An interview with Jim Verraros
Planet OUT
by Dennis Hensley

"American Idol" fans will remember Jim Verraros as the sweet,
bespectacled crooner from the first season who sang "When I Fall In
Love" while signing the lyrics in honor of his deaf parents.

Now, the 22-year-old Illinois native has a hot new look, a hot new
movie, "Eating Out" (which hits DVD July 26) and a hot new sound. His
recently released CD, "Rollercoaster," is an assured mix of pulsing
dance tracks, catchy pop-rockers and a few torchy ballads. (It's the
kind of record we wish George Michael were still making.)

With a new dance single, "You're Getting Crazy," hitting clubs in
August, the single entertainer -- still the only openly gay "Idol"
contestant in four seasons -- opens up about his naughty lyrics,
meeting guys online and what it's like to kiss Ryan Carnes.

You've been playing Gay Pride festivals this summer. Any highlights?

I got to meet Deborah Gibson in L.A. She was really sweet and said
she loves my makeover. [Laughs.] That's all I needed.

If you see a guy in the crowd you think is cute, do you try to give
him a signal, like "Meet me backstage later"?

[Laughs.] No, that makes me too nervous. I'm intimidated by good-
looking guys. I just rode a float for Chicago Pride and I had all
these beads to give out, and I thought, "I'm going to hand these to
the cute guys." But I'm too shy. I don't make the move at all. It's
easier for me to chat online because there's no intimidation factor.

When you send your photo over the Web, do guys recognize you
from "American Idol"?

They either totally know who I am or they have no idea. Sometimes
they question it, like, "I don't think you should be using Jim
Verraros' pictures. Prove it." And then I have to talk about Kelly
Clarkson and everyone else and I'm just like, "Ugh, not what I want
to be doing right now."

Do you have a specific type?

One I can never get. [Laughs.] Walk into an Abercrombie store and
anyone who's on that wall is my type. Because I have dark hair and
dark eyes, I usually like lighter hair and eyes. Beautiful smiles
make me go crazy.

Speaking of hot blonds, in the movie "Eating Out," you make out with
Ryan Carnes, who turned up recently as the gay gardener on "Desperate
Housewives." What was it like to shoot that scene? And if you
say, "It was just work," we won't believe you.

[Laughs.] It was hot. Ryan's an amazing kisser and a real sweetheart
of a guy. We didn't rehearse it. The first time we kissed it was on
camera and it was awesome. I was impressed that, for a straight guy,
he wasn't phased by it at all. When [director] Allan [Brocka] would
call cut, he wasn't like, "Oh, get away from me." He did the slow,
pull-away thing.

Ryan's pretty confident in his sexuality. I like that he takes risks,
like pulling off the full-frontal moment in our movie and taking
another gay role in "Desperate Housewives." A few months ago at the
Advocate photo shoot, he was telling me that gay guys come up to him
all the time and say, "Thank you for not portraying us
stereotypically."

You came out in The Advocate around the time of the "American Idol"
tour. Do you wonder what your path would have been if you had stayed
in the closet?

All the time. But I wanted to stay true to myself and make a
difference. That's what's important. Sure, I could be making more
money, but not being able to go to a gay bar? That would suck. We
need people in our community to step up and take responsibility. How
are we supposed to go further if people just stay in the closet?

But yeah, I wonder, "Would I be further along if I decided to play it
like Ricky Martin and just not talk about it?" But then I'll go back
and read e-mails from people from all over the world, and it makes it
all better.

What kinds of things do people write to you?

My e-mails are intense. It isn't like, "I love your album. You're
great." It's more like, "I'm 36 years old and in a marriage I'm
completely miserable in with two kids, and I think I'm gay." There
are e-mails from gay kids in places like Virginia or Tennessee, and
it's so awful to hear what they have to go through. I always
respond, "But at 22, I don't know everything about being gay. I'm
struggling with it every day as far as the right things to do."

If you had come out while you were still competing on "Idol," how do
you think it would have gone over with the producers?

Well, The Advocate left voicemails on Fox's machine during the show,
but I never knew about them. That makes me wonder what else was left
for me that I don't know about. But if I was offered the chance to
come out during the show, if I had my parents' support, I would have
done it, even though I got so much hate mail for it when I did come
out. It was like, "A faggot will never win 'American Idol.' Get off
the show, cocksucker!" It was awful. I still get it every once in a
while, like "You're a fucking faggot." People take time out of their
day to tell me how much they hate me. I'm just being myself.

Who's been your most surprising booster?

I was at a comedy show in New York, and John Tartaglia from "Avenue
Q" came up to me and was like, "You're amazing. I love what you're
doing." It was so sweet. It blew my mind.

Do you think reality shows have changed perceptions of gay people in
America?

I do. I think part of it is, casting directors have it in their minds
that gay brings drama, but there's another part of it that's also
very real, and it's what goes on in everyday life. I recently taped
this show for Logo called "Reel Gay," with 15 of us who are openly
gay from reality shows shooting the shit and talking about the power
of editing and that kind of stuff. It was a blast.

There's a song on your album called "So Deep," that seems to be
about -- let's just say it -- anal sex. What inspired you to put it
on the CD?

My producer, Gabe Lopez, played me the track, and I was like, "I
totally know what I want this to be about." I think we need some
taboo stuff to make people be like, "Oh my God, did he just say that?
Did he just say, 'I can get there faster when you're on top'?"

As I was working on it, I thought of all the other Idols and decided:
Why don't I be that Idol that's totally different? The truth is, I
blush every time I have to talk about that song. Because of it,
people are like, "You're such a slut." And I'm like, "Umm, actually
I've never done that." Not that I don't want to. People write me e-
mails like, "Me and my boyfriend totally fucked all night long to
that song." And I'm like, "Wow. I guess my work here is done."