The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 15, 2006
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY / 88.1FM in Ithaca, NY
Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
www.MetallicOnslaught.TheLastExit.org - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday - Eastern Time
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **


On The Metallic Onslaught:

There were: Joe, Rick, Josh, (along with his five hundred or so
personalities and voices and accents), Lancer, (who had brought with him
someone he called Jeb, whom he said was his drinking buddy, which I'm
sure means they hang out and drink Coca cola together, since we all know
Lancer doesn't imbibe alcohol, well, at least not since he went on the
twelve step program a couple months ago), Jeffie, EVD, and since it is
nearing Christmas, and, thus, this dude's time to be seen in public,
Santa, complete with a new SUV, a black one, apparently Santa is not
environmentally conscious. Santa's busy making up his naughty and nice
lists, (he should be on the naughty one, we all know that SUV's are bad
for the environment), the nice get presents, the naughty get knee
capped. Jeffie wanted to sit on Santa's lap, but Santa wasn't down with
that. Jeffie had his wig again, and he put it on Jeb's head, which was
really unfortunate for Jeb, as that wig spends a lot of time in Jeffie's
pants. Josh's constantly changing accents, not to mention, he also
frequently lapses into speaking Spanish, and then no one there knows
what he's saying, confused Santa. And there was a lot of brawling and
molesting going on. Jeffie had a squeaky stuffed animal which he kept
molesting everyone with... And MO happy birthdays go out this week to,
Rick, who's birthday was December 8th, which fell on a Friday this year,
so it was actually on 3 hours of MO, and to Lance, (the original glam
lover Lance, I'm not sure, but I don't think his birthday applies to all
his clones), who's birthday was December 4th, this past Monday. HAPPY
BIRTHDAY to both of them!

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

This show fell right after an Xtreme Soundscapes Show, which you BETTER
have all been at, Or The Wizard will breathe fire on you and turn you
into Teletubbies. There were Just Joe, EVD, D, Mrs. Rub McGroin, and the
band Fluttr Effect, who had just performed at The Xtreme Soundscapes
Show. Or The Fluttr Effect Trio, the 3 female members of the band. Right
at the top of the show, EVD was told to throw Just Joe down the stairs,
but then EVD told one of his seemingly endless supply of really really
bad jokes, and so then Just Joe was told to throw EVD down the stairs.
It was hoped that they might throw each other down the stairs. But EVD
prevailed, and threw Just Joe down the stairs, not a very good throw,
far from his best, but a throw down the stairs nonetheless. The band
brought with them a room full of exotic instruments, which have never
been heard on LE before. To start with, there was a cello, which under
ordinary circumstances would have been the most unusual instrument for a
band to have on LE, but they had also brought a marimba, which is like
an electrical xylophone, and a melodica, which is like a flute, you blow
into it, but it sounds like an accordion. The band was there for about
the first hour and a quarter. They played an extended, uninterrupted set
of 4 songs. They have a different, hard to categorize sound, as you
might surmise from the instruments I just described, but they are cool,
and they rock. They were interviewed, and were asked, and gave their
answers to, a lot of theinsanedomain.com questions. www.fluttreffect.com
is their web site. A happy birthday song was played for EVD, as his
birthday was this past Monday, December 4th, at four sixteen P.M. HAPPY
BIRTHDAY EVD! So, this show was also kinda celebrating that. TTTP
(that's Tribute To The Past, for anyone who's slow, I'm transitioning
into using this abbreviation, as it's a bit to write, so take notes boys
and girls) was played. There are now four thousand ten songs on the
computer, with a running time of 12 days and 20 some minutes. On this
night, the rules were... If a bullet played, D would get to set Just Joe
on fire with EVD's help, and, if, on the hugely likely chance that
Buckner And Garcia (which would normally mean that EVD would have to
take the bullet penalty, but, since it was his birthday show, things
were different tonight) played, then EVD would get to set Just Joe on
fire with D's help. Round 1... No bullet. They decided to play another
round right after that. No bullet. A bit later, round 3 was played. No
bullet. It was decided to go directly to round 4. Gee, you sometimes get
the feeling that maybe, possibly, they actually want bullets to play.
Nah!!!! Where did I ever get that Idea!? They would never hope for that,
especially not around this time of year which is all about peace, good
will, love, and Play Station 3's... They did repeat that they could only
set Just Joe on fire if a bullet played, but now there was mention that,
if a bullet didn't play, and Just Joe were to be set on fire, it would
be accidentally. Round 4. No bullet. They told D they were sorry. She
was disappointed. Then obviously in an attempt to change the subject and
try to get her mind off her great disappointment, she began to tell them
about her brand new cigarette lighter that she had just got. They said
"Wow, could they perhaps see it?". She obliged, displaying her shiny red
lighter. They remarked that, "Wow, that lighter sure did have a big
flame!". Obviously because she didn't want Just Joe to miss out on
seeing this wondrous item, because she is so thoughtful that way, she
went to show it to Just Joe. They warned her, saying that she would
trip. Just Joe tried to get away... And the next thing you know, Just
Joe was screaming... Because he had somehow caught on fire. Oh! what a
HORRIBLE accident!!!! Let that be a lesson to you boys and girls! You
must always use extreme caution around fire. D in her infinite kindness
went to help Just Joe, telling him that he must not get too near the
flame. And somehow, Just Joe was screaming again... Somehow, another
horrible accident had occurred, and he was on fire again. Well, you
know, there is always balance in things, and I guess, to counteract all
that incredible good luck he had had with the bullets, now he was just
having incredibly bad luck with accidents. D again trying to help Just
Joe, because she cares so much, told him to stop drop and role, Standard
procedure for when one is on fire, remember that children, and he did,
and to everyone's utter horror and dismay, rolled right down the stairs.
Oh, what a shame!, was the thought on the minds of one and all, what
terrible accidents! They would really have to learn to be more careful!
Of course, they had been being very careful, but, next time, they would
have to be sure to redouble their efforts to be even more so, as we all
so hate to see bad things happen to Just Joe! They told Just Joe to run
outside, that it was cold out there, and that would put out the fire.
Just Joe did this. At the next break, he was still absent, but he soon
came in... Completely naked. They inquired as to why this should be. He
replied that his clothes had all burned off. A lot of his body hair had
also burned off, but not all of it, as there was a lot there. Well,
running had been a bad idea, you should never run when you are on fire
children, that will make the fire spread, you should stop drop and roll.
Just try not to roll down a flight of stairs, that's not so good. Be
sure to remember these things, fire safety is very important! He pointed
out that they had told him to run, and that the cold would put it out.
Um, Just Joe, just cold alone, will not help much, now, if it had been
raining or snowing outside, well, then that would have helped, or you
could have rolled in the snow, but, alas, those were not the weather
conditions on that night, and I'm sure they did not mean to give you the
wrong advice, it was just ignorance, what else could it have been, they
were certainly trying to help him. He accused them of this not having
been an accident. They denied it, saying that of course it was an
accident, and a horrible one, or series of horrible ones at that. He
didn't believe them for some reason, I can't imagine why, they are such
trustworthy people, they've never given him, or anyone else, reason to
doubt their word or sincerity. Just Joe threatened D, and, well, tainted
her, by showing her his taint. Which was all very unfortunate for D as
he was completely naked. She was very unhappy, screamed, said it was
horrible, and that she wanted to gouge her eyes out. But, D, honey, he
was naked because you set (accidentally, of course) him on fire, and you
had been saying that you wanted so badly to do that all night. His
terrible accident turned out to be your good luck, it gave you what you
said you wanted. So, I guess you should be careful what you want.
Because the joy you got from the terrible accident of him catching on
fire, was then balanced out by having a naked Just Joe sit on you and,
err, well, taint you. So, D, was it worth it? Well, only you can decide
that. And there's your mini philosophy sermon. The Feature Artist was...
2. 1st, Crappy The Clown, and then Rabid, both from The Xtreme
Soundscapes 2nd Anniversary Show, on November 12th. They sounded great,
were cool, and were good to hear. And next week will be a special show,
(well, they all are, but there's a reason for this one), as it will be
D's last show, because she is moving to Sweden to marry a Viking, and
that is the reason, truth, no joke. So, that will be an event, and I'm
sure will not be at all good for Just Joe. Tune in and hear it...
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Notes from Azkath...

Yes, Metallic Onslaught tonight will be D's last apperance there. Should
be memorable.

On The Last Exit, also D's last appearance, at least till she decides
Sweden sucks and moves back, and we have some fun stuff set up for her.
Who knows who may stop in, and there will be cake... likely all over
Joe. The feature artist will be Chamber Law from D's last show...
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: December 10, 2006
(R) = Requested

Background: Stone Glas Steel "Industrial Meditation"

Rudra "Twilight of Duality"
Suidakra "A Blackened Shield"
Missing Marcus "Tunnel Vision"
Divinity Destroyed "Forever and Never"

Fluttr Effect Trio Live in Studio
Transmission
Awake
Swallows and Sparrows
February 1st

NOFX "New Happy Birthday Song?"
Prototype "Synthespian"
Disillusion "Save the Past"
I "Far Beyond the Quiet"
Mahavatar "Cult"
Unexpect "Feasting Fools"
Butchering the Beatles "Back in the USSR"
Vesperian Sorrow "The Forever Vortex"
Stolen Babies "Tall Tales"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST **
Paradise Lost "Eternal"
Deathwish "Demon Preacher"
Night in Gales "Black Velvet"
Nokturnal Mortem "Night Before the Fight"
Holy Moses "Dear Little Friend"
Overkill "Nice Day... For a Funeral / Solitude"
Kreator "Gangland"
Crimson Glory "In Dark Places"
L.A Guns "Long Time Dead"
Ophelia's Dream "Rise"
Myriads "Dreams of Reality"

Avenged Sevenfold "Second Heartbeat' (R)
Ludicra "Only a Moment"
Horse the Band "Taken by Vultures"
Armageddon Monks "Break Down"

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Faith No More "We Care A Lot"
The Gathering "Strange Machines"
Suicidal Tendencies "Pop Songs"
Darkane "Rape of Mankind"
Skinny Puppy "Cult"
Life, Sex, Death "Blue Velvet Moon / We're Here Now"
Indestroy "U.S.S.A."
Fifth Angel "Only the Strong Survive"
Doro "River of Tears"
My Dying Bride "Return of the Beautiful"

Possessed "Swing of the Axe"
Orphaned Land "Mercy"
Silent Scream of Godless Elegy "Kashmir"
Scorpions "In Trance"
Tigertailz "Murderess"
Nuclear Assault "Wired"
Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force "I am a Viking"
Obituary "Find the Arise"
Olemus "Dead Heart Goddess"
Nothing "Her Voice, Like Loss"
Sinergy "Invincible"

Feature Artist: Crappy the Clown / Rabid - XS 2 Yr Anniversary Show
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Upcoming Local Shows

Fri, Dec 15 – The Amp, Elmira
Bone Jar, Brand New Sin, and 12 oz Muzzle

Sat, Dec 16 – The Downtown Quarterback, Endicott
Punch Drunk Monkeys, Others, and If Man is Five

Sun, Dec 17 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Bella Morte

Tues, Dec 19 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Brand New Sin and Chemical Flaw

Wed, Dec 20 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Space Farm 2600, Wagner, and Fallen Enemy

Thurs, Dec 28 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Beers Metal and Ratman and the 8 Ball Shifters

Sat, Dec 30 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Missing Marcus and Black Tears of Vengeance

Fri, Jan 26 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol VI DVD Release Show...
Details TBA

Fri, Feb 2 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Bone Jar, Stemm, and Child’s Play

Wed, Feb 14 – The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
Mastodon, Priestess, and Converge

Fri, March 2 – Castaways, Ithaca
Fluttr Effect and Missing Marcus