The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 1, 2006
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY / 88.1FM in Ithaca, NY
Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
www.MetallicOnslaught.TheLastExit.org - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday - Eastern Time
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

Joe, Rick, Lancer, Josh (and his many alter egos, voices, and accents),
Potato, Jeffie, EVD, and Satan Duck were present. Jeffie said it was
time to play "What's In Jeffie's Pants?". And that turned out to be,
that blast from the past, the pussycat puppet. And Jeffie had brought
with him other blasts from the past as well, the purple slide whistle,
the blonde wig, and the kazoo, which we have EVD to thank for teaching
him how to play it. Jeffie kept shoving his pussy into everyone's face,
saying it wanted to kiss them. He also tried to put a plastic bag over
Satan Duck's head, to give Lancer and Joe lap dances, and to molest
potato. There was a lot of brawling. Jeffie and others (not the band,
there is no capitol o there) played Muppet songs on the kazoo with
accompaniment. Near the end of the night, the portal started acting up.
There was echoing, things repeating, and things and people, or what
passes for people there anyways, flying all around the room. And, thus
went MO...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

There was: Just Joe, EVD, D, and Gorgar. They told Just Joe that, for
his Tribute To The Past penalty tonight... If a bullet played, he would
have to put some Mentos in his mouth, and then drink some Diet Coke,
'cause, if you do that, it will explode, and, therefore, so should Just
Joe's head. Just Joe was dispatched to the store for the items needed
for this, and, while he was doing that, they played the TTTP (that is
the abbreviation for Tribute To The Past, for any of you who are slow,
and, it may come up again, so take note of it) set. The lucky streak
Just Joe's been on for a couple weeks held for this round. Just Joe
returned with the Mentos and Diet Coke, and they would soon try again
with round 2. And this time the mini lucky streak broke... Motley Crue's
live "Dr. Feel Good" played. So they told Just Joe to put some Mentos in
his mouth, and then to drink some of the Diet Coke. Just Joe did... And
nothing happened. They were puzzled. EVD was told to put 2 or 3 Mentos
in his mouth, and drink some Diet Coke. He did... And immediately began
foaming at the mouth and spraying Diet Coke And Mentos all over the
place. They rushed him out of the room, so that the mess he was creating
would be in the hallway at least. Then they told Just Joe to put like a
whole pack of Mentos in his mouth and drink a lot of Diet Coke. He
did... And absolutely nothing happened, and Just Joe said he felt fine.
They couldn't figure out why this punishment wasn't working on Just Joe,
but it obviously was not, though EVD didn't feel too well. Awww, and
Buckner And Garcia hadn't even played, and yet EVD had to suffer! Oh
well, he deserves it anyways, for a multitude of bad things he's done!
Not to mention for all his bad jokes! They gave up, concluding that Just
Joe must have something in his system that counteracted the lethal
mixture of Mentos and Diet Coke. So it was decided that, since their
bullet was a failure, they would do a Just Joe challenge. As you may and
should remember, this harkens back a year or two... The object of it was
and is that Just Joe go outside, someone would stand inside with a glass
of water, and Just Joe's challenge was to try and make it back inside
avoiding the water that would be thrown at him. if he managed to dodge
the water, or to throw the water onto the thrower, then he won. And it
was decided that everyone would get a try at this. So the challenge was
done. And then Azkath told Just Joe that he had decided what his new
reward / punishment would be... His Hugging Music was played... And he
was told that he could only hug those present who had succeeded in
getting him very wet, (um by having thrown water on him, of course).
Which, it just so happened, was everyone except for Gorgar and Azkath,
the latter of whom had missed on purpose. So, Just Joe went around
hugging everyone but those 2, which led to a lot of beating down of Just
Joe, brawling, and throwing of chairs. Then a 3rd round of TTTP was
played. And, this time, Just Joe was told that he could pick his bullet.
Well, that is, not pick anything he wanted, he probably would have said
a piggyback ride or something like that if they had let him do that,
which would have been a punishment for everyone else present, and not
for him. No, he could pick from between 2 choices... They had a bucket.
And, if a bullet played, Just Joe could either... Have them fill the
bucket with water, and let EVD try to throw the water on Just Joe... Or
they could put the bucket on his head, and then give the bucket, and
therefore Just Joe's head as well, of course, chair shots. He could wait
until a bullet played, if one did, to make his decision. And so round 3
was played... And 2 half bullets (2 Lillian Axe songs in a row) came up,
and that equals 1 bullet. Just Joe picked getting the chair shots. I
guess he likes getting bashed in the head, I mean, he might have been
able to out run the water, and then there would have been no penalty for
that round either, but there would be no escaping the chair shots. Oh
well, either he likes getting bashed in the head, or he is too dumb to
have figured that out, probably the latter. So the bucket was put on his
head, and Azkath gave the bucket several brutal chair shots, kicking the
bucket off of Just Joe's head on the last one, and then stomping on the
chair now on Joe's face, just for good measure. Then D requested that he
hit Just Joe, so he did (actually she was requesting he play Fintroll,
but Azkath managed to hear 'hit joe'). Then Gorgar hit Just Joe,
apparently wanting to get in on the action. It was now nearing the end
of the night. Azkath said that he was still puzzled and disappointed
about the Mentos and Diet Coke thing having turned out to be such a
complete and utter failure. Then he said "Hey, what if we put baking
soda and water in his mouth?". Someone piped up with "it's supposed to
be vinegar". And so they decided that they would make Just Joe put
baking soda and vinegar in his mouth. These items were fetched. They
packed Just Joe's mouth with the baking soda, and then they poured in
the vinegar... And nothing happened. It had, of course, been supposed to
fizz all up and come pouring out of all of his facial orifi. But no,
nothing. Azkath asked if anyone else would like to try the experiment on
themselves. nobody did. Just Joe told Azkath to try it, but he was busy
running the show, and so declined. And so this experiment / punishment
had also been a miserable failure... Well, not quite, because Just Joe,
being as stupid as he is, ate all of the baking soda vinegar mixture
they had put in his mouth, and, of course, as any idiot should know, but
this isn't just any idiot we're talking about here, it's Just Joe, it
made him really sick. Knowing that he would soon puke, they rushed him
into the bathroom, (last week, they had done everything possible to keep
him out of the bathroom, but now it was a different story, can you
imagine what all that vinegar puke would smell like!?), and locked the
door so the mess would be confined in there. And so now we have yet one
more item to add to the long, long, long long list of things that make
Just Joe a freak... Apparently things just will not fizz up in him, who
the hell knows why! And so that was LE... The Feature Artist was My
Dying Bride...
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Notes from Azkath...

One, please help spread the word about the Xtreme Soundscapes Show next
Saturday, Dec 9th at The Haunt. It will be the first time we have had an
out of town band (Divinity Destroyed) headline, and it would be nice to
see a good turnout. And encouraging. Anyways, the feature this week on
The Last Exit will be Divinity Destroyed live from the September XS
show, and Tom Fury live from the 2nd Anniversary Show in November. Also,
Divinity Destroyed, or at least Mark, swears that they will be up to The
Last Exit that night after the show. I guess we will see. Fluttreffect
were also considering coming to the show. But all that is next week.

I think this week 6 Finger may be stopping in with some new music we can
air, they are also playing the show on the 9th...

As for The Metallic Onslaught, um, no idea.

On the website, I have created a NEW and BETTER RSS feed for anyone who
cares, and I have FINALLY put up all three volumes of the Retro Best of
DVD's. Go check it out, and I will be adding the bonus disk eventually...
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WORM QUARTET UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 11/28/06

Hi, people who give a crap about things that involve me!

Rochester, this is your lucky week! Not one, but TWO performances of the
ever-lovin' WQ will be coming your way within the next few days!

WORM QUARTET PLAYING SONGS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AT PLACES NEWS
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November 30, 2006 - Rochester, NY

TORSOS FROM SPACE
WORM QUARTET

@ A-Pub Live ( http://www.iamthirsty.com/APUBLive/ )
336 East Avenue (Behind Daisy Dukes)
Rochester, NY

9:00 PM - $2 at the door

(I'm on at 9, Torsos at 10:30. You'll be home before midnight.)

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December 2, 2006 - Rochester, NY

Luke Ramsey Closing ceremony
Featuring art by Luke Ramsey and a pot luck for some reason!
So bring food!

Featuring musical performances by:
GAYBOT
SOMOLIAN BONAPARTE
little yellow bird
WORM QUARTET

@ A/V Lounge ( http://www.avspace.org )
8 Public Market (second floor)
Rochester NY 14609
Use the North Union St entrance when entering the Public Market.

9:00 PM

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More shows at http://www.wormquartet.com !!!

WORM QUARTET ON NEW DR. DEMENTO COMPILATION NEWS
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Yowza!! Worm Quartet's latest gender-identification-confusion opus, "I'm
Not
A Girl," is going to be included on Dr. Demento's new "Basement Tapes" CD,
which will be available to all members of The Demento Society! Check out
http://www.drdemento.com for more info!

And speaking of the good Doctor...

WORM QUARTET GUNNING FOR THE TOP 25 ON DR. DEMENTO NEWS
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We're coming up on the end of the year, and both "I'm Not A Girl" and "you
were wrong Cabinet Sanchez" are strong candidates for the year-end Dr.
Demento
Funny 25 countdown this year! So why don't you take a break from gluing
live
gerbils together into the shape of a gigantic supergerbil and pop over to
http://www.drdemento.com where you can click on "Request A Song" and
fill out
a stupid little form to make Shoebox the happiest muddavugga in the
universe
once again?

If you don't get Dr. Demento in your area, you can enter "online" or
"internet" for the "Radio Station" field, because the good Dr. streams
episodes from his website for a mere $2.00 (a highly-recommended way of
getting your weekly dose of Dementia if you're not currently doing it!)

WORM QUARTET BUTTONS NEWS
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Holy poopnuggets on stick! Given that WQ has such a beautiful circular
logo,
you'd think it wouldn't have taken so long for me to get buttons made! But
in an effort to make up for lost time, *SIX* different Worm Quartet buttons
are now available for purchase in the "Buy Stuff" section of
http://www.wormquartet.com (and at shows, of course.)

NEW ALBUM NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Putting the finishing touches on a handful of songs, totally redoing entire
sections of others, and still writing some. Still planning to have this
thing
out by February or March of '07 even if I have to personally strangle every
last one of you to make it happen. It's sounding great so far.

SHOEBOX SELLING CRAP TO PAY OFF HIS CREDIT CARD DEBT NEWS
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Ooooh, look! Atari stuff and some of my wife's Nightmare Before Christmas
memorabilia for sale, among other things! Help me retroactively pay for the
food I ate back when I was unemployed!
http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/mrshoebox

ODOR NEWS
=-=-=-=-=
I'm fighting off the same cold that pretty much everyone else in the
friggin'
universe seems to have right now. By day, I smell like DayQuil. By night, I
smell like NyQuil. At dusk I would smell like DusQuil except that Vicks
didn't
bother thinking of the fact that sometimes people feel like crap IN
BETWEEN day
and night. WHERE'S MY 5:17QUIL, HUH!? STUPID VICKS! I KICK YOU WITH MY
BUTT!!

I shall now shut up! Hope you guys are all experiencing twelve different
kinds
of kickass at any given time, and hope to see some of you at my shows
this week!

Trotting morbidly through a field of conical abdomens,
-=ShoEboX=-

--
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: November 26, 2006
(R) = Requested

Background:The Unquiet Void "The Shadow-Haunted Outside"

My Dying Bride "To Remain Tombless"
Septic Flesh "On The Topmost Step of the Earth"
Protest the Hero "Divinity Within"
Angels Beneath Me "A New Dream"
Stolen Babies "Filistata"
Ludicra "Veils"
Disillusion "The Hole We are In"
Possessed "The Eyes of Horror"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST **
Heretic "Portrait of Faith"
Thorns of the Carrion "Bleak Thorn Laurels"
Deicide "Oblivious to Evil"
Waltari "Color TV"
Bathory "One Rode to Asa Bay"

Tom Fury "Visible"
Castle Bravo "Iceman"
Fluttreffect "Talk to Me"
6 Finger "Paralysis"
Divinity Destroyed "These Waking Dreams"
Armageddon Monks "Silence"
Jon Oliva's Pain "Maniacal Renderings"
Sleppytime Gorilla Museum "Sleep is Wrong"
Worm Quartet "I Bit William Shatner"
Fallguy "The Snake Behind the Mask"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Laibach "Satanic Versus"
Coroner "Purple Haze"
Pestilence "Deify Thy Master"
The Accused "War=Death '88 (and Beyond)"
Motley Crue "Dr. Feelgood"

Where Echoes End "I Tell the Truth, Even When I Lie"
Frost "Hell or High Water'
Leeron Zydeco "Squeeze the Shaman"
The Esoteric "Science is Sexy"
Down "The Man that Follows Hell" (R)
Anacrusis "Release" (R)
Burn in Silence "Lines from an Epitaph"
Dead Rabbits "Open Season"
Zombeast "In Nightmares"
Tenacious D "Kickapoo"
Psychostick "Beer!!! / I Hate Doing Laundry"
Wolf "Black Magic"
Terror 2000 "Liquor Saved Me From Sports"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Armored Saint "Tribal Dance"
Lillian Axe "Dream of a Lifetime / Laughing in your Face"
Coptic Rain "Barefoot"
Neurosis "Threshold"

The Suicide Machines "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden"
Nasty Savage "XXX"
Sacrifice "Re-Animated"
Slave One "Hybrid Strain"
Zno White "A Soldier's Creed"
Nevermore "The Heart Collector"
Bruce Dickinson "Man of Sorrows (Orchestral Version)"
Lucid Nation "Food Chain"
Detente "Vultures in the Sky"
NOFX "I'm Going to Hell for this One"
Power Salad "My Cat is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner"

Feature Artist: My Dying Bride

Sear Me MCMXCIII
The Crown of Sympathy
Cry of Mankind
The Stance of Evander Sinque
It Will Come
My Hope, The Destroyer
The Return of the Beautiful
Sear Me III
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Upcoming Local Shows

Sat, Dec 2 – Pineapple Jacks, Rochester
Inherence, Vlad’s Philosphy, Vinyl, (god-rot), Arkhem, Blue Thunder,
Fallguy, Aggressive Betty, and Jive Mama’s

Sat, Dec 9 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Show
Divinity Destroyed, 6 Finger, Fluttreffect, Castle Bravo, and Tom Fury

Sat, Dec 16 – The Downtown Quarterback, Endicott
Punch Drunk Monkeys, Others, and If Man is Five

Fri, Jan 26 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol VI DVD Release Show...
Details TBA

Wed, Feb 14 – The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
Mastadon, Priestess, and Converge