Shalom All
I apologise for just writing one letter for all to read through
groups blogs and forums (which i have been doing lately often)
The reason for this is that i am very broke, and dont have much
money, and still looking for work.
I apologise that i could not watch, comment and look at your forum
messages, blog posts, art submissions, photo uploads etc , and feel
very awfull about it, and i am very very very sorry...

Well I want to thank those who provided some Dana international news
((((((hugs)))))... as i am so out of orbit on the topic..So her new
album release has jumped from February to September... I am so used
to this postponement... its like my life and transition... its not
going anwhere.. or its still finding somehwere to go..But the only
thing i hear from her these days is the music playing in my ears from
the Cds and songs , I have, it helps the days go by easier...I thank
her for that:-) i recomend it, its good therapy...But it sounds like
Dana is also having a bumpy ride through life.

So excuse the worthless dribble blended in the data you want to read,
if that is you want to read...
the job as a IT technitian at the college failed, "affirmative of
action" is the reason which makes South Africa less like the rainbow
nation as its supposed to be...so i am kind of stuck still...parents
giving me shit... just one more year job or not i am leaving south
africa as i have to complete the aditional subjects.., its realy
getting rediculous. For example i am stuck most of all because of the
change of the University curriculum and have to take two extra
subjects, and they first year ones... and i have gone through first,
second and third...
This job I was banking on, that even stuck , i could get money to
continue with transition, nope they employed someone who has not even
looked at a broken PC yet... sitting in the secratary's office
chatting all day.. "thats what i heard..." i never been to the
college yet.. but going to to take a photo at there so
called "equality act" which they not following...its not just race
and skin colour against me, its this transexual thing... i wish i was
born a proper girl from the start... people are so full of bullshit..
I was so upset , i had another one of those so-called suicide attempts
(this attempt was going to be for all the hardships that not happen
to me but all trans girls who get rejected and be some sort of marter)
, and ended the plan of suicide ended by trying to contact the
media, phoned them up, they said they want more facts and especialy
the proof of job rejection. hell i contacted the lady of human
resources and she said such information is disclosed, so i left the
media thing till another time, thats when i am planning to have
passive resistance at the bank who will be demanding payment of there
student loan, where the topic would be how can i pay without
employement...

What also makes me sick is the so called promises i get from people
and parents who said they will help find work for me where they dont,
and my father who does not promise me in the gender crap, but promise
he will organize my brittish passport, and also the promise to get
contacts/ record lable contracts for the production of my music...
hell i been living in the jungle or my life and he was an ex-60's pop
star and knows all the shit... so called i guese, as his stage name
sounded like something from cartoon network...Persly Eggnog... :-/
yup the name makes anyone want to puke..

The good news is I have been invited to a transsexual conference in
Cape Town, where i think i could get some ideas, help, and as well
return help and ideas, since more brains is better than one..Topics
about government, acceptance, employment and such will be discussed,
and i will post some news, the person who organising it is Liesel
from www.genderdynamix.co.za (hope i spelt URL right)

At the moment i have been going around time marketing myself...
saying i can do this, can do that etc, because i am desperate and
dont have money to get newspapers to reply to adverts, and in the
past where i did reply i got lame responces, or no responces, well
then if the responces were positive... i just get as far as the
interview... even after flying through the aptitude tests. Its the
dreaded interview .... the nightmare of applying for work, often i
picture the interviewer as a demon from hell when i get rejected


I have done a new artwork piece which was done two weeks ago, and had
no money to upload the thing, its a portrait of someone from
www.myspace.com whose name is "poison in a bottle" or something like
that, one of Pandora's freinds.. and i hope i have the money to
message her its there... if i dcant find her because of her unsual
user name, i just message Pandora to send her the message... the two
sometimes costume up together...and they live in same city..
talking about myspace.com... is that page of Dana International ,
realy her's ? or its just a fan support page... dont know... dont
care as long she has her face there, but i would like if it was
her's.

I am currently working on Jose's work.. a self portrait in elf form
as payment for freindship and the deviantart subscription he gave
me... was almost finnished with scene, and a moth flew into my RAM
chips causing havoc.. as well as a power failure occured at the time
which screwwed my hard drive... when i went in the kitchen to make a
milky "chocolate milk" the power went on, and found the bad news, ..
I eventualy fixed the PC.. and have blisters on my fingers trying to
put DDRAMS back in after i removed the powder remains of the moth...
and also my hard drive was spiked and had to repair that as well,
fortunately no data was lost just the paging file and one of the
bootup .sys files...makes me sick about the job... i did not get and
what i know about PCs so far... and its such a simple job..anyway...
thats a good example of gender discrimination and affirmative action
for you where my parents are not included.
its not may parents i am batteling with, its the town and country.

After that i will be doing a portrait of a TS woman in south africa
which i will charge her R200 for it... which would help me a bit...no
elfy fairy stuff.. she wants to be human... hope she gives me good
photos to work with which would be an excelent human resource.

So alot of shit is happening and I apologise, so i just
emailed/posted, dribbled and sribbled to tell you i am sort of
arround and have not dissapeared off the face of the planet yet...and
kind of stuck, and some help would help, weather it would be love,
acceptance, kindness and jenerousity, even employment, i am realy
desparate... yup i know people dont want to know anyone when they are
down and out, only when they are loaded and up "in".

Lotsa love
Danielle
thank you to those who posted me messages :-)
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
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The elvin evening meal

This graphic is a portrait of poison in a bottle :
She is the elf with the red scales on her skin.. I battled with her
face, since V3 did not provide enouph morph channels for editing the
face, to get full facial features, so i cheated a little and did what
i could, and photo-shoped her face as a 50% visible layer over the
final render... hence the .jpg artifact still visible, however, the
image size is larger than my usual works which she can count on as
repayment for my cheating on the face,lol...

All the elves and faires were rendered to completion with no
postwork, some post wark hd been done on the dribble of the two
kissing elves and some of the slime.
The slim is actualy dripping off the roof of the structure they are
in onto the elves.
The production of this slime is from the fruit that grows in the
plant creepers, and some have it in there bowls. Its a fruit the
elves love. It tastes like strawberries and cream which have been
bleneded and mixed together. Elves love there sweet things, and often
enjoy feeding each other rather than themselves and also lick and eat
food off there bodies which had dropped on them.they also drink milk
from each other as well, but this is not depicted in the image since
it would make it appear adult. They are very loving towards each
other, and always laugh , giggle and play, kiss and hug, which often
lacks in human society, very sad... and humans often hate, kill,
murder and rape, neglect , dispise... very little love exisits, and
such effection is not allowed.

This scene is taken in the elvin ship's biosphere near one of the
corners where the ship's engine's plasma tubes pulsate with light,
and produce heat around the surrounding water which creates steam and
mist for the biosphere.
The Twi-elves and tailed elves have long tounges, and have tiny
mouths, or oral cavaties on the tips of there toungues, this normaly
is used when they bite into hard shell fruit, and penetrate and feed
on the soft fruity insides..., and often use them as for touching as
well as tasting..
There tailes are sensitive as well, since like all creatures with
tails, part of there spinal column is in there..and tailed elves love
to have there tails stroked or held. They often use the tail somtimes
as a third arm. for example, if a tailed elf had to use a standard PC
it would use the keyboard with her hands, but move the mouse with her
tail, and possible shoot her toungue out to press function keys..
There are faires ther too, here they like to lick off the remains of
fruit off the elves, and also tickle and play with the elves... and
chat as well... but have higher sqeaky pitched voices...and some when
flying around sound like flapping birds or large insects.
There is not much of a story to this artwork, since most of it is
described in the image, and what the elves are talking about to each
other realy is not that important, its just there daily gossip of
jokes and giggles, and love praises.
The species/races of elves in the image:
1 Twi-Elf, the green elf with the head tails and abdomen tail
2) Dark Elves "Zanaria" getting fed... and her freind, kissing on
right
3) 1 Goth elf, the one kissing the other dark elf
4) 1 Tailed elf, the greyish green elf...
5) 1 Arthro-Elf the elf with the antennae
6) 1 Scaled elf... she is a cross between a Tree elf and a tailed
elf, but has no tail.

Tailed elves have the most natural splended skin colours and patches..
The other elves often tatoo themselves according to race/species