The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - December 29, 2007
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Metallic Onslaught - 89.7FM Geneva, NY / 88.1FM in Ithaca, NY
Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time
www.MetallicOnslaught.TheLastExit.org - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost - WVBR 93.5 FM / East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca, NY
Saturday's at Midnight till 6am Sunday - Eastern Time
www.TheLastExit.org - www.WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests during the show to: LastExit@...
AIM: LastExitLost666

Video Recaps and More: www.Youtube.com/lastexitlost
Divx Stage 6:
http://stage6.divx.com/The-Last-Exit-for-The-Metallic-Onslaught
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Notes from Azkath

Tonight on The Last Exit, well, I believe it will be the first ever
LEmy's, where we give out some awards. And we really should follow up on
what that phone call from the future was all about last week. The
feature artist at 5am will be Vicious Rumors...

** Recaps from Fire Eater Wizard **

On The Metallic Onslaught:

It was the Christmas Show, lots of Christmas metal and comedy Christmas
songs along with regular metal. Santa was there, making his yearly
visit, and there was an elf. Santa's hat was what was in Jeffie's pants.
then a phone, and a boot. Jeffie had everyone pose for sexy Christmas
pictures. He played his version of a Christmas song on the bongos. And,
of course, what would Christmas be without lots of brawling...

On The Last Exit For The Lost:

It was The 5th Pre Anniversary End Of The World Show. In addition to the
regular hosts and co-hosts, Gorgar, Rub Mc'Groin, Chris from the band
Castle Bravo, and, Handy, The Hand Puppet Of Doom were there. Apparently
Handy is rotting and falling apart, as he kept talking about how many
new holes he has in him. Dave kept lifting his shirt and showing
everyone his fat belly and huge nipples. In the spirit of the holiday
season, they had a festive crown of thorns, actually made of red barbed
wire, but a festive holiday symbol nonetheless. Because of the way TTTP
turned out, Dave got the honor and privilege of wearing it. EVD snapped
due to the run of bad luck he's been having, and because he didn't like
his Christmas present, a Rob Zombie CD. He kidnapped Dave, held him
hostage and threatened to do horrible things to him. When no one seemed
to care if they got the hostage back, EVD and Dave took over the show.
When Dave played Rob Zombie, EVD killed him. Using a spell from The
Necronomicon, Rub resurrected him. However, he was resurrected as Santa
Claus, (complete with the ho ho ho's (so sorry to all girls for the use
of the word "ho", but in this case it refers to Santa's laugh, not
whores) and a loud bell which he wouldn't stop ringing), and so got
killed again. Or at least they tried, but Santa doesn't die, so everyone
beat the crap out of him, and then nailed him to a cross. Gorgar took
great pleasure in nailing Santa to the cross, as he became enraged when
he recalled that Santa has deer, 9 of them. The proper use of The
Necronomicon brought the real Dave back. Just Joe got thrown down the
stairs, and trapped down there when the barbed wire was strung across
the bottom of the stairs. Good thing for him it's winter time, and so no
spiders, this should be remembered for when it is warm weather and there
will be spiders down there. Wait... Isn't that mixing up the holidays??
Crown of thorns? Nailing to a cross? Resurrection? Don't those go with
Easter, not Christmas?? Oh well, who knows? This is an evil, metal show,
so what do we know about these holidays?? So I'm probably wrong anyways.
And, in the spirit of the holiday season, there were lots more beat
downs for Just Joe, Dave, and EVD. There was lots of seasonal music
played, Christmas metal, Christmas black metal, comedy Christmas songs.
And, for the background music, the most evil thing of all, The
Teletubbies, as this is a truly evil show. Just Joe got a call from
himself from the future, telling him how to stop the end of the world,
but he lost himself before he got that message, so it is still slated
for 5 years from now. All he got is darkness, no sun, and old ones. Oh,
and unspeakable horror and pain. The Feature Artist for this 5th Pre
Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show was Bathory. So,
everyone, enjoy your life, remember there is, at most, 5 years left in
it. Of course, you could always meet your demise in some unexpected,
horrible, slow and painful way before the scheduled end of the world in
2012, so, you may not even have that much time left in it. One never
knows, does one? HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! :)