Shalom all
I am sorry I cannot write to you all a separate message, so i post
this message to all, since i still dont have internet, and very
pennyless, so please bear with me. However i have replied some
individual emails that were sent to my private email address. I am
going to change my email to the genderdynamix one when i have the
money and chance, its set up already, i just have to send it to some
people... I try do that next month, telling people of my new email
address change, but the other 2 yahoo emails will still be open. The
reason why i am switching over is because i am fond of gender
dynamix and all the people there, and also a member, and secondly
yahoo is hopeless when uploading attachments to emails. but i just
had not the chance and money to send it out letting people know, and
hell, i dont even know the email address , i think its
zana@.... (if i had internet and was working i
would have been able to done this as soon as i got it.

I am also letting you know i have decided that after my exams in
October, I will be going to Cape Town, to plan to live there, and
first to find work and a reasonable paid job that will cover basic
living cecessities(rent,food,etc) + the cost of moving on with my
transition at a very basic level first (precribed pills + hair
removal) + enouph to get myself a small economical vehicle. First I
have to get work, before thinking of rent. With rent, it would be a
great idea if i share rent with someone, and this is most likely to
be one of my new close freinds. This would make the expenses less a
little.

So people who live in Cape Town, please let me know if you want to
employ me, and let me know if i have to bring my own PC along with
me, to start more or less soon as I arrive. Marlene(Dr.Eve) Please
let me know if you want me to start working for you again... and
distance wont be a problem. I would have fully completed my degree
by then, but the certificates will be processed in January/February,
and my marks i will get in December.Let me know f you want a student
record as well...

The reason why i want to settle in Cape Town, is to illiminate my
lonelyness, as i do not have anyone to visit or chat with here in
Eshowe, nor do i have anyone to love and who loves me too in Eshowe.
I am feeling very homesick, and i feel accepted and loved by more
people in Cape Town than in my own town, as where i am, people act
fine to me, but behind my back its a different story. There is no
future for me in Natal, as i tried for two years and got negetive
responces, the only positive responces, but did not happen, or did
nt last due to distance, finances etc, was Enya (Africa Adventure)
and Marlene (Dr.Eve) and they were out of Natal. Natal is also very
tied up with politics and very pro BEE(Black Econimic Empowerment)
where they prefere race to skills, and very fed up about the whole
thing, and just want to leave all that as i cannot fight it, when i
am also fighting gender discrimination which is a far bigger issue.
Not just the politics, here in Natal, they not very accepting
towards the gender odities.
Also if i get employment from people outside gender dynamics, at
least i will have gender dynamics nearby if there is a problem. Also
i will be closer to Gender Dynamix and help them as well what i can
in my free time, and attend all the meetings and social gatherings..
and i dont have a social life where i live.

First of all how do i get there? well it was my brithday on Saturday
(04/08) and i asked my mum not to spend t on pressies but so i can
use it for a ticket out of hell + i got a very cheap pen tablet for
helping em to draw better instead of using the mouse, this was
intended for work for Marlene, as the work she wanted me to do was
just down my lane... nice sensual cute anime stuff for her website..
talking about her, those who have not seen the pointed eared version
of the character, it can be seen in recent submissions on
http://www.zananeichan.deviantart.com. The image has a hidden code
and meaning if there are some who want to figure it out. I promised
to put pointed ears on it if she closed this deal with the website
character. Well the R10 i took from my father..., well actualy asked
him for it first, and he said no, and i took it.. tiered of my
parents refusals especialy around gender issues, and the money my
father wasted on crap.

The birthday money from mum R400 , I ask her to give me for my
ticket out of hell, but to get what i need i tried to do some small
business here such as fixing PCs requesting people for art, and its
been no joy, especialy that I cant afford to put an advert in the
local newspaper, and people in the town kept on pulling down my ads
of the advertising boards in public areas, its got to the point when
i see them off, i then at night wood glue them to the notice board.
So I have nt had much of a birthday, the only wonderfull thing that
happned was i got a call from Laura:-), if it wasnt for her it would
have been a total disaster, thank you Laura *(((((9hugs))))).
So I am asking you if you want me to do some artwork for you, for
the money to cap up from R400 to R1000 if i can do some artwork for
you, a very very high detailed image, if it be a 3D portrait of you
or something, or even manga stuff, I let you know i will be taking
my time on it because my exams are in October, also it would help me
to regain my creativity, since i had not done anything since the
pointed eared Dr.Eve, due to reasons worying people think I am
shit...

Please if you could contact me by immediately by phone 0734704620 or
if you watching your money by the email zanaloveselfies@...,
but i can only check this next month, as i am bone dry, because the
price of my herbal oestrogens went up, the price of posting went up
(had to post a parcel in regards to someone in Estonia who gave me
Manga Studio and chocolates, and gave them Poser 5 including models
and things i got+ a CD of more software + chocolates
(cadburies/nestle as beacon sux) + an elf necklase). The postage
costed R20 more than the items in total i spent in the package. So i
am left with R30, which is gone on the internet, with R10 left.

Please send a description of the artwork you want from me, if its a
self protrait, or a portrait of you and your freinds, to send a
front photo of the head(s), and side photo of the head(s) with a
rouph scetch of the scene, you can use shapes and stick people if
you cannot draw well, also remember to label each element in your
scetch, so i know what it is, and where each thing goes in the
scene. Please this will help me alot...
I will negociate costs of the artwork, in relation o your budget,
and quality of the image...(3D) manga/anime stuff will be R50 an
image, since its quicker than doing cmplex, large 3D scenes, which i
will charged according to your budget, and complexity... and i will
throw in a few special offers/secrets that will come along with it...
and i want out, and hope that i only use one ticket to Cape Town,
and settle there... Please tell others about me, so that they can
arrange interviews... I cant see job offers in Cape Town as i dont
have internet, and the money to use internet for that, and there is
nthing as such in the newspapers here.. al are in Natal , Natal,
which i could not get anything for 2 years. Even the local job in
this Town i live in...

Thank you I would appreciate that, I will contact you on a regular
basis on my progression of the artwork by phone if you in south
africa.

Well besides that, i read the newspaper here "Sunday Tribune" and
in the magazine section they spoke of Dr.Eve (Marlene), and a
paragraph in the artcile was about her book called the pillow
book... I read that the book was about girly sensual stuff, which
captivated me... so Marlene, when i go to Cape Town, and managed to
find work, I would like to buy 3 copies from you personaly, and
maybe you can autograph them. One is for myself, and the other two i
would like to give to my 2 special freinds in the Cape:-) Those
others who dont know what the pillow book is or what it entales ,
well its a book about some sensual stuff, ideas for woman who dont
have an idea to think about when with somone, to engage in sensual
extra tender loving moments... I dont know if this is listed on her
website, for more information, contact her at her website::
http://www.dreve.co.za , yup the website would by now have had at
least a few anime/manga things on it to liven it up... perahaps it
does in parallel univeres...

Tina Engela, I have not forgotten you either, as i still promised i
would buy one of your comedy sci-fi books once i have a job ;-) but
dont know which one to start with... as i already have a few of your
stories,... I hope you keeping well, sorry i have not phoned, not
sure if you want to be bothered or nt by the sensual pointed eared
thing...

Studying for me, well it been difficult, due to the fact i had lost
some self easteem, as i was hoping to get my self started up and
running, but what was the cherry on the top of my parents shit was
UNISA, my last hard programming C++ asignment, ended up in a mess at
UNISA. First of all, i recieved a call from a student in Richards
Bay who is not registerd with the subject, phoned me and said she
had my assignment, which was stapled to another student, and the
comment of the marker was that, she had been cheating from me, and
the other student's work is unknown.. a line had been drawn through
my work, and had not been marked. I contacted the lecturer up to
enquire, she said someone deleted and canceled my assignment(lucky
they did not cancel the subject alltogether), so i had to re-submit
it, i am not to sure if it was a political motive by the markers
working under her. I had to re-send the assignment to her privately
to be marked. because of this, i worry for my exams, and hope they
dont be handeled in such a manner, and i have asked that I get a
notification if the lecturers have recieved my exam papers. So i had
been very upset about that too...

I also got myself a handbag, found that mum had thrown her old one
in the bin, cant understand why she could not have given it to me...
what a waist, and there are no tears, holes etc... and the zip is
fine. I also asked my mum for her old hair dryer, or even to borrow
it but she refused, and now has given it away to my brother's
wife... also the jewerlery box i fixed for my mum which she got from
my gran, which i loved, she also gave that away to my brother's
wife, and she took it from my mum without saying thank you... also
very upset abut that.

Yup its a long message... and i need to get out, and hope i get
something for workwise, where i feel welcomed and loved, and be
happy...

Oh in the local newspaper of the town eshowe, i see the editer did
not put in stuff about transsexuality, which i hoped she put in to
make the town understand it better... I will see her sometime about
and enquire... I dont know if she contact Liesl about Gender Dynamix

Love ya lots:-), and miss ya lots :-(
Danielle
((^_^))