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Flirting is the way most people determine whether
or not a member of the opposite sex is interested
in them. Following is a quick outline on how you
should go about the complex, sometimes fun,
sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It all
beings with your approach.

The Approach

One person approaches the other. They move into
closer physical proximity. This much is clear: NO
approach equals NO possibility of initiating
contact. You must approach!

Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a
coffee shop, or a man stands near a woman in a
dance club. This is the first step. Once you
approach, you begin looking for the signs.

The Signs

The person who has been approached will always
signal the other’s presence in some way…a sign.
This signal is not like a train whistle, however,
more a subtle body language which you can learn to
recognize. For example, he or she simply may look
up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or
signal with a glancing eye contact. A display of
total obliviousness to the one who is approaching
generally indicates lack of interest altogether.
Don’t be discouraged. But if the one you
approached shows absolutely no interest, then it’s
time to re-group and try again. But let’s say the
approach works. You have your positive
acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk

The Verbal Exchange

The two people may then engage in a mild verbal
exchange about impersonal, unimportant matters
such as the weather or the scene around them. The
key word here is MILD. This is the classic place
for the clever “line,” but cleverness is not
required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not
for the purpose of sharing valuable insights about
life or determining philosophical compatibility.
It is just a vehicle to further the developing
contact. Examples: Verbal overtures might include
anything from “please pass the pickles” to “your
looking great tonight”, to “have you seen the
waitress?”. Without some form of verbal response,
it is highly unlikely that the next step will
occur. Let’s say all is going as planned. Time for
body language.

Body Language

Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to
talk may also begin to orient themselves
physically to one another, to turn toward one
another until, if all is goes well, they are fully
facing one another. This is your goal. This step
can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months
. . . to achieve. Yet, without this physical
reorientation toward one another, not very much
can ever happen, so give up on people who turn
their back toward you for long periods of time!
But if they don’t…

Touching

The woman or the man (most often the woman)
touches the other in a light, fleeting way.
Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their
hands against one another while reaching for a
drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm
in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of
very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue
for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate
into the casual affections shown by couples who
are dating. If you’ve reached this point, then
flirting has now become the beginning of a
relationship. The Art of Flirting should always
end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get
out there and flirt. The Art of Flirting is really
the Art of making first contact. You only have one
shot at making a great first impression. By
following some of the guidelines we’ve established
in this article, you should now be equipped to
locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not
your subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new
and exciting relationship.




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