Hello, loyal subjects!<br>We have been ever so
busy since we reached our centennial birthday --
surely, with thanks to the Count's bone-smashing
longevity techniques, the first of many -- but, in keeping
with the Count's emphasis on sound fiscal success, we
have been spending our time wisely, with a regal eye
on the business opportunities afforded us by, first,
our birthday and, more germane to this missive to
you, our virtual commoner friends, by our Golden
Jubilee.<br>You see, during our 50 years on the throne of the
United Kingdom, nothing has occupied us more than the
process of branding the Queen Elizabeth II marque -- a
marque, if we may say so (Of course we shall! We are,
after all, Queen!), instantly recognizable throughout
the civilized world as betokening the finest in
taste, tradition and elegance.<br>As Count Dante, our
closest advisor and confidante, has reminded us in the
Royal Command Performances of his success seminars,
celebratory events are perfect branding and merchandising
opportunities -- and what event could be more celebratory than
our Golden Jubilee? So when our Jubilee is officially
celebrated this summer, the celebrations will be accompanied
by tasteful items -- from tea cups and saucers to
reproduction tiaras for the lesser classes seeking a way to
identify with their beloved Queen -- adorned with our
Royal image. Who shall accept the monies earned from
these collectibles? As the Count might say, "You
bone-crunch the numbers."<br>All of which shall bring closer
to fruition our plans to re-purchase, in perpetuity
and with all rights to local resources, an Empire for
Great Britain, beginning with Ceylon. Huzzah for Empire
-- and the Count!<br>-HRH