The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - September 5, 2003
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time - 89.7FM
Metallic Onslaught Web Page - http://devoted.to/onslaught
WEOS Web Page - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost
Every Saturday Night at Midnight till 6am Sunday Morning - Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM - East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca
And you can tune in on-line...
The Last Exit for the Lost direct page: http://www.TheLastExit.org
WVBR Web Page: http://WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during the show:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________
If you want to be removed from this list, please just reply and let us know.
And feel free to pass this on to anyone who may find it interesting.

BANDS AND LABELS! IF YOU WANT YOUR NEWS OR SHOW DATES INCLUDED HERE - SEND
THEM ALONG!!!
_________________________________________________

Lots to cover in this week's e-mail. First, let's get back to last week's
shows. On The Metallic Onslaught, Jeffie: Version 2, died of SARS. On the
air of course. And Rick sang a happy song. That was a very strange thing
to behold. (A Picture of said song (and dance) is attached) As of now, I do
not think that there are any Jeffie clones left, although I can't be 100%
sure. He was making lots of them but most of them died pretty easy, and
then there was that ultra-annoying one that he brought with him a few weeks
ago, that he actually killed himself. Wow, there is a weird play of words
there. Anyway, I, The Demon Azkath, WILL NOT be making them another Jeffie
clone. If they can't take care of their Jeffie's, then they will have to be
without one. I will however be there tonight to explain this to them and
maybe help them select someone to take Jeffie's place...

Nothing much of note on The Last Exit last week, aside from a visit from
Shoebox, which was nice, especially since it's been so long since his last
appearance. We did play a new DuskMusik song last week, and I just wanted
to mention that all the songs that we have played from them are available
right now on MP3.com. Oh, and I almost forgot, Shoebox and his wife brought
us a Mini-Phil. That was weird...

Ok, now some other things. I have been working on adding a bunch of stuff
to the website. I do have now, I believe, all the interviews up from the
last few months. Crappy, The Iron Maidens, etc, right up to King Snyder,
The Plankboys, and Plan 607. Full interviews with music. Also, I have
added a section for Live Local Show listings. I hope to keep this as up to
date as possible. Also I have added a merchandise section. Right now, what
is there is simply the latest Best of The Last Exit for The Metallic
Onslaught CD, Volume 22. I by there, I mean you can go and listen
to/download the entire thing. I hope to get all the previous volumes up
soon, as well as all future ones. I will also be making actual CD's
available pretty much at cost in a short while. Also, I will be putting up
the Best of DVD/Videos. I won't be able to have them up for download in
anything but short clips, due to space constraints, but I will also make
those available at cost.

And also, I have fixed up the Aethyric Productions Occult Page, which you
can get to at Embark.to/Occult. If you have seen it before, there is
nothing really new yet, but soon as I have some new stuff written, it just
needs to be finished up a bit. I will also be adding a section for poetry
again. Maybe some Photography as well. Also, I will be putting up a page
for our movies as well soon, which star many of the characters from both
shows.

Other news, this will be of interst to local bands and anyone interested in
the local music scene; www.ithacashowsyndicate.org. This is an awesome page
for helping out the local music scene, and bands should get involved to help
themselves as well.

AND, finially, I think, I have started a Yahoo Group for local bands, to
help them get in touch with one another, trade off info, shows, whatever.
Anyone interested in being involved, go here;
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NEBandX

Ok, now, upcoming this weekend. Um, I don't exactly know. I will be on The
Metallic Onslaught. There is a definite Maybe concerning Shoebox's
appearance. On the other hand, on The Last Exit for the Lost, I have
absolutely NO IDEA what will be happening. You will have to tune in and
find out. I'm not even sure who the feature artist will be... Although I
am thinking of maybe Nightwish since they are playing NYC on Sunday... Now
they just need to play up this way. I will also likely be airing the
interview with Speedloader that I did back a few weeks ago.

And although I'm not sure what is happening this week, I can say this...
September 20th will be, on The Last Exit for The Lost, and Armageddon Show.
This being defined as... A bunch of special guests, and GIVEAWAYS! Lots of
giveaways. I hope. Still collecting stuff for this, and I'm not sure if it
will be a come and get it type of thing or not yet. Details will come...
_________________________________________________

--------- METAL UPDATE ---------
-- http://www.metalupdate.com --

The Metal Update will deliver a weekly report to your email inbox. To
sign up, go to MetalUpdate.com and click the SUBSCRIBE! link. The Metal
Update is free.

This week's Metal Update went out to over 13,795 subscribers.

-- NEWS --

CHILDREN OF BODOM
guitarist Roope Latvala (Sinergy, Stone) has been enlisted to fill the
void left by Alexander Kuoppala’s departure

CANCER
after seven years away from the scene, the UK Death Metal band has
recently reformed and have an EP coming out soon - the current lineup
consists of Carl Stokes (drums), John Walker (guitars / vocals), Rob
Engvikson (guitars) and Adders (bass)

LEAVES EYES
in the wake of her recent split with Theatre Of Tragedy, Liv Kristine has
announced that she has formed this new act with members of Atrocity

CRISIS
the band will enter the studio on September 11th with producer Billy
Anderson to record new material

GENERAL SURGERY
Johan Wallin (Repugnant, Scurvy) has joined the group as live second
guitarist

USURPER
original drummer Apocalyptic Warlord has returned to the fold replacing
session drummer Steve Sams

HOMO IRATUS
the band has morphed into a three piece in the wake of the departure of
vocalist Thomas personal and his own band's obligations - Angelos has
taken over main vocal duties supported by the growls of Alex

MORGUEAZM
drummer Brett Avok (Blood Money) suffered a minor heart attack – after
hospitalization, he is expected to make a full recovery - the recording of
the upcoming album "Multiple Morgueazms" is on hold

ARCH ENEMY
‘Anthems Of Rebellion’ landed at #26 on Billboard's Heatseekers Chart this
week and has become the most purchased album one week after release in the
history of Century Media’s existence

HAMMERHEART RECORDS
the label is folding, however owners Peter van Ool and Guido Heijnens have
decided to start a new label under the name Karmageddon Media – Plastic
Head Distribution will exclusively handle distribution for the new venture
and the Hammerheart artists and catalogue will move to Karmageddon

NEW SIGNINGS
Thorp Records: Madball
Razorback Records: Kutabare
Destro Records: Grotesqueuphoria
NotCommon Records: Phantom Limb
UnmatchedBrutality Records: Liturgy, Bloodchurn, Dead For Ten Weeks

-- HELP WANTED --

DRUMMER wanted - Circle Of Dead Children seek drummer for upcoming tour
with Today Is The Day and to work on future records - must relocate to the
Pittsburgh area, have equipment, a strong work ethic, and a love for
having fun & making music - no asshole attitudes, just good times &
grindcore – contact: newmedia@...

BASSIST & KEYBOARDIST wanted – black metal band in the Montreal, Quebec
area seeks solid bass player and an able keyboardist to complete lineup -
experience isn't necessary, but the right ability and understanding for
creating technical, emotional and brutal Black Metal is - must be ready
for serious possibilities – contact: unfallen72@...

GUITARISTS wanted - founding Shadows Of The Unseen members are looking to
resurrect lost spirits - seek lead and rhythm guitarists who can shred –
desire to play a mature blend of extreme metal that can best be explained
as death goes to Gothenburg with additional black and thrash influences -
serious inquires - no nu-metal fags – contact: Asouza3843@...

GUITARIST available - guitarist in the Champaign and or Chicago area –
formerly in Living Impaired (ME) / Of the Fallen (TX) / Fierce Atmospheres
(TX) - progressive metal and or extreme depending on the band - serious
only please – contact: austinotf@...

FEMALE VOCALIST available – vox seeks band in NYC area - if you know who
Karyn Crisis is, you know my general style - speed metalers / thrashers
need not apply – contact: firesofsorrow@...
_____________________________________________________

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Twisted Sister Vocalist Dee Snider Creates
VAN HELSING'S CURSE: A Soundtrack For Halloween

Musical Ghost Story Concept Album OCULUS INFERNUM
Set For October 7, 2003 Release on KOCH RECORDS

Future Plans Include Annual Live Performances

Halloween is one of the most widely celebrated holidays of the year. In
fact, Americans spent $6.9 billion on Halloween in 2002, making it the
country's second largest commercial holiday. While celebrated with costume
parties, trick-or-treating and horror movie marathons, the holiday has never
gotten its due in terms of popular music. Suffering the slings and arrows of
silly novelty singles and spooky sound effects albums, Halloween has lacked
any serious, thematic, mainstream musical work of substance. Until now. Van
Helsing's Curse presents Oculus Infernum, a musical ghost story destined to
be the soundtrack for Halloween.

Dee Snider, best known as the lead vocalist of the heavy metal band Twisted
Sister, is the creative force behind a new Halloween-themed musical project
called Van Helsing's Curse set to debut October 7, 2003 with the musical
ghost story concept album Oculus Infernum on KOCH Records. Snider, a
lifelong fan of horror, first made a foray into the genre with the
successful cult film StrangeLand and its accompanying soundtrack, which also
marked the singer's first foray into Billboard's Soundtrack chart.

"Van Helsing's Curse is not a band, it's a rock orchestra. It includes a
five-piece rock group, a six-piece string section and a six-piece choir. The
choir only sings chants in Latin. There are no lead vocals on Oculus
Infernum, just narration," Snider says.

The tracks on Oculus Infernum include "Patience," "Tubular Hell," "All Fall
Down," "Let Me Prey," "The Child," "The Tortured Soul," "Revenge," "War,"
"Let the Pain Begin" and "The Curse."

Snider created the concept and storyline and provides the narration for
Oculus Infernum, which is Latin for "eye of hell." Oculus Infernum tells a
complete story about an evil entity that descends upon a town and kills all
the adults. A now-orphaned boy seeks retribution and teams up with an old
man who is the direct descendant of vampire hunter Van Helsing (from Bram
Stoker's original Dracula novel) in order to fight the entity. Snider's
vision ultimately provides a disturbing look at the nature of evil, which is
summed up in a soliloquy at the finale of Oculus Infernum.

Musically speaking, Oculus Infernum is just as spine-chilling as the story.
Original compositions are woven among classical music pieces and selected
bits from familiar songs such as Mike Oldfield's haunting "Tubular Bells"
and Black Sabbath's shocking "Black Sabbath." For example, the single
"Tubular Hell" includes melodic bits of "Tubular Bells," original sections,
and themes from classics, like "Hall of the Mountain King." The swirling
blend of fierce and creepy music, Latin chants and Snider's dramatic
narration on Oculus Infernum results in an overwhelming listening
experience.

Snider has a list of goals for Van Helsing's Curse. He envisions people
making Van Helsing's Curse and 'Oculus Infernum' part of their Halloween
experience. Annual October tours by Van Helsing's Curse will encourage
audience participation such as dressing up in costume when attending the
concerts. "Ultimately, Van Helsing's Curse will be a full-scale touring
entity complete with spectacular special effects. It will be the sound and
vision of Halloween. A thrilling horror experience," says Snider. "The rock
musicians will be dressed in a goth style like Marilyn Manson-meets-Edward
Scissorhands, the string section will be dressed as (Interview With the
Vampire author) Anne Rice-style goths and the choir will be dressed in robes
to look like Druids."

This just scratches the surface of Snider's overall vision for the future of
Van Helsing's Curse. Expect Van Helsing's Curse and Oculus Infernum to
become Halloween institutions.

Says Snider, "The idea is for Van Helsing's Curse to be the soundtrack for
Halloween."

www.vanhelsingscurse.com
www.kochentertainment.com
_____________________________________________________

For Immediate Release:

SIX FEET UNDER Address Social Issues with 'Bringer Of Blood'
Promotional Events & Tour Scheduled

September 23rd will see the release of SIX FEET UNDER’s most ambitious
release to date, the ferocious Bringer Of Blood (through Metal Blade
Records). The disc, rampant with an infectious blend of jackhammer grooves
and pure aggressive immensity, fuses the band’s attraction to dark fantasy
as well as significant social commentary. Vocalist Chris Barnes expresses
(through songs like “Amerika The Brutal”, “My Hatred” and “Sick In The
Head”) an outrage in the direction our country is headed, due to
manipulation/misinterpretation of the Constitution.

“People are being ostracized in this country for free thought, and putting
Freedom Of Speech to the test at a time when it needs to be [like the Dixie
Chicks]; because there's something really wrong is happening out there, and
people need to be made aware of it,” Barnes admits. “And there should be
another opinion out there other than government-controlled media which is
sent through the airwaves and sent to everyone's homes through a little box
that they worship like some kind of religion. People shouldn't believe
everything you see on that piece of equipment.”

Living in Tampa, FL, Barnes is no stranger to government controversy, having
borne witness to the debacle of the last presidential election first-hand.
“I think possibly things would be different if [Al Gore] was in the White
House, because at the point when Bush ‘falsely’ won the election, the
stomach of the world dropped out. I think everyone outside this country was
affected in a different way (you know, the places that don't like us too
much - because they knew the guy's father and what he did during his
"reign"). I was here [in Tampa] when the election happened, and I couldn't
believe it. This was something that should have stopped the country
immediately and remedied it, because it wasn't right and wasn't truthful.
It happened in the state that was home to the guy's own brother…how obvious
is that??? Is it too bad to say something about that, like it wouldn't
happen? Come on, where else would it happen? It didn't happen in
California; it happened here where his brother's the governor. It's a shame
no one took notice of that and stood up for Al Gore; they all thought he was
nuts for continuing to talk about it, but why shouldn't he? This isn't a
democracy; the guy who was in office before wanted his son in office to
finish some business.”

An outspoken individual & advocate of personal freedom, Barnes is also a
longtime supporter of the marijuana reform organization, NORML, another
topic he feels VERY strongly about, due to its longstanding prohibition &
extreme government handling. “The pharmaceutical companies cannot patent
it, because tt's a naturally occurring substance; an herb. They can't
legalize it for medical purposes, because the pharmaceutical companies have
no way of making money off it.”

Some personal friends of mine are in prison for smoking marijuana; it's
outrageous! There should be [a branch of Amnesty International devoted to
this]; it's a g**damn human rights violation. They're only in there to
empower these pigs who are making money of it. They're building more
prisons for people with drug offenses more than murderers. Murder isn't
increasing that much, but people keep wanting to get high. That's just
something people want to do; they want to drink, smoke herb, and do whatever
they want to do to escape this world run by f***ed-up republicans. Police
don't stake out your local bar on a Friday night and wait for people to
leave and catch them for drunk driving; they could catch millions of people
every month across the country who are possibly killing people with their
cars! That's okay, but people who smoke herb are being put in jail for a
long time, and released in a lot worse condition.”

Not one to blindly rant, Barnes backs his opinions with a possible solution
to the problem. “Reform should begin with overturning all drug charges,
release all prisoners who are nonviolently incarcerated; they have to
legalize marijuana for medical purposes, as well as all drugs for
recreational purposes (with state involvement). If the state wants to run
it, the model should be Amsterdam. There's been a permanent prohibition on
marijuana and it hasn't turned the world upside down, because anyone smoking
herb is basically a mellow person who just wants to be left alone and isn't
going to stir up any trouble. People in a bar sometimes fight; people in a
coffee shop smoke herb, talk to each other and express themselves. It's a
wonderful thing; it invokes feelings and forces you to feel. If you go to a
bar, people get violent, get into fights, and get in their cars and kill a
little girl walking across the street. People high on weed just want to
chill, and that's why there hasn't been an uprising. If alcohol was made
illegal, there'd be an uprising, because there'd be a bunch of alcoholic
deviants causing trouble. I just can't deal with the whole hypocrisy as to
why one thing is legal and more harmful, and the other thing is illegal and
many people suffering for it.”

SIX FEET UNDER will be promoting the release of Bringer Of Blood starting
Friday, August 29th & Sunday, August 31st with a special screening of "Six
Feet Underground", the documentary film about the extreme metal scene,
featuring the band at the Chicago Underground Film Festival. Directed by
Deron Grams, the documentary will be featured as a DVD bonus feature on the
Bringer Of Blood album.

The band will then headline the James Murphy Benefit concert at the Venom
Night Club in St. Petersburg, FL on September 6th. All proceeds from the
show will be used towards paying the mounting medical bills of former
Testament/Death/Obituary guitarist James Murphy, who is receiving treatment
for a massive brain tumor with which he was diagnosed in August 2001.

Then, SIX FEET UNDER will embark on a monstrous North American tour in
October. Dates and support acts will be announced soon.

An mp3 for the band’s socio-politically charged single “Amerika The Brutal”
is available for download here:
http://www.metalblade.com/bands/Six_Feet_Under/SFU-AmerikaTheBrutal.mp3

www.sfu420.com
www.metalblade.com
____________________________________________________________

THE END RECORDS

Below is our latest updates. Please help spread the word:

Our latest sampler is almost ready and will be available September 2nd,
2003.

PHASES: The Dark Side Of Music
TE041

Tracklisting:

THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
1 : The Gathering - Broken Glass
2 : Antimatter - The Art Of A Soft Landing
3 : Ulver - Vowels
4 : Agalloch - A Fragment
5 : Star Of Ash - Death Salutes Atropos

THE DARK SIDE OF THE EARTH
6 : Sculptured - Suspiria
7 : Virgin Black - And The Kiss Of God's Mouth
8 : Nightingale - Shadowman
9 : Madder Mortem - Jigsaw (The Pattern and the Puzzle)
10 : In The Woods - Heart Of The Ages (Live) (in association with
Karmakosmetix)

THE DARK SIDE OF THE UNDERWORLD
11 : Enslaved - Queen Of Night
12 : Frantic Bleep - Fluctuadmission
13 : Darkthrone - Divided We Stand (in association with Moonfog)
14 : Epoch Of Unlight - Caught In The Unlight
15 : Scholomance - Goodbye Song

====================================================
THE GATHERING on vinyl.
We are proud to announce that we will be releasing the "Souvenirs" on double
gatefold vinyl (IVS004). It will be limited to 1,000 copies and expected
release date is November.
====================================================
ANTIMATTER has a new official site:
http://www.antimatter.tk

Other sites:
http://www.antimatter.best.cd French site
http://antimatter.rockmetal.art.pl Polish site
http://users.pandora.be/antimatter Dutch/Belgian site

Also, work on Antimatter's third album is in process with a possible January
2004 recording. There is no title as of yet but some confirmed song titles
are -
A Portrait Of The Young Man As An Artsit
Epitaph
Full Of Fear
Fighting For A Lost Cause
The next album is expected to take an unusual slant on Antimatters sound
canvass.
====================================================
Coming soon:
In The Woods "Live At The Caledonien Hall" (TE040)
Katatonia "Viva Emptiness" Gatefold LP (IVS003)
______________________________________________________________

FEMME FATALE SIGN WITH Z RECORDS:

Z Records are proud to announce the signing of Femme Fatale for the
release of their second album.

The band where formed in their hometown of Albuquerque, New Mexico
and consist of Lorraine Lewis (vocals), Mazzi Rawd (guitar), Bill
D'Angelo (guitar), Rick Rael (bass and Lewis' brother) and Bobby
Murray (drums). Shortly after forming they picked up and moved to Los
Angeles amid the late eighties glam explosion.


Fueled by Lorraine's megawatt performances, Femme Fatale signed to
MCA Records just months after their L.A. debut. The band's self-
titled debut album yielded two popular videos, including "Waiting for
the Big One," and the top 10 MTV requested "Falling In & Out of
Love." The band toured with Cheap Trick and scored soundtrack slots
for the film "License to Drive," "Don't tell mom the babysitter is
dead" and the TV series "MacGyver."

July 2003 and after months of negotiations Lorraine signs with Z
Records for the release of the bands shelved second album, the album
is at present untitled and will be released during early 2004.

Lorraine made the following comment:

"Finally...Femme Fatale's second record will see the light of day
thanks to Mark at Z Records!! I'm very excited that Femme Fatale
friends and fans will get a chance to hear what they missed, even if
it has been a while...this stuff ROCKS!!"....Lorraine Lewis

And everyone here at Z Records can confirm that the forthcoming album
does indeed kick ass !

WWW.ZRECORDS.NET
_________________________________________________

Majestic Rock release two classic Heavy Pettin' albums this month:
Scotland's Heavy Pettin` released two hard rockin` but remarkably polished
albums for Polydor in the early 80`s. The first, Lettin' Loose, was produced
by Queen's Brian May was to set the band's stall out admirably. At the time,
the band sat shoulder-to-shoulder with Def Leppard as the British hard rock
act `most likely to...` Well, we all know how that story ends.
Tracks like In And Out Of Love and Hell Is Beautiful are prime slabs of 80`s
melodic hard rock. Follow up Rock Ain't Dead proved to be something of a
mission statement for the band, who by now where garnering a fair amount of
interest stateside. Both albums are bolstered by the inclusion of two bonus
tracks apiece previously only available as single b-sides.
______________________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: August 31, 2003
(R) = Requested

Background: Le'Rue Delashay "The Law of 8ve"

Sack Trick "Antartica / Penguins on the Moon"
Zyklon "No Name Above the Names"
Edge of Sanity "The Silent Threat"
Norther "Everything is an End"
Dimmu Borgir "Progenies of the Great Apocalypse"
Silent Stream of Godless Elegy "We Shall Go"
Julie Laughs No More "From the Mist of Ruins"
Boiler "Tastes Like More" (R)
King Snyder "Ultra Mindless"
Green Carnation "Crushed to Dust"
Battlelore "Sword's Song"
Spider Rockets "Nothing Left"
A Day Without Rain "Fire in My Eyes"
Sepultura "Piranha"
The Purrs "Hellish Nightmare"
The Plankboys "Bottom of a Bottle"
Avenged Sevenfold "Chapter Four"
Blind Guardian "Welcome to Dying - Live"
Rage "Secrets in the Weird World"
Worm Quartet "Dear God"
Plan 607 "Wake Up in your Grave"
Loopus "Purify"
Never the Sunshine "Drag the Water"
The Witching "Let Us Drown"
Randy "Man in Uniform"
Moonsorrow "Tuulen Tytar Incl. Soturin Tie"
Lucifer "Desire in Violent Overture"
User Ne "An Mis Theimous"
Sopor Aeturnus and the Ensemble of Shadows "Dead Souls"
Worm Quartet / Coffee Inc. "Let's Make Fun of the Amish"
Cage "Chupacabra"
Rammstein "Zwitter" (R)
Thyrane "Phantasmal Paranoia"
Arch Enemy "Instinct"
Angra "Millenium Sun"
Worm Quartet "Eat Here and Die"
Punch Drunk Monkeys "Don't Ask Me"
Theatres Des Vampires "Pale Religious Letchery"
DuskMusik "Everybody Loves Me"
SoulDrain "Broken Debris"
DuskMusik "I No"
Dimmu Borgir "For the World to Dictate Our Death"
Mercury Tide "This Never Ending Dreaming"
Annihilator "Crystal Ann / Alison Hell - Live"
Bouncing Souls "Sing a Long Forever"
Spoken "Across These Waters"
The Queers "Born to Do Dishes"
Nora "That's a Good Licking Machine"
Sick of It All "All My Blessings"
Introspect "Know Your Rights"
Worm Quartet "Road Bliss"
Pissing Razors "Hanging on the Cross"
Daughters "Damn Those Blood Suckers and Their Good Qualities"
Alexisonfire "Little Girls Pointing and Laughing"
Matt Smith "Tribute to St. Anger"
Duskmusik "Cave"
Killing Joke "Asteroid"
KMFDM "Anarchy"

Feature Artist: Shotgun Messiah / Tim Skold
Chaos (Skold)
Monkey Needs (SM - Violent New Breed)
Dead God (Skold - Demo)
Nobody's Home (SM - Second Coming)
Neverland (Skold)
The Explorer (Shotgun Messiah)
Living Without You (SM - Second Coming)
Search And Destroy (SM - I Want More EP)
Burn (Skold - Demo)
Jihad (SM - Violent New Breed)
Side FX (SM - Violent New Breed)
Remember (Skold)
Revolution (SM - Violent New Breed)
All Dies (Skold - Neverland EP)
I Come in Peace (SM - Violent New Breed))
_____________________________________________

TOP STRANGE STORIES OF THE WEEK

------------------ Can You Hear Me Now? --------------------

A Brazilian man went to a clinic to have an ear ache checked
..and ended up having a vasectomy. After mistakenly belie-
ving that the doctor called his name, Valdemar Lopes de
Moraes entered the vasectomy room when Aldemar Aparecido
Rodrigues name was called. He didn't ask any questions when
the doctor began preparations in the area which had nothing
to do with his ear. He later said that he thought the ear
inflammation had spread to his testicles. De Moraes did not
want to reverse the operation and went back for his ear exam
at the same clinic.
__________________________________________________

* As straphanger Joyce M. Judge, 42, stared out the window of the
Boston subway car during morning rush hour on July 30, she
started dripping profusely, and a minute or so later, a baby fell out
from underneath her skirt and slid around on the car's floor.
According to witnesses (some of whom vomited at the sight),
Judge at first acted as if nothing had happened, then finally picked
up her newborn, declined the help of passengers, nonchalantly
continued the ride, and left the train at the next station (stopping
only to pick up the placenta when it fell to the ground). She
subsequently reported to Boston Medical Center, where the baby
was in good condition (and where the mother was referred for a
mental health evaluation).
__________________________________________________

* ABC News reported in May that it is not illegal in Massachusetts
for a man to take surreptitious photographs of his adult daughter in
the family home, even though in "hundreds" of the photos, she is
nude or partially nude. The Easthampton, Mass., woman was 19
when she moved back into her old bedroom, where her father had
been keeping electronic equipment, but later got a tech-savvy friend
to examine a camera and computer. The parents are now divorced,
but since the father committed no crime, he got to keep the photos.
___________________________________________________

--------------- Releasing His Inner Child ------------------

PINCONNING, Mich. -- Police didn't have much trouble catch-
ing an accused thief as he fled the scene in a child size
All Terrain Vehicle. In fact, not only was it a child's toy
that could barely carry his weight, it ran out of gas, the
Bay City Times reported. The man is accused of breaking into
a neighbor's shed to steal a gallon of gasoline to power the
tiny ATV, which he drove to a nearby party store, while drag-
ging a bag of empty bottles he had planned on redeeming for
cash. The suspect parked his tiny vehicle in some weeds and
went into the store, where he allegedly took a bottle of
beer and drank it in the restroom, police said. Store emplo-
yees called police, who spotted him as he emerged from the
weeds on his tiny four-wheeler. The suspect was charged with
breaking and entering and shoplifting.
_________________________________________________

--------------------- What a Relief ------------------------

WELLINGTON, New Zealand -- Some of life's experiences are
best not talked about -- such as a man being trapped for 18
hours inside a women's toilet. The Wellington Dominion Post
reported the unidentified man answered "nature's call" Sat-
urday evening but found the men's public toilet near the
Petone Public Library was locked. So he used the women's
toilet. The problem arose when a night watchman locked the
toilet door, unaware the man was inside. It wasn't until
the next afternoon -- 18 hours later -- that passersby heard
his cries for help and bolt-cutters were used to release
him. A police official told the Post the man was quite
"relieved" to get out but not too keen about discussing his
experience.
___________________________________________

-------------- An Unforgettable Wedding Night --------------

An unruly wedding guest bit off part of a man's finger dur-
ing a reception in Corunna, Michigan last Friday. Michael
VanStrate, an invited guest, caused altercations and argu-
ments with several of the guests. Although he was asked to
leave several times, he kept coming back. After smearing
cake on a 9-year-old boy's face, the boy's father came to
his rescue and had his finger bitten off during the strug-
gle. The bridgroom then intervened. Police said that Van-
Strate later elbowed a 49-year-old woman, temporarily
knocking her out. He was arraigned Monday on two counts of
assault, one count of aggravated assault and one count of
simple assault. He remained in custody after District Judge
Ward Clarkson set bond at $25,000. Doctors were able to re-
attach the guest's finger that was bitten off in the scuf-
fle.
___________________________________________

Japan Spotted Hovering Over Algeria
www.theonion.com
ALGIERS, ALGERIA—Japan continued to vex the world Monday, as numerous
eyewitnesses saw the exotic and mysterious Pacific Rim country hovering over
the mountainous coastal regions of Algeria. "I noticed it up there around
noon," said Ahmed Boumediènne, a farmer whose land lay in the 1,744-mile
shadow temporarily cast by the floating archipelago. "The schoolchildren
were having a great time waving at it. But, when I came out after lunch, it
was gone again. Must have moved on." Boumediènne added that no one was
threatened by Japan's serene presence. As of press time, the Japanese
islands were back in the Pacific Ocean.
___________________________________________

Mississippi Judge Ordered to Remove
Twelve-foot Burning Cross From Courthouse
By Brian Briggs
BBSpot.com

Jackson, MS - Judge Clinton Marburger continued his refusal to comply with
a federal court ruling which ordered him to remove a twelve-foot tall
burning cross from his courtroom.

The state faces fines and loss of federal funding if the cross is not
removed before Friday at midnight.

"The cross is a symbol of God which is the moral basis for our laws," said
Judge Marburger. "It's not endorsing any particular form of religion. All
Christian denominations recognize the cross as an important symbol, so it
really shouldn't be an issue."

"Furthermore," continued Judge Marburger, "the cross in my courtroom
symbolizes the sacrifice that we all make in meting out justice, and the
flames symbolize the warm feelings we have for all those who pass through
our doors. Who could object to that?"

Supporters of Judge Marburger held hands on the courthouse steps and sang
choruses of "Amazing Grace" and "My Mammy" during an overnight, cross-light
vigil.

"Everyone knows that Jesus died on the cross, so why wouldn't we want to
burn it? I mean would Jesus want to come back and see all these crosses
around? I don't think he would want to be reminded of that time," questioned
Tom Hayder, a supporter from Biloxi.

Other supporters wondered when the separation of church and state madness
would end. Cheryl White from Jackson worried, "First they forbid the ten
commandments in Alabama, now our burning cross in Mississippi. Next thing
you know, they'll want to stop the re-enactments of the crucifixion during
sentencing that the court in Texas does?"

The perpetually burning cross was installed late one night in July, and met
with immediate objections from Civil Rights groups who decried it as a
hateful symbol of racism and intolerance.

"Those people just don't understand," retorted Marburger. "When I make
rulings in my courtroom, I take no consideration into the race or religious
affiliation of the unseemly heathen, mostly black defendants in my
courtroom."

A federal court ruled that not only did the burning cross promote a
religion, but that Judge Marburger was "out of his fucking mind and should
be removed from the bench with extreme prejudice."
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...