearance) at Castaways, Ithaca.
This is also the 11th Anniversary of The Last Exit for the Lost, and will be
a part of Ithaca-Fest.

Tues, June 7: Queensryche and Judas Priest at Darien Lakes

Sat, June 11: Xtreme Soundscapes Post Release Show with The Pushrods, inRed,
The Loiterer’s, and Future 86 at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, June 11: Manowar and Rhapsody at The Icon, Buffalo

Sat, June 18: Clutter at The Cortland Youth Bureau, Cortland

Fri, July 1: Crisis, MOD, and Beyond the Embrace at The Continental, Buffalo

Thurs, July 21: Ozzfest at Darien Lake

Thurs, Aug 11: Cinderella, Ratt, Quiet Riot, and Firehouse at Shea’s
Performing Arts Center, Buffalo
____________________________________________________________

TOP STRANGE STORIES OF THE WEEK...

+------------ Bizarre Letters Sent To Landlords ------------+

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until
it is clear.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the
man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away
from the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the
kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and
would like a third, so will you please send someone to do
something about it.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a
funny color and not fit to drink.

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an
old age pensioner and need it straight away.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife
got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's
new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools
to finish the job and keep my wife happy.
___________________________________________________________

+------- Bizarre Things Said During a Job Interview -------+

Employers listed the "most unusual" questions that have been
asked by job candidates.

"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"

"Do I have to dress for the next interview?"

"Will the company move my rock collection from California to
Maryland?"

"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"

"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"

"Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"

"Sometimes I feel like smashing things."

"Once a week, I usually feel hot all over."

"I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker."

"If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."

"I would have been more successful if nobody would have
snitched on me."
_____________________________________________________

* In 1992, News of the Weird reported that artist Janine Antoni
carved huge blocks of chocolate and lard using her teeth, but at
New York City's "LMAKprojects" gallery in February, artist
Emily Katrencik gnawed sections of the drywall separating the
gallery's exhibition space from the director's office, for 30 minutes
a day, five days a week. Katrencik said she concentrates on
thinking of "the things in the wall that are good for me, like
calcium and iron." But, she said, "I prefer cast concrete because it
has a more metallic flavor."
____________________________________________________

* Tennessee state Sen. John Ford testified in a juvenile court
hearing in January that his child support payments should be
reduced, in accordance with a state law that he had introduced on
behalf of fathers with many children. Ford owns two homes, lives
part-time in one with his ex-wife and their three children (with
another on the way), and lives part-time in the other with an ex-
girlfriend and their two children. Hence, he said, he should have
lesser payments to a third woman, who is the mother of his 10-
year-old daughter.
____________________________________________________

* Recurring Themes: The police report column in the March 16
Newton (Mass.) Tab newspaper listed a "hate crime" committed by
someone who apparently left the familiar Nazi symbol on the dirty
window of an SUV. The police report read: "On the rear hatch
someone with their finger traced out 'wash me' and below that was
a swatz sticker symbol." (The officer is not the only one unclear
on Nazi history. In 1994, News of the Weird reported that a
murder defendant in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., had asked a judge for
permission to wear a Ku Klux Klan robe in court and to be
addressed by the "honorable and respected name of Hi Hitler.")
____________________________________________________

* Apparently important to actor Robert Blake's acquittal on a
murder charge in March was the lack of credibility of the
prosecution's witnesses, including an alleged methamphetamine
abuser who once thought his house was surrounded by large,
horned animals and "people dressed like sagebrush or Joshua
trees." To testify that drug users are unreliable witnesses, the
defense presented a UCLA psychopharmacologist who revealed
that in the course of his own drug use 25 years ago, he had once
crawled into a cage of monkeys that were smoking crack cocaine.
______________________________________________________

+--------------- Bizarre British News Bits ----------------+

>From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:
"Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the
back of the Church labeled 'For The Sick' is for monetary
donations only."

>From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen
in Christchurch, New Zealand:
"Will the person who took a slice of cake from the
Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as
evidence in a poisoning case."

>From The Gloucester Citizen:
"A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After
dialing an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear
Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her
husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer
Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint,
saying, "He got what he deserved."

>From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed Brussels Pays
200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes":
"... the money will not be going directly into the prosti-
tutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a
better life. We will be training them for new positions in
hotels."

>From The Derby Abbey Community News:
"We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we
stated that 'Mr. Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police
Force.' This was a typographical error. We meant of course
that Mr. Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."

>From The Times:
"A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflata-
ble teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster.
A coast-guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is
all too common these days.'"
_____________________________________________________

------------ Man Gives Chick Mouth-to-Mouth ----------------

COLLBRAN, Colo. - A Colorado man says that he brought a
young chicken back from the dead by giving it mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation. Uegene Safken of Collbran told the Grand
Junction Sentinel he found the chick -- purchased a few weeks
ago for $1.50 -- floating in a tub of water. The young bird
appeared lifeless. Safken first tried swinging the bird by
its legs to get the water out of its lungs and then began
blowing into its beak. He also tried yelling "You're too
young to die" at the Buff Orpington. The newspaper says that
Safken's girlfriend, Denise Safford, kept telling him to
give up because the chicken was dead. But, whether it was
the swinging, the mouth-to-mouth or the verbal encouragement,
the chicken started showing signs of life and chirping.
_____________________________________________________

---------------- Monkey See, Monkey Do ---------------------

JOHANNESBURG - It's hard to break a bad habit. Just ask
Charlie, a male grown chimp at a South African zoo. Charlie
has been picking up cigarettes thrown to him by visitors and
smoking them - and zoo workers want him to quit. "Baby
chimps pick up habits by mimicking adults and we think he
started mimicking smokers at his enclosure which probably
led to smokers throwing him cigarettes," spokesman Daryl
Barnes told SAPA. Charlie has already exhibited the signs of
a true nicotine addict. According to Barnes, the clever
chimp will go so far as to hide the cigarette when staff
come near him. Barnes said the most important thing to help
Charlie kick the habit is for people to stop providing
him with cigarettes.
_________________________________________________

* Communiques to Nowhere: TalkToAliens.com began taking
orders in March, recording people's messages at $3.99 per minute
and beaming them into space, aimed toward the Milky Way by a
huge parabolic dish antenna in Connecticut on a relatively
accessible FM frequency. And in December, German inventor
Juergen Broether introduced his "telephonic angel" system (at
about US$2,000), which is a battery-operated, underground
loudspeaker that, buried at a gravesite, allows someone to speak
into a microphone and have the messages amplified through the
dirt to the departed for up to a year on a single battery charge.
[Space Daily, 3-8-05] [Agence France-Presse, 2-5-05]
_________________________________________________

Science on the Cutting Edge

* Bureaucrats in North Korea's Communist Party, summarizing
their understanding of the way the brain works, announced in
January that, henceforth, all men would be expected to wear their
hair short (two inches, maximum) in that longer hair impairs
function by taking oxygen away from the nerves in the head.
(Balding men would be allowed another inch for combovers, and
hair length of women was not addressed.) [Tampa Tribune-AP, 2-
2-05]
____________________________________________________

O Nickolas Buckalew, 17, was charged in Morrisville, Vt., with
digging up a corpse and severing and carrying off the head, which
was found near Buckalew's home. According to court documents,
Buckalew had spoken fondly of acquiring a head to use as a bong.
_______________________________________________________

O Thomas Hunter, 55, was charged with stealing a case of brandy
from Eastside Liquor in Buffalo, N.Y., but he fell while fleeing and
broke several bottles. According to a Buffalo News account, he
"soon" returned "with a straw, got on his knees and began sucking
up whatever brandy he could," said a detective.
______________________________________________________

O Timothy Connor was arrested in Boston last weekend and
charged with two bank robberies and a liquor store holdup, and in
the latter, according to the clerk, he told her that she should give
him at least a 60-second head start before calling the police, or else
he'd be sending someone back to hurt her, and she said she agreed
to the delay, and that Connor then actually shook her hand as if
finalizing the deal. Boston Herald
________________________________________________________

O A Teacher with Standards: That would be Rhianna Ellis, 25, a
10th-grade teacher at NYC's High School for Health Professions
and Human Services, who had a 10-month affair with a student in
2003-04 but nonetheless gave the kid a barely-passing 65 on his
schoolwork (which he said he deserved, in that he is a serious
slacker). New York Post
________________________________________________________

O The upcoming World Multiconference on Systemics,
Cybernetics, and Informatics in July accepted an academic paper
that 3 MIT students computer-generated entirely of scholarly
gibberish ("Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of
Access Points and Redundancy").
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...




Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:41 am

seriahazkath
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The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 22, 2005 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am...
The Last Exit for the...
seriahazkath
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Apr 22, 2005
9:41 am
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