The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 19, 2005
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during Both Shows:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

This was the Metallic Onslaught Christmas party. Santa was there, and his
beard had already grown back, despite the fact that they had had to cut it
off last week to free Sandy Sanderson and her braces from it. Santa said it
was back because, well because he is Santa, after all, and has magic. Sandy
Sanderson was not there, (and neither was her big brother, Steve), but that
did not mean that they were free from someone spitting a lot when they
spoke, but more on that in a bit. They had cannolies, Santa's favorite
treat, and mine too, for that matter, they're yummy), and beer, and
Hershey's chocolate kisses for the party, and Rick had brought some special
alcoholic punch only for Jeffie, or Thor, whichever of them might show up,
since, as far as we knew, Jeffie was still dead, but with him that's no
guarantee. They asked Santa if he had thought of another present for them
that might get rid of Jeffie/Thor/Pepe. Santa said that he thought he might
have something for them. Then Lance arrived, despite the fact that his head
had exploded the week before, and he had been dead. Now, something very
strange has been going on with Lance... First he was thought to be dead
because he had disappeared for over a month, and then been brought back by
Tim, formerly of Victory Records, and said that he had been on tour with
Stryper all that time. Then, later that night, while he was doing karaoke to
Stryper, his head had exploded and he had been dead, leaving a big mess.
Then, he had shown up the next week alive, but very different... That had
been Black Metal Lance, and his head had exploded as well, leaving another
huge mess to be cleaned up... And now Lance was back and alive once again,
he had undergone yet another transformation... He was now Hardcore Lance. He
kept talking about "Keepin' it real in 06", even though we haven't quite
entered 06 yet. He kept talking about being from the streets, and having
done hard time in prison, and referring to his "Homies", and "Brothers",
which caused Santa to speculate on his orientation. The words "Yo, Yo!" were
also uttered many times, and he did not mean that he wanted that toy on a
string that you do tricks with for Christmas. Lance denied being a rapper,
just insisted that he was hardcore metal, keepin' it real in 06 yo! And,
that brings us to the reason that, just because Sandy Sanderson was finally
gone, did not mean that they were at last free from flying spit showers.
Because Lance kept saying "I got a mouthful of spit!" And, he did. He said
he also had a mouth shield, and, he did. He also had a "rocket" which kept
bothering people, getting in their faces with it. After a while, Thor
arrived, and he was not a happy Viking. He was extremely upset and yelling
and demanding answers for what had been going on there recently. He said
that he and Jeffie had performed a very complicated surgery so that Jeffie
could be separate from him so Thor could stay home and watch The OC (which
he sang the praises of highly). And then Lance (back when Lance was still
Glam Lance) had shot and killed Jeffie, and now Jeffie was back in his head
again, and they were both weaker, which meant there might be a risk of
another Pepe break. They gave Thor Rick's special alcoholic punch to drink.
Thor liked it a lot and got drunk on it. Thor also got acquainted with
Santa. After Thor got drunk, Jeffie emerged as well. They asked Santa about
the special gift he had promised them to help with the Jeffie/Thor/Pepe
problem. And Santa gave them his present. Rick's participation in this was
needed to make the present work, so they told Rick to go in with Santa,
Jeffie, and Hard Core Lance... The gift for Jeffie was... Well, a rubber
tube, and Rick was needed to provide the gas. The noxious fumes knocked
Jeffie out, and, apparently, killed him, as Thor reemerged, saying that now
Jeffie was dead again 'til he could be reprogrammed. So, that was the end of
Jeffie for that night. Then Thor, Rick, and Hard Core Lance got into a
brawl. Rick was able to beat on Thor because Thor was very drunk, and thus
could not fight as well as he usually does. Joe told Thor that he wanted him
to kill Hard Core Lance. Thor seemed to have trouble grasping this concept.
He thought that he was supposed to get Hard Core Lance to help him fight
Rick. And, actually, Thor and Hard Core Lance seemed to be beginning to get
along as they seemed to be enjoying brawling together. Joe told Thor to go
get his Giant Hammer and get rid of Hard Core Lance with it. And, after a
long while of attempting to get Thor to do this, Thor did finally go get The
Giant Hammer. And, in the course of a them sharing a drink, and Lance saying
he wanted to get hammered, did kill Hard Core Lance with it. And so that was
the big Metallic Onslaught Christmas party. It was an extremely moving,
touching event, filled with the spirit of the holidays, peace, love, and
kindness. It was a beautiful thing! There will be no Metallic Onslaught this
coming week because of some holiday programming, so tune in when it returns
to see if Lance will be alive again, and, if so, what kind of Lance he will
be this time, and if Jeffie will be reprogrammed and alive again. As well as
for each member of MO's top five music picks of 05, and for whatever else
might occur...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

Eric of the band Missing Marcus was there very briefly at the beginning of
the show. So briefly, in fact, that he was not on air, just popped in to say
hi and was gone. Just Joe was there, as was Gorgar. And someone who hadn't
been there for a year was up for a visit... It was Mr. Zaremba, of Punch
Drunk Monkeys. He was there to talk about and promote The Punch Drunk
Monkey's big 11th anniversary show on New Years Eve, which is supposed to be
their last show ever together. However, they have had quite a few of those
already, so who knows. But in any case, it is still going to be a huge
event, and all of you should not miss this rare chance to see Punch Drunk
Monkeys complete with Crappy The Clown! The bands If Man Is Five (a LE
favorite, and frequent visitor to the show), and Nancy will also be
performing on that show. It's at The Venue at The Downtown Quarterback, in
Endicott on (as I said) New Years Eve, starting at 9:00. Lots of music was
played from Mr. Zaremba's many different bands and projects over the years:
Punch Drunk Monkeys, (of course!), Spanker (his old band) Next Stop
Willoughby, (another of his bands, a lounge type band, but lounge as only
someone like him could do it), and, Mr. Zaremba himself solo. It was great
to hear those songs again, as some of them go back aways, and haven't been
heard in a while. Mr. Zaremba was there for about half the show. For the
Feature to end out the show, the performances of the bands InRed, and,
Divinity Destroyed, from The Xtreme Soundscapes Volume 3 DVD Release Show,
back in October, were played. They came out great, rocked, and were a treat
to hear! And thus went LE. This coming week will be a very very special
event. Every few years, Christmas has to fall on a Sunday (there are only
seven days it can fall on, after all, so, sooner or later, it has to). And
this is one of those years. And so that means, yes, that's right, LE will
fall on Christmas Day! There will be a Christmas pageant, a tree, probably a
visit from Santa, presents, and lots of surprises. In keeping with the day,
it will, of course, be very holy, wholesome, and filled with peace, love,
joy, and good will. :) It also will be the 7th pre anniversary count down
to the end of the world, on December 23rd 2012. These two events will, I'm
sure, blend together very nicely! Don't miss this very special Last Exit For
The Lost! Especially as this will probably be the last time that Christmas
Day will fall on a Sunday before 2012, so this truly could be a once in a
lifetime event! Don't miss a moment of it!
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Notes from Azkath...

You MAY notice this is going out not on Thursday. I am, for a trial basis at
least, going to send out 2 e-mails a week again, which is how it used to be.
This one will go out Sunday or Monday morning, and will be a recap of the
shows, and the playlist and anything else pertinent. The normal Thursday one
will be the preview of the shows, show listings, and news...

I will also be updating the pictures on the site when I send this out, to
make everything more timely. That's all for now.
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: December 18, 2005
(R) = Requested

Background: Sun O))) "Black One"

Rammalah "The Other Side / Kill a Celebrity"
If Man is Five "Puppet Master"
Gamma Ray "Revelation"
Manowar "King of Kings"
Communic "History Reversed"
Betray My Secrets "Shamanic Dream"
Gothminister "Welcome / Monsters"
Neuraxis "Shatter the Wisdom"
Machine Men "Doors of Ressurection"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Are You Gonna Eat That?"
If Man is Five "Waltz"
Next Stop Willoughby "The Devil's Backyard'
Sun Descends "Menacing Devils"
Armageddon Monks "Severed"
Scum "Backstabbers go to Heaven"
Divinity Destroyed "Prism"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "King Of The Monkeys"
Others "I, Vampire"
Mercyful Fate "Black Funeral"
The Dillinger Escape Plan "43% Burnt" (R)
Worm Quartet "Hair On The Soap"
Acoustic Zaremba "Bundle Betty"
At All Cost "It Burns Black"
Horse the Band "Heroes Die"
Clawfinger "God is Dead"
Crotchduster "Mammal Sauce"
If Man is Five "The Lottery'
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Earthquake"
Early Man "Raped And Pillaged"
Sulaco "Cry Me A River"
Spanker "Figure It Out / Fork"
Die Apokalyptischen Reiter "Fatima"
Homesick Abortions "Music Of The Dead"
137 "Slug"
Powered By Satan "Big Stick (Oy Oy Oy!)"
Kryst the Conqueror "March of the Mega-Mites"
Krystal Synn "We are the Ones"
TNT "Tor with the Hammer"
Jolly Mon "Is My Name"
Pleasure Void "Bell Jar"
Pantera "Walk" (R)
Jello Biafra and the Melvins "Those Dumb Punk Kids (Will Buy Anything)"
Napalm Death "Suffer the Children"
Paramaecium "Untombed" (R)
Paradise Lost "Over the Madness"
The Pushrods "X-mas Sucks - Live on The Last Exit 2004"
Faith No More "Chinese Arithmetic"
King Diamond "No Presents for Christmas" (R)
Laaz Rockit "Say Goodbye MF"

Feature Artist: inRed and Divinity Destroyed Live from XSIII