hello ppl.i wrote this stuff some days ago, and wanted to rewrite it. any thoughts/opinions/critiqs? i really dunno which parts should be highlighted more when...
21094
J Heery
HeeryIs
Apr 1, 2006 12:39 pm
I agree. The problem was his reviews were almost entirely personal attacks and profanity. I don't think any of them are still on the thread to view... ... ...
21095
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 12:41 pm
Hi Jaamiz, This is the inspector cliche talking, you've sneaked a few in there, haven't you ! I've marked the cliches in brackets and added a couple of...
21096
writing-songs@yahoogr...
Apr 1, 2006 12:45 pm
Thank you for joining the Writingsongs.com e-mail list This message is sent to all members monthly and on subscription. You do not have to subscribe to Yahoo,...
21097
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 12:49 pm
Hi there, I wrote this last night as the follow up to 'Wired for love' my first electropop song. The music for that one's finished BTW, just waiting to get the...
21098
idontcarebear4
Apr 1, 2006 3:54 pm
I've been grounded for a week so I haven't critiqued in a while, but I was just wondering if I could get some on this because last time I didn't get any....
21099
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 4:22 pm
Hi There, Sorry to have to say this but I really don't like this at all, you can write much better than this !!! It's too repetitive, I can't see any hook in...
21100
Brian Crant
idontcarebear4
Apr 1, 2006 5:07 pm
the truth is all I wanted Keith Hale <keithhale25@...> wrote: Hi There, Sorry to have to say this but I really don't like this at all, you can write...
21101
J Heery
HeeryIs
Apr 1, 2006 5:12 pm
This song confuses me. What is phoney finer through the hair? Why are they a sweetie then a bitch? boom boom boom. ... but ... I...
21102
J Heery
HeeryIs
Apr 1, 2006 7:27 pm
Keith, I like this one a lot. The computer sounds like hal9000 or skynet. Maybe have a middle eight with a different rhythm? regards John ... I've ... one,...
21103
decembers_chyld
Apr 1, 2006 8:25 pm
Sounds like you did...from your folks. ;) ... but ... I...
21104
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 10:35 pm
Hi John, You got it, but I knew you would ! That's exactly what I'm aiming at. It's not too original an idea, but to my knowledge it's never been done in a...
21105
Alan
hoopster3259
Apr 1, 2006 10:38 pm
J, Thanks for responding to me rather than Richard . . . I agree with the room/gloom. I worked myself into a corner and ran out of time to find something...
21106
Alan
hoopster3259
Apr 1, 2006 10:40 pm
Kevin, The chorus was supposed to be clearer that he/she was going to just hang around home but escape through drink, imagining another life. I need to make it...
21107
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 10:48 pm
Alan, The chorus was perfectly clear to me, coming after the first & second verses that spelt it out in capital letters ! If you meant something else then you...
21108
Alan
hoopster3259
Apr 1, 2006 10:56 pm
Jaamiiz, If you have the music for this already then forget what I'm about to say. I was reading your lyrics trying to get a feel for them and ... OR I can...
21109
Alan
hoopster3259
Apr 1, 2006 11:00 pm
Keith, The only line unclear to me is the reference to behind fences. I get the rest. Interesting lyrics. I'm curious to see how it comes out. Alan ... I've...
21110
Alan
hoopster3259
Apr 1, 2006 11:03 pm
Enjoy the next week, guys. You've got some relief from my posts. I'll be trying to enjoy some away time with my wife. Being with my wife is easy, flying...
21111
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 11:05 pm
Hi Alan, As someone who used to work in this 'field', they are indeed behind fences, trust me on that one !!! Keith ... get ... out. ... finished...
21112
Keith Hale
iwordsmithy
Apr 1, 2006 11:09 pm
John, Could you email me privately, I seem to have somehow lost your address from my contacts. Keith ... end ! ... it ... a ... an ... <keithhale25@> ... for ...
21113
decembers_chyld
Apr 2, 2006 1:15 am
Even more intriguing. Write on. ... indeed ... <keithhale25@>...
21114
Kevin Bradley
writemyday
Apr 2, 2006 4:10 am
Alan, now that you explain it,I understand. I still think that the verses over power your chorus. Maybe it is only the last of the chorus that needs to hit...
21115
decembers_chyld
Apr 2, 2006 9:45 am
I'm afraid I'll paint my heart That you'll note it between the lines Scared there'll be more red than white In spaces left unrhymed I'm afraid I'll sing my...
21116
Andrew C
andrew35_345
Apr 2, 2006 10:07 pm
The dead leaves fall on a autum day it hits the ground and my love has shattered away Myheart is open my wounds are soakin and i can't feel a thing My blood is...
21117
lisa roberts
candigcayne2844
Apr 2, 2006 10:11 pm
well actually if you look at it this way, it's cool and all you entitling it true love but " "heaven sent" would be a more appropriate title as well eventhugh...
21118
Andrew C
andrew35_345
Apr 2, 2006 10:13 pm
I sat a lovely day Waiting for your time I wait a long long day Such a wonderful way For you to say... ohh..oh.. I care For the rest i wait for you And now til...
21119
Steve Cooke
comradecooke
Apr 2, 2006 10:25 pm
Andrew, When posting a new lyric to the list, it would be helpful if you could introduce the song first and state whether you want feedback or help from other...
21120
Kevin Bradley
writemyday
Apr 2, 2006 10:26 pm
Lisa Absolutely. Kevin lisa roberts <candigcayne2844@...> wrote: well actually if you look at it this way, it's cool and all you entitling it true love...
21121
decembers_chyld
Apr 2, 2006 10:45 pm
Do you like it? Do you hate it? Did it move you? Did it groove you? Is there a better way to say it? A better way to play it?...
21122
Kevin Bradley
writemyday
Apr 2, 2006 10:46 pm
Andrew What is the reason for the f word? If she truly can't see whats shes missing.How does she do all these wonderful things for you. Are you together or...
