The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - May 20, 2005
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
The Last Exit on MySpace: www.myspace.com/thelastexit

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** RECAPS BY FIRE EATER WIZARD **

On The Metallic Onslaught: Jeffie was back, having figured out that their
telling him the show was canceled the week before had been a trick. He also
seemed to have recovered from eating the sexy hamburger and was actually
saying other words than "Lamb Of God". He told them that he had been in the
middle of an orgy with all his groupies the week before, when he heard the
show and how badly it sucked without him. He particularly singled out Lance
for being the main reason that the show had sucked so much. He told Lance
that he was sorry that things had gone so far, and that it had come to this,
but that he was just going to have to punish Lance by giving him a severe
ass kicking, which he said he would do at a little after midnight. Then
Jeffie got a phone call from someone whom he claimed was one of his many
groupies. They did not believe him and scoffed at this, so Jeffie let them
hear for themselves. A female voice could indeed be heard singing Jeffie's
praises. They told him that it sounded like a cylon, but Jeffie (and the
female voice) denied this. Then Jeffie went on and on about how turned on
and excited he was. Later Jeffie said that it was time for Lance's ass
kicking. He turned off the lights, so they could not see what was going on.
We could hear Jeffie laughing maniacally and what sounded like someone
getting smacked repeatedly. This went on for a bit. Then the lights came
back on and Jeffie said that, there, that was done now... Lance, however,
seemed to be fine, and didn't really act like anything much had happened to
him, so, who knows... Jeffie showed them a lesion on his stomach and asked
them if it looked infected to them. They told him that, to help it, he
should drink gasoline (well, of course that's what you do to cure things,
everybody knows that!). And then to try swallowing a match to be really sure
the problem was cured. Jeffie said he wasn't really sure he wanted to drink
gasoline, it's too expensive. But, apparently, he decided to do it, as
awhile later, he said that he had drank gasoline. He said that he had tried
to swallow matches earlier, but that doing that always seemed to make the
matches go out, and that now he didn't have any matches. And, then, once
again, something seemed to cause some kind of insanity and bizarre behavior
in him. This seems to be happening quite a lot lately. I have no idea what
could have brought it on this time. I'm sure that such a common, ordinary
thing like drinking gasoline, which everyone does all the time couldn't
possibly have been the cause. But, whatever the cause... First he started
laughing, progressively more and more hysterically for no apparent reason.
They kept asking him what the hell was the matter with him? He kept telling
Lance to stop tickling him. Lance informed him that he was all the way
across the room and was not touching him (that he would never touch him,
except to kick his ass), and that no one was touching him. Jeffie just kept
on laughing and saying that Lance was tickling him, and to stop. He kept
laughing hysterically, then started hiccupping, then started singing in an
incoherent kind of way ("Somewhere Over The Rainbow", was the tune, but with
made up words that didn't make much sense, something about Lance and walls).
And that was how the night ended. Btw, Jeffie did say that the big surprise
he's been promising us, was such a big surprise that it wasn't quite ready
yet, and would have to wait for a little while more. No Shoebox either,
something else that Jeffie's been promising us. Shoebox did make a brief
call in appearance on The Last Exit, but more on that in the LE recap... So,
tune in this week and see if Jeffie's sanity, or what passes for sanity for
him, has returned and for how long.

On The Last Exit For The Lost: Brianna, guitarist for the band If Man Is
Five, was there since she had been ill a couple weeks ago, when her band
mate Angela had been on, and, thus, had been unable to be there then. She
updated us on the band. They have a new bass player. Her name is Kate. And
Brianna told us about what projects If Man Is Five is working on and what's
coming up in their near future. Http://www.blackazul.com/ifmanisfive is
their web site. She also was asked and gave her answers to lots of those
crazy questions from theinsanedomain.com. Just Joe was not there at first,
and everyone was wondering if that sea monster in the basement really had
killed him. He finally arrived, around 2:00. Whereupon Brianna left as Just
Joe makes her sick (well, doesn't he have that effect on all of us!??). They
asked Just Joe about his experiences the week before in the basement (being
locked down there, and screaming in terror that there was something bad down
there). But Just Joe insisted that none of that had ever happened. It was
decided that Just Joe was obviously blocking out and repressing traumatic
memories. And everyone knows that that is not good for you, so, because his
well being is so important to us all, and for his own good, they locked him
back down there, telling him that he could not come back up until he
remembered everything. They called down to talk to him. And Just Joe was
whimpering and screaming in terror again. Telling them to please, please,
please come down and help (with lots of reinforcements, like tactical nukes,
preferably) or there would be nothing left of him. They kept telling him
that there was nothing down there, and he kept insisting that, oh yes, there
was, and that if they didn't get down there quickly, he was history.
Finally, Just Joe was back upstairs, still acting quite traumatized, so, I
guess the therapy was a failure. Shoebox called in briefly near the end of
the show to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of his 1st appearance on LE, (the
big show which was supposed to be the final show before Armageddon, which
the late Zoltan ruined by stopping Armageddon from occurring). Then they
gave Just Joe a sanity test (something which he was obviously in bad need
of), where he answered lots of questions. The test results concluded that
(oh what a huge shock here!) Just Joe is a maniac. I think no further
comment is needed on that! That pretty much says it all! :p And that was the
show. This week, Sun Descends should hopefully be on after they perform at
The Xtreme Soundscapes Showcase Show at Castaways on Saturday night. That
should be a cool show, so tune in for that and for whatever else and whoever
else, you just never know...

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Notes from Azkath...

As far as I know, the show this Saturday at Castaways is three bands, Black
Labeled, with their new guitarist, Others, and Sun Descends. Of those, Sun
Descends will be up to the show afterwards. And as FEW noted above, this is
an Xtreme Soundscapes Showcase, the first of a monthly thing that we hope
will be successful. Next XS show up is the June 4th DVD Release Show at
Castaways, then the Post Release Show on the 11th at The Haunt. The next
Showcase Show will be the Killeth Fair Tour, Crisis, MOD, and Jackknife, at
Castaways, Wednesday, June 22nd. Then we will have more in July and August.
That is the plan for now anyways. We now have a MySpace page for XS, and
that can be found at http://www.myspace.com/XtremeSoundscapes. Also, there
is plenty of info on our site...

I have no idea what is planned for The Metallic Onslaught, but dammit, you
know something bizarre will happen... They don't need plans I guess...

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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: May 15, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Byla

Metal Church "Watch the Children Pray / Gods of Wrath"
Reverend "Ritual / Far Away"
If Man is Five "Escape - Live"
Elusive Travel "Love will Crush You, as You Did I - Live"
Bleed the Sky "Borrelia Mass" (R)
Bruce Dickinson "Power of the Sun"
Kreator "Dying Race Apocalypse"
Silent Stream of Godless Elegy "My Friend Who Doesn't Exist"
The Pushrods "Girls in Vinyl Skirts"
The Best of The Last Exit "Zoltan and Shoebox"
Worm Quartet "Eat Here and Die"
137 "Untitled"
Type "O" Negative "Gravitational Constant" (R)

** MYSPACE Pick of the Night **
Loki the Grump "Brand New Me"

If Man is Five "Distorted"
Napalm Death "Climate Controllers"
Delirium Endeavor "lo / Aquarius"
Empyrean Sky "Peak of the Fall"
dormitoryeffect "What Have I Done"
Sun Descends "Sacred"
If Man is Five "Body Count - Live"
Dream Theater "Panic Attack"
Suicidal Tendencies "Join the Army" (R)
Life of Agony "The Day He Died"
Still Life Decay "Tentacal"
Pus "Bouncing Scotums"
The Red Chord "Fixation on Plastics"
The Gathering "Thunder Without Frequencies"
Never the Sunshine "Drag the Waters"
Rob Zombie "Living Dead Girl" (R)
The Best of... "The World's Not Jimmy"
Black Labeled "Almighty"
GAIA "Waiting Is"
Hemophile "Large Rock Off an Overpass"
Sentenced "End of the Road"
RANZATSU "Cold Sores"
The Great Sequoia "Dee Snyder"
The Best of... "Tamplifier / Jokes / Muppy / The Name Worm Quartet"
Worm Quartet "Let's Break Some Furniture"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Therion "In the Desert of Set" (R)
Monster Voodoo Machine "Bastard is as Bastard Does"
Temperance "Ashley"
Tommie Griggz "Top 40"
The Best of... "Any Way You Want It"
Cancer "Die Die"

Kreator "Terrible Certainty"
Slik Helvetika "She Kills"
The Best of... "The Bob Marley Song"
Death by Stereo "This is Not the End"
Bane "My Therapy"
Tomato Monkey "Tomato Monkey"

Feature Artist: Hades...
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SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, May 20: Chris Caffery (featuring members from Savatage and Trans
Siberian Orchestra), Steel Kingdom, and Shift at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, May 20: Joe Stump, The Sean Baker Orchestra, Redezra, and Intox at The
Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Fri, May 20: Angels Beneath Me, A Call to Arms, Robot Goes Here,
Commissioner Gordon, The Serenity of Sirens, and I Killed Lexicon at The
Fire Hall, Dryden

Sat, May 21: Chris Caffery, Metal Mike’s Pain Museum, Joe Stump, and
Scattered Ink at The Steel Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, May 21: Xtreme Soundscapes Showcase Show: Black Labeled, Others, and
Sun Descends at Castaways, Ithaca

Sat, May 21: If Man Is Five will be playing Acoustic at Coffee Talk (Court
St. Downtown Binghamton) Show starts at 8pm and is all ages.

Sat, May 21: Benefit for Peggy With King Snyder, Superdrive, Kill Baby
Kill,
Others, Iron Core, and Kill Concept at The Cavern, 101 Prescott Ave., Elmira
N.Y. All Ages / 12pm - 9pm / $5.00 / Food, Drink Specials

Sat, May 21: Angels Beneath Me and I Live with Zombies at Lucky’s Cortland

Sat, May 21: Angels Beneath Me and Rabid at The Cortland Teen Center,
Cortland

Fri, May 27: Immolation and Skinless at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, May 28: May 28th, at the Gemini, Ogdensburg, PA. Metal BBQ
1pm-midnight. If Man Is Five, King Snyder, and more. 18+

Sat, May 28: Merit, The Scarlet Ending, Marty, and Anomie at The Westcott
Community Center, Westcott St, Syracuse

Sun, May 29: Bella Morte at Nokturna at Castaways, Ithaca

Mon, May 30: The Independents and The Pushrods at Castaways, Ithaca

Tues, May 31: Fishbone at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, June 4: The Xtreme Soundscapes: Volume II DVD Release Show featuring
Never the Sunshine, If Man is Five, Elusive Travel, Divinity Destroyed,
Others, and Punch Drunk Monkeys (in a rare appearance) at Castaways, Ithaca.
This is also the 11th Anniversary of The Last Exit for the Lost, and will be
a part of Ithaca-Fest.

Sat, June 4: A Day Without Rain, Fallguy, Bone Jar, and Setiva at The Penny
Arcade, Rochester

Tues, June 7: Queensryche and Judas Priest at Darien Lakes

June, 10,11,12: If Man is Five will be in and around Toronto Canada, for the
NXNE festival and other shows. - more info on this tba.

Fri, June 10: Mindless Self Indulgence at The Buffalo Icon, Buffalo

Sat, June 11: Xtreme Soundscapes Post Release Show with The Pushrods, inRed,
The Loiterer’s, and Future 86 at The Haunt, Ithaca

Sat, June 11: Manowar and Rhapsody at The Icon, Buffalo

Thurs, June 16: Missing Marcus at The Rongovian Embassy, Trumansburg

June 16, 17, 18th - Nick Stock 2005
20 year anniversary
60 + bands, 100 Kegs, Free camping
More Info TBA
http://www.nikstock.com
We have tickets available for $30.00

Sat, June 18: RANZATSU (formerly Clutter) at The Cortland Youth Bureau,
Cortland

Sat, June 25: Hate Eternal, Krisiun, Incantation, Into Eternity, and All
Shall Perish at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Sat, June 25: Missing Marcus at The Nines, Ithaca

Mon, June 27: Chimaira, Strapping Young Lad, All That Remains, and Opeth at
The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Mon, June 27: Lamb of God at The Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City

Tues, June 28: Bret Michaels at Club Infinity, Buffalo

Fri, July 1: Crisis, MOD, and Beyond the Embrace at The Continental, Buffalo

Wed, July 13: LA Guns, WASP, and Wednesday 13 at Club Infinity, Buffalo ($18
advance / $20 day of show / 716 556 0110)

Thurs, July 21: Ozzfest at Darien Lake

Fri, July 22: Killswitch Engage at The Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City

Sat, July 23: Soilent Green, A Perfect Murder, Into The Moat, and Watch Them
Die at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Thurs, Aug 11: Cinderella, Ratt, Quiet Riot, and Firehouse at Shea’s
Performing Arts Center, Buffalo
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This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...