The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 29, 2006
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY / 88.1FM in Ithaca, NY
Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
www.MetallicOnslaught.TheLastExit.org - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday - Eastern Time
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **


On The Metallic Onslaught:

Because it was so near Christmas, MO took a break from all the violence,
chaos, incivility, and metal music, which, while cool, and rockin',
tends to kinda encompass all those things I just mentioned, and it was a
peaceful, gentle, five hours, filled with Celtic and World Christmas
music. Of course, the MO gang may very well have been engaging in all
that aforementioned behavior, but, if so, they were doing it elsewhere,
as WEOS ran special holiday programming in that time slot, so there was
no Metallic Onslaught this week...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

Falling on the morning of Christmas Eve Day, and 3 days after The Winter
Solstice, this was our Armageddon, 6 Year Pre-Anniversary Count Down To
The End Of The World (which is slated for The Winter Solstice in 2012),
Show. Present (with presents?, bad pun, but a holiday themed one, and no
worse than EVD's jokes, I apologize, though) were: Just Joe, EVD,
Gorgar, Tim, formerly of Victory Records, and now with Century Media.
Azkath told Just Joe to go find a Christmas tree. Just Joe left and
returned with a fully decorated tree, which looked suspiciously like he
had stolen it from someone's house, though he denied that. Azkath set
the tree on fire, then realizing a few seconds too late that that
probably should have been done outside, told Just Joe to take the tree
outside. Just Joe tried to, and got himself set on fire... Again... He
stopped, dropped, and rolled, but, again, he rolled the wrong way, and
rolled right down the stairs, but it did put the fire out. TTTP was
played, and it was a Christmas TTTP this time... Included in the mix of
songs, were some Christmas songs, which were also counted as bullets,
special Christmas bullets. If a Christmas bullet played, then Just Joe
would be nailed to a wooden cross (wait, isn't that the wrong holiday,
shouldn't that be for Easter?, oh well, it is always a festive thing to
nail Just Joe to a cross, and it brings people joy, (well, not Just Joe
joy, but everyone else), which is what the holidays are supposed to be
all about, so it was an appropriate holiday gesture). And, if a regular,
every day bullet played, then Just Joe would have a plate broken on top
of him with The Giant Hammer... Or, why not nail him to the cross, and
then break the plate over him while he's up there? A Christmas song (one
that did not sound like a Christmas song, but was, just a unique take on
Christmas songs) played, and so Just Joe was nailed to a cross. Because
they had not been able to find spikes, it took a lot of small nails to
do the job. The screams of agony were quite something to behold. After
it was done, it occurred to them that this really is supposed to be more
of an Easter thing, that perhaps they should have waited 'til then, or
'til July, when Jesus was born, to do this. So they decided that, since
he was already up there, and perhaps this had been the wrong time for
this, they should not take him down, but just leave him there. Just Joe
was screaming and whining about this, but they assured him that it would
be ok... They would take him down... Eventually... And, just think, we
get to do this all again at Easter, so you have that to look forward to,
Just Joe! Won't that be fun!? At the next break, Just Joe was still up
there, whining and screaming, so they kindly yanked him down. Just Joe,
however, was not grateful, whining about the pain this caused him, and
about all the bleeding. Ingrate. They told him there was Super Glue down
stairs, that he could glue the holes shut with that. Just Joe whined
that he didn't think he could make it down there, so the ever thoughtful
Azkath kindly helped him out by shoving him down the stairs. Just Joe
wasn't grateful for that, either, and went on screaming and whining.
There is just no pleasing some people, they're never satisfied no matter
what you do!, I mean, first he whined about being on the cross, they get
him down, he whines about that, he whines about his bleeding holes, they
tell him where the Super Glue is, he whines about that, they help him
there to get it, and he complains about that! You should definitely get
nothing but coal this year, Just Joe! They had EVD hypnotize Just Joe
into thinking he was Hammy The Squirrel from the movie, Over the Hedge,
and he got all happy and running around asking everyone where his nuts
were. Now I could make a smart remark here, like "Gee, Just Joe, try
looking between your legs, dumbass!", but, I am waaaay too mature a
person for that, now aren't I?, so I did not just say that. EVD snapped
him out of it. They told Just Joe he must have teleported, how else did
he wind up in a different place? EVD put Just Joe back under, he was
Hammy again. Azkath told Just Joe, err, I mean Hammy, that he knew where
his nuts were, they were in Tim's belly! (I could make another smart
remark here, like "EEEEWWWWW!!!! Tim!? You ate Just Joe's nuts, you sick
freak!" But, again, I am MUCH too mature for that, so I didn't! Aren't
you so proud of me? I am!). Hammy got all excited, thinking he could get
nuts (SICK!), he ran to Tim. Azkath told Hammy he needed to poke Tim's
belly, that that would make the nuts come (Nuts!, Come!) out. Just Joe
attacked Tim demanding his nuts and poking away, saying that Tim wasn't
giving him back his nuts. Azkath told him to poke Tim's belly some more,
that, if he just kept doing that, sooner or later, nuts would pop out.
(I think that's some screwed up biology and anatomy there, I don't think
nuts are located on the belly, but, ah well.) Just Joe kept attacking
and poking Tim saying that he wasn't getting his nuts back, why wouldn't
he give him back his nuts!? Poor Tim, (who just LOVES to have his belly
poked, for some reason, it makes him just squeal and giggle with
delight, he loves it so much, he just can't get enough of it), ran out
of the room. EVD snapped Just Joe out of it. Then Just Joe went back
into it when EVD just spoke to him, and went after Tim again. Every time
he'd come out of it, they'd tell him he must be teleporting, how else
did he keep winding up in different places. Then EVD hypnotized Just Joe
into thinking he loved spiders. They put lots of little spiders all over
Just Joe, and he was all happy with that... That is... Until they
brought him out of his hypnotic state, saying "Why Just Joe, look at all
the tiny spiders all over you! Isn't that awesome!?". Just Joe,
apparently, did not think it was awesome, or not any more, anyways. He
started shrieking in terror, threw himself down the stairs, saying that
would kill them, ran back up the stairs, and ran, head first, into the
wall. Then they duct taped Just Joe back to the cross. They did this
because they were not sure the nails would hold him. Just Joe started in
whining again, and, after a while, and some discussion, they decided
that maybe they should take him down, after all, Jesus had been taken
down from the cross. And, besides, Just Joe was up there, mostly nude,
(YUCK!), covered in a lot of body hair, which was covered in duct
tape... Are you getting the picture here? They yanked all that duct tape
off, freeing Just Joe, who, again, was not at all grateful, and kept
screaming and whining. I guess all that body hair has already grown back
from being burned off a couple weeks ago, his hair just grows like
weeds. At the last portion of the show, the last talk part, anyways,
Azkath attacked Just Joe and punched him in all the places where he'd
been nailed (that sounds DIRTY!). So now Just Joe had a Stigmata. They
hypnotized Just Joe again, first the nuts thing again, and then into
believing he was a deer, when Just Joe ran around saying he was a deer,
they said "Look!, Gorgar!, a deer!". An enraged Gorgar attacked Just
Joe, and beat the crap out of him. The Feature Artist was Neurosis, a
very apocalyptic band. And thus went The 6 Year Pre Anniversary Count
Down To The End Of The World, Armageddon, Kind Of Christmas Show...
Happy all of that to everyone! Next week LE will fall on New Year's Eve
Day, which will also be the last time that occurs. Who knows what will
happen, or who will show up, but you won't want to miss it! So tune in
and hear!
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Notes from Azkath...

New Years Eve Day? hmmm... So, the Metallic Onslaught is back this week.
And on The Last Exit, well, I have yet to decide what we will do, and I
have no idea who may show up, although we MAY have a guest or two that
have not been there in a while, however, I would not bet money on it.
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: December 24, 2006
(R) = Requested

Background: Tribes of Neurot "Silver Blood Transmission"

Neurosis "Threshold"
Fields of the Nephilim "One More Nightmare"
My Dying Bride "The Crown of Sympathy"
Fear of God "Drift"
King Diamond "No Present for Christmas"
Therion "Trul"
Rudra "The Pathless Path to the Knowable Unknown"
Mahavatar "The Time Has Come"
Vesperian Sorrow "The Forever Vortex"
Divinity Destroyed "Forever and Never"
My Dying Bride "Deeper Down" (R)

** TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Manowar "All Men Play on 10"
Nitro "Freight Train"
Fifth Angel "We Rule"
Danzig "East Indian Devil (Kali's Song)"
The Anti-Nowhere League "Snowman"

Fluttr Effect "Transmission'
Unexpect "Megalomaniac Trees"
This Will Hurt You "Jingle Bell Rock"
Therion "Black Sun" (R)
Vesania "Fireclipse"
Black Sabbath "Disturbing the Priest"
Bathory "Destroyer of Worlds"
Bloodstar "World is Dead"
Engine "Falling Star"
Endura "The Stars are Right"
King Diamond "Christmas"
Hypocrisy "Until the End"
Monster Magnet "Dead Christmas"
This Will Hurt You "Xmas Tree on Fire Fire Fire!"
Hanoi Rocks "Dead by Xmas"
King Diamond "No Presents for Christmas" (R)
Naglfar "Embracing the Apocalypse"
Old Man's child "World Expiration"
Night Conquers Day "The Perseverance of Ignorace"
In This Moment "Prayers"
Gang Green "Born to Rock"
Atrophy "Urban Decay"
Where Echoes End "Terra Incognita"
Sacrifice "Flames of Armageddon"
Venom "Black Xmas"
Overkill "The Years of Decay"
Paragon of Beauty "One Step into Nothingness"
Mastermind "End of the World"

Feature Artist: Neurosis

Within
A Chronology for Survival
To Crawl Under One's Skin
Eye
Under the Surface
Locust Star
Prayer
Aeon
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Upcoming Live Shows

Fri, Jan 5 – Castaways, Ithaca
Space Farm 2600 and A Dark Satellite

Fri, Jan 26 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol VI DVD Release Show...
If Man is Five and more TBA…

Sat, Jan 27 – The Downtown Quarterback, Endicott
Others, Devastation Masters, G-Men, and Murdersquad T.O.

Fri, Feb 2 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Bone Jar, Stemm, and Child’s Play

Wed, Feb 14 – The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
Mastodon, Priestess, and Converge

Sat, Feb. 17 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester
GOD FORBID, Goatwhore, Mnemic, Byzantine, Arsis, Fallguy

Fri, March 2 – Castaways, Ithaca
Fluttr Effect and Missing Marcus

Sun, March 25 – Harro East Ballroom, Rochester
Lamb of God, Gorjira, Machine Head, and Trivium