The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - April 6, 2007
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY / 88.1FM in Ithaca, NY
Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
www.MetallicOnslaught.TheLastExit.org - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday - Eastern Time
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
AIM: LastExitLost666
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Notes from Azkath...

Hey, you know that show we had to move? The Xtreme Soundscapes DVD
Release Show? Moving it again, this time to May 18th. Hopefully for the
final time. It will be If Man is Five, Bone Jar, 137, and I believe Drop
Clutch. It will likely also be the last official release show, in the
future, we will just get the DVD's done when they are done, and you will
be able to get them at the shows. Maybe if we were selling them the
release show idea would work, but since they are free, it doesn't really
matter what show you get them at, they are still free. So, no more
deadlines, just shows and free DVD's. :)

As for the radio shows, I do know that EVD plans to be at The Metallic
Onslaught tonight. No idea who else may show up aside from the regulars...

On The Last Exit, we have our traditional We Love Satan Show. I am not
talking about what may happen. It will be... something. I'm sure
something happy and stuff. You know, like always... Our feature artist,
I think, will be Punch Drunk Monkeys live from December...
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** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

There were: Joe, Rick, Lancer, Josh And CO., Jeffie and Thor, Gorgar,
Little Gorgar, and Gorgar's bodyguard, as he had wisely acquired one for
his first ever trip to MO. Unfortunately for him he obviously didn't do
enough shopping around for his bodyguard, as he turned out to have
picked one that did a lousy job. Gorgar, next time demand references,
that's very important! We got to witness some more truly disturbing
children's beloved characters turned black metal. This time it was the
McDonalds gang, Ronald, Grimmis, The Hamburgerlar. FRIGHTENING! The
bodyguard was supposed to keep Jeffie away from Gorgar. Jeffie kept
trying to hug (and with Jeffie, hugging, if that by itself weren't bad
enough, never seems to mean just hugging, it also always seems to have
to involve a lot of groping and molesting) Gorgar. At first the
bodyguard successfully prevented this. There was a ton of brawling as
Jeffie kept trying. But, when Thor was called out, he dispatched the
bodyguard right away. He destroyed him and left him on the floor. Then
Thor attacked Gorgar. When Jeffie was back he went back to trying to hug
Gorgar, and Joe helped him get rid of the bodyguard (put him back on the
floor), and so Jeffie got to Gorgar and hugged and molested him. Jeffie
played "What's In Jeffie's Pants?", and what was in Jeffie's pants
was... Little Jeffie. No one was happy to see Little Jeffie. Jeffie
played "what's in Gorgar's Pants", and said there was a monkey in
Gorgar's pants. Then Jeffie said he had a present for Gorgar... It was a
big spider. Now, for those of you who may not be aware of this (and,
damn you!, if you aren't, as it means that you do not listen to The Last
Exit For The Lost, or read my recaps of the same, and you must do both
those things!), Gorgar is TERRIFIED of spiders (silly dinosaur!, Spiders
are cool! To paraphrase Trix cereal's "Silly Rabbit! Trix are for
kids!"). There was more brawling. Thor came after Gorgar, and, again,
the bodyguard was no help. Gorgar argued with, and then fired his
bodyguard, sighting lousy job performance. Joe told Thor that he should
be Gorgar's new bodyguard and protect him from Jeffie. Thor said "ok".
So Jeffie would try to hug Gorgar, and Thor would emerge and beat down
Jeffie. Jeffie would wonder why he was hurt, and it would start again...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

There were: Just Joe, EVD, Armageddon Monks, Eric from Missing Marcus,
Dave (a new guy), Preston, a representative of the organization Defense
of the Interests of Concerned Citizens, or DICC for short, which, sounds
like Dick, haha, a short DICC, if you will. Preston said that he was
there to ensure that there was no violence on the radio, as we have to
think of the children. And he was also there to defend the RIAA, to stop
the evil Internet, so that poor artists like Justin Timberlake, and
Metallica won't have to starve any more, as they have been doing because
of the evil Internet. Preston, however, looked and sounded suspiciously
a lot like the keeper of Vern. Just Joe was told to search him for
puppets. Preston claimed that he'd been to a rehab program, and no
longer commanded puppets. In order to make sure that they really had the
full understanding of the rules of just what they could and couldn't do
on the radio, They did a bunch of stuff to Just Joe, asking after each
one, if that was ok? None of it (Smacking, punching, kicking, eye
gouging), it turns out were ok. They also kept having Just Joe molest
and hump Preston. Preston kept shutting down the show, or at least he
thought that was what he was doing, in reality, he was only shutting off
the lights, everything was still on the air. At last it seemed that they
had resolved everything, come to an agreement, Preston even asked Just
Joe to give him a hug, a Platonic, radio friendly and appropriate hug.
Preston said that it was just lovely to have met them all, and that he
had just one last thing to say... Whereupon he viciously attacked Just
Joe and beat him down. They asked him why he, a man of nonviolence and
decency, had done such a thing!? (Even though it had been cool to
witness.) Preston kept on beating down Just Joe, then said "why do you
think I'm doing it!?", You really think I represent the interests of the
RIAA, or of concerned citizens, for that matter!? NO!!!! It is I!, Vern!
Turns out this had all been Vern's April Fools Day joke on everyone,
since Midnight, and, thus, LE, began Sunday April 1st. Azkath sicked EVD
on Vern's keeper, and told Just Joe to go downstairs right away and burn
the puppet, as they WERE NOT going to endure having to put up with Vern
ever again. Later, Vern's keeper was still demanding his puppet, Just
Joe claimed it was burning, and Azkath and Just Joe beat down the former
keeper of Vern and threw him down the stairs. Then EVD threw Just Joe
down the stairs. Vern's keeper was very distressed, claiming that he no
longer had a body, that they had killed his body. They explained to him
that he did have a body, he just no longer had a puppet, which was a
good thing that he should be happy about. He wasn't. At all. They told
him they would give him a name. And, after a bit of deliberation, they
decided on... Adam. That seemed to make the newly named Adam feel
better. TTTP was played. If a bullet played... They had a bag (heh heh,
heh heh, BAG!), a gigantic bag *snicker* and Just Joe would have to get
into this plastic bag and stay there for either the rest of the night,
or until he passed out. And, if a bullet didn't play, then Adam would
have to do this. And, in the certainty that Buckner And Garcia played,
then into the bag with EVD. (I'm sure they'd open the bag and liberate
anyone who passed out right away. I mean after getting food, eating
food, going to the bathroom, wallpapering and painting the entire place,
filling up the cars and washing and waxing them, upgrading all the
computers, feeding all the spiders, reorganizing all the music, and
about a hundred other urgent things, I'm sure they'd get right on that.)
No bullet. Although, there was something worth mentioning... A Muppets
song "Mah Na Mah Na Doo doo doo doo to ma namana doo doo doo doo"
played, and no one could figure out what that should mean. Since it's
been sung a lot by people on LE and MO, it didn't seem like it was a
bullet, but it still seemed like it should mean something. However, no
one could figure out just what that something should be, so they finally
decided to just restart the music. No bullet. So Adam, who, either due
to the loss of his puppet, or his newly acquired name, was now acting
more and more insane all the time, was put into the giant plastic bag.
Adam went walking around with the bag on, and fell down the stairs.
Which Just Joe really enjoyed, getting to see someone else fall down the
stairs for once. He found that highly amusing. There was a big bunch of
french fries there, and Just Joe began doing disgusting things to Adam
with the french fries, sticking them up his nose, down his pants, and
then finally he succeeded in doing what he'd been trying to do. He
inserted the french fry in, um, well up Adam's ass. Oh well, it would
have wound up there eventually anyways, all food we eat eventually winds
up there, so why not just cut right to the chase, skip the tiresome
eating part, and just put it where it's going to wind up anyways. We
should all start doing that with are food, it could save a lot of time.
Adam was walking around in the giant garbage bag, saying he was a scary
ghost, and saying nothing but wwwwoooooooooo wwwwooooooo woooooo
woooooooo!!!!, his idea of spooky ghost sounds, which weren't spooky at
all. He was also walking into walls and chairs, and making a mess. So
they decided to tie the bag shut around his feet. EVD attempted it
first, but he did a sucky job at it, as Adam's feet were out of the bag.
So Just Joe did it. and he did it right. Now THERE'S something I never
thought I'd ever be saying, and, no, it isn't an April Fools Joke, Just
Joe succeeded at a task where EVD's incompetence failed. Then Just Joe
must have done something, no doubt something even more disgusting,
because he managed to quiet Adam down, and then Adam kept saying "pork
chop sandwiches", but in a weird way, like pork chop sandwiches were
REALLY sexy. I don't even wanna know what Just Joe did to him to cause
that, don't even wanna think about it! The Feature Artist was 137's
performance from The Xtreme Soundscapes Show, August 11th, 2006. That
sounded great, rocked, and was great to hear... Next week... Will be the
Easter Sunday edition of LE, which means, of course, that it is a We
Love Satan Show... So tune in to hear what that will involve this year,
perhaps a visit from Satan, or The Easter Bunny, or both, or neither,
who knows, but something will definitely go on... But, you know... Upon
thinking about the earlier portion of this LE... I can't help thinking
that Preston (if he had really been Preston), was right in the things he
was saying (if he had really meant them, that is). I mean, what is all
this violence doing for society!? I'm sure it can't be good... And, the
anger and rage and darkness of the music. It surely isn't contributing
anything to the good of society, or helping to address the problems in
any way. And, really, beating people mercilessly just because they are
stupid?! (Not to mention taking advantage of their stupidity to play
mean tricks on them, because you know they will fall for it every time!)
I mean, they can't help it they're that way, we should be taking pity on
them and trying to help and protect them. And We Love Satan, how
wholesome is that?! And on Easter, no less! Yes, now that I think about
it, really think about it for the first time, I think LE and MO should
be truly ashamed of themselves. I know that I am deeply ashamed of
myself for participating in, condoning, trying to boost their cause, and
to help to promote it. I was corrupted by the evil, but I see how wrong
it is now, and so I QUIT! No more chat room, recaps, support bulletins
posted on myspace and Digg, or supplied shows if they were not available
to LE or MO for some reason, none of that from me any more! No one
should listen to either show!, and you should all join me in leaving!
Goodbye to all... APRIL FOOLS! Only kidding, of course, go on loving
both shows, do all you can to support them, I certainly will, I can't do
much, but whatever I can, I will do, and only wish it could be more!
Sorry, but LE has never fallen on April 1st since I've been here, and,
as it won't again for 6 years, the world will be over by then, so I just
couldn't let this day go by without my own joke, as I may never have
another chance. :) (I realize that, by the time you will be reading
this, it won't be April Fools Day, it will be past, but LE fell on that
day, and I'm writing this on that day, so, happy April Fools Day
anyways.) And to anyone out there who was overjoyed when they read that
I was leaving (I'm sure there were some), and are now dismayed... Sorry
for getting your hopes up and then dashing them... Not gone yet...
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Live Local Shows

Thu, April 12 – Fuul, Canandaigua
The Hounds Of Hell and LA Guns

Fri, April 13 – The Palm Gardens, Cortland
Space Farm 2600, The Loiterers, Setiva, Check Engine, and Ruination

Sat, April 14 – The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester
LA Guns

Sat, May 5 – The Penny Arcade, Rochester NY
Belladonna

Sat, May 12 – The Montage Music Hall, Rochester
Psyopus, BML, Fledgling Death, and Gaylord

Sat, May 12 – The Haunt, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Show
6 Finger, Zadoc and the Nightmare, Divinity Destroyed, and Dormitory Effect

Fri, May 18 - The Haunt, Ithaca
Xtreme Soundscapes Vol VII DVD Release Show
Bone Jar, 137, and If Man is Five
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Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: April 1, 2007
(R) = Requested

Background: Dr Who Soundtrack

Orphaned Land "Mercy - Live"
Dokken "Paris is Burning - Live"
Helloween "Save Us"
Carnival in Coal "Fall from Grace"
Type "O" Negative "Some Stupid Things"
Black Sabbath "Die Young"
Gwynbleidd "Lure of the Land"
The Great Luke Ski "It Takes Who"
Slayer "Criminally Insane"
Zadoc and the Nightmare "Bathory's Web"
Cradle of Filth "The Rape and Ruin of Angels (Hosonas in Excelsis)"
Machine Head "Slanderous"
Prototype "With Vision"
Virgin Black "Midnight's Hymn"
As Blood Runs Black "My Fears Have Become Phobia"
Dream Into Dust "Disconnected"
Daath "Above Lucium"
X-Prial "Fall into Oblivion"
Disbelief "It's Simply There"
Mendeed "Blood Brothers"
The Locust "Doing the unnecessary..."
Me First and the Gimme Gimme's "Ghost Rider's in the Sky"
Worm Quartet "I Want to be taken Seriously as an Artist"
Antigama "Remembering Nothing"
The Fabulous Dung Beatles "Jesus was Bi-Curious"
Tommie Griggz "I Am as Your Were Am You"
Black Casket "Black Blood"
Intense "You Die Today"
Rotting Christ "Nemecic"
Middian "The Celebrant"
Coffee Inc. "Ricki Lake"
BCT "Some Kind of Douchebag / Douchebag #2"
Architect "The Awakening"
In This Moment "He Said Eternity"
Rabid "War Machine"
Robot Goes Here "What All the Screamings About"
D0dheimsgard "Apocalypticsim"

** RUSSIAN ROULETTE TRIBUTE TO THE PAST SET **
Angkor Wat "Innocence '89"
Monster Magnet "Baby Gotterdamerung"
Overkill "Shred"
The Muppets "Mah Nah Mah Nah"
Rage "Talk to Grandpa"
Mortal Sin "Into the Fire"
Ludichrist "Immaculate Deception"
Hammerfall "The Dragon Lies Bleeding"

Project: Failing Flesh "Unsight Unseen / Eye of Demise"
Skyclad "Earth Mother, The Sun, and The Furious Host"
Korova "A Kiss in the Charnal Fields"
Silent Scream of Godless Elegy "Flowers Fade Away"
Suicidal Tendencies "How Will I Laugh Tomorrow... (Heavy Emotion Version)"
Desecration "When the Heart Stops Beating..."
Big Business "Another Fourth of July... Ruined"
Sonic Reign "To Rebel and To Fail"
Acid Bath "Cassie Eats Cockroaches"
Drive "Pandilla"
Mindwarp Chamber "Twilight Exit"
Dew Scented "That's Why I Despise You"
Moonsorrow "Jaasta Syntynyt / Born of Ice"
The Great Luke Ski "My Name is not Merv Griffin"
I Suffer Inc. "Blood for Blood"
Worm Quartet "Adventures in Creative Nostril Swallowing (A Tribute to
Plants that Suck)"
Divinty Destroyed "Forever and Never"
Tom Smith "Hyperspace Cryogenic Insomnia Blues"

Feature Artist: 137 Live from The Haunt, XS Show, August 11, 2006