The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - November 18, 2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during Both Shows:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________

** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

Jeffie and Thor must have somehow managed to banish Pepe again, because
Jeffie was in control of The Body when it arrived. And he had brought along
the accoutrements for Lance's funeral. He had a coffin, but there was only a
lot of hair in it. Well, that does make sense, since it is Lance we are
talking about. The hair was poofy and had lots of glitter on it, so, it must
have been Lance's. Just Joe called in and gave his thoughts on the departure
of Lance. He reminisced on his battles with his nemesis, and wanted to do
disturbing things to Lance's corpse. It was very moving! Then Jeffie gave an
equally moving eulogy of Lance, talking about his pretty pink Poison shirt
among other things. Then Jeffie said that he had brought with him some more
things which Lance had deeply loved... He had Lance's cat. The cat yowled,
scratched Jeffie, and ran off somewhere. Then Jeffie said that he had
brought Lance's beloved chickens. I wasn't aware that Lance loved chickens
so much, but, apparently, this is so. However, there were a lot of chickens.
A LOT. They quickly got out of control, making a huge mess, pooping all
over, and attacking Jeffie. Jeffie unleashed Thor who hammered the chickens
with his Giant Hammer. After choking them, of course. Jeffie played parts of
several Poison songs in Lance's memory. Thor questioned whether or not Lance
was really dead. He said that the hair in the coffin looked like Jeffie's
wig. He asked them if they were really sure that Lance was dead. They
questioned Jeffie about this. They asked him if he had proof that Lance was
dead, had he actually seen the corpse? Jeffie pointed out that they had been
the ones who had told him Lance was dead, when he would ask them where Lance
was. Although Jeffie is right about this, they still kept demanding that he
produce proof that Lance was truly dead, bring his corpse, or some other
form of tangible proof. They told him that, if he didn't do this by next
week, he would be in big trouble. They told him that, next week, he had
better show up with Lance's corpse, or something else that would satisfy to
them that Lance was really dead, or else! So, we shall se...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

Just Joe was there, as were, Gorgar, and Electric Vodka Dude. They sent Just
Joe out to the grocery store across the street, where Gorgar works, again to
do something else to torment Gorgar in the hopes that they could get Gorgar
to really snap, go permanently over the edge perhaps. While Just Joe was out
doing this, the show had a visit from God. We learned that God stands for,
Grand Old Dude. God visited for awhile. When Just Joe came back, they
decided to lay a trap for Gorgar. They piled a large number of CD's on top
of the door, and when GorGar came into the room, they fell on him. Gorgar
then beat on Just Joe and threw him down the stairs a few times. As Electric
Vodka Dude was getting ready to leave, Just Joe's Hugging Music played, and
Just Joe hugged Electric Vodka Dude right out of the room and away. The band
Missing Marcus dropped by for a while toward the end of the night. They
chatted a bit, and updated us on what they have been and will be up to. And,
one of the important things that they will be doing is that they are one of
the bands who will be performing at The Xtreme Sounscapes Volume 3 DVD Post
Release Show. This show is also the one year anniversary of Xtreme
Soundscapes. It will be this Sunday, November 20th, at Castaways, in Ithaca.
The bands performing are: Missing Marcus, (as I just said), Armageddon
Monks, Black Labeled, and The Pushrods. The show starts at 8 P.M., and is
only $3! There will be free Xtreme Soundscapes Volume 3 DVD's available
there. All of you in the area should attend! There was good attendance at
The Xtreme Soundscapes Volume 3 Release Show, back on October 15th, lets top
that for this one people! Support the local and independent music scene,
hear cool bands, and have a great time for a low price, with free DVD's
available there! How can you beat that!? You can't, of course! So be there!
The Feature Artist for LE was the above mentioned Missing Marcus. This
week... A member of the band Black Labeled should be on to talk about his
band's participation in The Xtreme Soundscapes Volume 3 DVD Post Release
Show, (which, by then will be later on that same day, of course), among
other things. And who knows who else may be there, and what else may go on,
so tune in and hear...

***********************************************

Notes from Azkath...

The Metallic Onslaught this week should have Jeffie finding some kind of
evidence as to whether Lance is alive or dead. We will see.

The Last Exit will have Black Labeled, The Pushrods, and Missing Marcus, or
at least some members of some or all of those bands. And they will all be
playing the next night, Sunday, at the Xtreme Soundscapes Post Release show
at Castaways in Ithaca. Also on the bill is Armageddon Monks. The show
starts at 9pm sharp, and is ONLY $3. Come out and show some support, we will
have free Xtreme Soundscapes DVD's, and some other free stuff as always.
Show will be headlined by Black Labeled, and it will be Todd's (drummer)
last show with the band.
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WORM QUARTET UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 11/17/05

Hi, dammit!!!

Good and bad news for Worm Quartet and Luke Ski fans in
CNY...first off, UNY-CON has unfortunately been cancelled,
so your chance to watch me and Luke strut around screaming
our twisted rants against the ambiance of rolling multi-
sided dice is no more. But if you can tear yourself away
from your character sheets and venture downtown, you can
catch:

NIPPLEPALOOZA II NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The "orgiastic feast of inanity, insanity, comedy, and
music" that hit Rochester earlier this year is BACK! We're
hitting both Syracuse AND Rachacha this year, so you have
no excuse not to go! Even if you live in Sudan, one of
these locations is still closer than the other one, dammit!

December 8th, 2005 - Syracuse, NY

*** NIPPLEPALOOZA II ***
Day 1 of the cheesy 2-day CNY tour!

WORM QUARTET
THE GREAT LUKE SKI
POWERED BY SATAN

@ The Half Penny Pub
321 W Fayette St.
Syracuse, NY 13202
(315) 478-3091

FREE SHOW!! Bands are paid from the bar, so drink up!

Show starts at 9:00 (Must be 21)

--

December 9th, 2005 - Rochester, NY

*** NIPPLEPALOOZA II ***
Day 2 of the cheesy 2-day CNY tour!

WORM QUARTET
THE GREAT LUKE SKI
POWERED BY SATAN

And MC PISSPOT THE RABBIT

@ Monty's Crown
875 Monroe Ave.
Rochester, NY 14620
www.montyskrown.com

Show starts at 10:00
$6 at the door
Must be 21

And to whet your appetite...

XTREME SOUNDSCAPES DVD NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Vol. 1-3 of Aethyric Productions' "XTreme Soundscapes"
DVD series (conceived and put together by Seriah Azkath
of The Last Exit For The Lost- www.thelastexit.org) are
now available for online order from wormquartet.com!
They're chock-full of interviews and live performances
with underground bands (and a few better-known ones) from
Ithaca and beyond.

Worm Quartet does live performances and interviews on
all of these, and my offspring has cameos on each as well.
Other bands appearing include Crisis, Kreator, If Man is
Five, The Witching, Divinity Destroyed, The Pushrods,
River Chicken, Lotus Project, Bone Jar, Black Labeled,
inRed, Angels Beneath Me, and more!

And while you're spending your hard-earned cash...

STUPID BOOKS FOR JERKS NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Two zine-style collections of Shoebox's stories and
rants are now available in print from the Worm Quartet
store! "Jesus's Magical Underwater Adventure" and "A
Blur of Republicans And Meat" can be purchased for the
dirt-friggin'-cheap price of $3 each or both for $5.

Just go forth to http://www.wormquartet.com and click on
"Buy Stuff!"

LAUGHTER IS A POWERFUL WEAPON NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The Hurricane Katrina relief benefit comp, "Laughter Is A
Powerful Weapon, Vol. 2," featuring a buttload of funny
songs including a previously-unreleased Worm Quartet track
and liner notes by Dr. Demento himself, will be out later
this month! Check out http://www.funnymusicians.com for
more info!

WORM QUARTET ON XM COMEDY RADIO NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
XM Comedy Radio has recently started using a bunch of my
short songs from "Faster Than a Speeding Mullet" in their
station IDs! So far, though, they haven't played any of
my full-length songs...so why not drop them an e-mail or
give them a call and let them know you wanna hear some
full-on WQ?

E-mail: xmcomedy@...
Phone (toll-free) : 1-866-XM-LAUGH (866.965.2844)

UPCOMING WQ RELEASES NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I swear, new WQ will exist. Stay tuned...

ODOR NEWS
=-=-=-=-=
I'll be damned, I smell like baby shampoo. I don't think
I've ever smelled this harmless in my life!!

Once again we've reached the glorious time where I get to
shut up! I hope you guys are all having a marvelous time
doing whatever you do while you're deleting this from your
inbox without even glancing at it! Thanks as always for
your support.

May everything you butter become a crowbar,
-=ShoEboX=-


--
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
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THE IRON MAIDENS ON THE TONIGHT SHOW!

The girls were rehearsing last night at their favorite Sound Arena Studio
when all of a sudden, completely unannounced, in walks "Stuttering John"
Melendez and the Tonight Show film crew doing a piece on bands. So, keep
your eyes peeled for an appearance from The Iron Maidens on an upcoming
episode of the Tonight Show! Could be as soon as next Tuesday! Stay tuned
for an air date or check our website for the latest update!!!!!!

www.theironmaidens.com
World's Only Female Tribute to Iron Maiden!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
www.myspace.com/theironmaidens
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"Heavy Metal Parking Lot", widely considered to be one of the greatest rock
'n' roll movies of all time, has finally been made available on DVD. Filmed
in 1986 at a Maryland concert arena parking lot before a JUDAS PRIEST
concert, "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" is an unvarnished anthropological study
of American metalheads in their mid-'80s glory. It is the quintessential
'80s magnum opus, made complete with a vast display of muscle cars, spandex,
bleach-blonde frizzy perms, bare-chested dudes, mullets from hell,
faded-denim metal chicks, and the largest collection of late '70s Camaros
ever seen in one location. Virtually unknown to mainstream audiences for two
decades, "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" was a VHS bootleg favorite among
musicians, movie stars and cult-video fanatics worldwide. This
limited-edition DVD includes a pristine digital-video transfer of the
original uncut 16-minute documentary, plus over two hours of exclusive
content! Viewer discretion: explicit language, drug references and loud
music.

To order a copy, visit FilmBaby.com
___________________________________________________________

BALLET DEVIARE

Metal and Ballet

Bringing "high art" and extreme music together.
Works will be set to the music off ARSIS (Jim Malone of Arsis will be
performing “A Diamond for Disease” live), OPETH, MY DYING BRIDE, JAPANISCHE
KAMPHOERSPIELE feat. ELEKTROKILL, CRAIG ANDERSONIC (Craig will be performing
live also), and MARA’S TORMENT

We are the first ballet company to incorporate death metal, doom, grind and
electronic music, into our permanent repertoire. While other companies
insist on using old, outdated, cliché music. We have stepped outside that
restricted boundary to offer a unique and distinctive performance
experience. Who the hell said that high art can't kick ass. Come experience
high art, our way.
Performance dates are:
January 6th at 8:00pm
January 7th at 8:00pm
January 8th at 2:00pm
Tickets $40, BUT enter the discount code MTAL and receive 50% off all
tickets.

For more info and ticket reservations go to www.balletdeviare.org

This will sell out so reserve your seats now!
PROUD SPONSORS of Ballet Deviare include:
The talented MARK RIDDICK (www.riddickbros.com)
BLUNT FORCE GRAPHICS (owned by John Gallagher of DYING FETUS and Ben Kolts
of MALAMOR)
WILLOWTIP RECORDS (www.willowtip.com).

Be on the look out for Arsis/Ballet Deviare T-Shirts. Designed by Mark
Riddick and screened by Blunt Force Graphics. Willowtip will be handling
pre-orders soon.

Many thanks and keep it Brutal!
__________________________________________________________

I had to finally break down and do my taxes yesterday.
Evidently my whole leave-it-out-and-the-little-people-
will-do-it-for-me-while-I-sleep-paradigm wasn't nearly
proactive enough for those hardasses at the IRS.

(Chris MacEachen)
__________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Sun, Nov 20 – Syracuse Oncenter, Syracuse
Dropkick Murphy’s

Sun, Nov 20 – Castaways, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol III Post Release Show
Xtreme Soundscapes 1-Year Anniversary Show
Armageddon Monks, Missing Marcus, The Pushrods, and Black Labeled
$3 – Free XS DVD’s
Starts 9pm

Tues, Nov 22 – Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
Yngwie Malmsteen

Wed, Nov 23 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Setiva and Bone Jar

Sat, Nov 26 - Montage Grille, 50 Chestnut St. Rochester
Doors @ 9pm, Show @ 10pm (ages 18+)
Low Ton, BML, Skodag

Fri, Dec 2 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Blue Oyster Cult

Thurs, Dec, 8
*** NIPPLEPALOOZA II ***
Day 1 of the cheesy 2-day CNY tour!
WORM QUARTET
THE GREAT LUKE SKI
POWERED BY SATAN
@ The Half Penny Pub
321 W Fayette St.
Syracuse, NY 13202
(315) 478-3091
FREE SHOW!! Bands are paid from the bar, so drink up!
Show starts at 9:00 (Must be 21)

December 9th, 2005 - Rochester, NY
*** NIPPLEPALOOZA II ***
Day 2 of the cheesy 2-day CNY tour!
WORM QUARTET
THE GREAT LUKE SKI
POWERED BY SATAN
And MC PISSPOT THE RABBIT
@ Monty's Crown
875 Monroe Ave.
Rochester, NY 14620
www.montyskrown.com
Show starts at 10:00
$6 at the door
Must be 21

Sat, Dec 31: New Year's Eve – The Venue (Downtown Quarterback), Washington
Avenue, Endicott
Punch Drunk Monkeys 11th anniversary reunion, with original members:
* crappy the clown
* dano voodie
* mr. zaremba
* david sweet
w/ special guests If Man is Five

Sat, Jan 14 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Into Eternity and Sonata Arctica

Thurs, Feb 2 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Decapitated, Soilent Green, Nile, and With Passion

Tues, Feb 21 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
Prong and Overkill
________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: November 13, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Sunn O))) "Black One"

Testament "The Preacher / The New Order - Live"
Vesania "Rest in Pain"
Deadlock "10,000 Generations in Blood"
Divinity Destroyed "Prism"
King Diamond "A Mansion in Darkness"
Look What I Did "Ultimate Home Fitness Machine"
Clawfinger "Hate Yourself with Style"
Horse the Band "Manateen"
If Man is Five "Where is My Mind - Live Acoustic" (R)
Ram-Zet "I'm Not Dead'
The Great Luke Ski "Survivor The Animated Series - Bongo Tribe"
Jello Biafra with The Melvins "Lessons in What not to Become"
Mork Gryning "Neverwhere"
Betray My Secrets "Oh Great Spirit"
1349 "Celestial Deconstruction"
Coprofago "Hostile Silent Raptures"
Ambeon "Sick Ceremony"
Welcome "Painting Hurts"
Black Sabbath "Disturbing the Priest"
Ian Gillan Band "Scarabus"
Neuraxis "Thought Adjuster"
inRed "Eyes of the Night" (R)
Ministry "Stigmata (Update Mix)
Nocturne "Dirty Sanchez"
The Great Luke Ski "Survivor The Animated Series - Hellaholio Tribe"
Ayurveda "Treason in the First Degree"
Ramallah "Just Walk Away"
Gamma Ray "Fight"
Bolt Thrower "Granite Wall"
Torn Asunder "The Seventh Seal"
My Ruin "Summer of Hell"
Judas Priest "Metal Gods"
Machine Men "Doors of Ressurection"
Otep "Battle Ready" (R)
Armageddon Monks "Free to Run"
The Pushrods "Girls in Vinyl Skirts"
Black Labeled "Kill the Pepsi Generation"
Worm Quartet "You Were Wrong Cabinet Sanchez"
The Great Luke Ski "Survivor The Animated Series - Barbera Tribe"
High on Fire "Silver Back"
Full Circle "Vanished"
Nobis "It's Only Blood"
Scum "Throw Up on You"
Horse the Band "Taken by Vultures"
God Forbid "Divinty"

** MySpace Pic of the Week **
ASKA "Her Ghost Remains"

Divinity Destroyed "Haven"
Maylene and the Sons of Disaster "Bang! The Witch is Dead"
Demon Hunter "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck"
Animosity "Manhunt"
Dragonlord "Black Funeral"
The Great Luke Ski "Survivor The Animated Series - Tribal Council"
Sopor Aeturnus & the Ensemble of Shadows "The Conquerer Worm"
Solefald "Where Birds Have Never Been"

Feature Artist: Missing Marcus
_________________________________________________

+------------- Bizarre Traffic Ticket Excuses --------------+

[Courtesy of netscape.com]

"Come on officer, I was going downhill. I think that counts
for something."

"If you give me a ticket, I'll be forced to tell your wife
about us!"

"I'm in a hurry - I'm late for traffic court."

"Oh, come on! If I get another ticket, my insurance company
will drop me."

"I thought if I had my hazards on I could speed."

"Oh, so that's where the speedometer is..."

"Sorry officer, I thought my radar detector was plugged in."

"I was just checking to see if your radar gun was working
properly."
_________________________________________________

---------- Do You Know What You're Eating? -----------------

LONDON - A British poll on eating habits found that 36
percent of children were unaware that french fries, or chips,
are made from potatoes. Nearly 1-in-10 of the 1,002 children
between 8 and 14 questioned by the British Heart Foundation
thought chips were mostly made of oil, while others suggested
salt, eggs, flour, and even apples, The Telegraph reported.
Another 37 percent did not know that cheese was made mostly
of milk. "Kids have lost touch with the most basic foods and
no longer understand what they are eating," said Peter
Hollins, the foundation's director general.
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...