The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - November 11, 2005
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during Both Shows:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

When Jeffie arrived (he had control of the body at that point), he came
bearing maraca's. He wanted to know where Lance was, since he and Thor were
relying on beating up Lance to keep Pepe at bay. He was reminded that
Lance's character had passed on. Jeffie claimed that he had downloaded still
more of Joe's CD collection, (Joe denies that these are his CD's), and he
played more of it for us. This time it was covers of theme songs of old TV
shows, The Love Boat, The Addams Family, and The Munsters. He had them try
to guess the theme songs. Joe got them all, even The Love Boat one, which
was a weird cover that did not sound much like the original theme at all. I
didn't get it. Good for Joe, or bad for him, depending on how one might want
to look at it. :) Now, if Ian The Yeti had been there, I'm sure he would
have gotten that as well. :) He seemed to really love that theme song for
some strange Yeti reason. Thor took control of the body for a bit. He was
distressed to see the maracas, as he feared that might mean Pepe was near to
getting out. He said that he felt like he might not be able to hold him back
much longer. And, indeed, in a few more minutes, Pepe was there, shaking the
maracas, singing "La Cuccaracha", and dancing all over the place. Pepe
really is a very up and happy fellow. He wanted to know where his sexy
beautiful boy Lance was. He wanted to party with him. I am sure that's not
all he wanted to do with him. They told him that Lance was outside in his
car. Pepe was very happy and excited to hear this. He said that he was going
to go get his sexy, beautiful boy Lance, and that they were going to party
all night long. ( Well, come to think of it, Lance does love The Commodores,
and Lionel Richie does have a song called "All Night Long", so, maybe Lance
would have enjoyed that after all). He danced away to do this, and promptly
ran right into the door, banging his nose on it. At the next talk break Pepe
was gone, (which of course meant that Jeffie and Thor were also gone, as
Pepe took them along with him to wherever it was he went with their
collective body, probably to go search for Lance). They didn't know where he
had gone, and they didn't care, as long as he was gone. And that was MO for
that night. This week, there may be a funeral for Lance's departed
character. Or, maybe not. Jeffie might have planned one, that is, if he
managed to somehow rest control back away from Pepe. Or not. Who knows. But
there is always something going on, so tune in to hear what it will be...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

Present on this night were: Just Joe, Pat, the guitarist for Lotus Project,
and, later, Gorgar. We learned that Lotus Project finally has a new bass
player to replace David their former bassist (and also worst excuse for a
co-host of all time), who cut his hair, grew up, moved to Florida, and gave
up metal. Well, cut his hair and moved to Florida, and gave up metal,
anyways, I'm not sure about the other thing. :) Their new bass player is
Heather, formerly of Military Wife, who visited LE a few weeks ago, after
once having been a frequent guest long ago, and having been away for a long
while. First they sent Just Joe out on a mission. No one knew what the
mission was, they just sent him out, and he came back. He was successful in
this extremely difficult task. :) Even he couldn't screw that up. Well,
actually, I'm sure he could, but, this time, he did not. Then they had
another mission for him. Now, Gorgar had sent out this list that someone had
done about top annoying things people do in grocery stores. Now, Gorgar
works at a grocery store, one right across the street from the station. And
he had given his commentary next to each item in that list. And there was
one item where his comment was "If someone ever did that where I work, I'd
have to kill them". Now, of course, this was clearly an invitation and a
chance to accomplish two very worthy goals at once, make Gorgar mad, and,
even better and more important, get Just Joe killed. The item had been
"Stack all the spaghettios cans into a big pile in the aisle. So, hence,
that was Just Joe's mission, to go across the street and do just that. Just
Joe said that that would be easy, and said that he would do better than
build a pile, he would build a bridge with towers. They instructed him to
call when he got there so we could have the pleasure of hearing Gorgar's
rage, and the even greater pleasure of witnessing Just Joe being killed. So,
off Just Joe went, and in a while, he called. He said that he had built the
bridge. And he didn't say much more, because soon we heard Gorgar screaming
and sounds of a struggle. Soon Just Joe was back. He said that Gorgar had
been furious but that he had been able to run away before Gorgar could kill
him, as Gorgar is a Dinosaur, and, thus, old and slow. However, Gorgar burst
in, and did kick Just Joe's ass and beat him down. They asked Gorgar about
the bridge. And here we learned that Just Joe had lied... Gorgar said that
had hadn't been a bridge, it had been more of a castle. They turned on Just
Joe, telling him that he had failed in his mission after all, (they had been
praising him for successfully completing two missions), he had said he was
going to build a bridge, and then he had only built a lousy castle! They
called him a worthless piece of crap. I mean, if you say you're going to
build a bridge of Speghettio cans, then build the damn bridge, not a stupid
castle! Everybody knows that! Just Joe took offense at their verbal abuse.
He said he was sick of it, and was leaving, that he was going to go sit in
his car all night, and turn the radio station to something else. He stormed
out. But, he left his phone behind, and stormed back in to get it. They told
him that they were sorry, and hadn't meant what they said, he wasn't a
worthless piece of crap. Just Joe was happy, for a minute. Because, as soon
as they saw he was going to stay, they told him that they had lied, they
were not sorry, and he was a worthless piece of crap. Just Joe stormed out
to his car, this time remembering to take his phone with him. He called in,
and they told him that they were sorry, and to prove it, they would do
something that would make him happy... They started playing his Hugging
Music. Just Joe got happy and excited, and ran back in. But, as soon as he
got there, they turned his Hugging Music off, and told him he was a
worthless piece of crap. Just Joe stormed back out to the car. After awhile,
a listener called in, (a listener who sounded oddly like Just Joe trying to
disguise his voice). This listener had a request. He said that Just Joe had
taken an awful lot of abuse from them for a long time, and his request was
that they cut Just Joe some slack, and be nice to him. Because LE always
listens to it's listeners, they told him that he might be right, and thanked
him. And, suddenly, (very suspiciously suddenly), Just Joe was back. They
told him about the listener's call and request. And they told him that they
were sorry, that he wasn't a worthless piece of crap. Just Joe said that he
was going to go back across the street and build that bridge. Everyone
thought that was an excellent idea. Well, everyone except for Gorgar who
chased Just Joe, and put a stop to that. They told Just Joe that they liked
him. Just Joe said, that if they did, could they play his Hugging Music
again, and, this time, let it play? They said sure. And Just Joe's Hugging
Music was played. And, Just Joe hugged poor Pat right out of the room and
away. Now, Pat has a very quiet, calm demeanor, so, his cries for help were
extremely quiet, soft, and calm. No one helped him, I don't think they would
have helped him anyways even if he had been screaming bloody murder, that's
just the kind, caring, helpful souls that they are. So, that was the last of
Pat for that night. The rest of the night was calm. The feature artist for
the night to end out the show was a live acoustic performance that If Man Is
Five had given at a coffee house. It sounded great and was really cool...
And thus went LE. Tune in this week to find out who may be there, and what
will go on...

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Notes from Azkath...

Lance's funeral is scheduled for The Metallic Onslaught this week... That
should be interesting...

And for The Last Exit... Some bands may show up, or some may not, I have not
yet confirmation. I also had this really cool thing that we could do to
Joe... Now I just have to remember what it was... AND our feature artist
will be Missing Marcus, live, from their show at the beginning of October at
Castaways... They will be one of the 4 bands on the post release show at
Castaways on Nov 20th...
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NEWS

Sharon Osbourne is apparently unrepentant about her attempt to sabotage IRON
MAIDEN's last appearance on this past summer's edition of the festival. But
Ozzy Osbourne himself said that he wasn't exactly sure what happened that
night, and wanted nothing to do with it either way. "I had absolutely
nothing whatsoever to do with what went down, because I do not condone any
of that kind of cr*p," he said. "Even though the singer was saying bad
things, so I heard, I never heard it 'cause I'd never went and seen them.
But that very night, the bass player (Steve Harris) comes into my dressing
room and said to me, 'I'd like to apologize for our singer.' I was
absolutely confused what this guy was on about."

Sharon Osbourne messed with MAIDEN's sound and had the band pelted with eggs
onstage after claiming that lead singer Bruce Dickinson had made disparaging
remarks about her husband throughout the tour.
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To support the H!V/A!DS charity "Lifebeat" and "Lifeline & R*pe Crisis PMB",
ANTHRAX guitarist Scott Ian has personally designed wristbands that are sold
on www. whateverittakes.org. The money goes to those affected by H!V/A!DS
and rape issues in South Africa.

In true metal fashion, the sentence on the wristbands says "F*cking is so
much more fun than war."
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According to a posting on JUDAS PRIEST's official web site, the band's new
"Rising in the East" DVD will be released in the USA and Canada on November
15 while in the rest of the world it will be made available on January 16,
2006.

Vocalist Rob Halford, lead guitarists Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing, bass
guitarist Ian Hill and drummer Scott Travis filmed "Rising in the East" in
May 2005 at the legendary Budokan in Tokyo, Japan. The definitive JUDAS
PRIEST lineup played two sold-out nights at the venue to promote the
early-2005 release of the critically acclaimed studio album "Angel of
Retribution", their first new material in 15 years. "Rising in the East" is
JUDAS PRIEST's first straight-to-DVD release
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former JANE'S ADDICTION frontman Perry Farrell is convinced he is still
looking young at 46 thanks to 15 years of drug taking.

He said: "I feel that I lost 15 years worth of intensive efforts, but I look
great. That's one thing that surprises me. I guess every generation goes
through their drug thing and some people get through it and get clean and
some don't.

"But, you know what, I'm sick of the people that are sober. I think sobriety
is wrong... You're supposed to party on Friday night, and, if you don't,
you're going against God's wishes"
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Halloween is confusing. When I pepper-spray
trick-or-treaters, do I score that as
a trick on the kids or as a treat for me?

(Michael Cunningham)
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SHOW LISTINGS

Sat, Nov 12 – Cortland Youth Center
Our Collective Foreheads and Space Farm (formerly RANZATSU)

Thurs, Nov 17 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Another Day Late, A Farewell Rescue, Sarcasm, and Wings Ripped Out

Sun, Nov 20 – Syracuse Oncenter, Syracuse
Dropkick Murphy’s

Sun, Nov 20 – Castaways, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol III Post Release Show
Xtreme Soundscapes 1-Year Anniversary Show
Armageddon Monks, Missing Marcus, The Pushrods, and Black Labeled
$3 – Free XS DVD’s

Tues, Nov 22 – Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
Yngwie Malmsteen

Wed, Nov 23 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Setiva and Bone Jar

Fri, Dec 2 – Monty’s Crown Lounge, Rochester
Nipplepaloooza II (www.montyskrown.com)
Worm Quartet, The Great Luke Ski, Powered by Satan, and MC Pisspot the
Rabbbit

Sat, Dec 31: New Year's Eve – The Venue (Downtown Quarterback), Washington
Avenue, Endicott
Punch Drunk Monkeys 11th anniversary reunion, with original members:
* crappy the clown
* dano voodie
* mr. zaremba
* david sweet
w/ special guests If Man is Five

Sat, Jan 14 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Into Eternity and Sonata Arctica

Thurs, Feb 2 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Decapitated, Soilent Green, Nile, and With Passion

Tues, Feb 21 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Prong and Overkill
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: November 6, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Sunn "Black One"

Bolt Thrower "At First Light"
Testament "The Haunting - Live"
Old Man's Child "In Torment's Orbit"
Siebenbergen "Harvest for the Devil"
Ramallah "Kill a Celebrity"
Lotus Project "We Have Arrived"
Mercyful Fate "Curse of the Pharoahs - BBC Radio 1 Sessions"
Watchmaker "Conquering a Dead Planet"
Sepultura "Troops of Doom - Live"
Horse the Band "A Million Exploding Suns"
Cannae "Mechanics of Moving Backwards"
Ata D'are "Streets of Darkness'
Through Eyes of the Dead "Beneath Dying Skies"
Since By Man "Lactating Teens"
10 Fold B-Low "Falling"
Machine Men "Falling"
Ministry "NWO Update Mix"
Helrunar "Unten und im Norden
Éd Gein "Christianity as Foreign Policy"
The Bronx Casket Company "Little Dead Girl"
Sopor Aeturnus and the Ensemble of Shadows "Minnesang"
Armageddon Monks "Pope Action Shotgun'
Misisng Marcus "Water's Rising'
The Pushrods "Liar"
Black Labeled "New American War"
Die Apokalyptischen Reiter "We Will Never Die"
Divide the Day "Jesus is Coming... Look Busy"
Welcome "Extra Effort"
At All Cost "Polish the Nightmare"
Arsis "The Promise of Never'
Annihilator "Invite It"
Gamma Ray "Majesty"
Rob Rock "Slayer of Souls"
Becoming the Archetype "Into Oblivion"
Orphanage "Five Crystals - Live"
Look What I Did "Minuteman for the Moment"
Paths of Possession "A Heart for a Heart"
Divinity Destroyed "Prism"
Pennywise "Competition Song"
I Am Ghost "Lady Madaline in Her Coffin"
Loki the Grump "Shockingly Happy"
Ascension of the Watchers "On the River"
Worm Quartet "You Lied Cabinet Sanchez"
Sargiest "Black Treasures of Melancholy"
Alice Cooper "You Make Me Wanna"
Drowningman "John Cougar Mellencamp is the White Devil"
Valhalla Ice "Wrath a Steel"
Necrophagist "Advanced Corpse Tumor"
Helloween "Born on Judgement Day"
Vesania "Posthuman Kind"
Ringworm "Justice Replaced by Revenge"
Propagandhi "Bringer of Greater Things"
Lagwagon "Virus"
Western Addiction "The Church of Black Flag"
Akallabeth "Erebus"
Animosity "Manhunt"
Dragonlord "Blood Voyeur'
Lapse of Irony "Matter Over Mind"

Feature Artist: If Man is Five - Live Acoustic
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Bizarre Holidays in November


November is . . . . International Drum Month, Peanut Butter Lover's Month,
and Slaughter Month
November 1 is . . . . . Plan Your Epitaph Day
November 2 is . . . . . National Deviled Egg Day
November 3 is . . . . . Sandwich Day and Housewife's Day
November 4 is . . . . . Waiting For The Barbarians Day
November 5 is . . . . . Gunpowder Day
November 6 is . . . . . Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass Day
November 7 is . . . . . National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day
November 8 is . . . . . Dunce Day
November 9 is . . . . . Chaos Never Dies Day
November 10 is . . . . Forget-Me-Not Day
November 11 is . . . . Air Day
November 12 is . . . . National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day
November 13 is . . . . National Indian Pudding Day
November 14 is . . . . Operation Room Nurse Day
November 15 is . . . . National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
November 16 is . . . . Button Day
November 17 is . . . . Take A Hike Day
November 18 is . . . . Occult Day
November 19 is . . . . Have A Bad Day Day
November 20 is . . . . Absurdity Day
November 21 is . . . . World Hello Day and False Confessions Day
November 22 is . . . . Start Your Own Country Day
November 23 is . . . . National Cashew Day
November 24 is . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day
November 25 is . . . . National Parfait Day
November 26 is . . . . Shopping Reminder Day
November 27 is . . . . Pins And Needles Day
November 28 is . . . . Make Your Own Head Day
November 29 is . . . . Square Dance Day
November 30 is . . . . Stay At Home Because You're Well Day

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-------- Woman Finds Saving Seal To Be A Real Pain ---------

JOHANNESBURG - A woman who was trying to help a seal back
into the sea had her nose bitten off by the animal. Elsie
van Tonder was on a beach near George, about 240 miles east
of Cape Town, when she was bitten. "The seal had been lying
in the same spot since Friday, so the lady and a few other
people were trying to take it back to the water," said
Herman Oosthuizen, a marine biologist with the Department
of Environmental Affairs. "The young female seal then bit
her in the face." Van Tonder will undergo surgery on her
wounded face this week.
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------ Man Leaves Piece of Himself Everywhere He Goes ------

MILWAUKEE - A Wisconsin man is in big trouble for photograph-
ing his penis, making copies and leaving them on women's
windshields in at least four towns. Jeffrey John Hein, 40,
currently faces 30 charges of lewd and lascivious behavior
for disseminating his private business throughout Hartford
and West Bend, and police in Germantown and Menomonee Falls
told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel he violated their penal
codes as well. Two of the criminal complaints say Hein got
his artistic inspiration from a Web site called "I Shot
Myself," which advises readers to "pickle yourself in the
adrenaline rush of public nudity," the Journal Sentinel said.
Hein allegedly dropped his photos on windshields, pushed them
through open windows and flipped them through cracked sunroofs.
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-------------- Naked Man Caught In A Flash -----------------

DRAMMEN, Norway - A man was arrested on a bus in the Drammen,
Norway, area after sprinting naked down the street. A bus
pulled up to a stop in order to let two elderly ladies wait-
ing there board the vehicle, Aftenposten reported. While the
women got on, the driver looked into his rear view mirror
and spotted a naked man sprinting towards the bus. The man
ran in, yelled "Call the police!", then ran to the back of
the bus, where he took a seat and refused to leave. The
driver called the police and waited for the authorities to
arrive, while passengers covered the man with a blanket.
The newspaper said there was no immediate explanation for
the incident.
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----------- Elderly Man Takes Victim For A Ride ------------

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - This is one elderly man who should
not be driving. Ralph Parker, 93, fatally struck a pedestrian
and continued driving for three miles with the victim's body
through his windshield. He was stopped when he drove through
a toll booth on the Sunshine Skyway, and the toll taker
called police. Parker apparently suffered from dementia
because he didn't know what happened or where he was. "He may
have somewhere in his mind have realized it was a crash, but
immediately forgot about it," Traffic Homicide Investigator
Michael Jockers said. The victim, a 52-year-old man, had his
leg severed in the crash Wednesday night.
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This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...