"JUST A VESSEL IN YOUR HANDS"

Sweet Holy Spirit, precious You,
with comforts do attend . . .
each needy, anxious child of God
desiring to befriend ~

To comprehend our Holy God
upon His creation views . . .
each tiny bird fall to the ground
and feeds them as He choose ~

And then to know beyond a doubt
His Seed is dearer still . . .
for whom JESUS shed His precious blood
obeying our Father's will ~

He did not call an angel band
no, alone He bled and died . . .
washing sins as far as East from West
to whom His Royal blood's applied ~

O ~ what an honour ~ privilege
to be counted of worth to Thee . . .
to share the messages from You
through this bit of clay, Lord, me ~

Praise You Heavenly Father
pour me out as Your will commands . . .
filled and emptied day to day
JUST A VESSEL IN YOUR HANDS !


Christine




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Hi friends, sorry I have not got a page out for days....
Jim has been sick, I have been to the hospital twice......
today for x-rays on his head.....He is having terrible headaches.
Still in much pain has to wait for results of x-rays...
I'm praying for a good report.......please keep him in your prayers..
Bernice




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Being Shy

Carol Roach



I used to be a shy person. Today I am a quiet person. I am no longer
shy there is a qualitative difference.

When I was a child I never went anywhere unless I had a friend with
me. I was dependant upon my friend to make my evening a success. Of
course I did not realize it at the time.

So if I wanted to go somewhere badly and my friend didn't go, neither
would. I would just stay home and be miserable.

Up until my divorce, nothing much had changed. I was 25-years-old,
still shy, and still depending upon my friends to make my social life
for me. I will say in my defense that I joined a group called single
again, all by myself – imagine that!

I had no other choice. None of my friends were divorced at the time.
I was finding my married friends and I no longer had the same issues
and they looked at me as the odd one. I was the failure, they told me
so. If I was to make a new life for myself, it had to include new
friends who shared the same interests and the same concerns.

A few acquaintances from the Single Again group talked about a single
parent association and the wonderful dances etc. I was never a dance
person, but the meetings and outings with the children sounded like a
wonderful idea at the time.

We arranged an evening to go, but one by one they cancelled out. One
couldn't get a baby sitter, another didn't have the money, and one
said she was sick. Of course I did not go by myself and they never
brought up going to the association again. Who knows they probably
decided to go without me. In any event these new friends proved to be
friends only for the duration of the course we were in. Once we no
longer had that common bond between us, the telephone calls ceased
and the communication between us ended.

I missed out on an opportunity to join a new group because I would
not go anywhere on my own.

One year later, I still remembered the single parent association. I
still wanted to go, but I still won't go. I am just too shy to meet
people on my own.

I found the location of the group and literally begged one of my
single friends to come with me. She was not interested. I bugged her
so much she decided to go, just to get me to shut up.

When we walked into the meeting, the first thing we noticed was that
everyone was white. My friend is a black woman and felt out of place.
We sat down in a corner and remained pretty much to ourselves the
entire evening.

The membership director of the group came over to talk to us. We
scoffed it off. It was her job to do just that, we rationalized, but
what about these other unfriendly people?

It was obvious to every person in that room, that we had copped an
attitude sending out the signal - leave us alone we don't fit in.

We left that evening complaining the people were not friendly. Nobody
bothered to say more than hello to us. "Who wants to be a member of
this snotty group anyhow? We whined.

Personally, what had I learned from that experience? I learned to
reinforce my own negative thinking and justify my behaviour by
putting myself in the victim mode.

Was I really a victim? Yes I was shy, but was I blameless? Hell no! I
never made an effort. I didn't get up and mingle, I sat there without
even a smile on my face, and picked fault with everything I saw.

By the following year I had taken self awareness courses and started
to seriously look at my weaknesses as well as my strengths.

I still wanted to be involved with the single parent association. But
this times things would be different. I was going to let them know
who I was. I was not going to sit in the corner and be ignored.

I had decided that being shy was not working for me. I was unhappy
and unless I created a new life for myself, I would continue to be
unhappy.

This new life meant I had to decide, whether or not I wanted to
continue to be shy, stay home and be miserable, or go out, push
myself forward, and see what happened.

I went to yet another meeting of the single parent association with
my friend. The difference this time was that I wasn't depending on
her to make my evening for me.

Lavenia assumed her usual stance in the corner. I went up to the
group immediately and introduced myself. I offered my "two cents
worth" into the ongoing conversation; guess what? The people were
very open and receptive. They invited me to join the board of
directors that very evening.

They found Lavenia to be very hostile. She refused to contribute to
the conversation taking place. When someone tried to talk to her, she
would respond with one word answers. Needless to say she did not
enjoy herself and told me she was never going back again.

On the other hand, I was opening up to a whole new world and its
accompanying experiences. I am now 50-years-old and I still have two
friends that I met through the association twenty-three-years before.

Within no time I took on different responsibilities within the
organization. My favourite board position was membership director. I
meet with the new people as they joined, processed their
applications, renewal fees, and listened to their issues.

One of the biggest membership concerns was about being shy and not
knowing how to open up to people. From my observations, I could see
there were two ways of approaching this concern. Some displayed a
positive attitude, taking responsibility for their behaviour.
However, others pulled a "Lavenia and Carol"; sitting there doing
nothing and expecting everyone else to make their happiness for them.

I had the opportunity to share my own experience some of the
membership, and with others, I just stated,

"I understand exactly what you are saying. You are right. Nobody
talked to you. I saw that myself, but while you were watching some
others have fun, you were sitting with people who were just as shy as
you are. Did you ever think that maybe they were thinking you were
unfriendly because you were not bothering with them either?"

The preverbal light bulb went off for a lot of them. They promised
they would make an effort to take one baby step; to talk to at least
one person sitting beside them. I even had to coach some of them on
how to start up a conversation with a stranger.

I began, "Start with Hi, I am Jane, I am new here. It's my first
night, and just see what happens."

Quite a few came back over the years to tell me they made a friend
that evening with Joe or Jim or Mary who was also new and just as shy
as they were. Later a veteran such as Fred or Lucy became their
friend as well.

Isn't it amazing just how much a shy person can really do when they
make an effort?



Carol Roach

winterose@...


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Many years ago in a small village, a farmer had the misfortune of
owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.

The moneylender, who was an awful, mean man, fancied the farmer's
beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry
his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the
proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let
providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black
pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag.

Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her
father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and ] her
father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown
into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As
they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he
picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two
black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to
pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field.

What would you have done if you were the girl?

If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag
and expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order
to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with
the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between
lateral and logical thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved
with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she
chooses the above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble.
Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the bble-
strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other
pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into
the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which
pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had
picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his
dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into
an extremely advantageous one.


Christine

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Remember 9/11/01

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