The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - November 4, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during Both Shows:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

Wanted to add something...

On The Metallic Onslaught:

Lance was not there. Jeffie had control of the body for most of this night.
He wanted to know where Lance was, since he and Thor had concluded that a
way to keep Pepe away, was to kick Lance's ass, since Pepe REALLY LIKES
Lance, and, Lance's insisting on being absent was very inconsiderately
ruining their plan. They told him that Lance was dead, or, rather, his
character was. It was decided that, since Lance's character was dead, that,
on this night, the role of Lance would be played by Kataclysmic Kelly. And,
oddly, Lance never sounded more manly and was much less pretty. I don't know
which of them should be more upset by this, and now they're probably both
mad at me. :) What can I say, I'm here to serve. :) "Lance", said that
he had always thought that Jeffie was really hot, and that he always enjoyed
being beaten up by Thor. Thor came out and beat up "Lance", and said that it
was much harder to beat down Lance tonight than it usually is. Jeffie said
that he had hacked into Joe's computer, and had his CD collection. We heard
all of Jeffie's and the previous versions of Jeffie's old themes. It was
very nostalgia inducing. Joe denied that those were his CD's. We also heard
parts of lots of wrestler's and former wrestler's theme music. And that was
the show for that night...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

The show was an hour longer (7 hours) due to the fall setting back of the
clocks. So, as it always is on that night, it was The Tribute To The Past
Show, mostly older metal. And, as it was the day before Halloween, it was
also the Halloween show. Present for this show were: Just Joe, Electric
Vodka Dude, Rub McGroin and his wife, Mrs. Rub, Gorgar and his offspring,
his daughter Nikki. Since it was Halloween, it was decided that they would
Crazy Glue CD together and decorate them all over Just Joe, and then send
him out to greet and pose with people, and also to go trick or treating and
bring them back some candy. However, the Crazy Glue ran out after only six
CD's. So they decided to string the CD's together to cover Just Joe with.
This wasn't going too well either, and it looked like the plan wasn't going
very well... But, Rub came to the rescue, making a cool mask for Just Joe
with the aid of stickers. They finally got the ensemble completed, and sent
Just Joe out in the mask and helmet, and covered in CD's (with the CD's
shiny side out, of course) and stickers. When he got back they asked him how
it had gone. He said that it had gone ok. He did not appear to have brought
back any candy. They decided that Just Joe was a pinata, and hit him with a
baseball bat to get the candy out that must be inside. Just Joe took quite a
beat down as the pinata. They also tried to Crazy Glue him to the floor, and
then beat him so hard that they knocked off all the glue they had glued him
down with. They played that game of everyone guessing what year each song
had come out in. There were many guesses of 1933, in remembrance of Ian The
Yeti and his performance at that game the year before. Then Just Joe said
that he had something really cool to show them, something he had ben given
while he was out trick or treating. He came back with... Weeellll, with a
thing. No one knew what it was. It made weird noises, which, to me anyways,
sounded kinda like turkey gobbles. They asked Just Joe what the hell it was.
Just Joe said he didn't know, but that it was cute and cool. Then, suddenly,
there were two of whatever it was. They asked Just Joe how that had
happened. He didn't know. Then there were more. It was speculated that
perhaps it was like Tribbles, or perhaps a Gremlin deal, where the things
keep multiplying. For Gremlins that happens when you feed them after
midnight. (leaving aside the heavy philosophical question of just exactly
when could one feed them then, since, isn't it always after midnight?). When
Just Joe said that he had fed the thing a candy bar, it seemed likely that
this was some sort of situation like that. They told Just Joe to put the
things back in the hallway. Awhile later, when the door to the hallway was
opened, there were many more of the creatures. And they started crowding
into the room. And, whereas before they had just been waddling, now they
were flying. Everyone started stomping on them, to the dismay of Just Joe.
He was told to get them back into the hallway. When Rub and Mrs. Rub left,
via the hallway, Just Joe was asked why they had been screaming. Just Joe
claimed not to know why. They opened the door to the hall, and there were
many many more of the creatures. Just how many is not certain, Just Joe
claimed that it was only in the hundreds, but everyone else said that it was
in the thousands. (I'd tend to go with everyone else's estimate rather than
Just Joe's, he can't count anyways). Just Joe was told to get rid of those
things or how were they going to be able to leave with the hallway full of
them. Just Joe didn't want to. They had Gorgar's daughter (as she had proven
that she is much better at fighting off and handling Just Joe than her
father is whenever Just Joe's Hugging Music had played throughout the night)
throw Just Joe out in the hallway and lock the door behind him. Just Joe was
told that he could not come back in until the creatures were all gone. At
the next talk break, just Joe came back and the hallway was empty. They
wanted to know if he was sure he had destroyed them all, as they didn't
trust him, as he still seemed very fond of the things, and may have tried to
keep some. He denied this. However, there was a suspicion that he may have
put one in Gorgar's car. We shall see if the things ever show up again. You
can't trust Just Joe, and besides, he's stupid, so he may have left some out
of sheer incompetence. He has messed up many tasks in the past. We shall
see. The feature artist of the night was Hallows Eve, a very appropriate
choice, since it was in fact Hallows Eve (as, as Rub had pointed out earlier
in the night, with another artist, Sabbat on the Sabbat, another appropriate
choice, we kinda had a little cool theme of artists matching the day there).
And thus went the one hour longer Tribute To The Past/ Halloween Show...

********************************************************************

Notes from Azkath...

Yes, well, um... Hey, maybe Lance will be back to The Metallic Onslaught
this week! Or maybe he is dead and there will be a funeral. Or maybe
something else entirely will happen. Maybe someone will sing a song. A sad,
sad song, in remembrance of Lance. Perhaps not. Tune in, find out.

And on The Last Exit, stuff will happen, strange things most likely, and
maybe a band or two will show up. Or not. Who knows? Not me... But we will
all find out together Saturday night...
____________________________________________________

WORM QUARTET UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 10/30/05

Greetings, followers of the way of the worm! Or maybe a
less stupid opening line!

I just moved into a new place, so I've been in the process
of moving stuff and setting up stuff and trying to prevent
my son from eating, breaking, and/or tripping over stuff.
But I'm taking a break from all of that to send you this
stupid note and let you know what you're doing TOMORROW!!!

WORM QUARTET MAKING NOISES IN YOUR FACE NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
October 31, 2005 - Ithaca, NY

*** CASTAWAYS HALLOWEEN BASH ***

THE PUSHRODS
THE MOFOS
BLACK LABELED
AYURVEDA
INDIRA
PHAT CAMP
WORM QUARTET

And special guest Master of Ceremonies E Rich

8pm start! (for real - I'm going on *AT* 8pm!!)

Costume Contest - $200 grand prize, tattoo gift
certificate from Medusa, plus more prizes tba...

FREE before 10pm- $5 after

@ Castaways
215 Taughannock Blvd.
Ithaca, NY 14850
Visit www.castawaysithaca.com for more info!

--

December 9, 2005 - Rochester, NY

** NIPPLEPALOOZA II **

with
WORM QUARTET
THE GREAT LUKE SKI
POWERED BY SATAN
and MC PISSPOT THE RABBIT

@ Monty's Crown
875 Monroe Ave.
Rochester, NY 14620
http://www.montyskrown.com

Don't miss this one, dammit! Last year's Nipplepalooza
was an amazingly fun time, and we've got Luke Ski this
year to make it even more geeky, silly, funny, and just
plain nippleriffic!!

(I can use the word "nippleriffic" whenever I want to!)

--

December 9-11, 2005 - Rochester, NY

UNY-CON

I'll be appearing with The Great Luke Ski - more details cometh

@ Clarion Hotel Riverside
Rochester, NY
http://www.uny-con.com

LAUGHTER IS A POWERFUL WEAPON NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The final track list for the upcoming Hurricane Katrina
relief benefit comp, "Laughter Is A Powerful Weapon, Vol. 2"
is up at http://www.funnymusicians.com and my gawd, it's a
doozy of a collection, with some of the best new faces in
comedy music plus unreleased/rare tracks from Barnes & Barnes
(of "Fish Heads" fame) and "Weird Al" Yankovic!

My contribution is a song inspired by the title of a spam
e-mail, "you were wrong cabinet sanchez."

It'll be available sometime in November, so stay tuned!

"GREAT IDEA" BACK ON THE FUNNY FIVE NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hey, that was unexpected! Worm Quartet's "Great Idea For A
Song," Dr. Demento's most requested song of 2004, recently
returned to the Funny Five, popping in at the #3 spot and
giving it a shot at making the Funny 25 again this year!

If you want this to happen, or if you want to hear "Inner
Voice" (my collaboration with Sudden Death) again, or if
you wanna request something else entirely, get thee forth
to http://www.drdemento.com and click on "Request A Song!"

On a related note, this has been an amazing year for new
comedy music. Shout-outs to Luke Ski, Sudden Death,
Positive Attitude, Henry Phillips, Paul & Storm, Hot Waffles,
and all the people whose names currently escape me for
churning out such bitchin' new funny stuff this year. My
CD collection (and wish list) overfloweth.

(And hurry the hell up, Raymond & Scum!)

WORM QUARTET ON XM COMEDY RADIO NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
XM Comedy Radio has recently started using a bunch of my
short songs from "Faster Than a Speeding Mullet" in their
station IDs! So far, though, they haven't played any of
my full-length songs...so why not drop them an e-mail or
give them a call and let them know you wanna hear some
full-on WQ?

E-mail: xmcomedy@...
Phone (toll-free) : 1-866-XM-LAUGH (866.965.2844)

UPCOMING WQ RELEASES NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
WORM QUARTET / PLAN 15 SPLIT 7"
Soon. Blankmind is raring to go on this.

SUMOPHOBIA RE-RELEASE
Probably even sooner. I just got the cover art (by fellow
weird musician John Mondelli - johnmondelli.com) and it's
damned nifty. And the official title of the re-released
remastered partially-re-recorded heavily-bonus-tracked CD
is:

Sumophobia Alpha 2 EX Super Championship Turbo Edition

NEW WQ ALBUM, TITLE TBA
I'm writing like mad, recording sporadically, and still
shooting for early 2006.

ODOR NEWS
=-=-=-=-=
I smell like whatever the hell is soaked into the carpet
of our new place that we haven't had time to clean out yet.
I can't even guess what this is, but maybe emu drippings?

That's all I have time to type at your asses for now -
look for more stuff in the WQ online store in the very
near future, and thanks as always for supporting every
dumbass thing I do!

Converting thermometers to Judaism just for the hell of it,
-=ShoEboX=-

--
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
_______________________________________________________

FASTER PUSSYCAT have agreed to shoot a pilot for VH1's "Bands on the Run 2"
the first week of November. The show is a contest between FASTER PUSSYCAT
and another undisclosed '80s rock band. "The pilot involves us promoting and
playing a show somewhere in the U.S. announced last minute," according to
FASTER PUSSYCAT. "They could send us anywhere. The winner is determined by
the band that has the biggest turnout and sells the most merch. The dates
are Nov. 30th through Dec. 4th."
_______________________________________________________

A Californian teenager's SLIPKNOT jumpsuit created panic that prompted the
Placer County Jail to be placed on lockdown.

Dispatchers at the Placer County Sheriff's Department received a call Sunday
afternoon reporting a man wearing an orange inmate jumpsuit and shackles
getting into a car at the Taco Bell on Highway 49 and Luther Road in Auburn.
To ensure one of Placer County's inmates hadn't decided to leave jail early
for a little trick or treating, officials slammed the doors shut.

Eddie Hail, 17, had no idea Monday that his costume had caused such a stir.
When learning that the jail was placed on lockdown, he replied, "Oopsy".
________________________________________________________

Ta-da! /tah*DAH/ interjection.
Useful for breaking the tension when your
parents come home and find you stark naked on top
of the refrigerator, covered in chocolate syrup.

(Jim Evarts)
_________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, Nov 4 – The Showplace Theater, Buffalo
Into Eternity, Nevermore, and Opeth

Thurs, Nov 17 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Another Day Late, A Farewell Rescue, Sarcasm, and Wings Ripped Out

Sun, Nov 20 – Syracuse Oncenter, Syracuse
Dropkick Murphy’s

Sun, Nov 20 – Castaways, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol III Post Release Show
Xtreme Soundscapes 1 Year Anniversary Show
Armageddon Monks, Missing Marcus, The Pushrods, and Black Labeled

Wed, Nov 23 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Setiva and Bone Jar

Fri, Dec 2 – The Magic City Music Hall, Johnson City
Blue Oyster Cult

Sat, Dec 31: New Year's Eve – The Venue (Downtown Quarterback), Washington
Avenue, Endicott
Punch Drunk Monkeys 11th anniversary reunion, with original members:
* crappy the clown
* dano voodie
* mr. zaremba
* david sweet
w/ special guests If Man is Five

Sat, Jan 14 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Into Eternity and Sonata Arctica

Thurs, Feb 2 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Decapitated, Soilent Green, Nile, and With Passion

Tues, Feb 21 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Prong and Overkill
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: October 30, 2005
Tribute to the Past Show
(R) = Requested

Background: The Unquiet Void "Poisoned Dreams"

Helloween "Halloween"
The Dead Kennedy's "Halloween"
Detente "Holy War"
Therion "Evocation of Vovin"
Nightfall "My Red, Red Moon (Emma O)"
Misfits "Skulls"
Helstar "The Curse has Passed Away"
Rammalah "Oscar Cotton"
Bone Jar "Take These Years" (R)
Arsis "Roses on White Lace"
Divinity Destroyed "These Waking Dreams"
Dragonlord "The Curse of Woe"
Immaculate Mary "Give It All You Got"
Diamond Tyr "The Restless One"
Milk Toast "Ball of Hate"
Creeper "Say High"
Spanker "Death by Sea Monkeys"
St. Chaos "Nothing is Forever"
RR United "Into the Fire"
Lotus Project "Desert Skies"
L.A. Guns "Hollywood's Burning"
Gamma Ray "Spiritual Dictator"
Vesania "God the Lux"
Axe "Rock 'n Roll Party in the Streets"
Helix "Rock You"
Blessed Death "Pray for Death"
Sir-Mix-a-Lot "Iron Man (True Metal Meltdown Mix)"
The Shaggs "Halloween"
Placebo King "Punk Rock Baby"
Nitro "Freight Train"
Exciter "Long Live the Loud"
Motley Crue "Take Me to the Top"
Richard Cheese "Girls, Girls, Girls"
Venom "1000 Days of Sodom" (R)
Mercyful Fate "Nuns Have No Fun"
Glacier "Ready for Battle"
Racer X "Gone Too Far - Live"
Pyogenesis "Still Burn in Fire"
Warlord "Winter Tears"
TNT "Seven Seas"
Vio-Lence "Phobophobia"
Judas Priest "Starbreaker"
Sabbat "A Cautionary Tale - BBC Sessions"
Slo-Burn "Pilot the Dune"
Crumbsuckers "Just Sit There"
Maelstrom "For Whom the Bell Tolls"
Mama's Boys "Lettin' Go"

** MySpace Pic of the Night / GorGar's Corner **
ASKA "Her Ghost Remains"

Saigon Kick "Down by the Ocean"
Motorhead "Iron Fist"
Thor "When God's Collide"
Meshuggah "Choirs of Devastation"
Scorpions "Blackout"
Scepter "Human's Massacre"
The Jerky Boys "Spider Monkey"
Crisis "Sweething"
Krystal Synn "We are the Ones"
Demolition Hammer "33 Caliber Brain Surgery"
Lawnmower Death "Watch out Gramma, Here Comes a Lawnmower"
Cerebral Fix "Quest for Midian"
Type "O" Negative "Black No. 1" (R)
Minor Threat "Screaming at a Wall"
Richard Cheese "War Ensemble"
Abattoir "Ace of Spades"
Misfits "Last Caress"
Witchfynde "Crystal Gazing"
Have Mercy "City of Doom"
Napalm "Evil Speak"
Portal "Cosmos"
Napalm Death "Pride Assassin"

Feature Artist: Hallow's Eve
__________________________________________________

Suicide Mistaken for Halloween Decoration

FREDERICA, Del. - The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree
went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a
Halloween decoration, authorities said.

The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some
homes on a moderately busy road late Tuesday or early Wednesday, state
police said.

The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen
from passing vehicles.

State police spokesman Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed
the body at breakfast time Wednesday but dismissed it as a holiday prank.
Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later.

"They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor
William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal.

"It looked like something somebody would have rigged up," she said. (lmao, I
guess it wasn't "realistic" enough?!)

(Taken from Yahoo News)
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...