The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - May 6, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
The Last Exit on MySpace: www.myspace.com/thelastexit

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

*** RECAP FROM FIRE EATER WIZARD ***

On The Metallic Onslaught: Rick was not there because he was dancing around
in the woods with a bunch of guys performing fertility rites and consuming
alcohol, err, which is to say, camping... Shoebox had said he would be
there, but the poor baby had a case of the sniffles, and therefore, of
course, could not be there. Perfectly understandable. After all, how can you
expect anyone to do anything when they are suffering with the sniffles!? As
There was no Pushrods show that night, Jeffie was back. He told Joe that he
had brought a hamburger just for him. He then went on and on about how it
was a very special hamburger, a sexy hamburger, an extremely sexy hamburger.
He started doing an extended talk about how sexy he and the hamburger were,
how good they could make you feel, in a Barry White, or, phone sex person
type voice. He got quite involved in this sex talk, I shudder to think what
he was doing to himself during it! However, all of this proved to be in
vain, Joe refused to eat the sexy hamburger. Jeffie told them that he had a
big surprise for them next week, and that Shoebox would be there next week.
That in itself would be a huge (literally and figuratively!), surprise, but
Jeffie claimed to have a big surprise on top of the big surprise of
Shoebox's actually bothering to show up, and that all of this would happen
next week. Then Jeffie started getting rambunctious and belligerent. He
started throwing bottles against the window at Lance. Joe told Jeffie that,
if he didn't calm down and behave, he would cancel the show next week as
punishment. Jeffie told him that he couldn't cancel the show. During the
next break, Joe started talking in a weird voice, kind of slurring the words
is the best way I can think to describe it. For some reason this voice
really seemed to creep Jeffie out and cause him to freak out, which of
course made Joe keep doing it the more Jeffie begged him to stop. At the
next break, Jeffie blamed Lance for Joe's talking and acting weird. He told
Lance that, if it wasn't for him, Joe wouldn't be doing this, and everything
would be fine. Jeffie attacked Lance and they brawled. Lance beat Jeffie
down and choked him out with a big yellow wire. Jeffie was extremely out of
breath and distraught from being strangled. He decided to calm himself down
and make himself feel better by eating the hamburger, (the sexy hamburger),
not remembering until he had eaten it that it had been meant for Joe. He was
dismayed by this, but it was too late, he had already finished the sexy
hamburger. I suppose he could've tried to regurgitate it, but, either it
worked too fast, or he was too stupid to think of trying that, or probably
both. Joe told Jeffie that, because he had been a bad boy and started a
fight with Lance, he was indeed going to cancel the show next week. And,
since there would be no show, He and Lance decided to attend the concert of
the band Wednesday 13 that night instead. The effects of the sexy hamburger
began to show in Jeffie. He started to say "Lamb Of God", over and over and
over again. Like Rick had done two weeks before, but, in a different way.
His "Lamb Of Gods" kept getting progressively more and more aggressive. He
was in a trance and was acting like a zombie. And that's how the night
ended, with the zombie Jeffie's "Lamb Of Gods" becoming more and more
frantic. However, the Cancellation of the show was merely a ruse to cause
Jeffie to not show up. We will have to see if it works...So tune in tonight
to see if Jeffie is back to his normal (or for what passes for normal for
him) self, able to say anything besides "Lamb Of God", and to see if
Jeffie's promised big surprise materializes. I seriously doubt if Shoebox
will materialize, but, hey, you never know, miracles can happen. And Rick
will be back from his big alcohol consuming fertility ceremonies in the
woods.

On The Last Exit For The Lost: Angela, the Vocalist from If Man Is Five was
there, (unfortunately band mate Brianna was ill and thus could not make it).
She was there to talk about an upcoming concert. Saturday, May 7th (this
Saturday) If Man Is Five and a bunch of bands, one of which is another LE
visitor and favorite, the band Others, will be performing at The Lordes
Breast Care benefit at The Skatepark In Johnson City. It costs $5 and should
be a great show, so you should attend it! Angela performed lots of If Man Is
Five songs acoustically on the air. She has an awesome extremely powerful
voice as anyone who is at all familiar with the band knows. Her performances
on LE rocked, her powerful voice blowing out all the levels as usual. It was
awesome! A member of Lotus Project was there. No, of course not David, the
worst co-host ever, he's too busy getting totally wasted every weekend,
which is more important to him than his co-hosting duties, to bother to put
in an appearance. No, it was Pat, the guitarist. Just Joe was there and
being his usual stupid annoying obnoxious self. He and Azkath got into a
fight, one which was to be the first of many that night. This one started
when Just Joe threw a cup of water at Azkath. It hit the board, hitting a
button that caused a squealing sound. Azkath grabbed a cup, put a little
water in it, and began chasing Just Joe. Just Joe grabbed Pat and pulled him
in front of him, meaning to use him as a human shield against the water he
knew Azkath wanted to throw on him. But Pat just casually reached back and
tossed his own cup of water (which had much more water in it than the one
Azkath had), right into Just Joe's face. Pat was roundly congratulated for
his nice work. It was decided that although Just Joe had not been told this
beforehand, (who cares about such minor unimportant technicalities!?), that
that was going to be considered his challenge for that night, which, of
course, he had now lost. Just Joe just doesn't seem to do too well with any
challenges involving glasses of water apparently. Pat got to pick a song to
be played for winning the Just Joe Challenge, and Just Joe did not get to
pick one for losing his challenge. Then there was another brawl. Pat threw
Just Joe on the ground, and Azkath stepped on his head and made it bleed.
Later, Just Joe was becoming rambunctious and annoying yet again (he just
can't seem to help himself). Pat and Azkath both attacked him again. And
this time, in edition to thoroughly beating him down, they totally destroyed
his chips. Azkath sat on the chips many times. By the time they were
through, the poor chips were absolutely totally and thoroughly crushed. Now
you can kill Just Joe, you can brutally beat him, you can torture him... All
of this he is just fine with. But mistreat his potato chips, well, this he
finds absolutely and totally devastating! He was crying over his ruined
chips. Pat left, and Azkath told Just Joe that he wasn't going to beat him
any more. Well, not any more for the rest of that night, at least. In fact,
Azkath told Just Joe that the rest of the night would Be Just Joe
appreciation time. This time was spent telling Just Joe that they liked him
and loved having him there. And in fact, as part of this Just Joe
appreciation, Just Joe finally got a song by Triumph (one of his favorite
ones) played for him. And so that was the show. At the end of it, Azkath
told Just Joe that now Just Joe appreciation time was over, and that that
would be the last of it. So, this week, we go back to hating Just Joe and to
trying to destroy him. :) Tune in to see who will show up and what will
happen... To Just Joe, and otherwise...

*******************************************************************

Notes from Azkath...

We at The Last Exit for the Lost, would just like to say, We Appreciate Just
Joe. Really. Seriously. He rocks. Tune in this week to see how much. No
idea what else is going on. The Metallic Onslaught is, of course, on. I
mean, you don't really think Joe would go to a concert, do you? Of course
not, he will miss the MO for Star Wars toys, but not to see a band. Rick and
Lance will be there, but I don't think anyone has told Jeffie, I know I
haven't. If he tunes in, however, you never know...

Other bits and things... Working on an Xtreme Soundscapes MySpace page.
Also, the show this month, on the 21st with Black Labeled, Others, and Sun
Descends at Castaways is now an Xtreme Soundscapes Showcase Show. We will
hopefully be doing these regularly. Saw Terror and Shadow's Fall the other
night in Binghamton, missed Zao and Cephalic Carnage because my directions
to get where I needed to go were VERY wrong and got me lost for 90 minutes
or so. Terror were cool, Shadow's Fall... You know, they are a good band,
but all their songs sound alike for the most part. Granted, this is true of
most bands, but what got me was when they claimed they were going to do a
thrash song. They made a big deal about it. Then it sounded like all their
other songs. Oh well. They do have some great live energy... Something odd
we noticed, though, is that there were a lot of brand new-old school
T-Shirts being worn. What? How does that work? You have a brand new Slayer
"Hell Awaits" shirt? Something just isn't right about that...
__________________________________________________________

WORM QUARTET UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 5/2/05

Greetings, dammit!

How the hell are you wonderful people?

I seem to have a show in Brooklyn this coming weekend,
so here's some friggin' information!

WORM QUARTET EXISTING IN PLACES NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

May 7, 2005 - Brooklyn, NY

SUDDEN DEATH
WORM QUARTET
GODDESS PERLMAN

@ Vox Pop
1022 Cortelyou Rd.
Brooklyn, NY

7:00 pm, $5 at the door

Directions and more info at http://www.voxpopnet.net

--

May 14, 2005 - Rochester, NY

*NIPPLEPALOOZA*

featuring WORM QUARTET and POWERED BY SATAN
Hosted by Pisspot the Rabbit

@ Monty's Krown
875 Monroe Avenue
Rochester, NY 14620

Starts at 10 pm

"INNER VOICE" KICKING UNHOLY ASS ON DR. DEMENTO NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Inner Voice," my collaboration with Sudden Death, has now
spent EIGHT consecutive weeks on the Funny 5, and three of
those weeks in the #1 spot!

Wanna hear it again? Why not go forth to www.drdemento.com
and click on "Request a Song?"

It's finally available on CD now as well...Sudden Death's
new CD "Die Laughing" entered reality this past week, and
you can pick it up from http://www.suddendeath.org

CAR NEWS
=-=-=-=-
My stupid little Cavalier is currently getting a new rear
axle among other things. I'll be getting a new bumper as
well, meaning I have to replace all the stickers I've spent
the last few years accumulating. I'm really gonna miss my
"Rock Is Dead - Long Live Paper And Scissors" sticker, but
life goes on.

Thanks to those of you who wrote or called with well-wishery
following my stupid accident. The rest of you are jerks,
but you're jerks that like my music, so I'll continue to
kiss your asses.

SUMOPHOBIA RE-RELEASE NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Want proof that I'm actually making progress on this?
Feel free to go click on the "Music" thingy at
www.wormquartet.com and check out a new mix of "Hair
On The Soap," with vocals re-recorded in a key I can
actually sing in!

(Note: If the song isn't available yet, check it out
later today.)

ODOR NEWS
=-=-=-=-=
Splotches of infant regurgitation on my shirt provide
today's odor, a revolting blend of Similac and Gerber
Oatmeal with a hint of springtime stomach acid.

That's it outta my lame ass! Hope you guys are all
having a wonderous time doing whatever the hell it is
you do when you're having a wonderous time! Thanks
as always for your support!

Molesting trapezoids for Jesus,
-=ShoEboX=-


--
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
____________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, May 6: Wednesday 13 at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 7: The Lourdes Breast Care Center Benefit Show with Refuse to Fail,
Swath, Others, Nancy, If Man is Five, and Girls in Coma at The Skate Park,
44 Corlliss Ave, Johnson City (All Ages – 4pm - $5)

Thurs, May 12: Kreator, The Autumn Offering, and Vader at The Penny Arcade,
Rochester

Thurs, May 12: Angels Beneath Me, Ruination, and All That is Sacred at The
Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 13: Angels Beneath Me, Bone Jar, and Ruination at The Palm Gardens,
Cortland

Sat, May 14: Another Day Late at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, May 14: Nipplepalooza featuring Worm Quartet and Powered by Satan at
Monty’s Crown, Rochester

Sun, May 15: Still Life Decay at Nocturna at Castaways, Ithaca

Thurs, May 19: Pigface, Nocturne, and Scary Monsters at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 20: Joe Stump, The Sean Baker Orchestra, Redezra, and Intox at The
Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Chris Caffery, Metal Mike’s Pain Museum, Joe Stump, and
Scattered Ink at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Xtreme Soundscapes Showcase Show: Black Labeled, Others, and
Sun Descends at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, May 21: Benefit for Peggy With King Snyder, Superdrive, Kill Baby
Kill,
Others, Iron Core, and Kill Concept at The Cavern, 101 Prescott Ave., Elmira
N.Y. All Ages / 12pm - 9pm / $5.00 / Food, Drink Specials

Fri, May 27: Immolation and Skinless at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, June 4: The Xtreme Soundscapes: Volume II DVD Release Show featuring
Never the Sunshine, If Man is Five, Elusive Travel, Divinity Destroyed,
Others, and Punch Drunk Monkeys (in a rare appearance) at Castaways, Ithaca.
This is also the 11th Anniversary of The Last Exit for the Lost, and will be
a part of Ithaca-Fest.

Sat, June 4: A Day Without Rain, Fallguy, Bone Jar, and Setiva at The Penny
Arcade, Rochester

Tues, June 7: Queensryche and Judas Priest at Darien Lakes

Sat, June 11: Xtreme Soundscapes Post Release Show with The Pushrods, inRed,
The Loiterer’s, and Future 86 at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, June 11: Manowar and Rhapsody at The Icon, Buffalo

Thurs, June 16: Missing Marcus at The Rongovian Embassy, Trumansburg

Sat, June 18: RANZATSU (formerly Clutter) at The Cortland Youth Bureau,
Cortland

Sat, June 25: Hate Eternal, Krisiun, Incantation, Into Eternity, and All
Shall Perish at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, June 25: Missing Marcus at The Nines, Ithaca

Tues, June 28: Bret Michaels at Club Infinity, Buffalo

Fri, July 1: Crisis, MOD, and Beyond the Embrace at The Continental, Buffalo

Wed, July 13: LA Guns, WASP, and Wednesday 13 at Club Infinity, Buffalo ($18
advance / $20 day of show / 716 556 0110)

Thurs, July 21: Ozzfest at Darien Lake

Sat, July 23: Soilent Green, A Perfect Murder, Into The Moat, and Watch Them
Die at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Thurs, Aug 11: Cinderella, Ratt, Quiet Riot, and Firehouse at Shea’s
Performing Arts Center, Buffalo
______________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: May 1, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Byla

Mandrake "The Necklace"
Rage "Alive But Dead"
Elusive Travel "All the Things I'd Die For"
Bruce Dickinson "Kill Devil Hill"
Orphaned Land "Halo Dies (The Wrath of God)"
Mindless Self Indulgence "You'll Rebel to Anything"
Brainstorm "All Those Words"
Impelliteri "The Writing's On the Wall"
Beyond the Flesh "Prophecies of the Dead"
If Man is Five "Twilight Zone - Live in Studio / Azraela - Live"
Lotus Project "Storm" (R)
Sonata Nocturna "Hatefull"
Midnattsol "Lament"
Napalm Death "The Great and the Good"
If Man is Five "Water - Live In Studio"
Dormitoryeffect "What Have I Done"
The Gathering and Wim Kratsborn "Every Day is a Thousand Years"
Astral Doors "Lionheart"
Fantomas "Charade" (R)
Orphaned Land "Mercy - Live"
If Man is Five "Hemmorhage - Live in Studio"
Mindless Self Indulgence "Tom Sawyer"
Still Remains "With What You Have"
Wednesday 13 "I Want You... Dead"
Scar Symmetry "2012 - The Demise of the 5th Sun"
Worm Quartet / Sudden Death "Inner Voice"
If Man is Five "Azraela - Live in Studio"
Soilwork "Fate in Motion" (R)
Subterranean Masquerade "No Place Like Home"
Others "Powers that Be - Live Acoustic"
Anathema "Pulled Under at 2000 Metres a Second"
Cephalic Carnage "Wraith"
Elusive Travel "Seperation... The Fastest Way to the End"
Korpiklaani "Native Land"
Manowar "Sign of the Hammer" (R)
Black Labeled "Kill the Pepsi Generation"
Gizmachi "Burn"

** MYSPACE PICK OF THE WEEK **
Gone Forever "Of Flames Death Comes"

LOSA "Unsuspecting Mind"
Mutant Press "Broken Bones"
Judas Priest "Angel"
Force of Evil "The Sinister Show"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Deicide "Deicide" (R)
Pantera "Cemetary Gates" (R)
Creeper "Testing Me"
99 Cent Special "Ok? Aren't Wee?"
Triumph "Magic Power"

Merit "Useless"
The Great Luke Ski "Stealing Like a Hobbit"
Never the Sunshine "Show Me How / Follow the Circle Down"
Mandrake "The Final Chapter"
Love Like Blood "Whatever That Hurts"
Laibach "Entarte Welt (The Discovery of the North Pole)"
Sopor Aeturnus and the Ensemble of Shadows "The Sleeper (by Engar Allen
Poe)"
Night Conquers Day "The Perservation of Ignorance"
The Nefilim "Pazuzu (Black Rain) / Zoon / Coma"
____________________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

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