The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - January 17, 2006
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
http://devoted.to/onslaught - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday -
Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during Both Shows:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

Joe and Rick were there, talking, and there were weird noises that they
couldn't figure out what was causing them. A moment later, Lance arrived.
And it was yet another incarnation of Lance... Aside from the usual glam
loving poser Lance, in recent weeks we have also had Black Metal Lance, (who
growled in Norwegian), and, Hard Core Lance (the one who said "yo, yo!", and
"brother" constantly). And now, apparently, we had Reggae Lance, only he
said his name was Lanca. Actually, on this night we were treated to three
different incarnations of Lance all in one night, but more about that in a
sec. Lanca said "mon" a lot, had filthy dreadlocks that he never washes,
talked about smoking stuff, and wanted to hear Bob Marley. This incarnation
was rather short lived, only one talk break. And, at the next break, the
second incarnation of Lance for the night was there... Goth Lance. This
Lance was a very gloomy Lance, saying many times how much life sucks, and
just keeps getting worse all the time. He soon began weeping, and, anything
they said to him would just make him cry more, and say how much life sucked,
how could one bear it??! This Lance wanted to hear The Cure, and Bauhaus. He
was still crying at the end of this break, so an annoyed Rick went in to see
him and brought him tissues. A weeping Goth Lance thanked Rick for the
tissues, and called him a friend, still crying and saying life sucks. This
version of Lance was also short lived, one talk break. At the next talk
break, Jeffie had arrived, and there was yet a third incarnation of Lance
there, who would be there for the rest of the night 'til he died at the end,
more on which in a bit. This version of Lance was Country Lance, or, as he
called himself, Lancer. This Lance had a pickup truck, chewed tobacco, spoke
with a southern drawl and used country slang. Jeffie informed us that he had
been collecting the parts of all the dead Lances, and was contemplating
building a Lance out of all the parts, with like eight arms. He also said
that most of the parts that he had were the heads, and so by now, he had a
big pile of Lance heads (except for the Lance who's head had exploded, he
only had a little of that one). Jeffie started going into his bag, (no, not
what your dirty minds are thinking!) and brought out a lot of things from
the past that we hadn't seen and heard in a while: Bubbles, the purple and
orange squawking bird, the purple slide whistle, and a pussy that had just
gotten laid, the pussycat puppet with the Hawaiian Lai necklace around it's
neck of course! (what were you thinking!?) Lancer and Jeffie sang a song for
former MO host and still current listener Q, who was sick apparently. Lance
did the kneeslap rhythm, and he and Jeffie sang. Country Lancer also loved
fiddles, banjos, and The Dukes Of Hazard. Jeffie shoved the laid pussy into
Lancer's face, saying it wanted a kiss. Lancer's mouth got a lot of pussy
hair in it. At the end of the night, Lancer was trying to get Jeffie to act
out a scene from his favorite movie Deliverance. He kept telling Jeffie to
touch his toes, that it would feel good. Jeffie didn't like this. He and
Lancer began fighting and struggling. Jeffie summoned Thor, telling him to
kill Lancer. Thor happily complied. And so there was yet another dead Lance.
Thor said that he would give this Lance's head to Jeffie for the collection
of Lance heads, which he would have Jeffie bring there sometime. And that
was The Metallic Onslaught for this week. Tune in next week to see if any
new incarnations of Lance show up, and for whatever else that may go on...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

Present on this show were: Crow, of The Pushrods, and most of Missing
Marcus, 3 out of four of their members, Jessica, Eric, and Guy. Just Joe was
mostly not there. No, that is not a comment on the fact that he is really
never fully all there, anywhere, wherever he is. :) No, I say "mostly"
because he attended a Sonata Arctica concert in Rochester, and so did not
get back from that 'til after 3:00, and then only stayed for two talk
breaks, then had to leave. Missing Marcus brought two new songs of theirs,
and we got to hear them both of course. They rocked. They updated us on what
they have been and will be up to. Jessica, the vocalist, sang a song, (that
she said she had sung in Ireland) a cappella. She is like Angela of If Man
Is Five, in that she had a very strong, powerful voice and could hit some
incredible notes and make the place vibrate. It was cool. Also, Just Joe
missed out by not being there, as she was wearing, or mostly not wearing, a
very skimpy top, which she occasionally popped out of, and which he would
have really appreciated a lot had he been there. http://www.missingmarcus
and http://www.myspace/missingmarcus are the sites where you can check them
out. Crow updated us on what has been, and what will be, going on with The
Pushrods. In the brief time that Just Joe was there, they showed him a book
that they had found there. It was called Great Lies To Tell Small Kids, and,
since Just Joe has the brain of a little kid, they thought it would be just
perfect for him. They read him a few of the items, and then found one that
they thought he should try. It said that if you spin yourself around and
around really really fast, you can make your head spin around, so that your
face will be on the back of your head. They told him, wouldn't that be
cool!? He should try that! And they talked him into it. He spun himself
around and around... His face did not wind up on the back of his head. After
a lot of spinning however, he did fall right on his head on the floor. Then
they sent him to smell the paint fumes in the basement, saying it would be
good for him. He did that, and was gone for the night. The Feature Artist
for the night to close out the show, was Missing Marcus's performance at The
Xtreme Soundscapes Volume 3 DVD Post Release Show, from back in November.
That came out great, and it was cool to hear it. While they were there,
Missing Marcus said that they will be back next week, the whole band this
time, all four of them, and it will be their drummer Greg's 1st time there.
And they may bring instruments and perform acoustically. The band Ayurveda
also should be there and perform acoustically. That will be cool. Tune in
for that, or whatever and/or whoever may go on/be there...
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Earthquake tremors are always pretty scary, but
especially here at the bobble-head doll factory.

(Wallace Johnson)
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: January 15, 2006
(R) = Requested

Background: Nothing "Silence Came Back in Filling"

Hanoi Rocks "Obscured"
Heartscarved "Subsiding The Floods Of Indifference"
Atritas "Black Sunday"
The Project Hate "Godslaughtering Murder Machine"
Nocturne "Shallow"
Hypocrisy "Fearless"
Pantera "5 Minutes Alone" (R)
Chris Caffery "State of the Head"
Himsa "They Speak in Swarms"
Nocturnal Rites "Fools Never Die"
Callenish Circle "As You Speak"
Lullacry "Fire Within"
Burst "Storm Wielder"
The Pushrods "Liar"
The Polidicks "Question It"
Acid Bath "The Bones of Baby Dolls - Demo Version"
Mastermind "Break Me Down"
BCT "Some Kind of Douchebag / I Love Satan"
Missing Marcus "Endgame"
Fall of Serenity "Royal Killing"
Fjorgyn "Fjorgyn "
137 "FCC (Force Controlled Culture)"
Helloween "Light the Universe"
Murder Squad T.O. "More Blood Will Flow"
Horse the Band "A Million Exploding Suns"
Sun Descends "The Circle Rises"
Lugosi's Morphine "Outta My Head"
Others "Preternatural Surrender / Powers that Be"
Eddie Ojeda "Eleanor Rigby"
Scissorfight "Rules are Different for Dead Men'
Demiricous "Beyond Obscene"
Dark Funeral "Feed on the Mortals"
Agony Column "4x4"
Drawn "Momento in Slomo"
Divine Silence "to Live or Die"
Tattoo of Pain "How Does It Feel"
Seven Witches "See You in Hell"
Heathen "Set Me Free (12" Version)"
Robot Goes Here "Zen and the Science of Nihilism"
Crisis "Captain Howdy" (R)
Eddie Ojeda "Tonight" (R)
Eria d"Or "The Crimson Rose'
Helloween "Halloween" (R)
Not Fragile "High Into Heaven"
Chaostar "An Electric Storm of Thoughts"
S&M "Regret"
Blacklisted "Bruising Serenade / I Refuse"
Vampira "Ambassador of Mourning"
Savage Grace "Ride into the Night"
Cerebral Fix "Bastards"
Crimson Glory "Azreal"
Creeper "Say High"
Destruction "Bestial Invasion"
Michael Kiske "New Horizons"
Seasons of the Wolf "We Will Rock You"

Feature: Missing Marcus Live from Castaways, Ithaca, Nov 20, 2005, XS III PR
Show
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Sure, the prison sentence will suck, but at
least I'll be in the Guinness Book of Records:
first person convicted of manslaughter by a belt
buckle at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.

(Jimbo)
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TOP STORIES...

A Norwegian heavy metal fan did not take kindly to being asked to turn down
the volume on his music.

The court has now sentenced the heavy metal music lover to 42 days in jail
after he threatened and terrified a neighbor. In May 2005 a female student
was studying for an exam but found it difficult to concentrate due to the
music booming into her room from a neighbor. She decided to knock on the
door and complain. To her horror, the man who answered the door responded by
going to get a spear. After telling her that she had no right to ask him to
turn his music down he cut her finger with the spear and then chased her
into her room.

Police found the man sitting on the steps with his spear and were forced to
use a police dog, clubs and pepper spray to disarm the furious headbanger,
who admitted that he was inebriated after drinking 18 beers.
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From The Onion...

RIAA Bans Telling Friends About Songs
November 30, 2005 | Issue 41•48

LOS ANGELES—The Recording Industry Association of America announced Tuesday
that it will be taking legal action against anyone discovered telling
friends, acquaintances, or associates about new songs, artists, or albums.
"We are merely exercising our right to defend our intellectual properties
from unauthorized peer-to-peer notification of the existence of copyrighted
material," a press release signed by RIAA anti-piracy director Brad Buckles
read. "We will aggressively prosecute those individuals who attempt to
pirate our property by generating 'buzz' about any proprietary music,
movies, or software, or enjoy same in the company of anyone other than
themselves." RIAA attorneys said they were also looking into the legality of
word-of-mouth "favorites-sharing" sites, such as coffee shops, universities,
and living rooms.
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Every grown man, no matter how old he
is, still has a little bit of the boy
he once was inside his heart. For
instance, we will still gaze with wonder
and awe at anything that is on fire.

(Josh Noble)
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This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...