Dear Contacts:

This is a friendly reminder to let you know that my title of 'Reverend' is
much more than some kind of internet handle.
I am, in fact, a legally-ordained minister.
When I was 20, I became legally ordained through an organization in California
known as The American Fellowship Church. This ordination was only good for one
year, however. When it had expired, I renewed my ministry via The Ministry of
Salvation Church in Chula Vista, California. This one was good for life.
In the years that have past, I have not had the benefit of putting my minister
credentials to use by performing any ceremonies, despite having attended many.
On some occasions, I was rather disappointed that a friend or relative had had
me along merely as a guest, when the particular occasion would have been
well-suited to my abilities.
So, seeing as how the Ministry of Salvation church is a bit hard to find these
days (as is my credential card), I have submitted a renewal application with the
Universal Life Church in Modesto, CA. I will also finally be purchasing some
materials and supplies for performing rites and ceremonies, I will be receiving
a regular newsletter, and I will be placing my name in a minister's directory.
Basically, I want all of you to know that I am up to the challenge of getting
some real 'preacher' experience under my belt, and I would like you to keep me
in mind the next time you are looking for a minister to head up a baptism,
wedding, funeral, or similar ceremony. (I don't think I can do Bar Mitzvahs, but
I can check.) Also, you may remember that I am also a singer-songwriter, and am
also capable of rustling up some musical entertainment for your event, as well.
Prices on most minister services range from free to 'donation expected', while
musical services range from free to 'affordably expensive', depending on
different variants. Unless travel fare is provided, all events must be in the
northeastern United States.
While I want you to know that my personal spiritual philosophies are generally
very non-religious, I will respectfully perform in the appropriate manner for
your occasion. (Feel free to discuss and arrange the proceedings with me in
great detail.)

However, as a side note, I would also like to refer you to this link. Although
I am not an atheist, but rather an agnostic, I have found the following website
to be a very informative and well-presented site that intellectually discusses
the atheistic viewpoint. It often seriously challenges The Bible, and is very
amusing, to boot.
[WARNING: It may shake your faith if you're not careful!]:
http://www.english-atheist.co.uk/


The Eminem of E-mail,
Reverend Flash



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P.S. Please note that all mail should currently be sent to
reverendflash@..., but family and friends may send mail to my
semi-confidential FreePDX account. Thank you.


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"With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I
should die." - Abraham Lincoln


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