Holy smokes! Eye guess ye all heard that Eye, yer President of All
Things Squishy had me appendix ripped from me still, warm, quiverin'
body. Eye have been given a clean bill of health and have returnededed
to... WORK.

Eye still can't drum fer aboot anudder week. But that's okay. At least
Eye'll be able to drum. Ye see the Tale of Jeel and His Bloody Appendix
didn't start at Wilford Hall...

'Twas a warm and sunny marning when Jeel hit the road to see frenz and
family in Minnesota and Washington. Jeel had nary a worry in the world
except where to eat and gas up. All went well until he arrivededed in
Minneapolis.

Due to the sun getting hotter, Minnesota had seen little or no snow
and... AND the polar caps on Mars were melting as well. Now that's some
greenhouse gas don'tcha know? So it came as a shock when Jeel saw snow
falling as he hit the Twin Cities. In fact, he saw a bleepidity bleep
snow storm.

After three days, he thought he'd best hit the road and git to
Washington before anudder snow storm hit. As he's driving through North
Dakota, he saw snow a'coming. And it kept a'coming. So Jeel stopped at
The Bates Motel Jr. somewhere near Beach, ND which is about 20 miles
from the Middle Of Nowhere.

The service counter was behind a cage (yes, a cage). Mother Bates Jr.
greeted Jeel with a friendly cackle and directed him to his room below
ground (for reals!) which had a little window at ground level so one
could see the desolate, freezing plains behind The Bates Motel Jr.

Jeel noticed that the door chain was missing and there was a sign on the
bathroom door that said, "Please close bathroom door when taking a
shower or the fire alarm will go off." This seemed to translate roughly
to "Please close the bathroom door when taking a shower because we need
to sneak in without your noticing us which is helped by the fact we
removed your door chain and we wish to stab you repeatedly and steal
your bongos."

The wind howled outside the window and Mother Bates Jr. howled outside
the door all night long. By 4:00 a.m. Jeel decided it was time to leave
and hit the icy road leading to Montana and THE CRAZY MOUNTAINS. He
prayed all the way to Bremerton, WA where his daughter and grandpups
awaited. After playing with the grandpups and thoroughly enjoying
Ivar's Acres and Acres of Clams for a week, Jeel headed back to Texas.

The trip was uneventful until Jeel arrived in El Paso. He stopped, as
usual, at a Flying J truck stop to fill up the tank with gas and his
stomach with pizza. Aboot 11:00 p.m. at the first rest stop outside El
Paso Jeel decided to free the enslaved food in his belly. The cries of
freedom were incredible as were the whimpers of Jeel. He thought he had
food poisoning and decided to keep pushing on, visiting every rest stop
for 500 miles to say "H-h-h-hellooooooo!" and weep.

Aboot 250 miles from SA, Jeel realized he didn't have food poisoning
because the pain in his gut was like really bad and really, really hurt
every time the car hit a bump. "Oh, fiddlesticks!" Jeel exclaimed (Jeel
actually exclaimed something else), "Eye hope it ain't me blinkedity
blink appendix!"

Arriving at Wilford Hall too many hours later, Jeel was rushed into
surgery. As the sedative in his IV started taking effect, Jeel noticed
a man with a surgical mask hovering over him.

"Hello, Jeel," said the man in the mask, "I'm Doctor Bates Jr. and I'll
be rippin' your appendix from your quivering body. Mother Bates Jr.
sends her regards." Then everything went black.

So that's the tale of me trip and me surgery. Eye'm feelin' purty goot
and Eye'd like to thank everyone fer their good wishes and prayers.

Eye'm back!

Jeel



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