Thanks Patti.

I'm at one of those "calm" periods, after lots of hysterical times
over the last few weeks. It isn't even a month.

The whole thing was a horror, from the moment the surgeon charged out
of the OR and announced "There was nothing I could do for him. He had
cancer all throughout his stomach. (he meant torso, and yes I know
i'm not a Doctor, but I DO know the difference.)"

He was talking about Scott in the past tense, and he was NOT DEAD at
that point.

The Dr.'s made this a nightmare more than it already was!!!!! The
nurses and support staff were, for the most part, great.

Fortunately, we all had time with Scott to tell him how much we cared
about him. He got lots of visitors and messages and love. We felt so
positive he would live, but the old positive thinking b.s. won't
change a thing when the body is under such an assault.

Before he died, I got to say "I love you" and he said "I love you."
Not everyone has that enormous luxury!!!!!

The emergeny folks then took him out to the ambulance and he passed
away without pain.

He was a great man and I'm sooooo lucky to have known him and
infinetly blessed that I was his wife. I loved him very much--still
love him! And, it's been hell.

I have lots of challenges ahead of me, and I'm completely frightened
and not looking forward to life without that magnificent man!

His death is wrong. It isn't fair. But it just IS and it hurts beyond
my ability to put it into words.

Thanks! Everyone in my life has been incredibly supportive and I
would not be still standing if it were not for our incredible
friends.

Scott was a HUGE Rush fan, and I'm finally reading their drummer Neil
Peart's book about when he lost his 19 y.o. daughter to a drunk
driver and then a year later, lost his wife of 22 years to cancer. He
dealt with it by getting on his motorcycle and just GOING. He stayed
at crappy hotels and visited old friends, wrote a journal and spent
time figuring out how and why he would want to live again.

Over the holiday, I'm spending some time with the folks that have
been friends from the beginning (more like family) who actually got
us together, played a little matchmaker and all. They've been close
friends ever since, and their son was with me when I got that ton of
bricks news dropped on me (and of course, Scott) when the Doctor
blurted out his own problems, of how he couldn't do it, etc.

It's a nightmare!!! Or rather, I wish it were. The worst thing about
this: I will survive. I don't want to, but I will.

I just spent a few days with Scott's brother, nephew, mom and my
sister in law, who is wonderful. It was sad, but I needed to be with
them and out of this big house, that only reminds me of how much I
love my husband.

Thanks everyone,
Love,
Betsy





--- In weirdalsstupidclub@yahoogroups.com, algonacchick
<no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> I am so sorry, Betsy. I'm also sorry I didn't see this sooner, but
do
> know that I do care, and if you need a shoulder, I'm here. It's
great
> that you have some really nice people who are helping you out
during
> such a difficult time.
>
> *hugs*
>
> Patti
>
> --- In weirdalsstupidclub@yahoogroups.com, betsybird_3000
> <no_reply@> wrote:
> >
> > I'm sorry to say that my husband has passed away from cancer, we
> > didn't even know he had until the end of last month--and possibly
> > some medical mis-calculations. He was a wonderful man and he will
> be
> > missed by many. I loved him more than I can say, and I was
blessed
> > beyond all measure to have my treasured uber-alpha-geek in my
life
> > for 15 wonderful years.
> >
> > I am surrounded by the most incredible people, who are looking
> after
> > me and making sure that all the business stuff is taken care of.
> > Without them, I would not be able to stand up, or even
contemplate
> > living after Scott.
> >
> > We had a memorial/wake for him this weekend, and the outpouring
of
> > love and the overwhelming response from friends and colleagues,
> some
> > friends that go back for years and years. There was a whole
> > contingent of people that work with him...not just with his
company
> > but with his company's CLIENTS!!! I keep babbling "incredible"
but
> to
> > know Scott was indeed to love him and everyone who worked with
him,
> > or knew him as a friend, well...he was an amazing man.
> >
> > I will have some links, so that I can share some more about him
> with
> > you.
> >
> > Betsy
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In weirdalsstupidclub@yahoogroups.com, betsybird_3000
> > <no_reply@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Hello folks,
> > >
> > > My husband Scott has just been diagnosed with a nasty, fast
> growing
> > > cancer. We are in shock! We've had some set backs, as we are in
> the
> > > process of getting him to some specialists, as the docs here in
> > Podunk,
> > > PA are well intentioned, but we need to get him ASAP to a full
> > blown
> > > cancer treatment center.
> > >
> > > Please keep us in your thoughts, hearts and prayers or
> meditations.
> > >
> > > Feel free to write. We need all the love and support we can
> muster!
> > > Love,
> > > Betsy
> > >
> >
>