The Last Exit for the Metallic Onslaught - September 12, 2003
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Metallic Onslaught - Friday's 9pm - 2am Eastern Time - 89.7FM
Metallic Onslaught Web Page - http://devoted.to/onslaught
WEOS Web Page - www.weos.org
Request Line: (315) 781-3897

The Last Exit for the Lost
Every Saturday Night at Midnight till 6am Sunday Morning - Eastern Time
WVBR 93.5 FM - East Hill 105.5 FM - Ithaca
And you can tune in on-line...
The Last Exit for the Lost direct page: http://www.TheLastExit.org
WVBR Web Page: http://WVBR.Com
Request Line: (607) 273-2121
E-mail Requests to: LastExit@...

Chat Room during the show:
http://pub6.bravenet.com/chat/show.php?usernum=450982834&cpv=1
_________________________________________________
If you want to be removed from this list, please just reply and let us know.
And feel free to pass this on to anyone who may find it interesting.

BANDS AND LABELS! IF YOU WANT YOUR NEWS OR SHOW DATES INCLUDED HERE - SEND
THEM ALONG!!!
_________________________________________________

Attached is a picture of B.P. who was interviewed on The Metallic Onslaught
last week. He is seen posing with Lance. B.P. didn't say much, but
apparently talks to Joe all day at work. He did, pose for a good number of
pictures which will be on the website soon...

Upcoming this week, Shoebox will be back on The Onslaught, I think. I
should be there, probably, as well. At least at some point.

On The Last Exit... Um... We may have the Plankboys up, and maybe A Day
Without Rain, but I have no confirmation on either yet. The plan for the
former, at least, is to maybe have them on the end of Ithaska first, then on
the beginning of Last Exit, so we will see what happens. I think the
feature artist this week will be Holy Terror, and old late 80's thrash band
that was greatly underated. However, since they only have 2 albums, it will
likely be a slightly shorter set of music...

Next week is the big week. Don't miss it The Last Exit's new Armageddon
Show... We will be doing giveaways, of all kinds of cool stuff, we will
have some special guests, some of whom it has been a very long time for, and
some fun things going on. Really, it should hopefully be one of the coolest
shows ever...
_________________________________________________

--------- METAL UPDATE ---------
-- http://www.metalupdate.com --

The Metal Update will deliver a weekly report to your email inbox. To
sign up, go to MetalUpdate.com and click the SUBSCRIBE! link. The Metal
Update is free.

This week's Metal Update went out to over 13,720 subscribers.

-- NEWS --

NEVERMORE
Steve Smyth (Testament, Dragonlord) will be handling second guitar duties
on the ‘Enemies Of Reality’ European Tour with special guests Arch Enemy

FRAMESHIFT
this new project will feature James LaBrie (Dream Theater) “in ways that
no one has heard him before” – the debut album ‘Unweaving The Rainbow’
will combine the elements of progressive rock, film scoring and very
modern production

SKINLAB
plans to go on hiatus are apparently on hold as the band has picked up
several dates on the Jagermeister sponsored Slayer tour including
Hatebreed and Arch Enemy among others – the group will utilize the skills
of guitarist Scott Sargent reuniting the lineup featured on ‘Disembody:
The New Flesh’

CENTINEX
drummer Kennet Englund has left the band – the search for a replacement is
underway

THEORY OF A DEADMAN
guitarist Zakk Wylde (Ozzy, Black Label Society) has been drafted to help
the band write new material

SEBASTIAN BACH
taking a break from Broadway, the former Skid Row screamer is back with
new act Bach Tight 5 featuring: guitarist Adam Albright (Skinlab,
Dopesick), bassist Cheeze (Black Bone, Dead Tight 5), guitarist Randall X
Rawlings (Dead Tight 5) and drummer Mike Dover (Dead Tight 5)

WINTERS BANE
according to a statement by Powergod’s Riff Randall, drummer Haan Hartmann
(Powergod, Tracelords) has not joined Winters Bane

HEADBANGER’S BALL
the MTV show is going on the road as sponsor of major tour featuring
Shadows Fall, Killswitch Engage and Lamb of God – the Ball will also be
releasing a two CD set on Roadrunner Records: one CD will consist of big
names that have broken out of the underground scene and the other will
represent the current underground climate

VELVET REVOLVER
the new supergroup has signed an exclusive recording agreement with RCA
Records – the band features: Stone Temple Pilots vocalist Scott Weiland,
former Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash, bassist Duff McKagan, drummer Matt
Sorum and guitarist Dave Kushner from Dave Navarro's Band – the band’s
debut is due in 2004

SLAYER
guitarist Kerry King is launching a clothing line under the banner of a
new company called KFK Industries

NEW SIGNINGS
Season Of Mist: Mayhem
Nuclear Blast: Ektomorf
Listenable Records: Horned God
Spikefarm: Moonsorrow
Hook-N-Mouth Records: SAQ
Sanctuary Records: Kelly Osbourne

-- HELP WANTED --

DRUMMER wanted – ex Black Dahlia Murder bassist Dave Lock and vocalist
Trevor Strnad and ex Kalibas member Jody Roberts seek drummer for full
time death metal project - influences include: Malevolent Creation,
Monstrosity, Hate Eternal, ‘Divine Intervention’ era Slayer - drummer must
be able to blast and have tremendous double bass skills – must be willing
to tour extensively, record and all of the other Metal Blade trimmings -
no drugs - must relocate to Michigan - contact:
unearthlyshadow@...

BASSIST wanted - Houston, TX based black/death act Crimson Massacre seeks
bassist – influences: Emperor, Dissection, Angelcorpse, Zyklon, Absu,
Cryptopsy, Dimmu Borgir, Morbid Angel - must be willing to devote majority
of time to band and chip in for expenses – contact:
crimsonmassacre@...

VOCALIST wanted - Massachusetts death metal band Despoilment seeks
charismatic frontman with a "traditional" death metal vocal style (think
Glen Benton, David Vincent, Frank Mullen) - must have the following: job,
transportation, PA, high-energy stage presence, good attitude - stage and
studio experience is a plus as is ability to write lyrics - rehearse in
Worcester, MA – contact: acephalus@...

BASSIST wanted – Baltimore, MD death metal band Dwelling Madness seeks
bassist with vocal ability – band is signed – contact:
gauntlet26@...

DRUMMER wanted – Boston area’s 9 volt Gimmick seeks drummer asap - play
around Boston area and practice in Allston - we are a noise rock band ie:
Melvins, etc. – contact: stabwoundvivisection@...
_______________________________________________________________

WORM QUARTET UPDATE AND BLATANT PLUG - 9/08/03

Howdy or some crap! Hope you guys are all feeling
like rich buttery walrus nuggets in a pool of runny
yogurt!

My gawd I've got some BIG freakin' shows coming
up...check it out!!

UPCOMING SHOWS NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
September 26-28 - Merrillville, Indiana

My first ever convention show!

THE GREAT LUKE SKI
SUDDEN DEATH
WORM QUARTET
TONY GOLDMARK
Plus a bunch of other freakin' people

@ "To Be CONtinued 2"
Sci-Fi & Comedy/Filk music convention
@ the Radisson Star Plaza
Merrillville, Indiana

More info & reservations at www.2becontinued.com

Not sure what day or what time I'm playing yet...
I'll let ya know when I do.

--

September 30th - Ithaca, NY

Holy CRAP, how the hell did I get this show?!?

(drum roll)

THE PIETASTERS
VOODOO GLOW SKULLS
RIVER CITY REBELS
WORM QUARTET

@ Castaways
413 Taughannock Blvd.
Ithaca, NY
(607)272-1370

$8 in advance, $10 at the door
Visit www.castawaysithaca.com for more info

--

October 4th - Ithaca, NY again

"ROCK THE VOTE" BENEFIT

More info soon...


NEW STUFF NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Recording for the new album is finally COMPLETE!
Now I get to work on finishing up the mixing, as
well as legal stuff, liner notes, and all that
fun crap. Still not sure what to announce as far
as a release date, but dammit, I said I'd be done
recording by the end of the summer, and I recorded
the final song on August 29th, so I didn't lie,
dammit!!

The cover art is being done by the amazing Dave
Woodson. Some of his contributions to the world
can be seen at http://www.sugarqube.com

A few sample mp3s will be available in a week or
two, so shake with anticipation like a weiner dog
who needs to take a leak! Come on!! SHAKE!!!!

ODOR NEWS
=-=-=-=-=
My cat was sitting on my shoulder earlier, so my
shoulder smells like my cat's ass. The rest of
me seems to smell okay, so if you run into me at
some point today before I take a shower (which is
unlikely since I plan to spend most of the day in
my basement,) try not to smell my shoulder.

(NOTE: I wrote this Odor News on Saturday
morning. I don't spend Mondays in my basement,
I spend them in a cubicle.)

RECENT SHOW STUFF NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Recent things that have happened at shows that I
haven't really said anything about, so I'll get
long-winded about a few of 'em now:

- Played my first-ever NYC-area show in Brooklyn.
Didn't venture far from the place I was playing.
Determined that Brooklyn looks like smallish
bar. My friend Mary had a rather long
conversation with an old guy who hated my set
and everyone else's as well, and longed for the
days of real music, spefically the Bee Gees.
Mary agreed with him so he'd keep buying her
drinks. Met an online friend named Petey who
didn't kill or rape me. Was pleased by this.
Got to meet the ever-existent Jim Testa of
Jersey Beat ( http://www.jerseybeat.com ) who
has personally met and/or slept with every punk
icon you've ever heard of. He made me waffles
and coffee, and for this I will always remember
him.

- Got heckled for the first time ever at a show
in Syracuse at the ever-wonderful Planet 505
(where I was once again blessed to perform
with the niftykeen Anything But Pleased and
the punker-than-Sid-Vicious's-turds Shock
Nagasaki.) Wasn't sure how to react to this.
Generally being a 6'4" 300-lb. bemulleted freak
on a stage screaming about yak aquariums and
procreation carries with it a built-in "Do Not
Disturb" sign, but this did not dissuade a
rather insistent pair of clearly-high gentlemen
(in clothing stolen from the Fresh Prince Of
Bel Air collection) from loudly discussing my
suckitude. ("Booo," I believe, was the exact
wording of their comments.) When one of them,
after a scream of "take his mic away," jumped
on stage during my heartfelt rendition of "Too
Fat For The Pit" and attempted to scream over
me on the second microphone (which was off,)
Syracuse's last action hero Scott Dixon
escorted the pair from the premises. Of
course, it wasn't 'til AFTER the fact that I
came up with what would've beeen a perfect
comeback to the hecklings ("Hey! Shut up!"
Man...that would've shown 'em...) but I shall
endeavor to be prepared (read: armed) in case
such an event should transpire again. The show
went over very well otherwise...lots of kind
words from people, and lots of people who'd
seen me last time I played Planet 505 came back
to see me again, which is cool as hell. Oh,
and I got a $20 parking ticket which was bogus.
They got me for "Parking on wrong side November-
February," which really isn't a valid thing to
ticket someone for in AUGUST. But I couldn't
fight it without taking a day off work to drive
back to the 'Cuse, so Syracuse gets my $20.
Maybe they'll use it to buy a CALENDAR!!

- Played a show in Connecticut with Coffee Inc.
and Far From Home for a few people who enjoyed
me, a few friends (Ted, Eddie, and Tristan of
the ever-nifty Bob squad,) and a bunch of
hippies that decided it would be more fun to
hang out in the parking lot than actually come
in and watch a show. Small crowd, but I got to
play "Triks" and "Let's Make Fun Of The Amish"
with Coffee Inc. backing me up. Very very very
fun stuff. Also, Coffee and his wife got to
see a hippie peeing in the woods. I wasn't
jealous.

COFFEE INC. NEWS
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Currently finishing up the mixing on Coffee Inc.'s
upcoming debut CD, "Benefits Of Society." Pics
and more should be available soon at:
http://www.flamingmayo.com/coffeeinc

Enough information for you!! Go do stuff! Thanks
as always for supporting my crap...you guys are
keenoriffic beyond words. Except for the word
"conquistador." Nobody is keenoriffic beyond that.

Knitting a scarf out of weasels and mucas,
-=ShoEboX=-

--
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
Check out the offical Worm Quartet page for
WQ news, history, merchandise, and music!
http://www.wormquartet.com
*WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ-WQ*
_________________________________________________________

For Immediate Release:

KMFDM Explodes with WWIII
Album Released September 23rd through Sanctuary Records

Band Launches North American Tour in October

KMFDM, the ardent guardians of the ‘Ultra Heavy Beat’, have returned with a
trend-killing, ravenous, all-out assault called WWIII. Released on
September 23rd via Sanctuary Records, the album opens a new chapter in the
ever-expansive world of KMFDM. On the surface, the disc may be deemed
politically-prophetic (following up 2001’s Attak); however, KMFDM’s dynamic
new vision is both uncompromisingly disdainful and rapturously seductive.

Spawned in 1984, KMFDM rapidly evolved year-by-year through intense
experimentation and touring; redefining and upgrading themselves with each
progressing release. 2003 sees KMFDM aptly dubbed ‘rock with a conscience’;
a band that breathes as a cohesive unit, yet is not limited in vision or
experience. Fueled by everyday news & events, the band is frequently known
for its revolution-styled lyrics and thematically extreme social commentary.
Says vocalist/keyboardist/bassist/ringleader Sascha “Kapt’n K” Konietzko
explains the band’s position, “The fears, the vulnerability and the
McCarthyism that slowly creep into the remote corners of one’s brain are all
weapons of mass distraction. This is serious and needs to be opposed and
eventually debunked. But I have to say that we have no interest in making
only intensely serious statements, either. We see art as art, and politics
for what it is. KMFDM's lyrics simply reflect the absurdities that we all
are bombarded with every day.”

Add these intense lyrics to KMFDM’s diverse style, and you get a glimpse of
the band’s true charm – music that is thought-provoking as well as contusive
to dancing…and even headbanging! Alongside Konietzko are the bludgeoning
multi-guitar crunch of Joolz Hodgson & Steve White, the boisterous
percussion work of Andy Selway, the dark, debaucherous vocal emanations of
Raymond “Pig” Watts and spitfire hellcat vocals of Lucia Cifarelli, whose
fervent vocal style emerges as provocative, evocative, and oft times
contemptuous. The tracklisting for WWIII includes:

WWIII Stars And Stripes
From Here On Out Bullets, Bombs, Bigotry
Blackball Moron
Jihad Revenge
Last Things Intro
Pitty The Pious

A KMFDM interactive e-card is available for download here:

http://www.sadisticcreations.com/kmfdm

KMFDM is not a band to speak bold words without the muscle to back itself
up, therefore an extensive North American tour is already slated to promote
the release of WWIII throughout October & November (36 shows in 40 days).
The tour routing (with opening act Bile) is as follows:

Friday, October 17th Seattle, WA
The Catwalk
Saturday, October 18th Boise, ID
Big Easy
Sunday, October 19th Salt Lake City, UT
Bricks
Monday, October 20th Denver, CO
Ogden Theatre
Tuesday, October 21st Lawrence, KS
Granada Theatre
Wednesday, October 22nd St. Louis, MO
Mississippi Nights
Thursday, October 23rd Minneapolis, MN First
Avenue
Friday, October 24th Milwaukee, WI
The Rave / Eagles Ballroom
Sunday, October 26th Chicago, IL
House Of Blues
Monday, October 27th Chicago, IL
House Of Blues
Tuesday, October 28th Cincinnati, OH
Bogart's
Wednesday, October 29th Pontiac, MI
Clutch Cargo
Thursday, October 30th Cleveland, OH
Odeon Concert Club
Friday, October 31st Rochester, NY
Water Street Music Hall
Saturday, November 1st Boston, MA Axis
Sunday, November 2nd Providence, RI
Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel
Monday, November 3rd New York, NY
Irving Plaza
Wednesday, November 5th Philadelphia, PA The
Trocadero
Thursday, November 6th Washington, DC 9:30 Club
Friday, November 7th Charlotte, NC
Tremont Music Hall
Saturday, November 8th Atlanta, GA
The Masquerade
Sunday, November 9th Tampa, FL
The Masquerade
Monday, November 10th Fort Lauderdale, FL Club Venu
Wednesday, November 12th New Orleans, LA Howlin' Wolf
Thursday, November 13th Houston, TX
Numbers
Friday, November 14th San Antonio, TX
White Rabbit
Saturday, November 15th Dallas, TX
Deep Ellum Live
Sunday, November 16th Tulsa, OK
Cain's Ballroom
Tuesday, November 18th Tempe, AZ
Marquee Theatre
Wednesday, November 19th West Hollywood, CA House Of Blues
Thursday, November 20th Las Vegas, NV House
Of Blues
Friday, November 21st Anaheim, CA
House Of Blues
Saturday, November 22nd San Francisco, CA Slim's
Sunday, November 23rd San Francisco, CA
Slim's
Monday, November 24th Portland, OR
Roseland Theater
Tuesday, November 25th Seattle, WA
Fenix / Fenix Underground

September 23rd brings a new dawn in contemporary, heavy music…music with a
conscience…KMFDM.

www.kmfdm.net
www.sanctuaryrecordsgroup.com
__________________________________________________________________

SHOW LISTINGS

Fri, Sept 12: The Witching and Antigone Rising at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, Sept 12: Hatebreed, Madball, Cephalic Carnage, Inherance, and Ringworm
at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, Sept 13: Hatebreed, Madball, Cephalic Carnage, and Ringworm at The
Haunt, Ithaca (Early Show – 3:30 to 9:30)

Sat, Sept 13: The Purrs at The Bug Jar, Rochester

Mon, Sept 15: Unearth, Building on Fire, Ed Gein, Tamiross, and Red Death at
The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Thurs, Sept 18: The Toasters and The Plankboys at Castaways, Ithaca

Fri, Spet 19: Overkill, Tar, and Down Driven at The Penny Arcade, Rochester

Fri, Sept 19: Loopus, Greyscale, Appoline at The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, Sept 19: The Dropkick Murphy’s, The Unseen, and Roger Mirit and The
Disasters at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

Sat, Sept 20: Sevendust (an Acoustic Evening) at The Water Street Music
Hall, Rochester

Tue, Sept 23: The Reverend Horton Heat and BR549 at The Water Street Music
Hall, Rochester

Fri, Sept 26: The Witching at Castaways, Ithaca (CD Release Party)

Sat, Sept 27: Lacuna Coil, Beyond the Embrace, Murder by Death, and Amanda
Rogers at Planet 505, Syracuse

Tue, Sept 30: Voodoo Glow Skulls, The Pietasters, River City Rebels, and
Worm Quartet at Castways, Ithaca

Sat, Oct 11: Thin Lizzy at The Steel Street Music Hall, Rochester

Wed, Oct 15: Kings X and Fishbone at The Haunt, Ithaca

Mon, Oct 20: Stretch Armstrong, Evergreen Terrace, Michigan’s Bear Vs.
Shark, Burns Out Bright, and Saving Throw at Planet 505, Syracuse

Wed, Oct 22: Queensryche at Turning Stone, Verona

Fri, Oct 24: From Autumn to Ashes, Cave In, Every Time I Die, and Prize
Fighter at Planet 505, Syracuse

Sun, Oct 26: Alice Cooper at Turning Stone, Verona

Wed, Oct 29: The Bouncing Souls at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

Fri, Oct 31: **CANCELLED** Punch Drunk Monkeys featuring Crappy the Clown at
The Haunt, Ithaca

Fri, Oct 31: Alice Cooper at Casino Niagara, Niagara Falls

Fri, Oct 31: The Plankboys and The Witching at Castaways, Ithaca

Fri, Oct 31: KMFDM at The Water Street Music Hall, Rochester

__________________________________________________________________

Playlist for The Last Exit for the Lost: September 7, 2003
(R) = Requested

Background: Dark Sanctuary "De Lumiere Et D'Obscurite"

KMFDM "WWIII / From Here On Out"
Avenged Sevenfold "Remenissions"
Skold "Don't Pray"
Ghouls of Grandeur "A World of Wrath"
Dark Lunacy "Fragile Caress"
From Autumn to Ashes "A World of Wrath"
Mnemic "Ghost" (R)
The Plankboys "Kick"
Mercury Tide "Lost and Torn"
Arch Enemy "Saints and Sinners"
Dimmu Borgir "Vredesbyrd"
After Forever "My Pledge of Allegience #1"
John Arch "Relentless"
Nightwish "Devil and the Deep Dark Ocean" (R)
Battlelore "Buccaneers Inn"
Silent Stream of Godless Elegy "My Friend Who Doesn't Exist"
My Dying Bride "The Stance of Evander Sinque"
Pissing Razors "No Way Out"
A Day Without Rain "Untitled"
The Witching "Wrecking Ball"
Evolution "Space"
Alice Donut "The Son of a Disgruntled X-Postal Worker Reflects on His Life
While Getting Stoned in The Parking Lot of a Win Dixie While Listening to
Metallica"
None More Evil "Trip to Hell"
Herman Nugent "Again"
Graveworm "Renaissance in Blood"
Children of Bodom "Sixpounder"
Vision Divine "Apocalypse Coming"
Legen Beltza "hate"
The Purrs "Hellish Nightmare"
Gardianian "Powertool" (R)
Theatres Des Vampires "Queen of the Damned"
Edge of Sanity "Incantation"
Idols of Perversity "Bob Redwood Sucks"
Spoken "Sleep Well Tonight"
KMFDM "Last Things"
Sack Trick "All I Want is Fish"
Static-X "Ostegolectric"
Rage "Human Metal"
Stretch Armstrong "Perception of Energy"
Cage "Wings of Destruction"
Kaospilit "Arm Your Fists"
Zyklon "The Prophetic Method"
Ghouls of Grandeur "From Hell and Back"
Gorgoroth "Forces of Satan Storms"
From Autumn to Ashes "All I Taste Today is What's Her Name"
Dillenger Escape Plan "Baby's First Coffin"
Slavemachine "Another Way to Die"
HavocHate "Pull the Plug"
13 Faces "Look What You Did to Me"
Random Acts of Violence "Hate Psalm"
Fleshgrind "Duct-Taped and Raped"
Wehrwolfe "The Trinity Undone"
Psychotogen "All Guns Blazing"
Stripsearch "The Razor"
Avenged Sevenfold "And All Things Will End"

Feature Artist: Nightwish
Bless The Child (Century Child)
End Of All Hope (Century Child)
The Riddler (Oceanborn)
Over the Hills and Far Away (Over the Hills and Far Away)
The Kinslayer (Wishmaster)
Elvenpath (Angels Fall First)
10th Man Down (Over the Hills and Far Away)
The Carpenter (Angels Fall First)
Wanderlust (Wishmaster)
Walking in the Air - Live (From Wishes to Eternity)
FantasMic (Wishmaster)
Beauty Of The Beast (Century Child)
_____________________________________________

SEPTEMBER BIZARRE HOLIDAYS

September is ...
Self Improvement Month
Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month
International Square Dance Month
Cable TV Month
National Bed Check Month
National Chicken Month
National Courtesy Month
National Honey Month
National Mind Mapping Month
National Piano Month
National Rice Month
National Papaya Month
Classical Music Month

September 1 is ... Emma M. Nutt Day
September 2 is ... National Beheading Day
September 3 is ... Skyscraper Day
September 4 is ... Newspaper Carrier Day
September 5 is ... Be Late For Something Day
September 6 is ... Fight Procrastination Day
September 7 is ... Neither Rain Nor Snow Day
September 8 is ... National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day
September 9 is ... Teddy Bear Day
September 10 is ... Swap Ideas Day
September 11 is ... No News Is Good News Day
September 12 is ... National Pet Memorial Day and National Chocolate
Milkshake Day
September 13 is .. Defy Superstition Day
September 14 is ... National Cream-filled Donut Day
September 15 is ... Felt Hat Day
September 16 is ... Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect Rocks Day
September 17 is ... National Apple Dumpling Day
September 18 is ... National Play-doh Day
September 19 is ... National Butterscotch Pudding Day
September 20 is ... National Punch Day
September 21 is ... World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival
September 22 is ... Hobbit Day and Dear Diary Day
September 23 is ... Checkers Day and Dogs In Politics Day
September 24 is ... Festival Of Latest Novelties
September 25 is ... National Comic Book Day
September 26 is ... National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day
September 27 is ... Crush A Can Day
September 28 is ... Ask A Stupid Question Day More Info on Stupid Questions
September 29 is ... Poisoned Blackberries Day
September 30 is ... National Mud Pack Day

------------------- An Animated Sex Life -------------------

Latin lovers who are bored with the same old sexual posi-
tions can now receive a helping hand. A Brazilian telephone
company is sending animations of sexual positions based on
the Kama Sutra directly to customers' mobile phones. For
only 99 Brazilian centavos (21 pence), customers of Tele
Norte Leste Participacoes' wireless arm Oi are able to down-
load one of 40 different animations along with a brief
explanation and level of difficulty. If demand warranted,
Oi believes it could double the number of animated positions
available. Each graphic comes with the warning that the
content is for adults over the age of 18. Not surprisingly,
The Rio de Janeiro-based company is one of Brazil's fastest
growing cellular phone operators.
_________________________________________________

---------------------- What A Tease ------------------------

SHARON, PA - When you're planning a kid's birthday party to
ride go-carts, make sure the go-carts aren't rented out.
However, if they are, you can always buy the kids beer and
do a strip tease for them, such as one Pennsylvania woman
did. When she took her son and three friends to a go-cart
track to celebrate her son's birthday, they discovered all
the go-carts were rented out. To make up for the disappoint-
ment, she took the kids to a hotel and bought them beer.
Handing them $1 bills, she told the boys she wanted to be a
stripper, and asked them to put the money in her bra and pan-
ties. She then exposed herself and asked them to spank her.
The woman's son said that he was embarrassed by her actions.
She was free on bail and has since been barred from seeing
the boys, since they have seen enough of her already.
_________________________________________________

------------- No More Alcohol - You're Cut Off -------------

MEXICO CITY - Construction worker Ernesto Rodriguez Hernan-
dez was taken to the hospital after he got drunk and paid
two young boys to castrate him. He was intoxicated at a
building site in Aguascalientes city on Sunday when he met
two 11-year-old boys who had gone there to play. After tel-
ling the boys he wished to be "castrated to live more calm-
ly" and because he wasn't married, he then offered them mon-
ey. He gave the boys 200 pesos (US$20) after they sliced
off one testicle with a razor he provided. The boys' par-
ents called police after the boys told them how they obtain-
ed the money. Rodriguez was taken to the hospital and the
children were put under court jurisdiction while officials
investigate the case.
_______________________________________________

------------------- A Derailed Escape ----------------------

MONROE, Wash. - An Evergreen State Fair employee led police
on a crazy chase through the fair after he tried to steal
money from another carnival worker and then went into a
women's restroom and exposed himself. When deputies arri-
ved, he put on his pants, took off his shirt, and went
through a window in one of the bathroom's stalls. He groped
women as he ran, and then scaled a chain-link fence to U.S.
2, where he attempted to steal a car from a woman. When
that didn't work, he fled across the highway to a train and
tried to jump aboard, despite the fact it was traveling
about 45 miles per hour. After being knocked out from his
close encounter with the train, he was taken to a medical
center in Seattle with multiple fractures.
________________________________________________

---------------- Drilling It Into His Head ----------------

A California man is being called "Miracle Man" after being
drilled through the head. Truckee resident Ron Hunt was
using a drill over his head when his ladder started to
wobble. He dropped the 18-inch long drill -- with a 1.5-
inch bit -- on the floor and then fell head first onto
the drill, the Nevada City Union reports. The drill went
through his right eye and out his skull. Hunt had surgery
to remove the drill. He lost his eye but does not seem to
have suffered any brain damage from the impaling. Hunt says
the most difficult part of the whole episode was not being
insured -- he was a subcontractor -- but family and friends
have been holding fundraisers.
__________________________________________________

--------------- These Aren't the Gummi Kind ----------------

What is a firefighter's secret to good health? Well, for
Paisit Chanta, a firefighter in central Thailand, keeping
the doctor away involves eating a worm a day. He has con-
sumed one live worm every day for almost three decades and
feels this is what has kept him in good health. Paisit's
strange eating habit began when he was fishing in his native
village. "One day, I was sitting there waiting for a fish
to eat my bait for hours and was starving. Suddenly, I
realized fish don't die from eating worms so I shouldn't
either. I ate them until I was full," he said. Now, he
loves the wriggly creatures and even chews them instead of
swallowing them whole. He often digs for his lunch in the
area near the fire station where he works, despite the fact
his co-workers find his habit strange and disgusting.
________________________________________________

-------------------- What a Fowl Up ------------------------

TUCSON, Ariz. - Police officers and firefighters busted down
the front door of a home after hearing a woman's screams
coming from inside. However, once they entered the home,
they realized the sounds weren't coming from a woman, but
rather from a parrot's imitation of a damsel in distress.
Oscar, the two-year-old Amazon parrot, was found by police
making laughing and screaming sounds as he sat in his cage.
The confusion began after a 911-hang up call was made from
the house and police arrived to find the home locked with
bars on the windows. Crews used a pry bar and a battering
ram to get through the door after hearing what they thought
was a woman's voice. Although it is still a mystery who
made the call, the parrot is off the hook since he doesn't
know how to use the phone.
________________________________________________

in Hawera, New Zealand, a 25-year-old
sex worker ("Brooke") at a massage parlor set the town abuzz in
July by advertising that she (who recently gave birth) would
(presumably for an additional fee) allow her customers to consume
her nutritious breast milk; the director of the local breastfeeding
advocates, La Leche League, said she was concerned that Brooke's
baby was getting short-changed.
__________________________________________________

This is an attempt to get people a little more into what's going on in the
music scene these days. As well as to keep people at least a little
informed about what is going on at our weekly broadcasts of chaos.
Please feel free to send all comments, suggestions, corrections, additions,
and whatever else that might help make this more useful.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might find it
interesting. Bands wanting to submit material for airplay can do so by
sending it to Aethyric Productions, Po Box 224, Ovid, Ny 14521-0224.

And e-mail us your show dates to add to the list above...

Some parts of this email were cleaned by emailStripper, available for free
from http://www.printcharger.com/emailStripper.htm
Some Quotes from Ruminations (ruminations-subscribe@...)

Some stories taken from News of the Weird (www.NewsoftheWeird.com) and
Bizarre News (www.bizarrenews.com). Go to their sites to subscribe to their
weekly e-mails filled with such real news stories... Other stories from
http://www.ananova.com. Also, some parody stories have come from
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/, http://theonion.com/, and
http://www.infernalcombustion.com/. Other sources noted where applicable...