The network that cut its teeth on the hip and hot of the music industry has
turned its back
on the times and the tunes.

By SEAN DALY

Published September 7, 2006

There was a symbolic funereal moment during last week's MTV Video Music Awards,
a
pathetic, overlong debacle that should be dragged to the pop-culture woodshed
and shot
through its Moonman head.

After another lackluster performance by another forgettable band, the camera
panned the
star-studded crowd at Radio City Music Hall and found Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg and
Pink,
usually the lives of the party, all looking devastatingly bored.

Even worse, they looked totally out of place.

And at that very moment, I realized a cold, sad truth about the cable network
that
celebrated its 25th anniversary this year:

MTV hates music.

Okay, maybe hates is too strong a word. Resents is probably more accurate - as
in, MTV
resents the core reason it got into business. MTV resents having to take time
away from
lusty-teen reality shows. MTV resents having to accept the charges when Billy
Squier calls
collect.

Like FM radio, MTV is finally and utterly irrelevant as a source of music
appreciation.

Everyone knows MTV stopped caring about music videos years ago. On a chilly day
in
1992 - that is, when The Real World debuted - MTV commenced ditching their
initial art
form in favor of cheapo reality television (My Super Sweet 16, Laguna Beach),
sloppy game
shows (Yo Momma!, Pimp My Ride) and Spring Break boobathons.

But here's the thing: At least during those rare moments when it cranked up the
tunes,
MTV faked like it still appreciated pop music.

Not anymore.

If the VMAs are a microcosm of MTV's current musical aptitude, consider this:
Kelly
Clarkson is arguably the hottest pop singer on the planet, but not only was she
a no-show
at this year's VMAs, but her win for best female pop video was downplayed to the
point of
disdain. Mariah Carey had the biggest-selling album of last year, but if she was
mentioned
at the event, I didn't hear it. This year's biggest breakout band, Gnarls
Barkley, was all but
ignored at the VMAs - although they did play the MTV Movie Awards, which is
telling in
itself.

You know what the biggest-selling album of this year is? The soundtrack to High
School
Musical, a cheapo Disney Channel movie-turned-phenomenon. MTV pretends like it
doesn't exist.

And it's not like the network is once again throwing bones to people over 25.
When they
tried to nod to older, wiser music fans at the VMAs, they gave us a doddering
Lou Reed
and a confused Axl Rose.

These days, when MTV "stops being real" and shows us the stars, it deals almost
exclusively in celebrity. The network takes its cues from who's boinking whom on
the
cover of US Weekly. The biggest story lines at the VMAs and on daily update show
TRL
usually involve two fractured couples: Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson (still
separated,
still not talking) and Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (still separated, still
not eating). Calling
any of them a "musician" should be a jailable offense.

Twenty five years ago, MTV was your first stop for what's hip, what's hot,
what's not in
music. MTV was kickstarted on the danger and sex appeal of pop stars. Not just
what they
sounded like, but what they looked like when they crooned and swooned and
battled
hungry wolf-women in generic jungles.

I was 11 when the channel debuted, and MTV was teenage America's guiding light.
Not
knowing Martha Quinn was the equivalent of getting picked last in kickball.
Welcome to
the Loser's Club, kid. Enjoy Friday Night Videos.

But MTV has lost all of its buzz factor. I watched MTV for hours and hours the
other night,
desperate for a faint whiff of rock 'n' roll rebellion. But alas, the sole
programming was
Parental Control, a reality game show in which Mom and Dad try to break up their
children's relationships. One after the other, the kids proudly talked about
being "goal-
oriented." It made me want to buy my 2-year-old a tongue ring.

How sad. MTV grew up to be a clueless 25-year-old with a lame record collection.
MTV is
a follower, not a leader. MTV is no fun to be around.

And MTV is a buzzkill. Just when the VMAs were winding down and needed
something,
anything to save them: Ladies and gentlemen . . . Al Gore! The former VP's
melting-glacier
spiel was sad. But even sadder was how Al looked a lot more comfortable on MTV
than
Jay-Z, Snoop and Pink.

Sean Daly can be reached at sdaly@... or (727) 893-8467. His blog is at
www.sptimes.com/blogs/popmusic.