The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 29, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
The Last Exit on MySpace: www.myspace.com/thelastexit

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** RECAPS BY FIRE EATER WIZARD **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Jeffie was not there as he was attending his
friends (at least in his mind they are his friends) The Pushrod's CD release
show. Everyone was thrilled by this (except, I'm sure, The Pushrods). Joe
(old Joe, not Joe Jeff with no Jeffie there to drug him), Lance and Rick
were all present, and Rick was back to his usual self, actually able to
speak words other than Lamb Of God. They asked him what had happened to him
last week, and he had no explanation other than to say that it had been a
mistake to eat Jeffie's Skittles. Joe said that he was starting to believe
them about this Joe Jeff stuff, which, until now, he has been denying and
refusing to believe was happening and who could blame him!? Lance left a bit
early, at around 1:00. Then Gene Simmons of Kiss arrived again to their
dismay. Joe told Gene that he sucked and that he might have to do what he's
been threatening to do and kick his ass. Gene told him that he wouldn't
dare, that, if he touched him, he would sue. Joe told Gene that, if he was
still there at the next break, he was going to kick his ass. Gene demanded
that they play Kiss or his solo CD and instructed everyone to go to his web
site and purchase lots of Kiss stuff. At the next talk break Gene was still
there. He wanted to know why they hadn't played his music. They told him
because it sucked, and that they hated him, and were going to kick his ass.
Gene again said that they wouldn't touch him because he'd sue, and then went
on to say that Thor sucked, and Lamb Of God sucked too. Whereupon, both Joe
and Rick attacked him. They beat him severely, ripping off his hair, and
shoving his own CD up his ass. And that was how the night ended. This
week... As there is no Pushrods concert, Jeffie will be back. I'm sure he
will be extremely disappointed that he missed out on and did not get to
participate in the beat down of Gene Simmons, as he hates him as well. Rick
will not be there as he is going on vacation. Who knows if Joe will be
himself or Joe Jeff. And Lance will be there. Tune in to see what
developments take place...

On The Last Exit For The Lost: Just Joe was there. A weird, silly and crazy
thing got started and continued all night long in the chat room... The room
was quite full (as it almost always is now, showing that the show's success
and popularity, are on the rise. It always had both things, of course, but
the expanding chat room means a growing interactive listener base, which is
great for the show). One of the people in there got briefly disconnected and
came back in. And he showed as being in there twice. When some of the others
in the room remarked that there were two of him there, he said he had a
Doppelganger... And somehow that set off an obsession with doppelgangers and
doppeling which went on for the whole night. Soon every single person in
there changed their name to include Doppelganger or Doppel as part of it. (I
was Fire Doppelganger for the rest of that night). All sorts of silly
comments and innuendos involving doppelling and doppelgangers were made (the
words "doppel" and "doppelganger" were actually said more times, I think,
than the words "Lamb Of God" were said on MO the week before, which is
something that I never would've believed could be possible to top, but, I
think it was achieved). :) Then someone came in claiming to be a doppel
killer, and a war ensued between the Doppels and the Doppel Killer. It was
all quite insane and fun. So, you see, the chat room portion of The Last
Exit experience can be just as crazy and brutal and silly as the radio
portion of it. If you haven't experienced it yet, you should drop into the
chat room and join in the insanity as well while you're listening to the
show! :) You'll have lots of fun! And it will round out, enhance and enrich
the LE experience for you. This week, the band If Man Is Five will be on to
talk about an upcoming concert of theirs, and to perform acoustically on the
air. They rock, so that will be really cool. Tune in for that and to see who
else may show up, and what else may happen...

**********************************************************

Notes from Azkath...

Indeed, this week on The Last Exit for the Lost we will have If Man is Five
playing acoustically, and possibly abusing Just Joe. He likes it a lot when
that happens. www.blackazul.com/ifmanisfive. In the coming weeks we should
have a bunch bands on the show, although I have very little of what may be
considered a schedule at this point. I know that Missing Marcus will be up
on the 28th of May, as well I think that same weekend we will have some of
the Punch Drunk Monkeys. The week of the 4th, which is our DVD Release Show
for Xtreme Soundscapes Vol II, we will have at very least Elusive Travel up
playing acoustic, and Divinity Destroyed, not playing acoustic. Then the
following week, the 11th, we should have inRed and Future 86 after the Post
Release show at The Haunt, up to play acoustic. Should be an interesting
couple of months. In there somewhere as well, I hope to have Black Labeled,
Others, Merit, and possibly some other bands. Should make up for the lack
of live performances on the show as of late. At some point next month, we
should also have an article in Buzz Entertainment Guide for the show and the
Xtreme Soundscapes DVD... Lots of stuff coming up...

As for The Metallic Onslaught, there was the slightest chance that Shoebox
was going to be there this week, but, alas, he now has a cold, and for
Shoebox, that means no Metallic Onslaught. Rick, on vacation... I think
that means this is his yearly trip to the woods to dance with his guy
friends and drink lots of beer. Have no idea what is in store for the show
otherwise...
__________________________________________

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious
day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last
and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
-H.L. Mencken
__________________________________________
NEWS FROM OTHERS...

Announcement from Dr. Cyclops Records

http://diemonsterdie.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=2206

we are proud to announce we have teamed up with OTHERS to rerelease their
"Garden Of Rage" album!!!! For now we are looking at the album in stores
around june 15th so keep your eye out and of course you will be able to
pick up the album at WHN or from the bands website !!!

~Newly Remastered
~brand new artwork
~CD/DVD combo

very cool, welcome them - you will not beleive all the extra's you will get
besides the kick ass album "Garden of Rage", you will also get a DVD with
Live Performances and videos, plus tons more!!! all for a low low
Dr.Cyclops Price.

we have about 6 copies of the original "Garden Of Rage" in the WHN online
store, be sure to pick one up,

http://diemonsterdie.net/catalog
__________________________________________________

Show Listings:

MAY 7TH THE LOURDES BREAST CARE CENTER BENIFET SHOW
4PM ALL AGES $5.
PRIZES AND MORE.
THE SKATE PARK 44 CORLLISS AVE JOHNSON CITY, NY

BANDS: REFUSE TO FAIL
SWATH
OTHERS
MURR
NANCY
KITTY KAT DIRT NAP
IF MAN IS FIVE
GIRLS IN A COMA
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
May 21 (early)- The Cavern
Benifit for Peggy
101 Prescott Ave., Elmira N.Y.
With
King Snyder
Superdrive
Kill Baby Kill
Others
Iron Core
Kill Concept
All Ages / 12pm - 9pm / $5.00
Food, Drink Specials
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday May 21 (later)
Castaways 413 Taughannock blvd. Ithaca 14850
Sun Descends (NYC)
Blacklabled
Others
1 more TBA doors 9pm / 18 & up / $6.00
more info TBA
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday June 4th - Castaways, Ithaca N.Y. 413 Taughannock blvd. The Xtreme
Soundscapes: Volume II DVD Release Show
Featuring
Never the Sunshine (www.Neverthesunshine.com)
If Man is Five (http://www.blackazul.com/ifmanisfive)
Divinity Destroyed (www.DivinityDestroyed.com)
Elusive Travel (www.ElusiveTravel.com)
Others (www.othersgothichorror.com)
Punch Drunk Monkeys (www.pdm.indiegroup.com) / (www.crappytheclown.com
More info TBA
http://www.castawaysithaca.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 16, 17, 18th - Nick Stock 2005
20 year anniversary
60 + bands, 100 Kegs, Free camping
More Info TBA
http://www.nikstock.com

We are Playing Saturday at 3:30pm
We have tickets available for $30.00
That's just $10.00 a day for 60 bands!
__________________________________________________
News:

we will be recording the song "Burn the Flames" by Roky Erikson for a
Tribute to Roky! More info TBA
___________________________________________________________
The song "Powers that be" from "Garden of Rage" has been selected to appear
in the independent film "The Chest".
http://www.wjmproductions.com/thechest/index2.html
__________________________________________________________
Songs from "Garden of Rage" have been selected to appear in the soundtrack
for - Alliance Martial Arts training Videos - "Hi Yah!"
___________________________________________________________
The song "Descent" from "Garden of Rage" has been selected to appear in the
opening credits for "haunt", an independent film from Don Patterson and New
Freedom Films. "haunt" is part 1 of a trilogy
___________________________________________________________
"Others" have been selected to appear in the opening scene for "descent".
An independent film from New Freedom Films. "Others" will also be writing
the title track as well as contributing to the soundtrack! "descent" is
part 2 of a trilogy.
___________________________________________________________
We will be making a Video for "Winter of Misery" with Shallow Grave
Productions. late March / early April. It will be in the form of a silent
film.
___________________________________________________________
We will be working with Shallow Grave Productions again to make a video for
"I,Vampire" Late April / early May.
___________________________________________________________
* "People" will be on the new World Horror Network Compilation - OUT NOW

* "Baby's Dead Stare" will be on the new Bloody Mary Records Horror Comp.
out this October

* "I, Vampire" is on the new GPLK INC. Metal compilation!
___________________________________________________________
Attention Binghamton Music Scene.
Have yo been in a band that played origainal music somewhere between 1980
and the present? Do you have video footage of that band? Were you in radio,
promotion or were you a roadie? Hey, did you catch every available show,
just as a fan? If you can answer yes to any of these questions A-Bomb and
Mark Dickinson are looking for you. At the present time we are making a
mivie (a video documentary) celebrating the binghamton music scene in it's
hyday until present. This is a seious project! The documentary is called
SCENE (a documentary) and will star you. Please... Time is precious as the
project is already in motion. Contact A-Bomb at
shallowgrave@... or call 607-239-4111 if you want to be part
of this historical project. This scene has always stood on it's own, now we
have a history to write.
___________________________________________________________
Movie Extra's Wanted

"Others" have been selected to appear in the opening scene of "descent" a
film by Don Patterson of New Freedom Films. "descent" is the second part of
a three part horror trilogy. We have also been asked to write the Title
Song. Filming will begin this summer and we will be shooting our scene in
Binghamton N.Y.. We will be looking for Extra's to appear in the film. If
anyone is interested in being an extra. Drop me a line at
bloodsuckingfreaks@... (in subject box put film Extra).

YOU MUST BE 18 AND BE ABLE TO PROVE IT AND SIGN A RELEASE CONTRACT...
Serious Inquires Only and must be available for 1 or 2weekends. I will have
more info by the end of March.

www.othersgothichorror.com
band page: http://www.soundclick.com/others
__________________________________________________________________

For Immediate Release

April 27, 2005

The Sounds Of The Underground Tour, in partnership with House Of Blues, and
in association with Ferret Music, Trustkill Records, Metal Blade Records,
Prosthetic Records, Revolver Magazine, Music Choice, The Syndicate, Hot
Topic, Jagermeister and Pure Volume.com
Announce!!!

LAMB OF GOD--- the Headliner for 2005 SOUNDS OF THE UNDERGROUND TOUR!!!!!!!

Lead singer D. Randall Blythe proclaims: "Lamb of God are very pleased to be
included as the headliner for the Sounds of the Underground tour. The tour
has a very diverse line up, including many of our old friends, and showcases
established acts as well as many excellent up and coming bands to watch for.
Corporate politics had no part in the formation of this tour- this one's for
the bands and the fans, not some executive's paycheck. The party is coming
your way this summer - show up with your dancing shoes and help us bring the
ruckus!"

Joining LAMB OF GOD on this history making tour will be:
CLUTCH
POISON THE WELL
OPETH
UNEARTH
FROM AUTUMN TO ASHES
CHIMAIRA
GWAR
EVERY TIME I DIE
NORMA JEAN
STRAPPING YOUNG LAD
THROWDOWN
HIGH ON FIRE
MADBALL
TERROR
DEVIL DRIVER
A LIFE ONCE LOST
ALL THAT REMAINS
THE RED CHORD
FEAR BEFORE THE MARCH OF FLAMES

Sounds of the Underground:
6/25 - Lowell, MA - Paul E Tsongas Arena
6/26 - Philadelphia, PA - Festival Pier @ Penn's Landing
6/28 - Pontiac, MI - Phoenix Plaza Amphitheatre
6/30 - Winston-Salem, NC - Dixie Classic Fairgrounds
7/01 - Portsmouth, VA - Harbor Center Pavilion
7/02 - Sayreville, NJ - Starland Ballroom Parking Lot
7/03 - Montreal, QC - Stade Uniprix
7/04 - Mississauga, ON - Arrow Hall
7/05 - Cleveland, OH - The Scene Pavilion
7/07 - Minneapolis, MN - US Bank Theatre @ Target Center
7/08 - Chicago, IL - Tweeter Center Parking Lot
7/09 - Sauget, IL - Pop's Lot
7/10 - Tulsa, OK - Brady Village
7/12 - Atlanta, GA - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre Lot
7/13 - Orlando, FL - Tinker Field
7/15 - Dallas, TX - Smirnoff Music Center Lot
7/16 - Corpus Christi, TX - Concrete Street Ampitheatre
7/19 - El Paso, TX - El Paso County Coliseum
7/20 - Mesa, AZ - Mesa Amphitheatre
7/22 - Los Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Sports Arena Lot
7/23 - Mountain View, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre Lot
7/25 - Seattle, WA - Qwest Field Event Center
7/26 - Vancouver, BC - Pacific Coliseum
7/28 - Edmonton, AB - Rexall Place
7/29 - Saskatoon, SK - Saskatchewan Credit Union Centre

7/31 - Denver, CO- Universal Lending Pavilion

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT THE SOUNDS OF THE UNDERGROUND TOUR:

"SOUNDS OF THE UNDERGROUND TOUR, a hard hitting diy tour that brings high
profile live platform to bands that might not fit onto Ozzfest or Warped
Tour this year" - Billboard Magazine 4/05

"The Sounds of the Underground Tour gives a whole new meaning to scorched
earth." REVOLVER MAGAZINE

"I can't imagine a tour that is so efficient in finding the pulse of
American music. This has it all, and we are proud to be a part of it. Come
get your fix kids, this is great music for all of us bad people." Keith
Buckley / Every Time I Die

Check out our recently launched website (www.soundsoftheundergroundtour.com)
for tour news and updates!
____________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: April 24, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Arcana "Le Serpent Rogue"

Orphaned Land "Mercy - Live"
Anathema "Pulled Under at 2000 Metres a Second"
The Gathering and Wim Kratsborn "Every Day is Like 1000 Years"
Mindless Self Indulgence "Shut Me Up"
Korpiklaani "Pine Woods"
Moonspell "Tenebrarum Oratorium (Andamento II, Erotic Comprendyum)"
Beyond the Flesh "Is This Life?"
The Esoteric "Make Fine Dreams"
Astral Doors "Bride of Christ"
The Agony Scene "Screams Turn to Silence"
Bruce Dickinson "Soul Intruders"
Brand New Sin "Endless"
Orphaned Land "Ocean Land (The Revelation)"
Extol "Pearl"
Lilitu "Even the Vultures Have Moved On (A Tragic Love Story)"
LOSA "From the Ashes of Infancy"
Merit "Man on a String"
Worm Quartet / Sudden Death "Inner Voice"
Candlemass "Born in a Tank"
Divinity Destroyed "Divinity Destroyed"
Bloodsimple "Falling Backwards"
Mindless Self Indulgence "Tom Sawyer"
Bloodlined Calligraphy "Shall We Dance"
Danko Jones "Forget My Name"
Neaera "Anthem of Despair"

** MYSPACE.COM PIC OF THE WEEK **
Skullkin "Decaying Earth"

Elusive Travel "Seperation"
137 "In Vain Pt 1"
Napalm Death "The Great and the Good"
Cephalic Carnage "Dying Will be the Death of Me"
Hanoi Rocks "Obscured"

** BONUS MYSPACE PIC OF THE WEEK **
Missing Marcus "Water's Rising"

Pray for the Soul of Betty "Some of My Fucked Up World"
Nightwish "Wanderlust (Re-Re-Edit)"
Horrified "Avatar of the Age of Horus"
The Pushrods "Girls are Perverts Too"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST BLOCK **
...And Here I Lie "In Coldness"
Hades "Face the Fat Reality"
Pandora's Lunchbox "John Henry Has a Hammer and the White Man is a Mountain"
King Missile "The Adventures of Planky"
Meathook Seed "Famine Sector"

King Snyder "1975"
The Red Death "The Final Sphere"
Psionic "The Demon Enegy Cube"
Another Day Late "This May"
The Gathering and Win Kratsborn "Thunder without Frequencies"
Midnattsol "Tarefall"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Earthquake"
Kylesa "Welcome Mat to an Abandoned Life"
While Heaven Wept "Into the Wells of Sorrow"
Grave Digger "Always and Eternally"
>From These Ashes "No Trace"
Fantomas "Sunday, April 24, 2005"
Wednesday 13 "Look What the Bats Dragged In"
If Man is Five "Water"

Feature Artist: Gamma Ray...
____________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, April 29: Bonejar, A Different Self, Ayurveda, and Indira at The Haunt,
Ithaca

Sat, April 30: Sulaco, Anodyne, The Heuristic, and Skodag at The Bug Jar,
Rochester

Sat, April 30: Addler’s Appetite at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, April 30: 137 at Tudor Lounge, Buffalo

Sun, May 1: Dead to Fall, Cephalic Carnage, and Sons of Azreal at The Icon,
Buffalo

Mon, May 2: Murphy’s Law, Supersuckers, and Rev Horton Heat at Milestones,
Rochester

Wed, May 4: Terror, Cephalic Carnage, Zao, and Shadows Fall at The Magic
City Music Hall, Johnson City

Fri, May 6: Wednesday 13 at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 7: The Lourdes Breast Care Center Benefit Show with Refuse to Fail,
Swath, Others, Murr, Nancy, Kitty Kat Dirt Nap, If Man is Five, and Girls in
Coma at The Skate Park, 44 Corlliss Ave, Johnson City (All Ages – 4pm - $5)

Thurs, May 12: Kreator, The Autumn Offering, and Vader at The Penny Arcade,
Rochester

Sat, May 14: Another Day Late at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, May 14: Nipplepalooza featuring Worm Quartet and Powered by Satan at
Monty’s Crown, Rochester

Thurs, May 19: Pigface, Nocturne, and Scary Monsters at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 20: Joe Stump, The Sean Baker Orchestra, Redezra, and Intox at The
Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Chris Caffery, Metal Mike’s Pain Museum, Joe Stump, and
Scattered Ink at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Black Labeled, Others, and Sun Descends at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, May 21: Benefit for Peggy With King Snyder, Superdrive, Kill Baby
Kill,
Others, Iron Core, and Kill Concept at The Cavern, 101 Prescott Ave., Elmira
N.Y. All Ages / 12pm - 9pm / $5.00 / Food, Drink Specials

Fri, May 27: Immolation and Skinless at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, June 4: The Xtreme Soundscapes: Volume II DVD Release Show featuring
Never the Sunshine, If Man is Five, Elusive Travel, Divinity Destroyed,
Others, and Punch Drunk Monkeys (in a rare appearance) at Castaways, Ithaca.
This is also the 11th Anniversary of The Last Exit for the Lost, and will be
a part of Ithaca-Fest.

Tues, June 7: Queensryche and Judas Priest at Darien Lakes

Sat, June 11: Xtreme Soundscapes Post Release Show with The Pushrods, inRed,
The Loiterer’s, and Future 86 at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, June 11: Manowar and Rhapsody at The Icon, Buffalo

Sat, June 18: Clutter at The Cortland Youth Bureau, Cortland

Sat, June 25: Hate Eternal, Krisiun, Incantation, Into Eternity, and All
Shall Perish at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Fri, July 1: Crisis, MOD, and Beyond the Embrace at The Continental, Buffalo

Thurs, July 21: Ozzfest at Darien Lake

Sat, July 23: Soilent Green, A Perfect Murder, Into The Moat, and Watch Them
Die at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Thurs, Aug 11: Cinderella, Ratt, Quiet Riot, and Firehouse at Shea’s
Performing Arts Center, Buffalo
______________________________________________

TOP STORIES OF THE WEEK

+---------------- Bizarre Resume Blunders -----------------+

(From actual resumes as reported by Fortune magazine)

"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."

"I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat
progroms."

"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

"Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave."

"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institu-
tions."

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

"It's best for employers that I not work with people."

"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

"You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved.
No commitments."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free
to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no
one and absolutely nothing."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no
training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock
brokerage."

"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so
far."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping."
I have never quit a job."

"Marital status: often. Children: various."

"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employ-
ees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under
those conditions."

"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three
previous employers."

"Finished eighth in my class of ten."

"References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind
me."
_____________________________________________________

---- Is That a Sausage Or Are You Just Happy to See Me? ----

LONDON - You have to pay attention to many things while
driving, but one thing a motorist wasn't looking out for was
a piece of flying sausage. He is recovering after a frozen
sausage hurtled into the window of his moving car, breaking
his nose. "He was driving his car when the offending item
came through his open window and hit him on the nose," a
spokesman said. The 46-year-old managed to stop safely,
before passers-by came to his aid. He had been driving home
from work when he saw a car coming the other way and then
felt a pain in his nose. "It must have been an incredibly
lucky or unlucky shot to get the sausage through a moving
car window. I have never seen or heard of anything like this
before," the spokesman added.
___________________________________________________

+--------------- Bizarre Colonoscopy Humor ----------------+

[A physician claims these are actual comments from his
patients made while he was performing colonoscopies.]

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has
gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.
You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my
head is not, in fact, up there?"
__________________________________________________

* The inspirational Charles Gonsoulin of Los Angeles, pursuing a
Canadian woman he had met on the Internet, sneaked across the
border on foot in February from the North Dakota side (because a
1984 crime would have prevented his legal entry), heading for the
bus station in Winnipeg, 75 miles away, even though he had no
experience with sub-zero (F) temperatures. When police picked
him up just inside Canada, he was disoriented and with such
frostbite that he lost 10 fingers and most toes, but, he said later, "It
was all worth it for me. It's the difference between sitting around
dreaming about things and going out and getting them." "I know
my life is complete." He was scheduled for deportation as soon as
he recovers, and the pair still haven't met. The woman lives near
Montreal, 1,400 miles from Winnipeg.
______________________________________________________

* A female Zimbabwean athlete who had won several track and
field events at meets in Botswana and Mauritius was arrested in
Harare in February after authorities discovered she actually had a
small penis. Samulkeliso Sithole, 17, said she was born a
hermaphrodite but that her parents had paid a traditional healer to
make her totally female, and, "because" her parents failed to pay
the healer's full fee, the penis had begun to grow.
___________________________________________________

* Not My Fault: In separate incidents, trespassers Philip Dederer,
20, in Australia and Carl Murphy, 18, in England, were awarded
the equivalent of around US$1 million each in March after they
were injured even though blatantly ignoring no-trespassing signs.
Dederer, now a paraplegic, had disregarded no-diving signs and
continued to jump into the Wallamba River until an accident
occurred. A sympathetic judge regarded the signs inadequate, in
that none said that diving was "dangerous." Murphy, now partially
blinded and with 17 metal plates in his head from a 40-foot fall in a
warehouse, claimed that if a perimeter fence had not been broken,
he never would have gotten in to have his accident.
____________________________________________________

* Dr. Thomas Perls, director of the New England Centenarian
Study at Boston University Medical School, told a conference in
Brisbane, Australia, in March that he donates blood regularly
because one of the key reasons why females outlive males is
menstruation. Perls said iron loss inhibits the growth of free
radicals that age cells. "I menstruate," he said, "but only every
eight weeks."
____________________________________________________

* Thinning the Herd: In October, two pilots of the regional
Pinnacle Airlines, with no one else on board, told air controllers
they were taking the craft to its highest listed altitude (41,000) feet
"to have a little fun," but then engines failed. In their last
communication before crashing (according to transcripts published
by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch in March), the crew asked "Is that
cool" if they took the plane to a lower altitude to try to restart the
engines. And in separate fatal incidents, two 20-year-old men
assumed that military flak vests are bulletproof. (They are
designed only to protect against shrapnel.) A vest-wearing man in
Orofino, Idaho, "dared" his friend to shoot him (December), and
another, in Hobart, Ind., asked to be shot to prepare him for his
upcoming military service (February).
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This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...