The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - August 12, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
The Last Exit on MySpace: www.myspace.com/thelastexit

Chat Room during The Last Exit:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** RECAPS FROM FIRE EATER WIZARD **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

Lance did some more of his black metal vocals, including some amusing ones
imitating and making fun of "true Norwegian black metal", in which everyone
was expecting him to blow out his vocal chords on, and the lyrics to a King
Diamond song which he did in all the different Muppets voices doing black
metal, that cracked everyone up. Thor arrived, and he was very drunk.
Apparently he was still hung over from partying so hard at his viking party
the week before, and apparently all week. He said that they had all left him
alone at the studio, and did not stay the week with him, and had not shared
in the party he had invited them all (even Lance) to. He was so drunk that
he asked Lance to throw himself on the floor (Thor always seems to throw
Lance down out of his chair by way of greeting), because he was just too
drunk to do it, the room was spinning around. Lance said that, ok, he would,
if Thor promised not to touch him. Thor said he was to drunk to. Lance did
throw himself on the floor, but he didn't trust that Thor wouldn't touch
him, and was taking no chances, so he went out into the hallway to do it.
(and, by "do it", I mean throw himself down on the floor, just wanted to be
sure and clarify that, as I know how your dirty minds will work at that
phrase). :p Then Thor passed out, right on his microphone. And that
released Jeffie. Jeffie was very happy to see everyone again. The feeling
was not reciprocated by anyone. It didn't take Jeffie very long to reach
into his bag and produce Bubbles, his purple and orange bird puppet that
squeals, squeaks, and babbles (bubbles babbles). :) Now, as this puppet is
a bird, it naturally has a beak, as birds are want to do. And Jeffie kept
referring to this bird's beak as it's "pecker". He kept tormenting Lance
with Bubbles, going after him with it, and pushing the pecker right in
Lance's face. Lance and Jeffie got into a brawl, and by the time the brawl
was over, Lance had knocked Jeffie out, which brought back Thor. Ok, now
another one of those bizarre events in a long line of bizarre events which
have been occurring for quite awhile now occurred... Rick was eating chicken
wings, pepper chicken wings, apparently with a lot of pepper,and Joe started
sneezing from the pepper. That is not the bizarre part. :) No, the bizarre
part was that, every time Joe would sneeze, Thor would transform into
Jeffie, and then Joe would sneeze again, and the reverse would happen. Thor,
Jeffie, Thor, Jeffie, Thor, Jeffie, and, well, you get the idea. Every time
Thor was there, he would freak out because Bubbles would still be on his
hand, (he just can't seem to realize that it's a puppet, and thinks it's an
alive thing that keeps growing on his hand, which needs to be killed). He
would tear it off his hand and throw it away, then, a few seconds later,
Jeffie would be back and retrieve it and put it back on his hand, and then,
of course, a few seconds later, Thor would be back and the whole process
would start all over again. Thor and Jeffie would both be very confused,
wondering how they would be in one place with Bubbles, and then in another
place without Bubbles respectively. First Thor would try to hug Lance,
thinking that Lance was the reason he was back, and then Jeffie would be
back, and do the same thing to poor Lance, also thinking that Lance was
responsible for bringing him back. When, in actuality, it was Joe's sneezing
that was doing it for some very odd reason which no one knew why this should
be happening. And so that was how the show ended, Joe had to leave to get
something to help with his stuffed up head and sneezing, and to get away
from Thor and Jeffie. And everyone else was eager to get away from both of
them, and the madness of having them change every few seconds. When they
went off the air, it was Thor who was in control after Joe's last sneeze. A
bizarre game of musical chairs, come to think of it, (musical body??), and
Thor was the one in control when the music, or, in this case, the sneezing,
stopped, so, I guess he was the winner. Tune in this week to see which of
them will have control of their collective body. And how long that control
will last for this time... Who knows what will happen. Tune in and hear...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

There were three bands present this night. Robot Goes Here, (a one man band,
like Worm Quartet, well, like WQ in that it is a one man band, a guy with a
laptop computer that he performs with, and also like WQ in that it is a punk
synth band, but there the similarities end, WQ is a comedy band, and Robot
Goes Here's lyrics are mostly more political, although some of his stuff is
humorous as well), Indira, (which features one of the former members of the
band Nonetheless, who were on LE exactly a year ago to the day), and
Ranzatsu (who are also The Anti Just Joe Army). Music was played from all
three of the bands respective CD's throughout the night, and Indira
performed a couple songs live and acoustic. Indira will be having their CD
release concert this Friday, august 12th, at The Haunt. And Robot Goes Here
will be on an Xtreme Soundscapes show Thursday, August 18th, along with Worm
Quartet, and two other bands. Ranzatsu have an upcoming show with The
Pushrods in Binghamton. You should all attend those shows, as they are bound
to be cool. Check out the LE web site http://www.thelastexit.org for Show
listings, which will give you all the information on all these shows, as
well as for any and all other cool upcoming concerts in the area. Also, the
bands were asked and gave their answers to those questions from
www.theinsanedomain.com. Now, when the night began, there was still no Just
Joe, and there had been no further word from him since that strange phone
call, with the bad connection, in which the only words that could be made
out were, "cold", "dark", "New Jersey", and "help". So it seemed that
perhaps Just Joe might really be gone forever finally this time. Ranzatsu
claimed that this was so, thanks to them, that they had finally succeeded
where so many others have tried, and failed, before them, and gotten rid of
Just Joe for good. However, no sooner had they said this, then Just Joe
showed up. (so, actually, I guess there were four bands represented on the
show that night, as, since Just Joe is back, The Squirtin' Chubbies were
once again represented). :) Everyone was quite surprised to see him. They
asked him where he had been these last three weeks, and what had been the
result of his treasure hunt with the strange map? Just Joe gave a long,
rambling, rather incoherent, story. The gist of this seemed to be that he
had indeed followed the map to New Jersey, and into a cave, which he had not
gotten stuck in. They asked him how he had escaped the cave. He said that he
had walked out. Ranzatsu interjected that there should've been no way that
he could've just walked out of that cave, that it was strictly a one way
cave. Then Just Joe rambled something about falling into some well, and
being trapped there. And something about finding some kind of shiny rock in
the cave. He said that he had just stared at this shiny rock for hours and
hours, and was apparently staring at it when he tripeed and fell into the
well, which is where he tried to call last week from. And he had apparently
brought this shiny rock back with him. There's something weird about the
whole story. I'm not sure how he did escape the well and make it back. And
he seems quite entranced with the shiny rock, more about which in a bit. For
Just Joe's challenge for this week... This time he had to survive having a
VCR placed on his chest, and having the VCR struck three times with The
Giant Hammer. If he survived this, he got to pick a whole set of songs. And
so it was done, and Just Joe did survive it, but then things took a
different twist. The members of Indira wanted to try breaking the VCR on
Just Joe, but instead, the members of Indira were convinced to that they
wanted to try having the VCR broken on them. Three of them took their turns
having the VCR broken on them, with Just Joe wielding The Giant Hammer. They
all survived. Then one of the members of Ranzatsu decided that he too would
have the VCR broken on them. He survived. So, only Robot Goes Here missed
out on the great joy and thrill of having a giant hammer smashed on a VCR on
top of his chest, as he had already left before all this took place. (I'm
sure he's just devastated that he missed out on that truly delightful,
wondrous experience!, who wouldn't be?!). Ranzatsu had also brought baseball
bats with them, which they kept hitting Just Joe with. And there was a new
attraction. Azkath had brought a CD of "hugging" music", (Yakkety Sax was
the music, from the end of Benny Hill), which meant that, when he played it,
Just Joe would run around the room hugging everyone, until the music
stopped. This happened a couple times that night. So Poor Ranzatsu and
Indira got Just Joe sicked on them. That's another pleasure Robot Goes Here
missed out on, which I'm sure he is also totally devastated about! Poor
Robot Goes Here! He just Missed all the fun! He should've stuck around
longer! Then Just Joe was told that Ranzatsu wanted to take him outside and
give him an experience that would be like a fun roller coaster ride. Just
Joe was a bit reluctant at first, but then he was reminded about his music
set. Of course, he had already earned that, but he was told that it would be
even better if he let Ranzatsu show him their roller coaster ride. Just Joe
went outside with Ranzatsu... They wrapped him up in plastic wrap, and
rolled him around outside, hitting him into a mailbox, among many other
things. When Just Joe got back inside, he did get to pick a music set, and
actually did a pretty good job with it, no Triumph or Elf, amazingly enough.
Then Azkath told Just Joe that he wanted to see his shiny rock. (ha! there
sounds like there could be a dirty translation in that somewhere, if your
mind is so inclined, as mine is, and I'm sure all of your's are too!). :)
Just Joe refused to give the rock to Azkath, saying that he knew that he
would take it away from him. Azkath assured him that, of course, he would
never do any such thing, where on earth would Just Joe ever get such an
idea??? Now, please hand over the rock so that he could see it, that's all
he wanted to do, just see it. But Just Joe said that he didn't trust this,
(Just Joe may be a slow learner, but, it appears that he may finally be
starting to get a bit smarter about some things, which could always be a
problem), he said that Azkath could only look with his eyes, not touch.
(This referred to the rock, of course, just wanted to clarify that phrase
again!). Azkath tried and tried to talk Just Joe into giving him the shiny
rock, saying that he was near sighted, that he couldn't see the rock from
that far away, and besides, Just Joe was blocking it with his hand, that he
needed to just put the shiny rock in Azkath's hand... Nothing worked. Just
Joe was stubborn. He, as I said, seems oddly taken with this shiny rock,
entranced by it, it seems. Weird. Finally, Azkath gave up, or at least for
that night, so, he never got to see the shiny rock, except from a distance.
Oh, and it was suggested to The Anti Just Joe Army that, instead of making
it their mission to get rid of Just Joe, they should make it be to come up
with creative things to do to Just Joe, as it is fun to have Just Joe around
to break stuff on, among other things. In the last portion of the show, the
performances of the bands Angels Beneath Me, and Black Labeled, from The
Xtreme Soundscapes Show, back on July 28th, were played back. They sounded
great and rocked. This week... Tune in to hear what will go on, something
always does, so don't miss it!

******************************************************
Notes from Azkath...

Ok, so this week on The Last Exit, um, hmmm... No bands that I know of are
coming up. That may change. We should have some, guests, though. Should be
fun. We will have Nocturne as our feature artist at 5am this week, and that
will consist of their live show from The Haunt a week or so ago, and some
songs from their 4 albums...

Also, note, The Best of The Last Exit for The Metallic Onslaught: Volume 35
is up on the website in the media section in MP3 format. Go get it. It is
damned funny, even if it is 2 years old. Lots of strange stuff with Shoebox
and Jeffie. It will only be up a short time because I am using most of my
webspace, so when the next one is done, that will come down. There are also
trailers for some of our Best of DVD's and the Xtreme Soundscapes Vol II
DVD. If you want any of those, just e-mail me and let me know.

Speaking of Xtreme Soundscapes, we have 2 shows next week, first is Thursday
at Castaways with Robot Goes Here, Bee Eater, Worm Quartet, and The
Pushrods. 9pm, $5, 18+. Come out to it, it will be a damned fun show. The
next night is the first night of the Binghamton Underground Music Festival
and also and Xtreme Soundscapes show with Others, If Man is Five, Divinity
Destroyed, and a few other bands. See below for more info and what is going
on the other two nights.

On Sept 10th at Castaways we should be having a show with Sun Descends, and
some other bands... And in October we will have the Vol III Release Show at
The Haunt, tentatively on the 8th of October, and a week or two after that a
Post Release Show at Castaways. More info as we confirm things.
_______________________________________

Dr.CYCLOPS SIGNS DIGITAL DISTRIBUTION DEAL!!!!

We are proud to announce that ALL artists under the Dr.Cyclops Label will
now not only be distributed into stores but we will distribute albums and
single songs Digitally through SRO!!! we are siked about this they do not
offer this to just any label... this will mean that for all you hip cats
that like to buy music digitally on the net will be able to pick up any one
single song or the entire albums and artwork from ALL of the major digital
Distro chains i.e.

here is just a small list of places you will be able to find our albums:
Itunes (North America and Europe)
Napster 2.0 (US and Europe)
Rhapsody
MSN
MusicNet
AOL
FYE
CTrax
RCN Music
Virgin Digital
MusicNow
Music Match
Sony Streamman (Europe)
Audio Lunchbox
Beatport
Musicload (Germany)
Karmadownload (UK)
Ruckus Networks
Download Punk
Future Trax

and the list goes on and on, thre are certain locations that are very
popular in Japan and Europe that are used more often then the US based, the
list is about 30 diffrent major sites on the net.. so CONGRATS TO US, one
small step form the grave ONE GIANT STEP FOR HORROR MUSIC!!!!!!
___________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Sat, Aug 13 - The Bug Jar’s (Rochester) 4th Annual Birthday Show
the PushRods, Bee Eater, POLLY PANIC and ST. PHILLIP'S ESCALATOR

Sun, Aug 14 - ELIXER (Corner of Goodman St, & S. Clinton, Rochester)
18 and over. Doors at 8pm.
Stray From The Path, Arson Ember, SKODAG, and Unscriptured

Thurs, Aug 18 – Castaways, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Presents
The Ithaca Return of Worm Quartet, Robot Goes Here, The Pushrods, and Bee
Eater

Fri, Aug 19 – Broadway Joe’s, Buffalo
Sulaco, avulsion, skodag, and confirmed kill

Binghamton Underground Music Festival!!
Xtreme Soundscapes Co-Presents...
Fri, Aug 19 - the American Legion Post 80, Binghamton, NY
www.blackazul.com/BUMF
Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day, C.O.E., Others, Ethereal Collapse, If Man Is
Five, and Divinity Destroyed

Binghamton Underground Music Festival!!
Saturday August 20th 4pm
www.blackazul.com/BUMF
Venue Club Ranelles, All Ages. FestivalAdmission
Pine Box Slumber Party, Entrail, Overture to Death, Refuse to Fail, From
These Ashes, and Prime Scheme

Binghamton Underground Music Festival!!
Sunday August 21st- The Sports Bar , Binghamton
www.blackazul.com/BUMF
5pm, all ages, Festival admission
Ranzatsu, The Pushrods, Abandonship, The Loiterers, A New Vintage, and Nancy

Aug 20th @ The Babylon Inn Long Island NY
with: the PushRods, Coded, Immortally Committed, Purple Pam, and Crackhead
Mafia,
Sat, Aug 27 – Penny Arcade, Rochester
Scars of Tomorrow, Still Remains, The Acacia Strain, As Cities Burn, and If
Hope Dies

Tues, Aug 30 - The Montage Grill, Rochester
Alex Skolnick

Tues, Aug 30 – Darien Lake
Gigantour with Megadeth, Dream Theater, Fear Factory, The Dillenger Escape
Plan, and Nevermore

Fri-Sun, Sept 2-4: MuseFest at Newhart’s Lodge, Enfield (www.Musefest.org)

Thurs, Sept 8 - The Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City
Twisted Sister

Fri, Sept 16 - The Haunt, Ithaca
Future 86 and Stone Soul Foundation

Thursday, Sept 22 – The Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City
Blue Oyster Cult

Fri, Sept 23 – The Icon, Buffalo
The Black Dahila Murder, Between the Buried and Me, and Cephalic Carnage

September 24th - Country Pines, Endicott
BenevoLectic 2005 - To Benefit The Handicapped Children’s Association of
Southern NY
www.benevolectic.com (not up yet)
To Benefit The Handicapped Children’s Association of Southern NY 10a - 3a
$15 adv. / $20 day-of
(the beneficiary is getting all of the door $ after costs: no BenevoLectic
partners make any $)
(CONFIRMED)
Dog Fashion Disco
King Snyder
Bone Jar
Break Your Face
Indirect Threat
Others
PsyOpus
DJs: Jachimuzic (pronounced Jack-a-Music,” featuring DJ Jackal, the group
includes multiple DJs who will spin between sets)
MORE BANDS TBA

Sat, Oct 8 – Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
Unearth, Dillinger Escape Plan, Zao, and A Life Once Lost

Tues, Oct 18 – Club Infinity, Buffalo
Crisis, Exodus, Three Inches of Blood and Watch them Die
_____________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: August 7, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Nothing "Silence Came Back In, Filling"

Powergod "Fall Out / Long Live the Loud"
Aurora "Aurora Borealis"
Nocturne "Alibi"
Indira "Poa Nemoralis"
Robot Goes Here "What All the Screaming's About"
Another Day Late "This May"
Worm Quartet "What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like"
The Pushrods "Liar"
Indira "Arev"
Indira "Tsunami"
Robot Goes Here "Bizack In Blizack"
Anorexia Nervosa "The Shining"
Fjoergyn "Des Winters Schmach"
Sudden Death / Worm Quartet "Inner Voice"
Indira "Telescope"
Yob "Grasping Air"
The Real McKenzies "Best Day Until Tomorrow"
Disbelief "For God"
Indira "Ashbrook"
Balzac "Season of teh Dead"
Nevermore "Born (The Retribution of Spiritual Sickness)"
Indira "Van Dorn"
Nocturne "Dirty Sanchez"
Jacknife "A Glipse of Hell"
Arch Enemy "My Armageddon"
Crisis "Exit Catacomb"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Lawnmower Deth "Watch Out Granma, Here Comes a Lawnmower"
Metal Duck "March of the Metal Duck to the Duck Ponds of Hell"
Sabbat "Blood for the Blood God"
Corrosion of Conformity "Green Manilishi (with the Two Pronged Crown)"
Hydra Vein "Rather Death than False of Faith"
Juggernaut "Without Warning"

RANZATSU "Cold Sores"
Grand Magus "Wolf's Return"
Gothminister "Nachtzehrer"
Cries "Where are You (Acoustic)"

**MYSPACE PIC OF THE NIGHT**
All:My:Faults "Alles Ist Gesagt"

Nocturne "Nothing"
Merit "Useless"
Queensryche "I Don't Believe In Love"
Black Sabbath " Master Of Insanity"
Embrace the End "It Ate Everybody / Biography of a Fever"
Lordi "Blood Red Sandman"
From Autumn to Ashes "Short for Show"
Coheed and Cambria "Welcome Home"
Banner "I'll Be Happy When You're Fucking Dead"
Belphegor "Fornication of Luminous Diabolus"
Bathory "Gods of Thunder of Wind and of Rain"
Abigor "Scars in the Landscape of God"
Ministry "Burning Inside - Live"
Cruella "Mr. Potato Head"

Feature Artist: Angels Beneath Me and Black Labeled Live from July 28th at
Castaways
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...